Notes: The first three paragraphs of this story are rewritten from a book I love, all credit goes to Virginia Henley and her novel 'The Pirate and the Pagan' The rest of the story is purely from my own imagination (scary isn't it? *g*) and of course the characters from the Xena show...hehe!

"What a big cock!" The dark haired warrior murmured under her breath. She gazed at it for long, silent moments in wonder. It was without a doubt the biggest cock she had ever seen. Her eyes dilated with pleasure as she closed them and reopened them slowly to make sure she hadn't imagined its great size. Pleased beyond belief that she would soon possess it, she licked her lips in anticipation.

Truly it was a magnificent specimen. She held her body perfectly still and coaxed him with a soft, seductive voice. "Come, my big boy, another few inches and you are mine! Don't be shy, don't retreat, after all it's only a little sin I'm committing." She whispered. "Our chance encounter will soon be consummated." She soothed with confidence. "Your a very big cock- I hope you fit- never mind, I'll cram you in somehow," She said under her breath, she begged prettily, "If I reach out my hand, will you let me touch you, stroke you?" Better not, she thought, as he looked ready to bolt. She took a deep breath and plunged upon it...

The fat rooster squawked loudly and flapped its wings franticly, but with a small move of her wrist, her dagger was at its throat and he was dead. Grabbing it by the feet, Xena made her way back to camp. She knew Gabrielle would be happy, she loved chicken.

"I got dinner!" Xena said loudly, making herself known as she came into site with a fat rooster in hand. "Anybody want chicken?" She smirked.

"Now there's something we haven't had in awhile." Gabrielle said with relief, "I was getting sick of fish!" She glaced at the bird again as Xena drew closer. "Wow! That is a big cock!"

"Want me to cook it?" Joxer offered and both women gave him a look.

"Sorry Joxer, I don't think my stomach's up for it right now." The blond told him. He gave her a small laugh and fell quiet. Gabrielle cooked the food while Xena sharpened her sword. When it was done they ate in relative silence.

"So Joxer, what was this big news you wanted to tell us?" Xena asked, handing her empty plate to the bard.

"Oh yeah, what's that about?" Gabrielle inquired as well, setting to dishes down to do later.

"I'm going away for awhile." He started.

"Joxer you always go away for awhile. How long this time? A week? Two, three?" The bard asked casually, taking a seat a few feet from him.

"No, I mean to another country, I don't know how long I'll be." He paused to let this information sink in a bit, shifted a little in his sitting position, then continued. "I'll probably be gone a year... or more." He told them a bit sadly, he didn't like the idea of leaving his friends, not for that long. And Gabrielle... he could barely handle two weeks away from her, he hadn't a clue how he would survive this.

"Another country? Where?" Xena questioned.

"And why?" Gabrielle added. Joxer took a deep breath, remembering what happened as he told his friends...

"Joxer, I'm glad you came. Didn't know if ya would and all." Jared had begun, "I got a letter from your uncle awhile ago. Says that his twin sons died in the last raid they did and now he ain't got no one to help him on his farm." Joxer's father continued. "You remember your Uncle Jagren son, don't you?"

"Uh... not really." Joxer replied a bit hesitantly.

"Well he's the one that lives over in Norseland... don't know why for the life of me, but he does." Jared paused and scratched his head a moment. "Anyway, Jett can't do it, he's still in prison thanks to your friends... but I won't get in ta that now. We won't even mention Jace, let alone ask him to go."

"So that leaves me." Joxer summed up, talking a seat on a dusty old chair.

"Yup, that leaves you toad." His Father said making Joxer cringe a little at the childhood name, he had always hated it. "Yer Uncle is an older man, older then me... and he needs some help. Now I can't likely go myself, so it's up to you ta go. Do ya think you can handle this?" The dark haired man asked, as Joxer pondered this he noticed the changes in his Dad since the last time they had met, his hair was now streaked with grey, as was his beard. He had more wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, and he seemed to look smaller also, yet not much. When his Father's large hand came down to slap the back of his head, he snapped back to attention.

"How long does he need help?"

"About a year... least till he can find some good help." Jared said, emphasizing good, and looking down at Joxer like he always did. "The boat will be here in one week, it's called the Valkyrie. You be sure to get on it and try not to mess up like ya always do." He walked to a nearby table, picked up a mug, took a sip then turned back to Joxer. "Well go already! You still gotta get to the Pylos docks!" Joxer took his que and left.

"... and now I'm heading to the docks." Joxer finished, both women stared at him in silence for long moments.

"Joxer, if your whole family is made up of warlords, then your Uncle would most likely be one as well, right?" Gabrielle asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Probably." He shrugged.

"Then why are you going?"

"Because... even if he is..."

"He's still family." Xena finished with an understanding look.

"Exactly." Joxer nodded in agreement. Gabrielle thought a moment then responded.

"I understand the whole family thing, but doesn't that change when your family is made up of bloodthirsty warlords?" She asked raising a brow.

"Unfortunately no. All I know is, a person in my family needs help and I'm the one chosen for the job. So here I go." He told her solemnly.

Almost a week later...

"Well this is it." Xena said getting Joxer's bag off of Argo and handing it to him.

"Yeah." He replied softly.

"You could write to us." Gabrielle told him, and his face lit up.

"I will." He smiled, "Will you write back?" The bard paused looking at Xena, then smiled at him.

"Sure. Have a good trip Joxer." She rolled her eyes at him briefly and grinned. Walking closer she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He blushed and looked at her.

"I'll miss you... and you Xena." He added with a nod to the warrior.

"Bye Joxer." Xena smiled. Joxer looked at his friends one last time, Xena with her strong beauty, long dark hair and piercing blue eyes, and Gabrielle... the face of a Goddess, short blond hair and emerald eyes that made his heart melt. He knew he would miss them very much. Part of him wished they would have talked him into staying, but that didn't happen.

"Goodbye." He whispered, then turned to board the ship. Once on deck he waved to them and watched them till he sailed away.

"You know a year is a long time." Xena spoke casually as they walked away.

"Yeah," Gabrielle replied softly. "You know, I think I'm gonna miss him."

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