"Gabrielle, you don't mind standing another watch, do you?" Xena asked. "I'm a little more tired than usual tonight."

The bard was sleepy, but not annoyed. "I'm not surprised, what with you having a nightmare. Go ahead. If I'm too far gone, I know Joxer will let me sleep in."

"He shouldn't do that, you know. He gets overtired, and then we have to watch him more closely. Some day an enemy will take advantage of that."

"Xena, we're not all warriors here. I don't want Joxer pushing his love on me all the time, and this is a nice way he can show me he loves me without committing either of us. I'm doing the same thing for you right now. Go ahead. Grab some more shuteye."

The Warrior Princess mumbled her thanks, and was asleep the moment she laid down. Gabrielle watched her for a while.

She's always praising Joxer for his progress and me for sticking to my goals and achieving them. Nobody ever tells Xena how far she's come. She used to be so selfish, but now she feels guilty if she takes a little extra rest. Xena's light is very bright now. When she finally decides she's atoned for what she did years ago, she'll make the world glow with her smile. I'm lucky to have her as a friend.

Xena knew this vision all too well. She saw her face in a brightly polished Roman shield. A legionnaire picked up the shield and walked away in the snowstorm. Gabrielle lay next to her, bound to a cross. Other soldiers prepared to drive nails through the bard's wrists.

"You're the best thing in my life," Xena told her.

Somehow, Gabrielle managed a smile.

Another soldier bent over Xena, and she knew she would feel the iron nails bite into her own flesh. Instead, the soldier slashed the ropes holding her right arm with - her chakram! Pressing the weapon into her hand, he ran toward Gabrielle. Xena wasn't sure, but the way he ran... no matter, she quickly cut the rest of the ropes and threw her chakram, managing to free Gabrielle's left arm and knock out one of the men holding the bard before the weapon returned. At the same time, Xena leaped up and struck two soldiers with her fists. Catching the chakram and pulling the gladius out of one surprised man's scabbard, she defended herself, making her way to her most beloved friend.

Out of the corner of her eye, Xena saw the soldier who had helped her. He flattened the rest of the men around Gabrielle with the bard's staff. Then he sliced Gabrielle's remaining bonds with his sword and gave her the staff. They ran to Xena. For the first time, the Warrior Princess saw his face. It was Joxer!

"Didn't expect to see me?" he observed. "You shouldn't count your other friends out, you know." A flight of arrows hit the Romans before they could form their 'testudo.'

A voice that Xena did not recognize - it did not belong to Ephiny - cried, "AMAZONS ATTACK!" Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer forced their way through the diminished enemy line. Demoralized, the Romans did not pursue. The companions quickly made their way to safety, the Amazons forming a rear guard.

"Joxer, I always knew you had it in you. Thank you for saving Gabrielle."

"What are you, chopped falafel? Just because I love Gabrielle doesn't mean I'm leaving you out." Gabrielle, not trusting herself to speak, nodded her thanks and lightly touched Joxer's arm.

"All right, Joxer." Xena found the next words difficult: "Thank you?for saving... me, too."

"I only saved you in this dream. The point is, you create your own destiny. You don't have to abandon Gabrielle to keep her from dying with you. There are other solutions. Maybe I'm part of one of them. Maybe it's the Amazons, or all of us together. You'll know when the time comes. Wake up now, so you can remember this."

Joxer hit her in the face before she could react. The last thing Xena remembered before she woke up was that the blow felt like a kiss from one of her brothers.

Xena sat up. Gabrielle was immediately concerned. "Is everything all right? Did you have another nightmare?"

"Not quite. Just thinking some things out. Thanks." She rolled over and went back to sleep.

Gabrielle studied her friend's sleeping form with suspicion. I hate it when Xena's so secretive. I'll bet she had that vision again, the one Alti used to torture us. The bard stood up and walked around to where she could see Xena's face.

I guess I was wrong. She's smiling.

The rest of the watch wound itself up uneventfully, though Gabrielle had a thought nag her during the remaining time. Xena's always carrying a burden beyond her own redemption. I wish she'd let me help her let it go. More often, anyway. She's always acting like the Warrior Princess. Maybe someday, she'll act like Xena. Oh, well, I'd better wake Joxer.

She gently touched his arm. "Your turn, Joxer. Come on, get up."

He didn't wake up right away. Instead, he began to smile. "Aw, honey, let's just hold each other a little longer," he mumbled in his sleep. "I love you, Gabby."

Gabrielle shook her head in exasperation, but she understood. "Wake up, Joxer! Dream about me some other time." It took a couple of minutes before her bleary-eyed friend was blinking at the fire, stretching and yawning.

"You were just about to kiss me," he said.

"Now I'm really glad I woke you up," she replied. "Just kidding," she hastened to add when she saw Joxer's face fall.

"That's all right," he decided. "It's always better when you kiss me on your own - when you want to."

"Why should I want to kiss you?"

"I dunno. Maybe you like it?"

Gabrielle was strangely quiet. Joxer had hit on the heart of the matter. She did like kissing him, but she didn't dare admit it. She gave him a noncommittal "maybe," then lay down on her bedroll. "Good night, Joxer."

"Good night, Gabby."

A tiny corner of Gabrielle's mind groaned in suffering; she thought she recognized the nightmare she had experienced many times before. Once again, the sun shone on the green meadow as she plunged a knife into Meridian's vitals and saw the blood on her hands. I could have done it differently, she thought, watching the red stain soak into the priestess' white gown. Disarmed her, maybe. Meridian collapsed and died. This time the nightmare was different. Gabrielle kept the knife and wiped it clean. Khraftstar came, gloating over his betrayal of the bard. Gabrielle rammed the knife into his gut and twisted. His bright blood spurted out, covering her, but she paid no heed. The look of surprise in his eyes became glassy, then dull as their light was extinguished.

My choice.

Then she was dying again, painfully crawling toward a cauldron of boiling oil. With most of her remaining strength, she tipped it over. Persian soldiers screamed, horribly burned, maimed, and even killed as they had the misfortune to be pushed directly under the torrent by their fellows. "Kill 'em all," Gabrielle whispered, and crawled back to her pallet. Satisfied, she closed her eyes from exhaustion.

My choice.

She opened her eyes again to find Joxer trying to carry her out of the Amazon village. Xena barred their path. Joxer set her down, then said, "Here, Xena. Now you can take care of her." Horrified, Gabrielle did not resist as Xena snared her and dragged her across the countryside. Once more she kicked the Warrior Princess in the head to keep from being thrown off a cliff. "I HATE YOU!" the bard screamed, and ran at Xena, hitting her low and knocking her over the edge.

Gabrielle did not fall with her. No Illusia, just surf washing over the broken body of a woman who had once called her "friend."

My choice.

Turning back, the air shimmered before her and Ares appeared. An aura of pure, raw lust surrounded him, the same kind of lust he had displayed before her evil daughter Hope. Gabrielle felt an obscene attraction for the God of War.

"I knew you had it in you all along," Ares said in a husky voice. "You're ready to take Xena's place. She grew too soft trying to be good. She couldn't even betray you properly."

He gestured, and Gabrielle's wounds disappeared. She was now dressed, armed and armored as Xena had been, down to the chakram at her hip. Gabrielle, the Destroyer of Nations, reached behind and drew her sword. Its gleam reflected the sparkle in Ares' eyes.

"See how hard, how powerful it is. You have the power now, Gabrielle. You can have it all. Go back to your Amazons and lead them in a mighty crusade. Destroy Dahak and unite the world under your sword."

The Queen of the Amazons saluted Ares, then mounted the horse Xena had used and rode to her village. Joxer ran to her.

"Gabby! You're all right! But why are you dressed like Xena?"

"Xena's dead, chump. I killed her. Now I'm going to kill you."

My choice.

Gabrielle swung her sword and cut off his head.

"Xena, something's wrong with Gabrielle!" Joxer called softly, not daring to touch the sleeping warrior. This was simple courtesy, not fear.

Instantly aroused, Xena saw her best friend tossing, turning and moaning in obvious discomfort. This nightmare was worse than usual. She decided to risk waking the bard, and motioned to Joxer to join her. Gently she shook Gabrielle, who began to scream aloud and beat at Xena's hand. Joxer, though he caught a fist in the face, managed to pin one arm while Xena grabbed the other. Together they attempted to soothe Gabrielle. Recognizing her friends, she screamed in pure terror.

"No! I killed you! I killed you both! Don't haunt me!"

Xena shook her harder. "Gabrielle! It's only a nightmare! Gabrielle! We're here. It's all right."

Slowly, the bard came to her senses and her tears flowed freely. Unable to speak, she hugged her friends to her. Gabrielle's smile was wan, but sincere for all that. Xena began to brush the tears away, then stopped and allowed Joxer to finish the act. He loved Gabrielle, after all, and it was important that both of the people who loved her most should comfort her.

"Gods, it was horrible!" the bard finally said. "I became a killer. First, the people I killed before, like Meridian. Then Khraftstar. Then both of you. I was going to become Ares' lover! Did he attract you that powerfully, Xena?"

"He did," the Warrior Princess admitted. "For Ares, war and sex are practically the same thing, and I used to be a very lusty wench indeed. It was hard to break free of that desire. But you're not a killer, Gabrielle."

"Maybe part of me is," she replied, shuddering. "I have killed. Other people died because I failed to kill, too. That's one reason I couldn't follow Eli's way. He can make nonviolence stick. I can't."

"Gabrielle, you do your best to avoid hurting people. Sometimes you have no choice and you have to use your staff. That's not failure. You're not an avatar like Eli. You're only human. Besides, you're following your own way."

"But I don't know what that way is!" Gabrielle wailed.

Surprisingly, Joxer provided the insight. "Your heart does, though. It hasn't steered you wrong yet. Someday your brain will catch up with it. That's what Mom always told me."

Well, I'll be... Out of the mouths of... "Joxer's right," Xena said. "Not every way fits in a neat box with a label on it, like 'peace' or 'love' or 'warrior.' You follow your heart, and I'll follow you."

"Now I get to turn the tables," Gabrielle said with a smile. "Your way is a warrior's way. How does following me help you?"

"Simple," Xena replied. "A true warrior prefers peace. We have the same goal, only different means. Together we have a better chance of making peace than if we worked separately."

"That works," the bard admitted. "And what's Joxer's way?"

"Isn't it obvious? His way is to get you to fall in love with him so you two can be married and he can finally bed you."

Joxer blushed hotly. His denials were overwhelmed by a shout of surprise and pain from Xena.

Gabrielle had tweaked her nose.

"All right, Gabrielle, you've earned your sleep. I'll take the last watch," Xena said, rubbing the sore extremity. Her friends needed no prompting, and in a few minutes, both were softly snoring.

Joxer would never forget the brightness of the town. It was Poteidaia, just like the day he had first come here with Xena. This time, his heart was lighter; he knew Gabrielle was alive. Then he saw her, and she rushed to kiss him.

He remembered that kiss, too. Not that he cherished and savored it as he cherished all of Gabrielle's kisses. That was because Gabrielle hadn't kissed him. Hope had.

"You!" he cried, and drew his sword. Before he could attack Hope with it, she slammed him with invisible force into a stall selling pinwheels. Hope laughed at him.

"Isn't he just so funny, Xena?" she asked.

"Yeah," the Warrior Princess replied. "Funny like a crutch." A pinwheel, precariously balanced, toppled over and bounced off his head. "Now that's funny," she laughed.

Lila arrived, leading Gabrielle by the hand. "Oh, look, Gabby, it's your boyfriend."

"Not my boyfriend," Gabrielle objected. "He's yours if you want him."

"Not me," Lila denied. "How about you, Hope? You look like Gab. He'll never know the difference, and when you get tired of him you can feed him to your boy."

"That's a thought. Can I have him, Mother?"

"'May I have him.' Of course you may, dear. Unless Xena has any objections."

"Nope. We can always pick up somebody else to laugh at. The only thing I can think of is that he might make the Destroyer sick to his stomach."

Hope frowned. "I don't want to have my precious one get all upset."

"Your grandmother always gave me ipecac," Gabrielle said. She reached into her basket, produced a phial and offered it to her daughter. "There. That should do the trick."

Slowly, Joxer pulled himself out of the wreck.

"But Gabrielle, I love you," he pleaded. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

All the women laughed.

"It was fun while it lasted," Gabrielle said, still chuckling. "Besides, I never had a chance to do anything nice for Hope."

Joxer started to cry. "What about you and me?"

"There never was a 'you and me,' Joxer," she answered. "I told you before, the whole idea is just ridiculous." Gabrielle began to laugh at him again.

"Come on, Xena, tell her! You never minded." Joxer was grasping at straws, and he knew he didn't have many to grasp.

Xena laughed at him, too. "Joxer, you never stood a chance. Watching you chase Gabrielle amused me so much that I didn't want to stop you." A new thought struck Xena, and she laughed once more. Joxer decided to run, but his body seemed to be caught in slow motion, and faster than his thought Xena struck him with her hands, cutting off the flow of blood to his brain. The women then trussed him up and gagged him before Xena struck him again to reverse her act.

"Hope, why don't you and your child come with us?" the Warrior Princess offered. "Gabrielle misses you, and you'd be a big help. Do you think he'd like the taste of warlord?"

"Probably," the half-god replied. "But I'd have to give up Father's plan."

"Dahak's just another guy when it comes down to it," Gabrielle advised. "The greater good is a lot more fun. We could spend some quality time together."

Joxer unsuccessfully strained against his bonds. The gag muffled his screams. He felt himself being lifted into the air though no one had touched him. Hope again.

The women walked to the Destroyer's cave, hashing out plans to keep the monster covered up in the daytime so he could travel with them. Hope hung Joxer in front of the cave as before. Gabrielle kissed Joxer's forehead, then tweaked his nose painfully.

"So long, Joxer the Mighty Joke. Nice knowing you." She laughed again, and the others joined in. They turned their backs on him and walked off, still laughing. More laughter, deeper in timbre, came from the cave, echoing hideously. Joxer's exertions only caused him to swing around toward the mouth of the cave, where he came face to face with -

"Joxer! Joxer!" Gabrielle called. She and Xena were both shaking him. Seeing his best friends, he shrank away and burst into tears.

"It's all right, Joxer," Xena soothed. "No one is going to hurt you."

"You woke me up with your screaming," Gabrielle said. "What happened?"

"Uh, I can't... Hope was..." His face flushed with shame.

"Hope? Did you dream about Gabrielle turning into Hope?"

"Worse. The three of you, and Lila, too... were laughing at me... then you fed me to... to..."

"The Destroyer," Xena said with distaste. "I guess this is our night for bad dreams."

"And to face our worst fears," Gabrielle added. "I'm glad we could be there for each other."

By unspoken agreement, the three friends hugged each other.

Gabrielle and Joxer were sleeping soundly when the sun came up. Clouds started to creep from the horizon, heavy with rain, but it would be a few hours yet before they arrived. The moon had set, and Xena felt more relaxed. She stood up and replenished the fire. Putting a pot of water on for tea, she was about to wake her friends, then shrugged. Why not let Gabrielle sleep in just this once? Packing up her bedroll, Xena made sure Argo had proper grass for grazing, then pulled another apple from Joxer's gear. She offered it to Argo, who took it with a soft whickering. Then the mare began to nuzzle Xena's hand, not in search of more apples, but as a gesture of friendship. The Warrior Princess caressed the mare's muzzle for a few minutes.

"Yeah, Argo, we're a team. You're part of the bigger team, too. You, me, Gabrielle and Joxer."

Argo snorted.

"Yes, Joxer. You're going to have to let him mount you someday, not just when he's too hurt to walk. I have to teach him how to ride. Besides, he'll be so grateful he'll give you extra carrots."

The palomino whinnied softly and nodded her head.

"Extra carrots it is, then."

Patting the mare's flank, Xena now plunged into packs and sacks to gather pans and the ingredients for breakfast. She was no cook, but even she couldn't mess up bacon and eggs too badly.

Gabrielle's nostrils twitched. "Mmmm..." she crooned. Then she sat bolt upright, fully awake. "Xena? You're making breakfast?"

"Why not?"

"Because you're a lousy cook, that's why not!" Gabrielle scrambled to her feet and ran to the fire. She was just in time to keep the food from burning. Xena handed her a cup of tea.

"Thanks, Xena. That was really nice of you to start breakfast."

"You deserved it. I'm always pushing you around."

"Not always. We're a team." She squeezed Xena's hand.

"Funny, that's just what I was telling Argo," Xena replied. Gabrielle chuckled at this sally.

Joxer yawned, stretched his arms and got up. "Rise and shine, Gabby - oh, you're already up."

"That's right, sleepyhead, and Xena made breakfast."

"By the gods! Am I having another nightmare?"

Gabrielle laughed, and for a second a look of panic shot across Joxer's face before he realized that she wasn't laughing at him at all, but at what he had said. The delicate sound was a relief to taut nerves.

"No, silly," she told him. However, she had spotted his initial reaction. Bringing Joxer a plate of food, the bard sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "How bad was that nightmare?" she asked.

"You kept laughing at me. When I said 'I love you,' you laughed. When Lila suggested I wouldn't know the difference between you and Hope, you laughed. When Xena said she was tired of me, you laughed. You all laughed. And the monster laughed..." He looked up, pained and saddened, and his brown eyes were met by a pair of sympathetic green ones. Gabrielle smiled in understanding.

"Joxer, sometimes you say or do something very stupid, and I'll laugh at that, if I'm not totally exasperated, but I'll never laugh at you or your love for me. You're my friend and part of my family. I can't stand to see other people hurt you, just as you can't stand to see other people hurt me."

Xena handed him some tea. "That goes double for me," she told him gently. "You're a real challenge, but you do learn. You've done your best to protect Gabrielle a couple of times when she couldn't protect herself. We never really laugh at you."

"We'd rather protect you and teach you, no matter how tough it gets, because you'd do the same for either of us in a heartbeat," Gabrielle added. She pulled him closer with a half-hug. "You've been laughed at a lot, haven't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted sadly. "I guess I deserved some of it."

"Some," the bard agreed. "Like when you brag. But as much as you've been laughed at, or turned down, or insulted - even Xena and I have done that to you - or had me tweak your nose, you always bounce back and do your best. Even Xena isn't braver than that."

The Warrior Princess nodded. She got up and brought Gabrielle and Joxer some bread.

"Come on, Gabby," Joxer denied calmly. "I'm no hero."

"Sure you are," Gabrielle asserted. "Feel like running home to Corinth?"

"No."

"Then you're a hero. Hey, this food is getting cold!" Gabrielle wolfed down her bacon and eggs. Then she looked at Joxer, squinted and screwed her face up as she gave out with a tremendous belly laugh. He knew that she was not laughing at him but at herself, which was confirmed when she put an arm around him again and squeezed. Maybe something from her dreams, he thought. Joxer smiled at her, and at her silent invitation, joined in the laughter.

Xena gave Argo another apple. Joxer keeps on improving. Gabrielle will always be his special friend, but he's grown on me, too. I like having another friend I can count on. She likes having a friend she can share more things with. Aah, you're just getting sentimental, Xena. I have no time for - maybe I do, at that. Just like I have room for Joxer in my heart.

Gabrielle and Joxer cleaned up the dishes together, smiling and laughing like old friends, which they had become. Xena smiled herself and joined them in packing up the camp. They had to make the next village before the rainstorm caught them.

A look at the next story:
The tenth and final story in the Joxer Loves Gabrielle series is "Gabrielle, the Goddess of Love." Aphrodite teaches Gabrielle a lesson about power by loaning her part of her godhead, and Our Favorite Bard begins to open her heart again. Aphrodite is a lot smarter than she appears, and when she works with our heroes instead of against them, the results can be spectacular.

Disclaimer:
No warriors, warrior wannabes, bards or mares were traumatized by nightmares in the writing of this story.

Author's notes:
This story was inspired by the "Dreams" episode of M*A*S*H. In it, all the major characters except Colonel Potter (who dreamed of his boyhood) had rather surreal nightmares about their work, their possible failure, the seeming futility of it all, and especially the feeling of being trapped in a never-ending war. I wanted to do the same for Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer. They have different fears, of course, such as Gabrielle's fear of succumbing to violent ways or Joxer's fear of failure, the latter contributing to his clumsiness. Notice that Xena worked through her fears in her dreams; this is not unusual behavior. Many people have solved problems in their dreams. That Joxer is the catalyst in Xena's dreams should come as no surprise to anyone who has read the second story in this series, "Educating Joxer". I decided to give Argo a nightmare for good measure.

In some parts of Greece, at least, hot food is considered to be bad for the stomach. Most ancient Greeks (and many modern ones) did not eat breakfast, let alone bacon and eggs!

Episode references:
Return of Callisto, The Deliverer, Gabrielle's Hope, King of Assassins, The Bitter Suite, One Against an Army, Sacrifice II, A Family Affair, In Sickness and In Hell, Paradise Found, and Between the Lines. The Way is also referenced, though in this series it is assumed that Gabrielle never chose to follow Eli's way, did not throw away her staff, resumed her old clothes and let her hair grow back, as detailed in my upcoming story "The Other Way."

Please take a moment to write to Phil at BroadwayPhil@yahoo.com and let him know how you liked this story!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Argo, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. Scenes and dialogue from Gabrielle's Hope, The Bitter Suite, One Against an Army, Sacrifice II, A Family Affair and the recurring crucifixion scene are © 1997, 1998 and 1999 by StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. 'The Ballad of Joxer the Mighty' by Ted Raimi and Josh Becker is copyright © 1997 by MCA/Universal. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999 by Philip D. Hernández and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.