Part one: Hurtful Ways

Darkness fell on the night sky as the sun disappeared under the horizon. It had been a long day; they had saved a town from a warlord, rescued a woman from drowning in a lake, and walked a million miles- or so it felt as Gabrielle rubbed her aching feet. She needed a break. They had been so busy lately that by the time they made camp, she was too tired to do anything more. It tended to put a damper on her writing, and she hadn't written a single line in weeks.

And yet tomorrow was to be yet another busy day. She and Xena were heading to a city, half a day away, to help a town having troubles with a giant. Then of course, after that they would run into more problems... there was always something wrong. Gabrielle pondered why there couldn't be just one day of peace, one day to relax and do nothing. But no... that was only a fantasy, when you lived the life they did; you were always on the go.

Running a hand through her short blond hair, she sighed, to tired to even think any more. With a half smile at Xena and a good night wish, Gabrielle lay down and closed her eyes. Yet she wasn't able to sleep; her mind instead kept thinking, against her desire. Everything of the past day and the days to come ran through her thoughts. She finally came to the conclusion that she was under too much stress, but then she felt better when she promised herself to talk with Xena in the morning about talking a day off. Fantasy or not, it was worth a try. Then after gazing at the stars awhile, sleep finally took over.

Before the bard new it, the sun was up, beckoning her to awaken and face another day. Opening her eyes she saw a face hovering above her, a familiar face with dark hair laying about it. And those piecing blue eyes looking lovingly apon her. "Good morning Xena."

"Morning, sleepy head," she chuckled. "Got some rabbit cooking for breakfast." Smiling, the warrior walked back to fire and sat down. Gabrielle yawned and stretched, then slowly got up and headed towards the nearby stream. The water was cool and felt great; with a longing sigh she wished she could stay longer, but regretfully she washed quickly and got back to camp. Breakfast was quiet and Xena of course noticed.

"What's wrong?" she asked casually as she packed up Argo.

"Nothing," Gabrielle lied, but got the look in response. With a small sigh she again met her best friend's gaze. "It's just I feel a little stressed, that's all."

"Do you still feel guilty about that fight Joxer got in?" Xena asked skeptically.

"Well it was over me," the bard pointed out. "He would have never got hurt if I would have fought."

"Gabrielle, you chose to take that path again. We all accept that, and even if you hadn't, Joxer still would have stood up for you."

"It's just that everyone who's around me ends up hurt..." She paused. "Or worse," she added softly.

"That's not true. I'm still here. And so is Joxer, he has been hanging around us for years now, and he is still alive and well." Xena tried to comfort her friend. Yet unfortunately, by the look on her face, it wasn't effective.

"Xena, do you think we could try to relax for a day after this giant thing? Can't we just hide for a day?" She asked, a small smile forming on her lips with her last words.

"Gabrielle, tomorrow we were going to help with the peace treaty between-"

"I know... never mind." The bard cut her off, then grabbing her bag, walked up to her and tried to offer a smile. The warrior saw through it and sighed thoughtfully.

"Look," she began, touching Gabrielle's arm gently. "I will go and take care of the giant and the treaty. You take a few days off and meet me in Helice," Xena offered. The bard looked up at her friend, contemplating it. The dark-haired woman smiled and gave her a small reassuring squeeze. The blonde smiled back.

"Ok... don't have too much fun without me, though," she told her teasingly.

"Oh of course not. Unless..." She let her words drift off. Smiling, she gave Gabrielle a hug and handed her some dinars. "See you in a few days."

"Ok, bye." She waved at Xena as she jumped up on Argo and trotted off.

It was midday, and she lay in the soft grass of a clearing. She watched the clouds slowly drift by, and listened to the gentle summer breeze rustle through the trees. Such a beautiful day, Gabrielle thought as a few birds chirped nearby, yet all I can do is be stressed, and why am I even stressed? Because of Joxer standing up for me? He could have been hurt worse if it wasn't for Xena being there, all because of me. But it's more than that. I just don't know if this 'way' is going to work. Everyone has to protect me, and I am kind of sick of being passive. Couldn't I fight with a staff and still be peaceful? I wouldn't be killing anyone.

At her last thought, she remembered back to when she and Xena were at the Roman camp and she had killed to protect Xena. I lost my way then, she thought, but then after the Amazons had helped bring them back from the dead through a deal with Hades, they had healed and Gabrielle had decided to forget about the killing she did and go on with her way of love. That was well over two years ago and it was only getting harder. It was almost to the point where if she wanted to keep her way, it would mean leaving Xena.

Because wherever Xena was, there was trouble, and fighting. She couldn't expect everyone to protect her forever could she? And Joxer, she thought, I would have to stay away from him as well.

"Joxer the mighty, mater of mayhem, no one can beat him..."

No, Gabrielle thought as she heard the familiar voice. Not now, please, I can't deal with him now.

"Gabby? What are you doing here?" Joxer asked, spotting her."Where's Xena? I thought you guys were going to-"

"We were, I wanted some 'peace', so she's going alone." She cut him off, and emphasized the word peace, though she could see by the look on his irritatingly happy face that it had gone right over his head.

"What a great idea, yeah, peace sounds nice," he said, smiling as he sat beside her. Gabrielle rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Joxer, I was kind of wanting some quiet time to think," she told him, trying to tell him to go away without sounding harsh.

"Ok, no problem, Gabby," he said cheerfully. Gabrielle let out a sigh of relief. "I can be quiet, no you won't hear a peep from me." She closed her eyes and bit her tongue so she wouldn't lose patience, and yell at him. "Not a whisper. I'll just be sitting right here if you need me." He smiled at her. Stay calm, be nice, she told herself. Ok fine, she thought, as long as he is quiet, it will be fine. Relaxing again she looked back at the clouds, admiring there beauty as the carelessly drifted through the sky. She felt better already.

"Gabby?" Joxer whispered, and she ground her teeth. "Sorry to disturb you, but are you hungry, 'cause I am. Do you want something? There's a town nearby."

"Yes I want you to..." she paused and took a deep breath as she sat up. "Get me fruit." She finished in a softer tone. "There's some dinars in my bag, and take your time." She added, lying back down.

"Ok, I'll be back soon." He told her as he got up. "Oh, what kind do you want? Apples, or-"

"Just get some! I don't care what kind!" She snapped. With that Joxer smiled once more at her before leaving.

"By the Gods!" she sighed after he was out of earshot. "At least that will keep him busy awhile."

A little time had gone by and Gabrielle was finally able to think some more. Yet the quiet was short lived as Joxer cam running towards her, his armor clanging as he did. "Here you go... Gabby... I got you... some apples... and-"

"Just set them down," she told him. "I will eat them later. How did you get back so fast?"

"Oh... I ran," he told her, still catching his breath.

Figures, she thought.

"Ok, well just try to be quiet, ok? I have a headache now," she told him as she rubbed her temples. Joxer sat near her.

"You know a hot rag helps, I could boil some water for you," he offered.

"No thank you Joxer, I just want to rest," she replied weakly.

"Ok." Then there was silence and Gabrielle closed her eyes, not trying to think any longer, now just wanting to relax. A while passed and she was almost asleep, when Joxer spoke again.

"Hey Gabby, do you mind if I read one of your scrolls? I'm bored."

"No, go ahead. Just please leave me alone, ok? Can you do that?" she asked, getting more frustrated.

"Yeah," Joxer replied, sounding a bit sad. He got up and walked to where her bag lay in the grass. With every movement he made, his armor clanked together noisily, and then the sounds of rustling parchment.

Can't there just be silence? she asked herself silently.

Joxer answered, "Gabby, where's that one about the time I..." His words trailed off as he saw the look on Gabrielle's face. She now sat with a look that could kill. "Are you ok, Gabby? You look like you're stressed," he asked her softly.

"Stressed is a polite word for what I am right now!" she yelled. "All I want is some quiet! Is that too much to ask? I can't even think, for Zeus' sake!" She got up in one angry move, grabbed the bag away from him, and shuffled through it a moment. Pulling out a scroll she shoved it at him. "Here it is! The one about Bliss, right?" He nodded his head. "Good, take it! And take your fruit too! Just leave me alone! Go away! I don't want you here, ok?" He stood there in shock and stared at her. "Go! Get away from me!" she yelled louder. Joxer's face sank as he picked up his pack and left. Gabrielle watched him walked away. What did I do? she thought, I was too hard on him. She opened her mouth to call him back but it was too late, he had already disappeared into the trees. She sank to the ground, now feeling guilt for yelling at him.

Joxer walked closer to get a better look at the temple. It was nicely crafted, he mused. But at the moment he didn't care, instead he worried over why Gabrielle had gotten mad at him. What do I do? he thought with a frown.

A man coming out of the temple distracted him from his thoughts. He watched quietly as the priest walked to a nearby tree and picked fruit. Suddenly a hand touched his shoulder. Turning, he found Gabrielle standing there.

"Joxer, I'm... ah..." Gabrielle wasn't able to finished her sentence as she saw three men jump out at the priest. "Hey!" she yelled, walking closer. Turning to see her, the biggest one smiled.

"Look boys, it's Xena's little friend," he sneered.

"Yeah and no Xena either," the second added.

"Oh goody," the last chimed in. With big grins they all left the priest and started for her. They were about five paces away when the first spoke again.

"So where is your warrior to save you this time?" he mocked.

"Don't even think of touching her!" Joxer warned, stepping in front of Gabrielle to protect her. The man laughed.

"Out of my way, dirt-bag."

"No. You'll have to go through me to get to her," Joxer seethed, drawing his sword. The leader did the same.

"That can be arranged." His sword came at Joxer in a sideway blow and he was able to block it. Gabrielle used the distraction to see to the priest who had fainted. After seeing that he was ok she looked back at Joxer, just in time to see the brute pulling his sword from Joxer's stomach, and coming towards her. Gabrielle felt the rage inside at the sight of Joxer's body falling limply to the ground.

"Noooooo!!!!!" she screamed. Running towards them she half flew into the leader and knocked him to the ground, then standing she did a spin kick and planted her foot in another's face. Then after punching the last man in the jaw, she kneed him in the groin and watched him fall. Talking his sword she held it to the leader's throat. "I should kill you," she spit out. "Leave now, and if he dies you can count on yours being the next funeral." All three quickly scampered away, and Gabrielle ran to Joxer.

Dropping the sword she knelt beside him. "Joxer? Can you hear me?" she asked desperately as she caressed his cheek. She got no answer. "Joxer please wake up! Please!" She sobbed, "I knew this would happen. It's my fault."

Suddenly three women appeared before her, one old, one middle-aged, and one young. "What are you doing here?" Gabrielle asked. "Is this your temple?"

"Yes," replied the old one.

"You have saved our priest," the middle-aged one spoke.

"Claim your reward," the youngest of the Fates added.

"Reward?" Gabrielle asked. She looked back down at Joxer; he was losing blood fast. This never would have happened if he wasn't with me, she thought. Then looking up at the Fates, she let out a long breath. "I just wish he would have never met me!" she sobbed, and went to look at Joxer, but he was gone.

"Your wish has been granted."

"It is now as if Joxer,"

"Has never known you." One by one they disappeared and Gabrielle stared down to where Joxer had lain only moment before.

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