Rating: PG-13/R for creepiness
Genre: Horror, darkfic
Continuity: TLFENH. Except they sorta did.
Preliminary notes: Just a warning. Maybe two. One: it has a lightish beginning but it's pretty dark by the end. Two: parts of it, I've been told, are pretty freaky. If you dislike horror, avoid this. The rest: Enjoy!

It started almost unnoticeably, and Joxer might almost have forgotten it if it hadn't all happened so quickly.

Eve was going through a fussy period, and as a result, so was Xena; most of the group members got very little sleep, with the exception of Gabrielle, who for some inscrutable reason was blessed by the Gods with the ability to sleep through nearly anything. Still, Gabrielle seemed to take any excuse to be cranky and use it justifiably, so as a result, it could be said that no one had been in the best of moods lately.

It was Joxer's turn to cook, and even though this usually meant that the food would be at least palatable (as opposed to Xena's meals), both of the women predictably took the opportunity to grouse about his fictionally poor culinary skills.

"I guess anything is better than starving," Gabrielle said loudly, flopping onto her back on her bedroll as if she hadn't been getting her full eight hours the past four nights.

"No hot sauce this time, Joxer," Xena instructed, as though by failing to remind him Joxer would automatically use it, "it makes my breast milk taste weird and then Eve gets diarrhea."

"Wow, thanks," muttered Joxer irritably, trying to clear his head of three bad mental pictures at once.

Gabrielle chimed in again, humourlessly. "Speaking of diarrhea, this better not be that radish stew again."

Joxer nodded in resignation. "I was waiting for that one to come up."

"I'm hoping it doesn't this time," Gabrielle shot back, and Joxer kicked himself for leaving an opening.

Dinner was consumed without complaint, but also without compliment. Conversation was sparse; everyone was much more interested in the fact that, for the first time in several nights, Eve's feeding went smoothly and the baby girl dropped off to sleep in very little time.

Xena in particular was so relieved that she was bordering on jubilant as she bid Gabrielle and Joxer a good night. "Do you know how long I'm going to sleep tonight?" she asked them, a giddy edge to her words.

"How long?" Gabrielle humoured her.

"All night!" Xena answered, and gave them both a thumbs-up. Joxer and Gabrielle exchanged glances, and shrugged.

Joxer had to admit, however, that the solid-seeming prospect of a full night's sleep was, indeed, a resoundingly pleasant one. He lay down on his bedroll and looked up at the dark tips of the trees outlined against the sky, black masses framing a vast space that was only less black in comparison with the shadows down in the forest below. Rest, he thought happily, real rest, and about time, too.

He shut his eyes, and felt himself sinking into sleep.

He had no concept of how much time had passed when he woke up, only that it hadn't felt like much. He rolled over, with every intent of curling up and dropping back off to sleep, but his eyes fell on the logs where the now-dead fire had been a while before. Gabrielle was there, sitting in silence, staring down at her feet.

He thought it was Gabrielle, anyway; it was so dark, here in the forest, but he recognized the shape of her body, the length of her neck; he could make out the blonde hair brushing against the very tips of her shoulders as she slumped there.

Was something wrong? Joxer's mind was still sleep-lagged, but it slowly dawned on him that her posture - her very presence at this hour - might mean something bad. Before he had even decided for sure if he would get up, he started to pull back the fur he slept under - then stopped himself. It was entirely possible that Gab wanted to be left alone, if something was bothering her. It might get him yelled at, or worse, if he approached her now.

But... if she was upset...

He stared at her as hard as he could, trying to make out her face, to find an expression there. But there was nothing... no sign of anything, even her face. For a moment he felt frightened - was it even Gabrielle?

She looked at him.

It took him a second to realize it, since it was too dark for him to notice her head turning, and he was still lost in contemplation. Then his heart jolted a little as he realized that she'd turned her head, and was staring straight at him - or so he assumed, in any case, since he still couldn't see her face.

He froze, feeling caught, and guilt washed over him. Guilt, and something else, something just enough to make him uncomfortable.

If he couldn't see her face, then there was no way she could see his either, right? He shut his eyes, pretending to sleep, and the whole thing was way too weird, and he'd give Gabrielle her privacy, and he must have slept without realizing it this time, because when he peeked through his eyelashes to see if she was still looking at him, there was no one there.

"So, not sleepin', huh?"

Gabrielle stopped short and looked at him in surprise. "What?"

Joxer clapped her reassuringly on the shoulder, and leaned closer to her to whisper loudly, "Was it a bad dream? 'Cause if that was it, you can wake me up next time. I'm a good listener."

The irritation that lined her face was warring with confusion. "Joxer," she said patiently, "I didn't have a bad dream. I slept all night."

Joxer shook his head knowingly. The guilt and ... other feelings he'd had the night before had been left behind with the dark, and were as vague a memory as the dreams he'd had; the idea that Gabrielle might have a private reason to be awake at night didn't even make sense anymore. "Gabby, Gabby, Gabby... It's okay. I saw you. There's no point in OW!"

Her fingers digging into his earlobe, Gabrielle pulled him down to her level and repeated calmly, "I slept all night, Joxer. You didn't see me."

"Ow," he said again, petulantly, when she released him. "Fine. Be that way." He darted backwards as she went for his ear again. "But, look, who did I see, then?"

Gabrielle shrugged. "Xena, I guess."

"Oh come on. Like I don't know the difference between you and Xena."

"You should, by now," Xena offered, joining the conversation. "But I'm not counting on it yet."

"Ha. Ha. You know, sometimes I wonder why I let you guys-"

Gabrielle grinned and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Like you have a choice."

"Why does Joxer not know the difference between us?" Xena asked, and Joxer sighed loudly.

"He says he saw me awake last night." Gabrielle, surprisingly, didn't have a trace of mockery in her as she related this. Joxer was moved. Curiously, she added, "Were you up?"

"It wasn't Xena," Joxer protested loudly.

Ignoring him, Xena answered, "No... Sure you weren't just dreaming, Joxer?"

"Yes," he said pointedly.

"How light was it?"

"Not very."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "Then how can you be sure you saw anyone?"

"Well, because I have eyes like a hawk, that's how!" Joxer lifted his chin and ignored the exasperated eye-rolling that was occuring on either side of him. "But also 'cause the silhouette was pretty clear. And I know how Gabby sits."

Gabrielle gave a worried look around him, to Xena. "You don't think there was actually someone in the camp last night, do you?"

"Nah, I'd have seen tracks," Xena said dismissively.

"Unless they didn't want to be seen," said Gabrielle, and Xena snorted.

"I'd still have seen 'em."

Joxer got fed up. "Is there some reason you can't just take my word for it?"

Gabrielle and Xena gave him identical wry looks, and didn't answer.

Dimly, he heard footsteps.

Still half-asleep, he decided not to wake up. The footsteps were none of his concern, they could go wherever they wanted. He didn't care.

Crashing swiftly now, not bothering to step softly. On his left.

Joxer frowned in his sleep, annoyed that he could hear them clearly enough to know what side they were on.

No sound, no movement. A relief. The quiet extended beyond Joxer's ability to track, and he floated on his way back to sleep, until a jolt - steps. Again. Determined, louder.

I am asleep, he told himself, and tried to roll over onto his back. He couldn't quite move.

The footsteps quickened, became a run, then slowed. Stopped.

By his head.

He kept his eyes shut through force of will. He was asleep. He was asleep...

Next to him, silence, stillness now broken by muted thumps - knees falling gently onto the leaves beside his head. Weight shifting.

Joxer was awake.

He opened his eyes, and there she was, her light hair contrasted on her darkened face, features as invisible as before; she knelt over him, her chin set sternly, her arms raised, and above her - a gleam - her sai, grasped solidly between both hands, ready to bring down upon him.

"GAB!!" He screamed as he flailed, tucking his head under his arms, squirming before she could bring her weapon down and knowing from the set of her arms that he was too late.

But she missed, somehow, and he rolled away, and he was still screaming, and she was screaming shrilly and grabbing his shoulders and hands...

"Joxer! JOXER! It's okay, you were dreaming!"

The shrill screaming continued. Joxer couldn't shake it, and it kept his panic going. He fought to get away, until he couldn't move, and only then did the screaming become Eve, wailing a loud protest at being awoken so suddenly. He opened his eyes, carefully, and found Xena holding him by his shoulders, keeping him in place. "Awake? Good," she said, and dropped him to calm her daughter.

"Xena..." he said, shaken, and leaned against his support.

Gabrielle stared down at him, her eyes shadowed in the dark.

"YOW!" Joxer jumped up again, and she caught him and pulled him back.

"Joxer, it was just a nightmare. You're awake now. Can you see that? It's us, we're not going to hurt you."

She put a comforting hand to his cheek, and even as he began to melt against the feeling of her skin against his, Joxer shook. "It wasn't a nightmare," he mumbled, and felt cold.

"But why would he dream that I'm trying to kill him?" Gabrielle asked quietly, glancing ahead where Joxer was walking slowly, holding Eve.

Next to her, Xena shrugged easily. "Seems like a metaphor to me."

"Joxer doesn't get metaphors. He couldn't possibly dream in them."

Xena smiled fondly, her eyes on her daughter and her clumsy friend. "He has more layers than we give him credit for."

"I know," Gabrielle said, and sighed. "I know, he does, Xena. And I know I don't give him any credit, but - do you think he really thinks I hate him? That I want to kill him?"

"I think I'm not the one to answer that," was all Xena would say.

Gabrielle walked on in silence for a while, her eyes on the man who loved her as he held her surrogate daughter.

Dinner was quieter than usual. Gabrielle cooked, and stayed away from conversation as she did; but there was little conversation to involve herself in anyway, since Xena had buried herself in weapons upkeep, and Joxer - well, Joxer's mind was elsewhere.

When she made up his plate, she put a bit more rabbit onto it than usual, and hoped he'd notice without her saying anything. But he didn't seem to notice anything; she had to say his name before he noticed her holding the plate out to him.

"Oh. Thanks." He looked away as he took it from her, without acknowledging the smile she was giving him.

Gabrielle deflated a little, feeling hurt. Joxer wasn't normally this distant, and she didn't like it. And his nightmares from the last two nights bothered her: it was awkward enough to know that he dreamed about her fairly regularly, but downright creepy to have the roles she'd been cast in lately.

And, there was more than that. Dreams meant things - Gabrielle knew that for a fact, from her own experience. Her relationship with Joxer was composed mostly of bickering and teasing, with obvious longing on his side that warred with exasperation from her. Joxer had weathered a lot, kept his love for her burning through her own obliviousness, hostility, and denial. It was only recently that they'd reached a shaky, but level, understanding, but she wondered at times if most of the rushed conversation they'd had while he was poisoned had been, well, too rushed. Things had been said, but were they taken the right way?

He knew she loved him, didn't he? He didn't think that was just a parting gift, a well-meaning lie?

Or, the next night, would this shade-Gabrielle in his dreams declare her love for him before plunging a sword through his heart?

She was worried, and more so by the obvious tension in his face. Whatever was going on under the surface, she hoped it would be easier on him if he shared it. Seating herself at his side, Gabrielle put a hand lightly on his shoulder. "Hey. You okay?"

"Hm? Oh. Yeah, fine," he said tautly. Remembering his dinner, he picked up his plate and chewed absently at whatever he grabbed. "Don' wowwy 'bout me," he said, then added, "This's good."

"Thanks," she said lightly, peering into his eyes. "But I'm going to worry anyway."

Joxer ducked his head and put his plate down, sighing.

"Joxer, look..." She trailed off, feeling awkward, not sure of what to say. "You should talk about this. It might help with the nightmares."

"They're not nightmares," he said, turning to look her in the eyes. She was startled by his emphatic tone, and pulled back from him. "I'm totally awake when they happen!"

The meaning of this was, to Gabrielle, an accusation. "So you think that I really am trying to kill you?!"

"No!"

"What then - I'm walking in my sleep?"

He shook his head, turning away from her. "You don't get it."

"Joxer," she said forcefully, grabbing his chin and turning him to look at her. "They are nightmares. Xena and I searched the area last night, and there was no one here. No footprints by your bedroll, no signs of any intruders -"

"I know that," he said harshly. She could see in his face that he was starting to get fed up with her, as well.

"So what, then?"

"I don't know!" he exploded. "I can't tell you why I know it's not a dream, 'cause you're not going through it! I know it's not you, but I know it is you, and -"

"Joxer," she began again, her voice firm. "You know I love you, right?"

That put out the fire in his eyes. He blinked a few times, looking almost embarrassed. "W-well, yeah..."

"And that I'd never, ever hurt you. Or let anyone else hurt you."

He smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess."

Gabrielle let go of his chin, and held her hand against his cheek for a moment. "So, the next time you have this dream - or whatever it is - just repeat that to yourself, okay? 'Gabrielle will never hurt me.'"

Joxer pursed his lips together, not answering for a moment. Then he nodded, and looked up at her with devotion written all over his face. "Okay." He put his hand over hers, and she smiled, satisfied.

In an unspoken thought to Joxer they let the fire burn longer than usual that night. No one asked if he preferred it that way, but it was clear that he did. Gabrielle pulled her own pelt a few feet closer to his, saying nothing, not meeting his eyes when she lay down, as if she'd simply decided the ground was more comfortable here than where she'd set up a little while before.

But even with the added light, Joxer had mixed feelings as he lay in his bedroll, fur pelts up to his chin. He rolled onto his side, away from the fire, watching the shadows dance in the orange glow the flames cast, and thought.

It might not even happen again. Only two nights in a row, that didn't mean it was going to be every night. But deep inside, he knew it would.

If only he knew what was happening... If only he knew why, how, it was Gabrielle he was seeing... If only, if only.

He shut his eyes.

Conclusion >>>