Rating: PG (for now...)
Genres: Xena/Hercules
Pairing: None (so far...)
Spoilers: The Quill Is Mightier... and various other episodes.

"Well, I guess that's that."

Xena surveyed the scene around her with a quirked eyebrow. Thelonious and his men were running off into the woods, trying to escape her improvised fish assault. Minya was headed off in the opposite direction, presumably back to Hower to deal with her "hormone problem", although Xena wondered if the woman would make it that far before she cornered some crusty old farmer and made his night. And Ares and Aphrodite were hopefully back on Mt. Olympus, bickering amongst themselves about whose fault the whole damn mess was.

The warrior princess turned to Joxer and Gabrielle, who were busy trying to start a fire with which to burn the gods-blighted scroll that had caused all the trouble.

"Joxer, this wood is too damp!" Gabrielle growled as she hurled a small branch in the warrior-wannabe's general direction. "It won't burn if it's wet!"

"Hey, don't blame me," Joxer protested. "The only wood I could find was covered in fish guts!"

Xena was about to offer her own suggestions about starting fires when she was interrupted by a loud thunderclap and an irate God of War crash-landing at her feet.

"What in Tartarus...? Ares?"

Before Ares could answer, another thunderclap heralded the arrival of a rapidly descending Aphrodite, who landed rather ungracefully on top of her brother.

"OWW!" Ares screamed as Aphrodite's knee made contact with a newly sensitive area of his anatomy. "Damn it, not this again! Get off of me!"

The Love Goddess rolled off of him and struggled to her feet. "Whoa, what happened?" she moaned. "One minute, I'm in my temple minding my own godly business and planning a totally righteous "Back-To-Godhood" orgy, and the next I'm back here. What gives, Ares?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," her brother snarled as he rose from the ground and dusted himself off. "I was just about to exact sweet revenge on Thelonious and his men when some godsdamned thing brought me back!" He twirled around and pointed an accusing finger at Gabrielle. "You! You've been writing on that stupid scroll again, haven't you?"

"Calm down," Xena warned, stepping forward and placing herself between her friends and the divine siblings. "Gabrielle had nothing to do with this, Ares." She retrieved the scroll from the pile of fish-marinated wood and handed it to the two Olympians. "See?"

Aphrodite unfurled the scroll and quickly scanned the parchment. "She's right, Ar. It wasn't Blondie this time."

"Well then, who was it?!?"

"I think you already know the answer to that, Ares." Athena replied as she appeared before them with a godly flash of purple.

"Athena? What's the deal, sis?" Aphrodite demanded. "Because I am soooo not ready to tackle the mortal thing again."

Athena shook her head in bemusement. "Come now, Aphrodite. Surely even you can figure out what this is all about. Zeus is absolutely furious about all the chaos you two caused down here over the last few days. Giving mortals the power over Destiny? What in the name of our father were you thinking?"

The Love Goddess shrugged meekly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

"Just give us the bottom line on this, Athena," Ares interjected. "How mad is Zeus, and how long does he plan on playing out this new little game of his?"

The Goddess of Wisdom focused her steely gaze on her wayward siblings. "You don't get it, do you? This isn't any kind of 'game', Ares. This fiasco is just the latest in a long line of incidents involving your incompetence, irresponsibility and misuse of power over the last hundred millenia. The two of you are an absolute disgrace to godhood, and Zeus and the rest of the family have had enough. So, from this point forward, you are to be stripped of your powers and condemned to wander the mortal realm for all eternity."

"WHAT?!?" Ares and Aphrodite screamed in unison as Xena and the others looked on in shock.

"Zeus has spoken, and his will shall be done." And with that, Athena vanished.

"Hey, don't you vanish on me!" Ares bellowed furiously as Aphrodite burst into tears and clung to a flustered Joxer for support. "You can't do this to us! COME BACK HERE! ATHENA!!"

Xena, for her part, looked completely nonplussed by the strange turn of events. With a defeated sigh she turned to Gabrielle, who was still in a state of shock. "Xena?"

"Yes, Gabrielle?"

"This is going to be very, very bad, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah."

....More coming soon!

Please take the time to write to Tim at tjoyce@rocketmail.com, and let him know how you like the story so far!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Ares, Aphrodite, and all characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2003 by TV's Tim and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.