Spoilers: Fallen Angel
Series: Part one of a five-part Reincarnation Arc
Summary: When Joxer learns that Xena and Gabrielle will be reincarnated, he asks Eli to join them so he won't be separated from Gabrielle forever.
Newbie Alert: Joxer's the only person I've ever written for in this story (besides Xena and Gabrielle).
Disclaimer: Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Eli, and Amarice don't belong to me, they belong to Rob Tapert and company. This is a G-rated fanfic: no subtext, no violence, no language, no sex. This takes place during Fallen Angel, right before Amarice chews Eli out. It's the first of a five-part series that shows Joxer through various incarnations, starting with Joxer and ending with Annie from Deja Vu All Over Again. This series has been on the backburner for two years, so I'm just assuming that Xena and Gabrielle didn't mess up their karma by coming back from the dead.

Joxer walked with his head bowed as he, Eli, and Amarice carted Xena and Gabrielle's bodies away from the crosses. He could barely see, and it wasn't just because of the blinding snow. He'd forgotten about his underdressed condition, lost in his grief over Gabrielle.

Gabrielle, I can't believe you're gone, he thought. You came back from the dead just a year ago, and now you're gone again. Gods, if only you could come back right now. I'd take you in my arms, tell you I love you, and never leave you again. I should have told you already that I love you. I just haven't had the courage. That's the story of my life, I guess. I never get a happy ending. You and Xena meant the world to me. I can't lose you now. How am I going to get by without you?

Eli turned and noticed how quiet and upset Joxer had become. "Is there anything you want to talk about, Joxer?"

"No, not really," said Joxer. "The only thing I should have talked about, I can't anymore."

Eli, who had been in the front of the cart, stopped it. "Amarice, can you give us a few minutes?"

Amarice sighed. "Sure. I'll see if there's a place we can put their bodies for a while. It's getting bad out here." She ran off.

Joxer started to sit down for a rest, but thought better of it when he tried to sit on a snow-covered rock.

"Would you like to tell me what's bothering you, Joxer?" asked Eli.

Joxer sighed. "I... I've loved Gabrielle a long time, and I never told her."

"Oh, I see," said Eli. "Unrequited love."

"What's that?" asked Joxer.

"It's when you love someone, but it never reaches the conclusion you want," explained Eli.

"That's right," said Joxer. "I've loved her for years, and I never got to tell her. Now I have to wait till I get to the Underworld to tell her."

Joxer noticed that Eli seemed reluctant to say anything. "What is it?"

Eli sighed. "Joxer, this isn't easy to explain, but... Xena and Gabrielle... won't go to the Underworld."

Joxer blinked. "What?"

Eli sighed again. "Look. When they were in India, they became part of what is known as the karmic cycle. Once you die, your soul, spirit, persona, whatever you want to call it, is transferred to a new body."

Joxer thought it over for several minutes.

"Look, right now, Xena's soul could be in a baby that was just born," said Eli.

Joxer tried to figure it out. "So, she and Gabrielle won't be in the Elysian Fields when I die?"

Eli shook his head. He decided to leave out the more complicated explanation.

Joxer's face fell. "I- I can't do that. I mean, I- I don't want to be down there alone. I want to be with Gabrielle. I don't want to lose her forever."

"You realize that if you want to stay with her, you must be in the karmic cycle," Eli said.

"I want to," said Joxer. "Please, I want to be with her every time."

Eli sighed. "It may work. I'd have to call on my gods to make it work, but I know they can believe that your love is pure." What he didn't say was that he'd already had a vision that Xena and Gabrielle and Alti weren't the only ones in their karmic circle. He'd had a feeling the fourth person was someone that they knew, but he hadn't figured out who until now. Joxer had been destined to be with them already.

"Thanks," said Joxer, relieved.

"I must warn you, though," said Eli. "Xena and Gabrielle are in the cycle to defeat a powerful enemy. They have to keep fighting her every chance they get. She is a powerful evil. If you are to join them, you have to face the fact that you might be in danger from her."

Joxer gulped, but he nodded.

Eli saw the fear in Joxer's eyes, but he had a feeling that Joxer cared enough for Gabrielle to take risks. "One more question, Joxer: do you have a 'way'?"

"A what?" asked Joxer.

"What do you do when you're with Xena and Gabrielle?" asked Eli, being careful to speak about them as if they were still alive so Joxer wouldn't descend into grief again.

Joxer shrugged. "I try to help them out. I try to show them that I can be a hero. I'm trying to win Gabrielle over, show her how much I love her. I want her to love me too." He hung his head.

"Then you are following the Way of the Heart," Eli said.

Joxer looked up again quickly. "What?"

"You follow your heart. It led you to Rome as much as your dreams did," said Eli. Off of Joxer's confused look he continued. "You were concerned for them because you love them, and you went to Rome even though you weren't sure the dreams were real."

Joxer nodded, understanding starting to dawn.

"I can see you have a warm heart, Joxer," said Eli. "I may not have known you long, but you show your feelings much more openly than you know."

Joxer looked away. "So what do I do next?"

"Keep following your heart," said Eli. "If you do so, you will earn a better life after you die."

"Really?" asked Joxer, some life starting to return. "You mean, I won't be a klutz, or always picked on, or anything?"

"That may happen," said Eli. "But only if you keep doing what you do now."

"Thanks," said Joxer, giving a small smile. Amarice then returned.

"Hey, I found this crypt a few hundred feet away," she said. "We can keep them there until the snow clears."

"Sounds nice," said Eli. He and Joxer got ready to move.

"Can we wait a few minutes?" asked Amarice. "I want to do something first."

Please take the time to write to trfan at zimamcfru@hotmail.com, and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Eli, Amarice, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2001 by trfan and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.