Joxer's face twisted up angrily as he glared down at Gabrielle, who narrowed her eyes at him as she returned the glare. "Well, like I was saying, I got up early to fix breakfast and I had just finished doing it when I remembered that the water skins needed to be filled, so I walked down to the river to fill them," he began.

"I've got that part down already, Joxer!" Gabrielle said impatiently. "We weren't that far away from the river, so what took you so long?"

Joxer's pale complexion turned pink and he turned his head away from her, embarrassed.

Gabrielle sighed and rolled her eyes. "You got lost again, didn't you?"

Joxer colored a bit more and he shuffled his feet, backing a couple of steps away from the bard. "Wasn't just that," he mumbled.

Gabrielle threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. "Okay, fine! So you took care of nature's call and you eventually managed to find your way back to camp. Then what?"

Joxer sighed and lowered his eyes to stare down at his vomit stained boots. "Never mind, Gabrielle. It's not important. Let's just leave it as 'Joxer screws up like he normally does...'"

"Oh no you don't! Not this time!" Gabrielle shook her head ferociously and jabbed her finger at Joxer's chest, making him yell. "I'm not gonna watch you pout the rest of the day!"

Joxer licked his lips before he finally burst forth with, "I wanted to surprise you with a really nice breakfast but that managed to get messed up, as usual! I even picked those cherries for you 'cuz I know they're you're favorite! Almost got myself killed too while climbing that tree," he mumbled petulantly. He sighed loudly as he gazed down at his sopping wet boots. "I'm sorry, Gabrielle. I didn't mean what I said earlier..."

Gabrielle put her hand over her mouth, her green eyes suddenly glistening as she gazed up at the miserable warrior wannabe. "Oh, Joxer. ..."

Joxer raised his head and gazed intently into Gabrielle's eyes. He paused for a moment before he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Gabrielle."

"Oh, Joxer. Me too," Gabrielle murmured. Without another word, she suddenly reached out and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, putting her head right against his heart. Joxer immediately returned the embrace with the same fervor, both of them ignoring the vomit on his shirt as Gabrielle continued to press herself tightly against Joxer's chest and closed her eyes, her features visibly relaxing.

"I see that the hostilities have finally ceased on one front," Alexander grumbled.

Xena crossed her arms over her chest, watching her friends with a raised eyebrow. The rest of the people in the room watched the couple with varying expressions of surprise on their faces.

"Well, whaddya know?" Fred finally murmured with a grin. Laliari clapped her hands together happily as Fred slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey! Since when does the Gabster apologize to the Warrior Klutz? Much less willingly hug him?" Autolycus muttered, watching the couple in wide-eyed amazement.

The Goddess snorted derisively at the thief. "See what happens when you don't keep your grubby little paws to yourself and you get stuck in the pokey? You so get behind on everything!" Aphrodite replied with a giggle as she stopped pinching her nose. She grinned as she thought to herself, You don't know the half of what's been going on between those two, Slick...

"Har de har har! You're just a barrel of laughs, aren't you, sister?" Autolycus sneered.

"You just wait until we get back home, Mister Sticky Fingers! You'll be wishing that you're still wearing that high-fashion outfit I put you in by the time I'm finished!" the Goddess informed the thief.

"Feh! You and what army?" Autolycus retorted with a bark of laughter.

Guy cleared his throat as he turned in Aphrodite's direction, reached out, and carefully tugged on her robe, his blue eyes as large as saucers. It had the desired effect of distracting the flighty Love Goddess from starting an argument with the handsome thief. She looked down at him curiously. "Yo! How can I help you - and trust me, you desperately need it, Mustache Man!" she observed with a giggle.

"He... She..." Guy shakily pointed at the couple, who were still hugging. He saw that Joxer had a rather goofy grin on his face and that Gabrielle didn't look like she was planning on moving away from the tall and lanky warrior wannabe anytime soon.

"Sweet cheeks, you can't believe everything you see on TV - even though those poor deluded dudes over there obviously don't get the concept," Aphrodite said with a mischievous wink as she motioned towards Teb and Mathesar, who were watching the couple with awestruck expressions on their faces. She leaned down and Guy's eyes grew even wider than they already were as the scent of roses filled his nose, overwhelming him. "Didn't your parents ever tell you that?"

Guy nodded very slowly as he gazed at the beautiful Goddess. He drew his breath in with a loud and blissful sigh and he smiled widely up at her before falling back over again in a dead faint.

Aphrodite chuckled throatily as she rose back to full height. "Doggone it, I'm so good!" she twittered as she smoothed her negligee down.

"Useless idiot," Alexander grumbled in disgust as he looked down at the blissfully dead- to-the-world Guy.

"He might be an idiot, but he's a cute idiot!" Aphrodite retorted with a giggle as she ran her fingers through her hair.

Alexander rolled his eyes and mumbled, "She's even more of an airhead in reality than she is on TV!"

Aphrodite's head whipped around in the Englishman's direction and her blue eyes narrowed in anger. "Hey, I heard that, Mister Stick-Up-Your-A...!"

"Ahhh...Aphrodite, maybe you might want to get their attention, huh?" Jason quickly intervened before the Goddess could finish, pointing at the still-hugging Joxer and Gabrielle.

"I guess so," the Goddess sighed wistfully, turning back in the couple's direction and chuckled as she saw the bored expression on Xena's face. "Phew! It is ripe in here!" she said to herself with a giggle before raising her voice. "AHEM!"

The couple looked up, startled. Aphrodite giggled and they both blushed a little when they realized that everybody was staring at them. Both of them slowly lowered their arms and Gabrielle looked down the front of herself as she moved a step away from Joxer. She wrinkled her nose as she turned around to face the others and absently slipped one hand in Joxer's, while placing her other hand against her pounding forehead.

Xena stood in place and stared hostilely at the Goddess with her hands on her hips. "Now, start talking!" she exclaimed. "Better yet, SEND US BACK!" she demanded.

Aphrodite whined, "Well, I was gonna do that, but things kinda happened here!"

"Aphrodite, just do it!" Xena closed her eyes for a moment in sheer exasperation and then stumbled over to where Gabrielle and Joxer were standing.

"Okay, okay!" The Goddess rolled her eyes. "Jeez, you're so darn pushy!" She turned to Autolycus and pointed at the three standing in the middle of the room. "Think you can manage to get yourself over there, Slick?"

Autolycus glared at the Goddess, but slowly rose to his feet. He lurched over to the three that were already waiting on the floor and barely avoided stepping into the vomit puddle. He, like Xena, Joxer, and Gabrielle, closed his eyes and stiffened his body, nervously waiting for a zap.

Aphrodite held her hands out and a pink puff of smoke came from her fingertips. "Huh?" She tried again. Nothing happened. She tried yet again - and again, nothing happened. "Uh oh!"

Autolycus cautiously opened an eye. "Whaddya mean, 'uh oh?'" he asked suspiciously.

Joxer and Gabrielle exchanged alarmed glances and didn't even bother looking at Xena. Guy gulped when he saw the rapidly changing expression on Xena's face and began shivering violently.

Gwen looked up at the ceiling and began counting under her breath. "Three... Two..."

"APHRODITE!"

"One," Alexander finished sourly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jason managed to catch Alexander and Gwen's attention by raising his hand and waving it a little. He jerked his head towards Xena and opened his eyes widely then put his hands together like he was trying to wring an invisible neck, grimacing as he did so.

Gwen and Alexander exchanged glances and the Englishman made a face. Gwen glared back at Alexander and he rolled his eyes. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders in resignation. "Like I have a choice in the bloody matter at any rate!" he muttered under his breath. Gwen slapped Alexander's arm and glowered at him furiously. Alexander narrowed his eyes in response, but wisely kept his mouth shut.

Jason rolled his eyes and made a "Let's go!" motion with his hand. After a couple of false starts and stumbles, the three carefully and rather slowly began walking over to where Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and Autolycus were standing, paying close attention to Xena in particular. They managed to get behind the four with a minimum of noise, surprisingly not falling over as they did so, and got ready in case Xena's temper, already frayed at the edges, decided to explode yet again.

"Xena, don't!" Gabrielle whispered hoarsely, turning around to face her friend. "She's not worth it!" Xena glared at her then shook her head. Gabrielle then turned around to gaze at the Goddess, still holding a hand over her pounding forehead. "What happened?" she asked in as calm a voice that she could manage under the circumstances. Joxer stayed silent, but eyed Xena nervously.

Aphrodite delicately stepped down from the transporter pad and frowned as she glanced at her hands. "I'm not sure, Miss Bard. It must've been the goo that's messed everything up. My guess is that when the Big Pale Dude With A Really Bogus Haircut-"

Teb bowed respectfully and murmured, "My name is Teb, O Goddess of Love."

The Goddess rolled her eyes. "Whatever!" She cleared her throat and continued, pointing at the taller Thermian. "Like I was saying, he must've pushed a button or pulled a lever at exactly the same time that total idiot Stavros was beginning to perform my ritual in the temple. That, in turn, somehow opened up some type of a temporal disturbance across time and two different dimensions. The tremendous kinetic energy that was created from the temporal rip got us pulled into this dimension. So, in short, that's why, Miss Bardy-Pants, we're here instead of there!"

Everyone stared at Aphrodite in open-mouthed shock.

"Well, like duh! Don't let the blonde hair fool you!" Aphrodite huffed, tossing her curls back. "The only problem is that now it's kinda... sorta... uh, well, managed to mess around with my powers..." she trailed off and smiled weakly at the group.

"Okay. Let me get this straight," Xena murmured thoughtfully as she stared at the Goddess. "Because of something that he-" she jerked her thumb in Teb's direction, "- did and whatever your stupid head priest did at the same time somehow managed to get us sent here - whatever here is."

"Yep," Aphrodite agreed.

"Right," Xena nodded. "I see. Okay. That somehow makes sense." She paused for a moment. "So, now we're stuck here because you had to look good!" She launched herself forward then with a loud cry and swore viciously when Jason, Gwen, Alexander, Gabrielle, and Joxer grabbed her by the arms and torso to hold her back from attacking the Goddess. "LEMME GO!" she screeched, struggling wildly to free herself from their combined grasp.

Aphrodite moved a couple of steps away from the others, her blue eyes wide as she watched the small group getting jerked back and forth by the enraged warrior princess. "Hey! I'm the Goddess of Love! I have to look good! It's like part of the job description, darn it!"

"I don't care if you're the Goddess of Slobs! YOU FIX THIS!" Xena bellowed.

"I'm workin' on it here!" the Goddess yelled back. "These things take time, y'know!"

Joxer yelped as Xena stamped on his foot. "Hey! We could use a hand over here!" he shouted at Autolycus, who was slowly backing away from the small group.

"What? Are you nuts?" the thief asked. "I like having all of my body parts attached to me, if you don't mind!"

"Calm down, Xena! It's probably just a temporary thing!" Gabrielle exclaimed as the small group lurched forward when Xena managed to move another couple of steps towards the Goddess. "She's not worth it! Besides, you know that she's the only way we'll get back home!"

Xena's eyes met Gabrielle's and slowly, she stopped her struggling at the bard's silent nod. "All right!" she growled finally, pulling herself away from the others. Joxer and Gabrielle heaved sighs of relief. "But I want explanations - like where we are and who in Tartarus these so-called people are!" Xena finished as she jabbed her thumb in Alexander's direction. The Englishman glowered at her and exhaled loudly.

Mathesar stepped forward nervously. "Perhaps it would be better to show you where we are instead." He motioned towards the sleek metal double doors. "Follow me, please."

Warily, Tommy and Guy shakily rose to their feet and stepped off the platform. They carefully walked over to the others and the group slowly moved over to the doors. There was a slight humming noise and the doors suddenly opened up, revealing a wide corridor.

Mathesar and Teb stepped over the threshold and beckoned to the befuddled Greeks. "This way," Teb said.

Xena gazed at the Thermian suspiciously, her hand hovering over her sword handle. Gabrielle caught her attention and shook her head very slightly. The tall brunette sighed and slowly lowered her hand, raising an eyebrow as her lips compressed together in reluctant acquiescence. Gabrielle silently sighed in relief and she tugged on Joxer's hand. Joxer nodded and together they lurched towards the open doors.

"Magic," Joxer muttered as he and Gabrielle stumbled over the threshold and into the hallway, Xena and Autolycus following closely behind them. The four looked around in wide-eyed amazement at the sleek metal-colored corridor.

"Automatic sensors," Jason replied wearily as he carefully walked over the threshold and leaned against the wall, putting a hand to his still-pounding forehead. The warrior wannabe gave him a confused look and shrugged his shoulders.

Aphrodite then stepped over the threshold and looked around the bare corridor, putting her hands on her hips. "What hideously boring décor!" she exclaimed, wrinkling her nose prettily. "Don't you dudes watch home improvement shows? This place is like totally done in 60's future schlock!"

Teb and Mathesar stared at the Goddess and smiled at her uncertainly, unsure of how to respond to her query.

A couple of people, all dressed in outfits similar to what Mathesar, Teb, and the 'crew' of the NSEA Protector were wearing, waddled towards the small group assembling in the corridor. The two crewmembers came to a halt, their eyes widening at first from surprise and then in delight. The two then headed on towards their destinations, both of them talking excitedly in high-pitched voices.

"What was that all about?" Autolycus asked nobody in particular, carefully lifting a hand to his pounding forehead.

"Dunno," Joxer replied, staring around the corridor as he and Gabrielle leaned up against the wall. "I just hope we get back home soon - before Xena conveniently decides to forget that she wants explanations and goes after Aphrodite again."

"You said a mouthful, little buddy," Autolycus mumbled.

Joxer sighed and rolled his eyes as the last of the group joined the others already standing out in the hall.

Teb briefly re-entered the transporter room and came back out, carefully carrying Xena's chakram in his hands. He silently offered the weapon to the brunette with a wide smile.

Xena slowly took her chakram from the Thermian, suspiciously lifting up the weapon to her eyes and inspecting it to see if it had somehow been tampered with by the strange man. Satisfied that no harm had come to the weapon while it was temporarily not in her possession, she re-hooked the chakram at her hip and glared at Teb. The Thermian stiffly bowed his head and then made a quick retreat to the opposite side of the corridor before she made an attempt to attack him.

"This way please," Mathesar said softly, motioning again after Guy staggered outside the room and the double doors slid shut behind him with a soft whoosh. The two Thermians began walking stiffly down the long corridor. The rest of the group with the exception of Fred and Laliari stumbled and lurched behind them, occasionally bumping into the walls or into each other as one or a couple of them would lose their equilibrium.

"I knew I forgot to bring something before we left home!" Jason groaned as he fell against Gwen.

"What did you forget?" Gwen asked, grabbing Jason's arm before they both lost their balance.

"I forgot the stupid chewing gum!"

"It's a little too late to remember that now, isn't it?" Alexander rumbled sarcastically as he barely avoided walking into the wall while lurching past them.

Joxer, Gabrielle, Xena, and Autolycus took in their new surroundings with rather stunned-looking expressions on their faces when they weren't bumping into the walls or each other. Aphrodite rolled her eyes at them, looking rather bored by the whole thing. Finally, the group haphazardly stumbled inside a room that had a large and round window positioned at each wall to look outside the vessel.

Gabrielle let go of Joxer's hand and staggered over to one of the windows. Joxer, Xena, and Autolycus silently followed her. Nobody said anything as the four gazed out the window and saw that they were orbiting a small blue and green planet carpeted by the nighttime sky that was studded with lights from the distant stars. A small moon orbited the planet, shining palely from the Sun's rays.

"Oh my Gods," Gabrielle breathed finally. "Is that?" she pointed in the planet's direction.

"Yes Gabrielle," Mathesar said softly. "That is your home."

"Well, it's not exactly our home, but it's close enough," Aphrodite interjected. Autolycus turned around and stared at her with a confused expression on his face. "It's like really complicated, okay?" the Goddess huffed. The thief rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the planet orbiting in front of them.

Gabrielle blinked and licked her bottom lip. "Joxer?"

"What is it, Gabrielle?" Joxer asked softly, absently taking her hand in his.

There was a momentary pause before the bard replied in a strangled voice, "You were right all this time. The Earth is round."

Teb gently cleared his throat. "Actually, it's slightly elliptical," he corrected Gabrielle.

Gabrielle, Joxer, Autolycus, and Xena turned around, staring at the Thermian with completely thunderstruck expressions on their faces. Teb, in turn, smiled sweetly at them and shrugged his shoulders.

...More coming soon!

Please take a moment to write to Sandy at fiebrans@prodigy.net and let her know how you like this story so far!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Aphrodite, Autolycus, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. "Galaxy Quest", Jason Nesmith, Alexander Dane, Gwen De Marco, Fred Kwan, Tommy Webber, Guy Fleegman, the Thembrians, and all other characters appearing in the movie, together with names, titles, backstories etc. are copyright property of Dreamworks. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2002-03 by Sandy Fiebranz and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.