Part Two, continued

Joxer rode into town on Sugar and searched everywhere for some chocolate. But each place he went to, he was told they had no chocolate. Joxer began to feel sick in his stomach. Gabrielle would be upset if she didn't get her chocolate - very upset. He remembered what had happened last week when she got upset and he shuddered. He and Xena were still repairing the damage she made in Cyrene's pantry when she couldn't find something she wanted.

Joxer wasn't sure what to do until he realized that there was only thing he could do. He hoped that Aphrodite would give him some chocolate if she had any - and if he groveled sufficiently enough for her, he thought to himself with a soft groan. So, he rode out to a nearby meadow where he found some beautiful flowers. After picking her a huge bouquet, he re-mounted Sugar and headed to Aphrodite's temple.

Joxer entered Aphrodite's temple and saw a huge bowl of chocolates left on the altar as an offering to the Goddess. "Aphrodite!" he called, his voice echoing in the empty temple as he knelt down to place his offering next to the bowl. "Aphrodite?" He called her name several times, but there was no answer. Joxer moaned, "Oh, great! Now what do I do?"

Joxer stared at the chocolate longingly, thinking to himself. Maybe she won't miss a small piece. After all, it's for Gabrielle. He stood before the altar, wondering what he should do. He knew that even thinking about stealing was wrong - and stealing from a God or Goddess was even worse. I can't do it - and I can't go back to Gabrielle empty-handed! What am I gonna do? He sat down on the altar stairs and covered his face with his hands. Suddenly, a shower of golden sparkles and pink flowers rained about him. Joxer looked up just in time to see Aphrodite appear before him with her hands on her hips and scowling at him.

"Hi Aphrodite," Joxer mumbled, his eyes dropping to the floor.

The Goddess tapped her slippered foot on the floor. "Studmuffin, I am way disappointed with you! How could you even think of taking the goods? You so know better than that!" she scolded.

Joxer sighed, looking absolutely miserable. "I know, Aphrodite, and I'm sorry! It's just that..."

"Just what? Spill!" the Goddess demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"It's just that Gabrielle's been having these awful mood swings! One minute, she's perfectly fine and the next minute, she's crazy. Then she gets these weird cravings. Last week, it was cherries and sour pickles, but it had to be this type of cherry and that type of pickle - and you can only buy it from this stand! So far this week, it's been sardines and now it's chocolate! I remember when Xena was pregnant with Eve and I knew that Gabrielle would get like this, but I just don't know what to do! I try to help her feel better and everything goes wrong," Joxer confessed, the words coming fast and furious from his lips.

"I can't go home empty-handed because I'm afraid of what she'll do - and I don't want to disappoint Gabrielle either. I love her too much." He slumped down in his seat. "And you know, there's something else that's bothering me. I can't stop thinking that Arose is hiding something from me. I don't know why, but I just do." Aphrodite said nothing and he hung his head as he rose to his feet. "I'm sorry. I'll think of something else to give Gabrielle."

Joxer started to go down the stairs when Aphrodite held up her hand. "Hold it! Just a minute, Studmuffin! Park that bodacious butt of yours on those stairs. You're not going anywhere until I say so!" Joxer yelped in surprise when he felt something push him back down on the stone steps and he yelped again as his backside landed on the stairs with a loud thump. The Goddess snapped her fingers and reappeared next to him. She daintily crossed her legs and stared at him for a minute before shaking her head. "You're really miserable, huh?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. I just feel so bad that I can't help her feel better. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of our lives and I feel like all I do is screw everything up," Joxer replied, running his fingers through his hair.

"Sweet cheeks, it's called hormone overdrive. There's not too much you can do about it," Aphrodite told him. "Believe me, Miss Bard appreciates what you're doing, even if she doesn't always show it."

"You think so?" Joxer asked, his face brightening a little.

"Studmuffin, I like know so! Hello, Goddess of Love sitting next to you!" Aphrodite exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Listen, since I don't want to see you turned into Joxer-Kebabs 'cuz I like you and all that, I'll help you out by giving you a bit of the good stuff sitting in the bowl."

Joxer's beautiful, goofy grin emerged. "Thank you! Thank..." The smile disappeared and his eyes grew wary. "What's the catch?"

Aphrodite giggled and tossed her blonde curls back. "Well, you didn't think I'd let you get off scot-free for thinking those totally grody thoughts, did you?"

Joxer shook his head fiercely and screwed his eyes shut. "Go ahead. Give me your best shot," he mumbled. "I deserve it."

"Whoa! Martyr complex much?" the Goddess exclaimed as she rose to her feet and stood in front of him. "Sheesh! Give me a little bit of credit, huh? It's not like you actually did the dirty deed!" she whined, stamping her foot on the ground.

Joxer cautiously opened one eye and looked up at Aphrodite. "So, what are going to do to me?"

"Just you wait!" Aphrodite exclaimed and snapped her fingers. The next thing Joxer knew, he found he was sitting on a small stool in a large room, decorated in different shades of pink. He gulped nervously as he took in the new surroundings. Aphrodite stood in front of him and crinkled her nose appealingly. "Studmuffin, it's not what I'm going to do to you! It's what you're going to do for me," she giggled.

Joxer's jaw dropped open and the Goddess rolled her eyes. "Puh-leeze! Not like that, you goofball!" She snapped her fingers and a small table that contained lotions, towels, strangely shaped bottles filled with what looked like brightly colored paint, small files, two very oddly shaped items that had curves cut into them and clippers appeared at Joxer's right side. She snapped her fingers again and a footbath filled with warm water and bubbles appeared between the two of them.

"This is one Goddess who likes to be pampered, Studmuffin," Aphrodite said as she sat down, kicked her slippers away and placed her feet on his knees, wiggling her toes. She watched in silent amusement when Joxer's nostrils suddenly flared out at what he thought was the not-so Goddess-like 'stench' of her feet. Sorry Joxie babe, but you have to learn your lesson. To Joxer's credit, he quickly covered his gagging with a coughing fit. She then slid her feet into the footbath. "And one of the best ways to do that is with a pedicure!"

An hour later, Joxer had washed (only gagging slightly), dried and massaged the Goddess of Love's feet with rose-scented lotion. He then clipped, filed and painted her toenails in a shocking hot pink shade. This proved a bit difficult at first, as Joxer managed to get more polish on Aphrodite's toes than toenails before he figured out how to work the small paintbrush. "You know, Studmuffin, you actually didn't do a bad job!" she exclaimed in surprise, admiring Joxer's handiwork when he finished applying a clear coat of polish. "If you weren't already taken, I'd keep you for myself. You give a totally awesome foot rub!" She giggled as Joxer's face turned beet-red.

Aphrodite snapped her fingers and the two of them stood in the altar room. "Okay, let me get you some chocolate for the Terminally Hormonal One," she said. A small pink pouch appeared in her hand and she leaned over to place some chocolates in the bag. Making sure that Joxer couldn't see what she was doing, she pointed a finger at the bowl and a gentle spray of golden sparkles rained over the candy. Maybe this will calm the savage beast down. Poor Studmuffin. He looks like he's been run through the mill. She stifled a giggle, placed some chocolate in the pouch and closed it tight. She turned around and rewarded Joxer with a gorgeous grin. "Here you go!"

"Thank you so much, Aphrodite!" Joxer exclaimed gratefully.

"Yeah, yeah! Whatever! Now scoot before she decides that you've abandoned her and comes looking for you with her sharp pointy knives!" Aphrodite waved her arms at him, shooing him away. Joxer gulped, nodded, and quickly left the temple, thanking her profusely as he exited. She placed her hands on her hips and shook her head, sighing as she heard him ride away. "Well, let's see what you brought me. You always come with nice stuff - and no fish!" she said, wrinkling her nose at the offerings left earlier in the day. She turned around and picked up the huge bouquet of flowers Joxer had picked for her earlier. "Cool! Nice color choices," she said in approval before delicately sniffing the bouquet. "Mmmm! Yummy!" she cried, squealing with delight. She snapped her fingers and left the temple in a rain of red rose petals. The bowl of chocolate accompanied her exit.

"Where is he?" Gabrielle yelled at the top of her lungs and then began crying in earnest. Cyrene and Xena exchanged glances and rolled their eyes.

"Mommy, Gabby sad?" Eve asked.

"No. She's tired, sweetie," Xena reassured Eve softly. She turned around when she heard hurried footsteps heading towards the tavern and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Joxer enter, carrying a small pink pouch. She stormed over to him, blue eyes flashing. "Where in Hades have you been? She's been like this for the last half-hour!" she hissed under her breath. She noticed the small pink pouch and her face turned to stone. "Joxer..." she began, a warning note in her voice.

"I didn't steal it, Xena! Aphrodite gave it to me. I just had to do a favor for her first!" Joxer replied in a harsh whisper. And what a favor it was. Phew! he thought silently, wrinkling his nose at the memory. It could have been worse, though.

Xena's face softened and then turned anxious. "All right! Now go over there and give her that chocolate before she decides to tear up something else in here!" she whispered, clapping his back and propelling him forward a couple of steps.

Joxer walked over to Gabrielle with a worried look on his face. "Gabrielle? Are you all right?"

Gabrielle looked up to see Joxer gazing down at her and holding a small pink pouch in his hand. "Where have you been?" she sniffed, wiping her cheeks.

"I got you the chocolate you asked for, honey," Joxer replied softly. "See?" He opened the pouch and the delicious scent drifted towards her nose.

Gabrielle's eyes widened in delight and she snatched the bag from him. "I love you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She reached up and kissed him before she stuck her hand in the bag and popped a piece in her mouth. She closed her eyes and sighed ecstatically as the chocolate melted in her mouth. "Oh, this is wonderful!" she murmured.

"Another disaster diverted," Cyrene mumbled, sighing in relief. "I don't know how much more this poor tavern can take."

"Or Joxer," Xena nodded in agreement, watching Gabrielle eat.

Cyrene laughed. "Well, I have to see about supper." Xena nodded as her mother went out back into the kitchen area.

Joxer watched anxiously as Gabrielle slowly ate the chocolate, savoring the taste in her mouth. He noticed that she was calming down as she kept eating - like all was well with the world - until she jumped in surprise. "Gabrielle, are you all right?" he asked with a worried note in his voice.

Gabrielle smiled widely at her husband. "Joxer, come here please." She patted the place beside her and Joxer sat down. Gabrielle took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "Do you feel that, Joxer?"

Joxer felt a movement underneath Gabrielle's just beginning to bulge tummy and his eyes widened in surprise and then in wonder. "Yeah, I do feel it. One of the babies is moving. Oh Gabrielle!" he whispered.

Gabrielle laughed. "Yes he is."

Joxer smiled at that. "It could be Irene moving, you know," he laughed when he felt another kick underneath his hand.

"Yeah, but I bet Darien is more restless." She stopped and ate another piece of the chocolate. "Joxer, would you like a piece?"

"No thanks, Gabrielle. I break out in hives, remember?"

"I'm sorry, Joxer! I forgot." Gabrielle turned around and smiled at Eve. "Hey Evie, would you like a piece?"

Eve looked up at her mother. "May I have a piece, Mommy?"

Xena thought for a moment. Her instincts told her that Aphrodite somehow managed to put a spell on the chocolate. "No, Eve. It's almost time for supper, and I don't want you to spoil your appetite."

"Aw, Xena! One little bit won't hurt her. I want to share my chocolate with the whole world and Joxer's allergic. Just a tiny piece?" Gabrielle pleaded.

Xena was about to say no again until a soft wind blew from the window. "Don't worry about the kiddo eating a piece, Xena. The tranquility mojo I worked only affects Miss Bard," Aphrodite's voice echoed in her ear. Xena's left eyebrow rose. "I'm not kidding! All of you deserve a bit of a break, don't you think?" The voice took on a distinctively petulant tone.

Xena's lips curled up slightly. "All right, one piece," she relented.

"Radical!" Aphrodite giggled and then Xena no longer felt the Goddess' presence.

Gabrielle's face lit up. "Oh, great! Here, Eve. This is so delicious!"

Eve thanked Gabrielle, took a small piece and placed it in her mouth. "Mmmmm... Good. Thank you, Gabby."

"You're welcome, Evie."

Xena looked at the happy couple. "Hey so you two have the names already picked out, huh?"

They both turned in Xena's direction. "Yes," replied Joxer. "Irene and Darien."

"They are fine names but what if you have two boys or two girls?"

Gabrielle stared at Joxer. "Joxer, I never thought of that! We need more names!"

Joxer nodded. "Okay, but what?"

Xena shook her head. " Come on, Joxer! You've got to know more names."

Gabrielle's eyes lit up. "Xena, can you give us a name?"

"Well... Hmm, let me think. How about Zoe for a girl and Andreaus for a boy?" Xena suggested.

Joxer and Gabrielle smiled. "I like that, Xena. What do you think, Joxer?"

"They are fine names. So, if they're both boys Darien and Andreaus."

"And," finished Gabrielle, "if they are girls Irene and Zoe."

Xena smiled in agreement. "They are all fine names."

Cyrene came from the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. "Supper's ready. I hope you're all good and hungry!"

Gabrielle bolted to her feet. "Are you kidding? I'm starving!" She grabbed Joxer's hand and pulled him up. "Come on, Joxer. Hurry up! I'm eating for three now."

As Gabrielle and Joxer went into the dining room, Xena looked at Cyrene. "Did you make enough?"

Cyrene thought for a moment before she answered. "Gods, I think I did!"

"Let's hope you did, Mom. I don't think you want a repeat performance of last week."

"Xena, maybe we should confiscate her sais until after the twins are born," Cyrene murmured as they walked into the dining room.

"The question is: how do we get them away without her completely going berserk?" Xena replied. Cyrene sighed and shook her head. "Was I this bad when I was pregnant with Eve?" She saw the look on her mother's face. "Never mind. Forget that I even asked that!"

Gabrielle looked around the table, frowning. She kept pushing plates of food away. Joxer watched her. Now what was wrong? he wondered, starting to bite his nails.

"Gabrielle, are you looking for something in particular?" Cyrene asked.

"Yes! Cyrene, where's the raw eel I asked for?"

"I knew I forgot to put something on the table! I'll be right back!" Cyrene hurried into the kitchen and came back with a bowl filled with raw eels and placed it down before the ravenous bard.

"Great! Thanks!" Gabrielle smiled, licked her lips in anticipation, took an eel from the bowl and began eating. "Mmph! Delicious!" she mumbled between bites.

Joxer looked at her eating the eel and he swallowed hard, biting down on his lower lip as his stomach began churning. That smells TERRIBLE! he thought to himself. Like... Aphrodite's feet... Oh Gods!

Gabrielle took another eel and bit in, not noticing her husband's increasing discomfort as she continued eating. "Oh, this is wonderful! I can't tell you the last time I've had eel that tastes so great!" She finished it and took a third one from the bowl. She turned in Joxer's direction and put it directly underneath his nose. "Want a bite, sweetheart?" she asked.

Suddenly Joxer put his hand to his mouth and ran outside, making a gagging noise as he left the dining room. Gabrielle stared as he left with a puzzled look on her face. "What's the matter with him?"

"I think Joxer was feeling a little green around the gills, Gabrielle," Xena replied dryly.

"Oh. Okay." Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders and continued her feast. Xena and Cyrene exchanged glances and sighed. It was going to be a long five months.

Joxer shuddered and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief he had in his pocket once he was sure that his stomach was completely empty and the dry heaves had finally stopped. He panted to catch his breath and he heard voices from not too far away. He realized that it was Jace, Arose, and Ricky. Joxer slowly looked up from where he was crouched behind a large bush and saw Ricky and Arose laughing and holding hands. He wondered at this.

Part Three

Joxer watched as Jace, Arose and Ricky approached. He slowly stood up and walked over to Ricky. "We need to talk. Please come with me."

Arose started to say something, but Ricky shook his head. "No, Arose. I'll talk with your brother."

Arose turned and looked at Jace, who smiled. "Come on, let's go eat. I'm sure it will be fine."

Arose frowned. "I think I should be here."

Joxer looked at her and placed his hand on her chin, lifting it up to gaze into her eyes. "I just want to talk with him, no more, and if you want to listen you can, but only listen."

"Joxer, I'm older than..."

"No, Arose. You're only sixteen and that's not older." He said nothing else but kissed her gently on her forehead before he turned to Ricky. "Okay. Let's go talk." Arose nodded and moved away to stand by Jace, knowing she had to trust her brother about this.

They were about to leave when Gabrielle came out. "Joxer, where're you going?"

"I need to talk to Ricky here. Want to join us?"

Gabrielle thought for a moment then shook her head. "No. I'm a little tired right now so I'm going to lie down for a while. Joxer, please don't be too late." She covered a yawn with the back of her hand.

Joxer walked over and gave Gabrielle a kiss. "I won't be. I promise."

Gabrielle returned the kiss and then went back inside. Arose watched as Joxer and Ricky disappeared around the corner. She looked up at Jace. "I wonder what he's going to say to him?"

Jace placed his arm around her. "Whatever he says to Ricky will be from his heart, Arose, nothing else. And he did say you could listen. Go on - you should be there."

Arose hugged Jace and ran to catch up with them. Joxer and Ricky, hearing her footsteps, stopped and waited for her. Ricky took Arose's hand and Joxer watched them silently. "Sir, would you like to have dinner with my family?"

Joxer looked at Ricky, his brown eyes beginning to twinkle. "Yeah. That would be nice. I didn't have supper yet - and the name is Joxer, not sir."

Arose looked from her brother to Ricky then back to Joxer again. "Joxer, he was just showing you respect!"

"I know and I was just letting him know it was okay to call me Joxer."

Arose started to say something but the understanding smile in Joxer's eyes stopped her. "You have nothing against me and Ricky being together. Do you?"

Joxer shook his head. "I have nothing against you two being together. All I'm asking is that you shouldn't jump into anything. Make sure."

"Si... Joxer, I know that I love Arose more than life itself. I'd swim the deepest sea for her, climb the highest mountain for her, even die for her..."

"I understand exactly what you mean," Joxer nodded then turned to Arose. "Does he know?"

Arose looked at Joxer. "You mean about my past?" Joxer nodded. Arose sadly turned away. "I'm afraid to tell him," she admitted.

"Arose, I love you. Nothing you can say will change that."

Arose felt tears stinging her eyes. "This might. Oh Ricky, I died many years ago and I was set free by Joxer." She told him everything about how Joxer freed her and Gabrielle from the Amazon Underworld. She waited for his reaction nervously when she finished her story.

Ricky stared at Joxer. Joxer only watched him and said nothing. Ricky was stunned by Arose's story. It was not what he expected Arose to say, but he didn't care. He loved her. "Then I'm a lucky man to have the Gods give you life again," he told her with a smile.

Arose flew into Ricky's arms. "I love you, Ricky!"

Joxer placed his hand on Ricky's shoulder. "Welcome to the family, Ricky. Wait until you meet Jett. Now let's get something to eat. I'm starving!" They laughed and went to Ricky and his parents' wagon where Maria was just finishing up with fixing supper. Joxer sniffed the air and the wonderful aroma of whatever she was making made his nose twitch. "MMMM! That smells so good. What are you cooking?"

Maria looked up and then started to fuss, making Joxer sit down and started putting all kinds of food on his plate. "You are too skinny! Just look at you - nothing but bones. This will fatten you up."

Joxer watched as different types of food were placed before him. Ricky sat down next to him and told him what each dish was called. There was spiced roast goat with vegetables, cheeses, a saffron rice dish that had prawns, chicken and shellfish mixed in it, warm bread, a delicious red wine, and fruits for dessert.

Joxer ate until he felt like he was going to burst at the seams. Everything smelled so wonderful and was spiced so perfectly that he simply couldn't help himself. After supper, Joxer followed Mario outside. Mario looked up into the sky. "I think Arose is a fine young lady for my son. She's bright and will make a good mother and give me many grandchildren." He gazed at Joxer. "You must be very proud of your younger sister."

Joxer nodded in agreement. "Yes, I'm very proud of her. She's a great sister."

After a while, it was time to return home. Joxer said goodnight and then turned to Arose. "Arose, don't stay out too late, okay?"

Arose went over and gave Joxer a kiss. "I won't, little brother! Thanks." She laughed at the face he made before he hugged her goodnight and waved as he walked back towards the tavern. When he walked into the bedroom, Gabrielle looked like she was asleep, so he quietly took off his clothes, climbed into bed and placed his arm around her.

"So, how is everything?" Gabrielle asked sleepily.

Joxer looked at Gabrielle, surprised. "At the moment, everything's fine, Gabrielle."

"Good," she mumbled as she settled down in his arms and fell back to sleep.

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