Spoilers: Looking Death in the Eye, Livia
Summary: Gabrielle's thoughts during Livia.
Disclaimer: Gabrielle, Joxer, Xena, Livia/Eve, and Virgil don't belong to me, they belong to Rob Tapert and company. No one here belongs to me. This is a G-rated fanfic: no subtext, no violence, no language, no sex. I swear this is my last thought piece for now (and this time it is all thoughts). I'm going to be going back to stories that have plots in the near future. Also note that this helps set up my upcoming Joxer/Meg stories, which are my version of what happened to Joxer during Xena and Gabrielle's long absence.

Gods, I cannot believe what the last few weeks have been like. First Xena and I wake up in some ice cave, freezing our butts off, and then we learn we've been gone for 25 years. We head back to Greece and discover that Joxer has his own family now. We still don't know what's happened to our families or friends. Either Joxer doesn't know, or he's afraid to tell us.

Joxer. Gods, I was so shocked to see how old he's gotten. I knew it was him when he first came out of that kitchen, but I still couldn't believe it. It had to be rough for him to be without us.

How did he make it all these years? When we got arrested in the city, he still couldn't defend himself. Not only that, how did Virgil learn to fight? I was so shocked to see him fighting as well as I do.

Actually, Virgil seems a lot like me. I was surprised to find he's a bard. A warrior bard, just like me. Hmm, Joxer must have had some wishful thinking. Virgil's so different from Joxer. He looks just like him, from the neck up, but he's so different. I'm glad he's so kind. I wonder if Xena feels weird around him, considering his mom is her twin. I know I'd feel weird if Joxer ended up with someone who looks exactly like me.

I can't believe that he moved on, though. I mean, he's loved me for so long, I thought it would take a lot longer for him to give up. I mean, we didn't have a chance. Joxer just isn't my type. He thinks I'm his, though. Then again, I guess he wouldn't wait 25 years for us to come back.

Two years. It only took two years for him to settle with Meg. I can see ten years, but two?! I should have guessed by Virgil's age, but that just stunned me when Joxer told us about the last 25 years. I think Xena was stunned too, because she's known longer how Joxer feels about me.

I can't believe I'm even thinking this. I always thought Joxer was annoying, but he's really grown on me. He's been there for us the last two years, and we for him. He helped me with Lachrymose and saved me from drowning. I've been happier to have him around. When did I start feeling that way anyway?

Now Joxer's almost a different person. He's still goofy, but he's changed so much. I couldn't believe it when he told off that guard. Joxer would never have done that 25 years ago. He went around the known world looking for us, and had that restaurant. I guess Joxer's been our closest ally all along.

I guess what I miss most about him, though, is his affection towards me. Sure, I didn't like it when he went too far, but now that he's backed off, I miss him. He hasn't treated me the same since I said we're just friends. I guess he took it more seriously than I thought.

Wait a minute, why am I thinking so much about Joxer, anyway? I should be worried about Xena fighting Eve tomorrow, or what happened to mother and father and Lila. Why am I thinking about Joxer?

Oh gods, please don't let it be true.

Please take the time to write to trfan at zimamcfru@hotmail.com, and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Eve, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2000 by trfan and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.