Rating: G.
Summary: A letter Joxer writes home to Meg and the other kids,telling the latest news about his travels. The alterer being in a state of denial, this reflects the idea that Joxer is still alive and well.
Disclaimer: I did not entirely write this. I found most of it in the LDS humor section at 'All About Mormons', and altered it to my purposes. As always, I own no characters but the ones I make up.

Dear Meg and Kids,

We are having a great time here in Thrace. I thought it would be wise for me to write to you in case you heard about the flood and worried. We are okay. Only one of our saddles and two blankets got washed away. Luckily, none of us got hurt because we were away from camp, in the mountains looking for Gabrielle when it happened. Oh yes, please write to Lila and tell her she is okay. She can't write because of the cast. I got to ride on one of the stolen horses. It was neat. We never would have found her in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Xena got mad at Gabrielle for wandering off alone without telling anyone. Gabrielle said she did tell her, but it was during the fire so she probably didn't hear.

Did you know that if you put liquor on a fire the liquor flask will blow up? The wet wood still didn't burn, but one of Gabrielle's scrolls did; also some of our clothes. Eve is going to look weird until her hair grows back. We will be visiting in a few days if Argo's foot heals. It wasn't her fault about the accident. The road looked solid enough. Xena said that a trail that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why there are so many warning signs on it. I think it's a great road. It's always very quiet and the trees are nice and shady, even if it is hard to navigate. It gets pretty hot with six people and two horses all squished together trying to get past the dangerous parts. We took turns riding double on the horses until Amber refused to move another inch.

Ares has gotten over his culture shock surprisingly well. Don't worry, he is a good fighter. In fact, he is teaching me how to fight. But he only lets me train when no one else is awake to criticize. He's still very self-conscious about no longer being all-powerful and all that.

This morning all of us were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Xena wouldn't let Eve because she can't swim and Gabrielle was afraid she would sink because of the cast, so she let them take a canoe they found an they went across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Xena isn't as crabby as she used to be. She didn't even get mad about the colored fire experiments that Virgil and Eve put together. She has to spend a lot of time taking care of Argo, so we are trying not to cause her any trouble.

Guess what? When Eve dove in the lake and cut her arm we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Ares and I threw up. Xena said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken.

I have to go now. We are coming up on the next village, where we will post our letters and get our weapons repaired. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.

Love,

Joxer

The End

Please take the time to write to Seri at silverhawkwarrior@netzero.comand let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Eve, Virgil, Ares, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2000 by Seriana Ritani and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.