Rated: G
Summary: Joxer has a toothache and is driving Gabrielle up a wall.
Continuity: Mid-Season 5
Notes: Answer to Xedra's "Joxer has a toothache" challenge to the JFFG. Thanks to Sandy Fiebranz for the beta.

"Oh, it hurts so bad, Gabrielle! Please make it stop," the wannabe warrior moaned in pain.

Gabrielle was getting frustrated. Three days ago, Xena left to go help an old friend and she was supposed to meet up with her later, but on her way she ran into Joxer who insisted on coming along. The first day was okay - just the usual Joxer stuff. But on the second day while eating a pomegranate, a seed had gotten lodged in one of Joxer's teeth. The pain was excruciating. Joxer wouldn't stop moaning and Gabrielle was ready to climb up a wall. "Will you shut up?!" she yelled.

Joxer was stunned. "But... but... it hurts!" he stammered.

Gabrielle sighed heavily. "Joxer, I know it hurts but you're driving me crazy! I can't do anything about it."

"You could try having a little compassion for a change," Joxer mumbled.

"You're lucky I don't just put you out of your misery. Now shut up!"

Joxer didn't say anything else as they moved along, but moaned louder.

Gabrielle halted in the middle of the road, her already-thin patience at an end. "That's it! That tooth's coming out one way or another," she snarled.

"What are you going to do?"

Gabrielle looked through Horse's saddlebag, mumbling softly under her breath as she did so. "Here it is!" she exclaimed triumphantly as she pulled out a ball of string from the saddlebag.

Joxer eyed it with suspicion. "What are you going to do with that?"

"Pull out your bad tooth."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"It's either that or I kill you."

Joxer nodded. "All right," he acquiesced reluctantly.

Gabrielle came over and gave him the string. "Tie one end to that tooth," she instructed.

Joxer nodded as he tied the string to his tooth while Gabrielle tied the other end to Horse's saddle-horn and got ready to hit her on the rump. "Wait!" he yelped.

"Now what?" Gabrielle groaned, stopping her hand just in time.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Horse might drag me," Joxer pointed out.

Gabrielle sighed as she untied the string from Horse's saddle-horn. "So... What do you think we should do?"

"Find Xena and have her fix it."

"Joxer, we've got one more day before we meet up with Xena and I'm not sure if I can last that long, so that tooth is coming out one way or another."

"How..." Joxer never got a chance to finish what he was going to say because Gabrielle whirled around and gave him a solid kick in the face, knocking him cold. She then knelt down next to him and waited for him to regain consciousness.

"What in Tartarus happened?" Joxer asked blearily as he carefully sat up. He blinked a few times until his double-vision cleared.

"I got it out," Gabrielle replied as she rose to her feet and held the tooth out for him to look at. "No need to thank me. Are you okay?" She reached out to pull him to his feet, looked at his cheek carefully and frowned at the beginnings of a huge bruise already forming in the spot where she had left her mark. "I think you're gonna have a pretty nasty bruise, though."

Joxer stared down at the tooth in Gabrielle's hand then looked up and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for getting it out."

Gabrielle waved her hand in dismissal. "It was nothing, Joxer, really. Come on - let's go meet Xena." She smiled at him as she mounted Horse and had her go into a trot down the road.

Joxer followed gloomily behind her still holding his hand against his face because Gabrielle had kicked out the wrong tooth.

The End

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COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer, Horse, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2005 by Susan Owens and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.