by Susan Owens and Sandy Fiebranz
Copyright 2002-3
Rating: PG
Author's notes: Sequel to "To the Happy Couple"
Part One
Gabrielle sighed as she sat on Sugar while Joxer carefully and slowly led the horse. "Joxer, please, can we move a little faster? By the time we get to Amphipolis, the baby will already be born, grown up, and on his own!"
Joxer stopped Sugar and turned around to look at Gabrielle. "I've told you before, Gabrielle. I'm taking my time so nothing happens to you and the baby."
"I know Joxer, and I think you're so sweet to do this, but I'm really getting sick and tired of going so slow! I think I saw a snail pass by us - and it was the same one. Twice, Joxer, twice!"
Joxer laughed. "Oh Gabrielle, now you're just being silly! We aren't going that slow!"
Gabrielle's lips narrowed. "Joxer, either get up here with me so we can move faster or I will leave without you!"
Joxer looked into Gabrielle's eyes and studied them. Knowing Gabrielle the way he did, he quickly mounted Sugar. He yelled in surprise as Gabrielle made Sugar go into a gallop towards Xena's home village.
"No! No! No! That's not right, Carmen! You have to feel the music. We've been over this again and again. Why won't you listen to me?"
"Oh Jacey Poo, it's so hard! Besides, I can't work with that child staring at me. Please send her away!"
Jacey Poo? Arose stood up, eyes blazing with fury. "Child! I'll show you who's a child, you spoiled little witch!"
Carmen turned to Jace. "Did you hear what that child called me? Jacey Poo, do something about her!" she whined, batting her eyelashes at him.
Jace looked at Arose then turned back to Carmen. "I think I will do something. Carmen, get your stuff and leave here!"
"What?"
"You heard me! I won't put up with your prima-donna attitude any longer! Now, get out! And nobody calls me Jacey Poo unless I say so!"
Carmen stared at everyone. "You'll all be sorry when this show hits rock bottom! I was your star!" Carmen walked away in a huff.
Jace then turned to Arose. "Arose, you've been watching her every day and I've seen you practice. You know the dance very well. You just need to work with a partner." Jace looked around and saw Ricky. "Ricky, come over here please. I want you to practice the La Blamba with Arose." Ricky smiled and ran over to them. He gave Arose a big smile and she shyly smiled back. Jace smiled too. He liked Ricky and Arose together. "All right, people! Let's get back to work. We've got a show to put on."
"Joxer, look! Just down over this hill is Amphipolis!" Gabrielle yelled excitedly.
"Yeah, maybe I should get off and lead us down. We don't want you to... AAAHHH!!!!!! Gabrielle! Slow down, Gabrielle! Please!" Gabrielle paid no attention. Instead, she spurred Sugar on so that they were going faster and faster down the hill. Joxer was holding on for dear life. Inside the inn, Xena, Eve, and Cyrene heard Joxer's frantic cries and ran out to see Gabrielle and Joxer riding in fast. Gabrielle made Sugar come to a quick halt, leapt off the mare and ran into her best friend's arms.
"Oh Xena, I missed you so much! I've got wonderful news to tell you!"
Xena laughed and hugged her friend. "I missed you too, Gabrielle. So, what's your wonderful news?"
"Let's go inside and then I'll tell you."
"Abby! Abby! Oxer! Oxer! Miss you!" Eve cried out, holding out her arms to be picked up. "Oxer look green, Abby!"
Gabrielle laughed as she picked up Eve and gave her a big kiss. "I missed you too, sweetie!" She whirled her around and put her back down on the ground.
"Hey, you can't tell everyone without me. It's my good news, too," Joxer mumbled.
Gabrielle went over to Joxer, who was still sitting on Sugar. "Come on, Joxer. We'll tell them together. Are you sure you're okay? Evie's right. You do look a little green. I shouldn't have ridden so fast."
"'M okay," Joxer swallowed hard and waited for a few minutes to clear his head then slowly got off Sugar. "Hey Gabrielle, if we have a girl, I've got a great name for her - Irene! It means peace."
Gabrielle turned to him. "Joxer!"
Joxer realized what he had said and felt terrible. "Oh Gabrielle, I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking."
Gabrielle smiled sweetly at him as Eve clamored for Joxer to pick her up. "It's okay Joxer, and I like the name Irene."
"You're going to have a baby? Oh Gabrielle, Joxer! That's wonderful. I'll bet Jace and Arose will be so happy for the two of you."
Joxer looked at Xena, eyes lighting up as Eve kissed him loudly on the cheek. "Jace and Arose are here?"
"Yeah. They have at least two more shows to do."
Joxer nodded and smiled as he put Eve down. "Great! Where are they...?"
Jace came bounding out the door, Arose right behind him. "Little brother! It's so good to see you!" he pulled Joxer into a huge embrace, almost choking Joxer in his enthusiasm.
"Oof! G-g-ood to see you too - and stop calling me that!" Joxer gasped as Jace finally loosened his grip and allowed Arose to come over and hug him. "Hi, Arose. You look wonderful!"
"Thanks, little brother," Arose giggled as Joxer made a face at her. "I thought I heard Xena saying something about a baby?" she asked curiously.
Gabrielle approached Joxer and put her arms around his waist. "Yes. We're going to have a baby," she said, looking up at her husband with a huge smile. Joxer kissed her happily and nodded in confirmation.
"A baby? You're going to have a baby? Oh my! I-I-I-I'm gonna be an uncle!" Jace babbled and immediately burst into tears. "Oh, I'm so happy!" he shouted, gently dabbing his cheeks with a handkerchief before both he and Arose gave the couple a huge bear hug.
"Okay, you two! You're going to squish them to death..." Cyrene said, laughing as she turned to her daughter. "Are they always like that?"
"Yep," Xena confirmed with a nod. She was about to say something else when a series of pink hearts and gold sparkles appeared in the middle of the courtyard, accompanied by the scent of roses and trumpets playing a triumphant march. "I think that things are going to get pretty interesting in just a moment, Mom."
"I think you're right," Cyrene nodded. "Not that it's ever a dull moment when you come to visit," she added in with a wink.
"Gee, thanks a lot, Mom!"
Jace watched as the Goddess of Love appeared from the sparkles and hearts. "Now that's the way to make an entrance!" he exclaimed softly, delicately dabbing his cheeks and sniffling. "I wonder if she'd..."
"Jace!" Arose hissed in Jace's ear and poked him on the arm. "That's the Goddess of Love, not a showgirl!"
"I know, but I can dream, can't I?" Jace whispered back.
Arose rolled her eyes. "Oh, brother!"
"Studmuffin!" Aphrodite exclaimed and squealed, tossing her blonde curls back. "Good to see you and the Bardly One!" She turned to Xena before Joxer and Gabrielle could answer and chuckled. "How's it going, O Warrior Chick?"
"I'm just fine, Aphrodite," Xena replied dryly. "What do we owe the, uh, pleasure of your company?"
"'Dite!" Eve screeched, giggling.
"Hiya cutie!" the Goddess giggled and waved at Eve before turning to Jace and Arose. "Hey, you two! I see the entertainment business has been treating you well."
"Uh, Aphrodite..." Gabrielle cleared her throat.
"Yeah, Blondie? So, how's it shaking?"
Gabrielle and Xena exchanged glances and rolled their eyes. "As nice as it is to see you and all that..."
"Oh! You want to know why I'm here..."
"That would be nice to know," Xena broke in, eyebrows rising.
"Hey, didn't your mother like teach you any manners?" Cyrene cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the Goddess. "Okay, you taught - it just didn't take. Sheesh!" Aphrodite turned back in the puzzled couple's direction. "It's nothing special - the world as we know it isn't coming to an end and all that! I just wanted to give my very special props to you and my boy Joxer on your new arrivals-to be, you busy little beavers!" Aphrodite winked cheekily. "And I do mean busy! Whew!" She fanned her face with her hand.
Joxer covered his face with his hands, blushing furiously as Gabrielle groaned, embarrassed. Xena snickered while Cyrene, Jace and Arose stared at the Goddess in astonishment. "Oh gods...", Joxer mumbled. Then, Aphrodite's earlier words sunk in and he raised his head, eyebrows drawing together in puzzlement. "Wait a second! What do you mean, 'arrivals-to-be'?" he asked.
"Like duh, Studmuffin! The warrior bard's got two buns in the oven, you sly dog you!" Aphrodite giggled, poking Joxer gently in the ribs. "Catch you later, peeps!" She snapped her fingers and disappeared in a burst of pink and gold sparkles. Nobody said anything for a minute, stunned by the goddess' revelation.
Gabrielle put her hand over her still rock-hard stomach. "Twins," she said softly, a smile on her face. "Oh, Jox... Joxer!" Her eyes widened as Joxer's eyes rolled up and he fell forward in a dead faint, Jace managing to catch him just before he crashed to the ground in a heap. "Thanks, Jace!" she knelt down next to her husband, gently patting his cheek. "Could I have some water, please?" Cyrene nodded and went inside the tavern.
"Well, he took that extremely well. Better than I expected he would," Xena said with a smirk. "Congratulations, Gabrielle."
"Uh thanks, Xena." Gabrielle continued patting Joxer's cheek. "Joxer, wake up!"
"Does he always do that when he hears really good news?" Arose asked curiously.
"Yes!" Xena, Gabrielle and Jace chorused.
"Oh."
Eve started to giggle as she gazed down at the dead-to-the-world warrior wannabe. "Mommy, Oxer go boom again!" she screeched.
Xena picked up her daughter and kissed her. "Yes, Evie. Joxer went boom again."
On the ground, Joxer's eyes fluttered open and he groaned softly. "Whazit... What happened?"
"You fainted," Arose explained helpfully as Gabrielle helped him rise to a sitting position and gave him the mug of cool water for him to drink.
Joxer slowly drank the water, trying to remember why he fainted. "Did Aphrodite say we're going to have twins?" Gabrielle nodded. Joxer felt his head spin again, but this time he didn't faint. He looked up at Gabrielle, dark brown eyes wide. "Twins?"
"Yes, sweetheart. Twins."
"Yahoo! Twins! Yes, yes, yes!" Joxer dropped the mug then suddenly got up and did a crazy dance.
Eve giggled in delight, "Oxer, dance! Dance!" she cried. Joxer picked her up and danced, whirling around in a circle as Eve screamed happily. Jace and Arose joined him as Xena, Cyrene, and Gabrielle looked on in amusement.
"Well, I'd say Joxer is more than happy. Wouldn't you, Gabrielle?" Xena began laughing.
"Uh huh," Gabrielle agreed with a grin as she cupped her hands to shout over Jace's, Arose's, Joxer's and Eve's lively celebration. "Joxer! If we have a boy and a girl I want the boy to be named Darien after my cousin from Corinth!"
"You've got it, Gabrielle! Irene and Darien The Mighty! Oh yeah!" Joxer brought Gabrielle to his side with his free arm and kissed her strongly. "I love you."
"I love you too!" Gabrielle giggled and found that she was dancing with him too.
"What if it's two boys or two girls?" Cyrene asked, shaking her head and laughing as she watched the group celebrating.
"I don't think they'll care, Mom. They'll figure something out," Xena replied, putting her arm around her mother's shoulder and smiling. All was right with the world.
Part Two
Days passed into weeks and weeks passed into months. Joxer noticed a strange change coming over Gabrielle. She seemed almost different at times. In one minute, she loved him and the next minute she'd be attacking him like a rabid dog. Today was the latter. "Joxer! Why can't you do anything right? Do I have to do everything? Gods! Why did I ever marry you?" she snarled.
Joxer looked at her and he didn't know what to say. Xena had told him she would go through this and he remembered Xena's mood swings while she was pregnant with Eve, but he just didn't know what to say to Gabrielle. So, he tried to be helpful instead. "Joxer, give me that! Get out! Go watch Arose and Ricky! Just get out!" Joxer nodded and hurried from the tavern.
Jace stood up and walked around Arose and Ricky. "No! No! No! Ricky, you've got to wait for the right time and you, Arose, have got to get it together!"
"Oh Jace, we are together," Arose giggled and Ricky turned a shade of red.
Jace's eyebrows rose. "Oh really?"
"Yeah. Really."
"Oh Arose, I am so happy for you! Give your brother a hug!"
Arose laughed as she hugged Jace. She stopped laughing when she saw Joxer coming towards them. She saw that he looked out of sorts. "Hold on, Jace. Looks like Joxer needs us."
Jace hurried over to Joxer with Arose right behind him. "Joxer?"
"Hi, Jace. Hi, Arose. So what's up?"
Arose stared at him carefully. "Well, by the look on your face, it sure isn't you. Is Gabrielle in one of her moods again?"
Joxer sighed. "Yeah. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it."
Jace placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Joxer, this will pass. Gabrielle will be fine."
"Great, but what about me?"
"Joxer, you sound like she's going to kill you!" Jace exclaimed.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to sound that way. It's just that..."
"Joxer! Oh Joxer! Please don't leave me! I'm so sorry, Pookie!" Joxer turned around just in time to catch his wife as she fell into his arms crying hysterically. "Oh Joxer, I've been such a monster to you! I'm so sorry! Please come home with me! Please don't leave me!" Joxer smiled softly as he wiped her tears away with the back of his hand. Gabrielle's eyes widened then narrowed suspiciously. "Why are you smiling like that?"
"Gabrielle, let's go home and I'll give you one of my famous back rubs," Joxer said.
Gabrielle leaned against him sighing, "Oh, that sounds so wonderful! You are so good to me, Joxer."
Joxer looked at his siblings, shrugged his shoulders, smiled and put his arm around Gabrielle's waist. Together, they walked inside the tavern.
Jace turned to Arose and Ricky. "So, when are you going to tell Joxer about the two of you?"
Arose sighed. "When I feel the time is right - maybe after the twins are born. He's got enough things to deal with right now."
Jace nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan."
Cyrene came into the main room with a tray of glasses getting ready to wash them. Eve was following her carrying one small mug. Xena smiled at them. "Hey pumpkin, are you helping Grandma?"
Eve looked up at her mother and giggled. "I help Grandma!"
"Yes you are, sweetie." Xena smiled as Joxer and Gabrielle walked in. "I see you found him."
"Yes - and he still loves me." Gabrielle hugged Joxer tightly to her.
Xena's eyebrows rose in amusement as Joxer's eyes almost bugged from his head at his wife's enthusiastic embrace. "Didn't I say he would and aren't I always right?" she asked smugly.
"Uh huh. Boy, am I hungry! Pookie, could you please get me some chocolates?"
"Gabrielle, honey, you know that they're hard to find around here."
"Please, Pookie? I'll just die if I don't get some chocolate," Gabrielle's eyes began to fill with tears and her bottom lip trembled.
"Okay, okay. I'll get you some chocolate. I think I know where to get some," Joxer said in a soothing voice. He kissed Gabrielle gently on the cheek and smiled. "I'll be back soon," he promised.
Joxer started to leave when Xena pulled him aside. "Joxer, if you're thinking about getting the chocolate where I think you are, please don't take them! Ask her."
"Xena, I'm not a thief!" Joxer whispered angrily.
Xena sighed and loosened her grip on his white tunic. "I never said you were, Joxer, but sometimes desperate men do desperate things. Promise me you'll ask her."
Joxer rolled his eyes. "Okay! I promise."
Xena smiled. "Good boy." She looked down when she felt a tug on her skirt. "What is it, Evie?"
"Mommy, go with Joxer?" Eve asked.
"No, Eve. You're staying with Grandma and me, okay? You can help us take care of Gabrielle while Joxer's gone."
"Okay!" Eve giggled.