Rating: PG-13
Series: First of my four-part 25-year series, dealing with events in Joxer and Meg's lives between "Looking Death in the Eye" and "Livia". The other three stories are "Love Changes Everything", "The Value of Family", and "Past Best Forgotten".
Pairings: Joxer/Meg, Joxer/Gabrielle
Summary: Joxer, upset over the loss of Xena and Gabrielle, finds comfort with Meg while he searches for his missing friends. This story takes place two years after "Looking Death in the Eye".
References: "Kindred Spirits", "Soul Possession", and "Key to the Kingdom".

Joxer pulled up to the familiar tavern on his horse. He'd been traveling for hours, and he badly needed a rest and something to drink. He got down from the horse and put his bags back on his shoulders. He let the horse roam free, since he'd be here more than a few hours, and headed inside.

Joxer had spent the last two years searching for Xena and Gabrielle, checking all the places he'd seen- and many he hadn't seen before- hoping against hope that the next place would be where Ares had taken them. He'd taken Argo for the first few trips, but lately he'd left Argo in the care of friends and took a different horse on his journeys.

"Joxer!" cried several of Meg's girls as he came in the tavern. They were always glad to see him. "You've been gone much too long this time," said one buxom woman. "Are you staying long today? We've got a special on spanking for regular customers."

Joxer chuckled awkwardly. "Uh, no. I-I came to see Meg. Where is she?" he asked. The girls groaned in disappointment.

"Right here," said Meg, coming out of the kitchen with her hair messed up. "Sorry I'm late, but there's a big mess to clean up from lunch." The girls left, and Meg gave Joxer a big kiss. "I've missed ya, Joxer."

Joxer put his arms around Meg's waist. "I've missed you too."

Meg looked into his eyes. "Oh, I can see you need a chat. Ladies, can you excuse a while?" she said.

The other ladies left the room, "What's she got that we don't?" asked one girl as they headed out.

Meg went to the bar and got Joxer a mug of ale, and one for herself, then brought it back as Joxer seated himself at one of the tables. "So, how'd it go this time?"

Joxer sighed. "Terrible. I went over the whole Northern Amazon area, and I couldn't find anything. The amazons are still mad at me for last time, so I had to do everything myself." He put his head in his hands.

Meg moved next to him and put her arm around his shoulder. "Aw, I'm sorry, Joxer. They must mean a lot to you if you're going through all that trouble."

Joxer lifted his head. "Of course they do!" He quickly lowered his voice. "Xena helped me feel I can be somebody, and Gabrielle...." He stopped, not wanting to hurt Meg's feelings. "They're important to me, and I want to bring them back. I can't stand the thought of Eve growing up without a mother. I just- I just want them back," he said. He rarely let his emotions show, but for some reason he found it easier around Meg, except when it came to how he felt about Gabrielle. However, Meg and Xena were the only ones he could really bare all to without them making fun of him, or worrying about rejection.

Meg felt a little jealousy rise up. Even though Joxer never admitted to it, she knew he felt something for Gabrielle. It made her feel second-best sometimes. She knew, though, that Joxer really cared for his friends, and for her, and she did want to want him happy.

"You know, you've had a long trip, why don't you stay overnight?" she asked.

"I don't know," said Joxer. "I have to check on Argo at Vesta's, and I have to unpack."

"What, you don't take Argo anymore?" asked Meg. "I thought she was really good for these trips."

Joxer shrugged. "She's getting older now. Besides, it doesn't feel right, riding Xena's horse, you know? I want Xena to ride her."

Meg put her hand on his. "I understand. Anyway, I'm sure Vesta can wait one more day. Spend the night with me, you'll be fresh by morning. Unless you're too exhaused," she said slyly. She put her arms around his neck and kissed it.

Joxer managed a small smile. "All right. I guess one night can't hurt. Vesta doesn't know when I'll be back anyway."

"Joxer, do you remember what you told me that time after I sang for Ares?" Meg asked that night after they made love.

Joxer tried to think back. "You mean the 'bachelor party'?" He grimaced. He'd tried so hard to stop Ares from marrying Xena, and was upset that it didn't work. At least Xena worked things out herself.

Meg stroked his hair. "You told me you'd take me away from here someday. Remember?"

Joxer sighed and took her hand. "Yeah, I remember." He turned to look at her. "Meg, I can't do anything like marriage now. I've got to find Xena and Gabrielle. They're counting on me to find them. I can't stay here."

Meg sighed. "I'm not asking you to stay. Think about it. If you had a wife to come home to, instead of a girlfriend, maybe you'll enjoy coming home more." She giave him a small smile. "Or, I could go with you."

"Meg, you don't know what it's like out on the road," said Joxer. "It's dangerous."

"Well, what do ya do that's so dangerous?" asked Meg with a shrug.

Joxer sighed. "I go from town to town, checking all the places Xena and Gabby have been, hoping Ares hid them somewhere they've been before. There's been bandits, cold weather, wild animals."

"Hey, you're doing pretty good for running into all these things," said Meg.

Joxer gave a nervous chuckle. "I-I do my best to avoid them. Anyway, I'm even taking Gabrielle's scrolls to find these places. I've been letting people read them, too."

Meg frowned. "It doesn't sound that bad on the road." She gave him a quick kiss, then rolled over on top of him. "Joxer, I mean it. I really want to be with ya. For better for worse, huh?"

Joxer looked thoughtful. "Well-"

Meg kissed him again. "Come on, we'd make a great couple." She ran her fingers through his hair. "You know, you're the only guy I've ever known who loves me for me. You don't care about the sex. Not that it's bad," she quickly added. "It's just- you make me feel like I'm somebody, that I'm not just some plaything."

Joxer smiled. "You know what I like about you?"

"What?" asked Meg.

Joxer looked her in the eyes. "You like me the way I am too. You don't care if I'm clumsy, or dumb, or anything," he said. "I really love that." He kissed her this time.

When they pulled back again, Meg looked at him pleadingly. "So, what do ya say?"

Joxer sighed and smiled. "I guess it can't hurt to get married." Meg smiled.

Continue >>>