Revenge is a Dish Best Served Hot, part 2
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by Susan Owens


The two horses raced across the mountains, flecks of white sweat on their coats. A couple of times, Thunder had to urge Argo onward. They stopped as he lifted up his head and sniffed the air.

Thunder saw Speckle calmly grazing in front of the farmhouse and the stallion whinnied anxiously. Speckle lifted up his head and saw that his two other companions were without their humans and he whinnied back. Amber, who was also grazing close by, snorted nervously when she saw them.

Joxer, who was finishing the last of his supper, stood up. "Hey, that sounds like Thunder! Xena and Jett must be here. I guess they changed their minds after all," he added in with a smile, which Gabrielle returned.

Joxer got up and went outside with Gabrielle and the others walked behind them. Gabrielle stopped and stared in alarm when she saw Thunder and Argo come down the hill with no riders on their backs. She grabbed Joxer by the arm. "Joxer, something's wrong!" she exclaimed.

Joxer nodded as he walked over and took Argo's reins. The golden mare whickered in greeting and butted her head against Joxer's chest, almost making him fall over. Gabrielle tried to get Thunder but he reared up and backed away from her.

"Gabrielle, get away from him before you get hurt!" ordered her father.

"It's okay, Dad." Gabrielle then gently and calmly talked to Thunder. "Easy, boy. It's okay. Shh."

Thunder's eyes got dark and he struck out at her, bellowing at the top of his lungs. Joxer pushed her to safety before she got hit by a front hoof. "Gabrielle, he's scared. Something really bad has happened to them!"

"Joxer, we've got to calm him down!" Gabrielle exclaimed. "Whatever on Gaia's green Earth possessed Jett to get such a bad-tempered horse in the first place, I'll never understand!"

Suddenly, Speckle whinnied and walked over to Thunder. The stallion struck out at Speckle, just hitting the gelding's flank. Speckle didn't even flinch at the contact. Instead, he leaned over and gently nibbled on the top of the upset stallion's neck right where it became the back. After doing this for a few moments, the gelding calmly lowered his head and grazed. Everyone stared in astonishment as Thunder slowly quieted down.

Gabrielle slowly approached Thunder and took his reins. "How on Earth did Speckle manage to do that?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, but somehow he knew it was the only way to calm Thunder," Herodotus replied. "Gabrielle, take them into the barn to cool down. Joxer, check on Speckle to see if that beast did any harm when his hoof hit that flank."

Joxer nodded and walked over to Speckle to check him over, Amber hovering next to them while Gabrielle took Argo and Thunder to the barn. As she walked inside, she got more and more worried over what could've possibly happened to Xena and Jett.


Thorn lay next to Xena, smiling at her. "I can't wait to have you in my arms. Are you ready for the biggest thrill of your life?"

The biggest thrill in my life would be to run my chakram through that fat stomach of yours, you sick bastard! Xena thought to herself, keeping still, even though her arms and wrists were still bound together securely behind her back. She purred in his ear, "I could do much better if you untied me."

Thorn's eyebrow rose suspiciously. "Do you promise not to try anything?"

Xena kept her face expressionless as she stared up at the warlord. "Yes, you have my word."

Thorn was excited as he quickly untied her. "Now for my prize," he gloated as she rose up to a sitting position.

Xena's arms shot out like lightning as she reached out and gave him the pinch. Thorn gagged as he grasped at his throat, trying to catch his breath. Xena stood up and grinned wickedly. "See you around, Thorn." She had just made it a couple of paces outside the tent when she suddenly felt a sharp pain on her neck and fell down to the ground in a heap. She had no feeling at all in her body. She saw Ali standing before her but couldn't move or speak.

Ali went inside the tent and shook his head at his master gasping for air. He then ran over to Thorn's side and quickly removed Xena's pinch just as blood began trickling from the warlord's nose.

Thorn caught his breath, rose to his feet, lumbered outside the tent, and stood over Xena. Ali followed a short distance behind the warlord. "You stupid, stupid, bitch! How dare you! Oh, you'll pay for this, believe me!" he hissed, wiping the blood away from his face. He made a motion towards Ali, who bowed once, turned around, stepped over Xena's body, and walked away from the warlord's tent.

Xena's eyes widened in sudden horrified realization as Thorn strode over to her, picked up her feet and roughly dragged her back inside his tent and over to his bedroll, where he shoved her onto it. He towered over her for a moment before he fell forward to straddle over her, grunting when his knees hit the ground. "You may not feel this to enjoy it, but I'll enjoy it immensely, believe me," he said as he reached for the laces that held his pants up.

Oh Gods... NO! Xena thought wildly, unsuccessfully willing her body to make any kind of movement possible. Desperate, she even tried to call out for help, but no sound ever fell from her lips.


Jett paced back and forth in the hole, his blood boiling as rage ran through him. "Hey! You up there! Let me out!"

Balto looked down inside the hole with a bored expression on his face. "What's the matter, little man? Feeling a bit lonely down there?" he asked with a sneer on his lips.

"Who are you calling a little man? Why don't you come down here and say that to my face, you jackass! And when are you gonna feed me?" Jett shouted up to Balto in his raspiest voice.

Balto bit down on the piece of fruit he was eating and threw the rest down to Jett. "Pig," he remarked casually as he walked away.

Jett looked at the dirt-covered piece of fruit then leaned against the side of the hole to think. He wondered if Joxer and Gabrielle had made it safely to Poteidaia, or if they had been captured too and were being held somewhere else in the camp. His eyes widened with worry as his thoughts then turned to Xena.


Gabrielle came back outside and watched as Joxer checked Speckle out. "Is he okay?"

Joxer nodded. "Yeah, he seems fine." Speckle snorted in agreement and happily restarted grazing.

"Joxer, something's wrong. Thunder and Argo came here to find help."

Joxer looked towards the barn where Thunder and Argo were cooling down from their journey and frowned. "Maybe Thunder threw Jett," he mused.

Gabrielle shook her head in disagreement. "No. I don't think so, Joxer. Jett can handle that devil-tempered horse pretty well. Besides, even if Thunder threw Jett, why wouldn't Xena and Argo be with him to make sure that he was all right first? Then, she'd go after Thunder once she found out that he was all right - and Jett would probably be with her, too."

Joxer nodded. "Good points," he said.

Gabrielle sighed and rubbed her chin, thinking quickly. "Those two horses somehow managed to catch Speckle and Amber's scents and they tracked them down. Something is very wrong here. I think we've got to go back where we left them. Could you bring Amber back to the barn with Speckle? Get them ready to leave while I tell my parents and Lila that we're going back to the camp to check things out." She looked up at the sky. "I don't know how far we'll be able to get. We're going to lose the light soon," she remarked.

Joxer nodded as he took the two horses' reins and began leading them to the barn to get ready to leave.


Thorn rolled off Xena and sighed heavily in satisfaction. He then turned to gaze at Xena, his small eyes taking in her slim, paralyzed form. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" he asked with a leer.

Xena glared at him silently. Thorn smirked as he continued with a, "I see that it was." He stood up slowly and finished tying up the front of his pants. "I'll be back, Xena," he finished, winking down at her. He hurried to the flap of the tent and called out, "Ali! Ali! Come here now!"

Ali entered the tent. "Yes, my Master?"

"Is everything ready?"

"Yes."

"Good. We'll be ready in a few minutes."

Ali bowed. "Yes, Master."

Thorn then turned back to the still-paralyzed and silent Xena. "I lied to you. I'm gonna have your boyfriend killed after all. Ali will fight him to the death. Oh, I just love those kinds of fights and I can see by your eyes you still do too."

Xena's eyes sparkled with rage at the gloating warlord's words. When I get out of this, Thorn, YOU'RE DEAD! she thought to herself.

Thorn walked from the tent, calling over his shoulder to Ali, "Bring Xena so she can watch!"

Ali moved over and picked up Xena. Unceremoniously, he flung her over his shoulder and followed Thorn from the tent.


Jett stared as a rope was lowered down and watched as a tall and very muscular woman slid down it. She said nothing as she grabbed him before he could move and threw him over her shoulder. She then made her way back up the rope. The rest of the tribe jeered and crowed while Jett's cheeks burned in humiliation.

Balto, who had thrown the fruit down to him earlier, was the worst of the lot. "Little man needs his mama to carry him around! No, wait! Not a little man. A baby..." he said with a cruel laugh. The others took up the cry, jeering and pointing at Jett in the woman's arms.

Jett tried his best to break loose of the woman's grip but she was much stronger than him and threw him onto the ground. She smirked down at him before walking away. Jett lay on the ground, stunned. The men of the tribe started poking at him with their lances.

"Enough! The Master doesn't want him harmed yet!" They all stopped as Thorn and Ali appeared.

Jett looked up and saw that Ali carried Xena over his shoulder. But what caught his breath was that he saw that her body was completely limp and unmoving. Jett could tell that Xena was trying her best to speak but she couldn't. Her ice-blue eyes, however, spoke volumes. "What did you do to Xena?" he demanded, watching as Xena was roughly placed on the ground and propped up against a large rock so that she looked like she was sitting.

Thorn walked up to him. "That's none of your concern." He gazed at the chained man on the ground for a few moments before he spoke again. "So... Jett, the King of Assassins. We meet again."

"Look, you fat and sweaty bastard! If we had ever met, you wouldn't be standing here in the first place!" Jett snarled. He spit on the warlord's boots.

Thorn quickly moved away from Jett and motioned for him to be unchained. He watched as Jett was forced to his feet and his bonds were removed. "We met before in Athens. You killed my brother, Theodoros."

Jett rubbed his wrists to get the circulation going in them again while he stared at the portly warlord for a long time. "Yes, I remember that," he said slowly. "It was with an ax to the back of his head, I believe."

Thorn's already ugly face grew uglier as he stared at Jett with open hatred in his piggish little eyes. "Yes, that's right. Now I'm going to have Ali kill you as revenge for his death."

"Why don't you try to kill me yourself, you fat coward? What kind of hold do you have over these people so that they call you Master and obey your every whim?" Jett snapped.

Thorn said nothing and motioned silently to Ali as he walked away.

Ali tossed a strange weapon at Jett. It was a curved sword with the cutting edge along the inner side. Jett stared at it with a frown. He was an expert in many weapons from his days as an assassin, but he had never seen anything like this before. "What kind of weapon is this?"

"My people call this a falcatta. Others call it a kopis. Don't let its size fool you. It's quite capable of creating lots of damage," Ali told him with a wide and calculating grin.

Jett stared at it. "I have no idea how to use this," he muttered.

"Too bad, I do!" replied Ali as he charged Jett, who just managed to avoid the taller and heavily built man by jumping out of the way, dropping and rolling to the ground. Ali snarled and circled Jett as he jumped back to his feet, brandishing the weapon before him.

"Look, you have me at a disadvantage. I thought your people fought with honor! What kind of honor is this?" Jett taunted.

Ali stopped his circling and stared at Jett, a sneer curling his upper lip. "If you can use a regular sword, little man, you can use a falcatta. It's used the same way, but it's the person's skill that makes the weapon work and you're an assassin. Hand to hand combat isn't exactly your style, is it?" Ali finished with an evil grin.

Jett held the weapon in his hand. It felt awkward and unbalanced in his grip. As he looked down at it, his face turned deathly pale. A vision of him stabbing Joxer while under Discord's control suddenly swam before his eyes and he faltered a little, lowering the blade slightly as he pictured the sword that Xena had gotten his brother for Solstice entering Joxer's flesh. The look in Joxer's eyes as he fell forward... That act still haunted him in his dreams, even though he knew it wasn't his fault. Stop it! Now's not the time to lose it, you idiot! he chided himself. His nostrils flared and he lifted his head up to stare at the tall, dark warrior facing him.

"JUST KILL THE NO-GOOD BASTARD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Thorn hollered from the safety of the sidelines.

Keiko moved over to stand next to Xena. "My husband will kill him. He's never lost in a fight with the falcatta, and your man doesn't look all that strong," she observed softly as she knelt down next to the paralyzed woman.

Xena was unable to respond, but she knew that Keiko was right. Jett didn't have a chance - and there was nothing that she could do to help him.


Ali circled Jett and suddenly moved forward with a slicing motion. His falcatta cut Jett's tunic to pieces but he didn't cut Jett. Thorn was getting angry. "Will you just kill him already?" he yelled.

Jett looked down at his tunic and growled, "Hey! That was a gift from a friend!" He managed to give Ali a kick that put him off balance but it wasn't hard or long enough. Ali swung his falcatta by the blunt side of the blade and caught Jett on the side of the head. Jett fell down to the ground, unconscious.

The warrior looked down at his victim then up at his Master. "If I kill him now, what fun is that? I think it would be better if I weaken him for you, Master. Then you would have the thrill of killing him yourself," Ali suggested.

Thorn thought about that and liked it a lot. "Yes! Yes! I should be the one to kill him. Take him back to the prison hut and take that so- called Warrior Princess with you. She no longer pleases me. I will kill them both tomorrow night."

Ali clapped his hands and his men immediately obeyed him. Even though she couldn't move, Xena noticed that Ali's men obeyed him and not Thorn. She silently wondered why Ali was obeying Thorn's commands. Ali's wife was with him, rather than her being Thorn's captive, so there was no reason why the tribesman was obeying him that she could see. Ali was also much stronger than Thorn as well. Xena's eyes suddenly widened as she realized something - a child was somehow involved.

Keiko touched Xena's forearm. "I'm giving you the antidote but you must not try anything. My husband will kill you before you could move."

Keiko then gave Xena the antidote and it took a few minutes for it to work. Ali roughly helped Xena up and then gave her to Balto. "Take her to the prison hut with the weakling, but do not harm her or I will kill you."

Balto nodded as he pulled Xena along towards the prison hut. She kept tripping and she hated the fact that the drug that had been given to her had rendered her so helpless. Her voice still was not back, but she was able to kick weakly at Balto's legs. He simply ignored her attempts. He unceremoniously threw her inside the hut, where she landed so that her face scraped the ground. She slowly lifted up her head and gazed at Jett, who was just coming to. She saw that not only did he have the beginnings of a nasty bump on his forehead, but there was an ugly purplish-green bruise starting to appear on his pale skin.

"Oh man, my head." Jett carefully touched the side of his head where he was hit, winced in pain, and looked at Xena blearily. "Are you okay? Gods, you look terrible."

Xena gave him a weak smile then pointed at her mouth.

"You can't speak yet?"

She nodded.

Jett's dark eyes narrowed. "Did that bastard hurt you?" he asked softly.

She shook her head but her eyes said something different.

Jett's jaw worked. "I'm gonna kill him," he muttered.

She placed her hand on Jett's shoulder then shook her head.


The two riders rode into the campsite where they had last seen and left Xena and Jett. Gabrielle dismounted and looked around the perimeter. "I wonder what happened," she said softly.

Joxer dismounted from Speckle and joined Gabrielle. "Someone must have taken them but whoever it was had to have been very clever to have gotten them. Well, at least Xena."

"No, they had to be really clever to get Jett too. You know how hard it is to sneak up on him," Gabrielle said as she looked around, running her hands through her hair. "Come on. Let's go down to the river. Maybe there are some clues there."

Gabrielle turned around and saw that Joxer was already heading in that direction. When they got down to the riverbank, Joxer bent down at the dishes lying in a neat pile. "Well, whatever happened, they got the dishes done first."

Gabrielle nodded. "It's getting too dark to look for them, Joxer. We'll have to search for them tomorrow."

Joxer's eyes widened at Gabrielle's words. "What if tomorrow is too late?" he whispered.

Gabrielle reached out and gently put her hands on Joxer's shoulders. "Joxer, I don't like this any more than you do, but neither of us can track during the night."

Joxer hung his head. "I know. I just wish this was over with."

Gabrielle moved closer and wrapped her arms around Joxer in an embrace. "I do too, but we'll find them. We just have to," she replied. Joxer didn't say another word, but simply closed his eyes and returned the hug.


Jett sat on the floor and stared at Xena in silence. His face seemed emotionless, but his dark eyes sparkled with worry.

"Would...you...please...stop...doing...that..." Xena said in a low whisper, her voice slowly beginning to return.

"Oh! Uh.... Sorry." Jett stood up and walked over to the door of the hut. He could see the faint shadow of two large guards standing outside the doorway, lances in hand. "They're going to kill us. You know that," he said quietly.

Xena shook her head. "I don't...think...Ali...really...wants...to...hurt...us..."

"Yeah! Right! You could've fooled me," Jett replied scornfully.

Xena shook her head. "There's...more...to...this...than...meets...the...eye."

Jett turned back around, walked over, and sat back down in front of Xena. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Xena sighed a little before she spoke again. This time, her voice was much stronger, but her speech was slow. "Ali could've...killed you, but he chose...not to. He gave Thorn a...cotton bull story about weakening you for him...instead."

Jett rubbed the side of his head and hissed when he accidentally touched the bump on his head. "Well, with another blow like that and he will."

Xena frowned as she spoke slowly, but clearly and without long pauses. "I think that there's a child involved. I think that Thorn has Ali and Keiko's child and the tribe has decided to cooperate in order for the child to be returned safely."

"Why do you think that?"

"Jett, think about it! Ali is twice that pig's size. If Thorn didn't have their child, why on Gaia's green earth would Ali listen to him?" Xena slowly stood up. "We've got to find a way out of here and find that child before Thorn hurts him or her."


Joxer, who had spent a restless night trying to sleep but kept waking up from nightmares he had during the night, was up before dawn. He turned over, fully expecting to find Gabrielle still sleeping at his side, but to his surprise, she already was up and gone. He rose to his feet and quickly ran down to the river's edge. "Gabrielle! Gabrielle!" he called out, looking around frantically.

"I'm over here, Joxer!"

Joxer looked over in the direction that he heard Gabrielle's voice coming from and saw her by the waterfall. He hurried over to her side. "Did you find anything?"

The bard looked up at him, a frown creasing her forehead. "I found this." She held up a little dart. Joxer reached for it but she pulled it away from his grasp. "Be careful. It could still have some type of drug on it," she warned softly.

"Or poison," Joxer replied, biting his lower lip.

Gabrielle looked up at him, not wanting to think about that. She turned around and walked over to the riverbank. "Come here. I spotted some footprints that got dried by the sun when the river let out. By the size of them, it looks like they were big men too." She looked up towards the mountain. "I'd bet that it's more than likely they headed that way."

Joxer nodded, trusting Gabrielle's instincts. Together, they mounted their steeds and started out towards the mountain.

The sun was high by the time they found the place. Joxer hid behind a thick wall of bushes as he took his first glance at the campsite. He saw that it was full of people going about their daily business. Joxer noticed a tall, dark, and powerful-looking man standing by a tent and two more men were standing before a hut's doorway. He saw that they held lances in their hands.

Gabrielle came back from making sure that Amber and Speckle weren't going to be spotted and knelt next to Joxer. "I'm sure that's where they are, but where could they be?"

Joxer pointed towards the hut where the two men were standing. "I figure that they're in the hut with the two guards."

Gabrielle nodded in agreement as she gazed in the direction that Joxer indicated. "Yeah, you could be right about that. But how do we get to them?"

"I could attack one of the guards from behind and take his place while you create a distraction."

"Joxer, that's a great idea, but there are just a couple of problems with that. You're too pale - and you don't exactly fit those men's body types."

Joxer's face fell. "Yeah, that's true. Well, what do you suggest?"

"I don't know, but we've got to think of something. What would Xena do?"

"Xena's not here! She and Jett need our help, so think of something."

Gabrielle's eyes lit up. "That's it, Joxer! You're a genius!"

Joxer's dark brown eyes grew wide as he stared at the bard. "What? What did I say?"

"You can go down there and pretend to be Jett! They'll wonder how you escaped and I can rescue Xena and Jett!" Gabrielle exclaimed softly.

Joxer frowned. "That's a lousy idea! They'll figure things out the minute one of them tries to fight with me. I've gotten a little better with all of you helping me, but I'll never be at Jett's skill level."

"Well, do you have a better idea then, Mighty One?" Gabrielle crossed her arms over her chest.

"As a matter of fact, I do."

"Okay, let's hear it then."

"I can be a trader and you can be my slave," Joxer suggested.

Gabrielle thought about that for a moment before replying with, "I like that. The problem is that nobody's going to believe you're a trader. They'd believe that I was one though."

"Hey! I'd make a good trader!" Joxer exclaimed indignantly.

"Joxer, lower your voice!" Gabrielle reached out and put a hand over Joxer's upper arm. "Listen, I'm not trying to insult you, but you're just not the slave trader type! You can't look mean if you tried, but your pale skin would make you a good slave," she pointed out.

Joxer glared at her and his lips pursed up in a pout. "It's humiliating for a man of my status to be a slave! For crying out loud, you're an Amazon! I should be the slave trader simply because of that. Besides, I really don't think they'd believe that a woman was a slave trader, much less an Amazon slave trader!" he retorted, remembering to keep his voice low this time when he spoke.

Gabrielle shook her head and sighed. She knew that Joxer wouldn't budge once he had his mind made up about the idea and time was too precious to argue about it all day long either. "All right, already! You can be the slave trader!" she exclaimed. Gabrielle gripped Joxer's arm for a moment and continued with a soft, "But Joxer, please be careful!"

Joxer gazed at Gabrielle seriously. "I will. C'mon. We have to make sure that you look like an Amazon that I just caught," he said, turning around and walking back towards their campsite.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes but said nothing. The things we do for love... she thought to herself as she followed a couple of paces behind Joxer.


Ali and his men were eating when a tall, lanky, and pale-skinned man walked into camp pulling behind a short yet muscular blonde and very angry-looking Amazon behind him. Ali's eyes widened in shock as he recognized who he thought was Jett. He stood up and stormed over to them, placing a blade under Joxer's chin. "How did you escape?" he snarled.

Joxer managed to keep his composure and slowly pushed the blade away. "Escape? Sir, I believe that you've mistaken me for someone else. My name is Orion and I am but a simple slave trader and I have this fine woman to sell."

Joxer pulled Gabrielle forward so Ali could get a better look at her. "She's not very tall, is she? Can she cook?" the tribesman asked curiously.

"She's an Amazon cook. Cooking is her life, my good man!" Joxer bluffed easily.

Gabrielle gave Joxer an evil-eyed glare, as per the little story she and Joxer had worked out before coming into the warlord's campsite, but said nothing. So far, so good, she thought to herself.


Jett jumped towards the door when he heard Joxer's voice, as did Xena. "Oh, Gods... Why are they here? If they give Gabrielle what they gave me, then.... Oh Gods... Not Gabrielle..." Xena gasped as she grabbed Jett's arm. "We've got to get out of here!"


Ali took Gabrielle and Joxer to see Thorn. "Master, this slave trader wants to speak to you."

Thorn looked up at Joxer and his eyes widened in surprise. "How did he escape?" he demanded.

"He's not the assassin, my Master. I had one of my men check. He's still inside the prisoner's hut with Xena. He's just a look-alike," Ali explained.

Thorn got up and moved around Joxer suspiciously. "What's your name, boy?" he sneered.

Joxer bowed low. "I am Orion, O Great Warlord," he murmured, his nostrils flaring out in disgust as he got a good whiff of the warlord's lack of personal hygiene.

"Hmph!" Thorn then moved around Gabrielle, inspecting her. "Not very tall, is she?" he asked finally.

I'll give you 'not very tall', you smelly pig! Gabrielle fumed silently.

"No, Master, but she was an Amazon cook," Joxer explained.

"I've heard that Amazons make great dishes. Have her prepare something, and you, Orion, must join me for supper."

Joxer bowed low again. "I would be most honored."

Thorn's eyebrow rose up in curiosity. "Tell me: does looking like the King of Assassins come in handy?"

"It does indeed, sir. No one bothers me."

Ali took Gabrielle's rope and led her over to the ovens and food preparation area to create dishes for Thorn and "Orion's" dinner, while Thorn clapped a hand over Joxer's shoulders and led him to his hut. Oh, this is great! Now what? I just hope that Joxer knows what he's doing, Gabrielle thought anxiously as she stared down at some vegetables.

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