DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

Xena, Warrior Princess
Gabrielle, the Bard of Poteidaia, Queen of the Amazons, Xena's best friend
Joxer, the Mighty, would-be hero
Argo, Xena's wonder horse

In their dreams:

Ephiny, Amazon Regent
Jett, Joxer's twin brother, an assassin
Ares, God of War
Hope, Gabrielle's daughter, evil spawn of Dahak
Meridian, priestess of Dahak
Khraftstar, priest of Dahak
Acestus, Scythian war leader
Lila, Gabrielle's sister
the Destroyer, Hope's son by Ares, a monster
a warlord's army
the entire village of Poteidaia
Amazons
wedding guests
priests of Dahak
Scythians
Roman soldiers
Persian soldiers

Rating: R
Genres: Xena: Warrior Princess, drama.
Extreme Violence: Several people are killed in dreams, somewhat more seriously than normally depicted in the series.
Sex: Gabrielle dreams that she dances naked in front of Joxer.
Language: Squeaky clean.
Subtext: None.
Spoilers: The Deliverer, The Bitter Suite, Sacrifice II, and A Family Affair.

Three companions walked along the road from Attica, having crossed over into Boeotia on their way to Thebes. They were two women and a man. The first woman was short, with a skirt to match. Her long strawberry blonde hair reached down to cover the top of her bosom, and her green shirt left her midriff exposed. She bore a staff in one hand. In the other, she held the reins of the golden palomino mare that walked behind her.

The second woman was a tall warrior, and she was explaining some of the finer points of combat to the man, who listened attentively, though it did not appear so from his mismatched armor and weird helmet.

"Your opponent is trying to get his sword there," she said, pushing a hand toward his ribs and touching him just below his round breastplate. "You want him to get it there."

"What?" the man exclaimed. "I don't want to get killed!"

"Right," the woman warrior agreed. "The trick is to not be there when his sword reaches that spot. Then you can grab his arm and break it, or flip him over, or spin him around into another enemy. Do you see what I mean?"

"I think so, Xena."

"How about a demonstration? Take out your sword and come at me slowly."

He did so, and mimed a charge. Xena sidestepped the practice attack, then grabbed his arm and turned him so he was stumbling backwards toward the first woman. The woman caught him easily, though her staff clipped him on the back of the head, knocking his helmet forward over his eyes. Regaining his balance, he pushed the helmet back into place. "Sorry, Gabby," he said.

"It's all right, Joxer," she replied. "I'm used to Xena's little demonstrations. Hey, Xena, don't you ever let up? I'm getting tired just watching you!"

"When we find a good spot for a camp," Xena told her, "we'll stop. I would prefer one with water."

"Fair enough," Gabrielle agreed.

"One more time," Xena said to Joxer, "and you can walk with Gabrielle for a while - if that's all right with you," she added in an aside to her best friend.

"I don't mind," Gabrielle answered. "Joxer's had a rough day today. We all have. This has been one long trail." Joxer's face lit up with a broad smile. He loved Gabrielle, though so far his sentiments had not been returned in kind. He continued to hope, but for now just being with his Gabby was satisfying enough.

"Come here, Joxer, and put your sword away. I'm going to attack you. I want you to do exactly what I just did," Xena directed.

"Uh, oh." Gabrielle put her staff down.

Xena moved at Joxer slowly so he would be able to practice the side step. Barely avoiding her, he then seized Xena's outstretched arm. Rather than follow directions, however, he tried to flip Xena over. She was perfectly balanced, however, so all he succeeded in doing was strain her arm muscles slightly.

"Ow!" the Warrior Princess cried. "What the devil are you trying to do, Joxer? Just because I said you could break somebody's arm doesn't mean you're supposed to try it on me!"

Joxer released her, and she drew her arm back angrily. "Sorry. I thought I'd see if I could flip you."

"That comes later," she snarled, rubbing her sore arm. The pain subsided. "Okay, no harm done. But do what I tell you, please?" Joxer nodded.

"'Please?' You must be exhausted," Gabrielle joked.

"Yeah, yeah, I admit it. I'm tired. Let's go another mile, and see about camp."

Luckily, they did not have to go that far. It only took ten minutes for them to find a sheltered spot near the road, with a creek nearby. The three took their bedrolls from Argo the horse and spread them out near the place where they would build their campfire.

With the camp established, Gabrielle sat down heavily on a soft mound of turf. "Gods, my feet are tired," she said.

"I could give you a foot rub," Joxer offered hopefully.

Xena smiled. "I'm not so sure that's such a good idea right now," she suggested, her manner friendly.

"Why not?" Gabrielle asked as she unlaced her boots. "That's very kind of you, Joxer, and I'm going to take you up on it." She pulled off one boot, then the other.

"Ugh." Joxer's nose wrinkled in disgust.

Gabrielle blushed, then giggled. To Joxer, it sounded like the tinkling of bells. He nearly forgot the unpleasant odor.

"Um, maybe I should wash them first," the bard said. She got up, grabbed a cloth and the offending boots, and went down to the creek.

"Joxer." He didn't respond to Xena. "Joxer, stop staring at Gabrielle for a second." The Warrior Princess had retrieved a small clay jar from one of Argo's saddlebags, which she now handed to her love-smitten friend. "When she gets back, rub some of this into her feet."

"What is it?"

"Just a simple compound of aloes and olive oil. It helps soften the rough spots, and it's soothing, too. Gabrielle and I both use it."

"Somehow, Xena, I don't picture you with tired feet. Or tired at all."

"It's all part of the reputation, Joxer. I don't get to relax very often."

Joxer gave Xena a smile. It was the kind of smile Xena rarely saw on his face, neither goofy nor puppy-expectant nor beaming with love for Gabrielle. But then Xena was almost the only person Joxer could be honest with, when he was being honest with himself, that is. Gabrielle was another, now that he had gotten over his fear that she might laugh at him. Curiously, the Amazons were also exceptions, dating from his first meeting with them; at the time he had been so concerned about Gabrielle's welfare that he forgot to be pretentious.

The reverse was also true. Besides Gabrielle, Joxer was one of the few persons with whom Xena could let down her own guard. Perhaps he had traveled with her long enough that he did not need to be in awe of her.

"When I've finished Gabby's feet, you're next," he told Xena.

"You're on," the Warrior Princess replied, "but I'll take my boots off by the water." They both chuckled.

Gabrielle returned. "I heard that," she pouted.

"At least my nose still works after all those tweakings you gave me!" Joxer retorted.

The bells pealed again in Gabrielle's voice. Xena patted Joxer on the back and walked to the creek. Gabrielle sat down, carefully tucked her skirt between her legs and placed one foot in Joxer's lap. He rubbed some of the oil on his hands, then took the foot and started working the compound into the skin. He applied a gentle but firm pressure to the ball of her foot. Gabrielle jerked spasmodically at first.

"That tickles," she complained.

"Sorry." Joxer increased the pressure slightly, rubbing across the foot just below the toes, switching occasionally to cover the length along the arch. From time to time, he gave the toes individual attention. Still ticklish, the foot moved reflexively until the tension drained, then it relaxed.

Sighing with pleasure, Gabrielle relaxed, too. "Ohhh... you've hit the right spot. You knew just where to go."

"Something I picked up at Meg's," Joxer said guiltily. He briefly massaged Gabrielle's ankle, then the calf muscles. Xena, back after washing her own feet, eyed Joxer suspiciously, but was satisfied when she saw that he would not go any higher up her friend's leg. He resumed his attentions on the bard's foot and Xena started to gather the ingredients for dinner. Joxer then ministered to Gabrielle's other foot with similar results.

Slowly and gently, the bard let her breath out. "I could do this forever," she said. Her stomach rumbled. "Duty calls. I'd better get dinner started. Thank you, Joxer." She gave his hand a friendly squeeze and got up.

"My pleasure," he said truthfully. "Your turn, Xena."

The Warrior Princess sat and Joxer repeated his actions for her. He was not surprised to discover that she wasn't ticklish. He tried to tickle Xena's foot anyway.

"You are suicidal," she remarked.

"Sorry. I just had to know."

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Are you going to rub my feet, or what?" Xena pretended to complain.

"Rubbing." He resumed. "Gabby looks so domestic," he said to change the subject.

"You can take Gabrielle out of the village," the Warrior Princess joked, "but..."

"Hey! I'm hardly the girl from Poteidaia any more," the bard retorted.

"Well, that's true," Xena freely admitted.

Gabrielle had started a pot of soup, and was busily skinning and dressing a few rabbits her partner had brought down earlier. Xena took some sticks and vines she had placed next to herself and improvised a simple spit as Joxer continued to rub her feet and calves. She handed the result to Gabrielle, who put the rabbits on it and then steeped some herb tea. Joxer stood, changed position and shifted his hands to Xena's tired shoulders.

"Oooh, that feels good, too. I think we'll keep you, Joxer," Xena said.

"You didn't rub my shoulders," Gabrielle said with mock jealousy.

"You don't wear armor all day, either," Joxer replied. "Speaking of which..." He straightened again and removed his own. He looked better without it. Xena stretched and accepted a cup of tea from Gabrielle.

"Why aren't you like this more often?" Xena asked Joxer.

"What, a glorified cabana boy?" he asked in turn.

"No... I mean, why aren't you more like yourself?"

His voice lowered to the point where Gabrielle could barely hear him. "I don't need to prove anything to you two, I guess. Except..." He stopped, unwilling to discuss his love for the bard even though Gabrielle was well aware of it and had not scorned him. Xena understood.

"You'll get your chance," Xena softly assured him. "You're right," she continued in a normal conversational tone. "You proved yourself when you first met us. That's the Joxer we know and care about, not 'Joxer the Mighty.' Here, have some tea."

Thanking Xena, he took it, grateful for the encouragement. He went to his own bags and contributed to dinner some bread, cheese and a few of the last apples of the season. He wandered over to the simmering soup and glanced a question at Gabrielle, who nodded and let him take a taste. Xena tugged her boots on again.

Gabrielle sat down next to her. "Letting your guard down in front of Joxer? That's not like you." She sipped her tea.

"It's not like I have anything to prove to him, either. Besides, something's different since he admitted to you that he loves you. He isn't as obnoxious as he used to be. Sometimes he reminds me of when I first met you."

"You're kidding!"

"No, I'm not. All you ever needed was for someone to believe in you, and that's all Joxer ever needed. Now he has us."

Joxer rejoined them. "Not that I'm as good at this as Gabby is, but dinner's not ready yet."

"Thanks," Gabrielle said. "You know, when you're on the road all the time, it's nice to be able to relax with your friends." She drank some more tea.

Xena refreshed everyone's cups. Nothing needed to be said as they let the late afternoon breeze caress them. Joxer closed his eyes and smiled. He may not have won his Gabby's heart yet, but he did have her friendship, and he placed a high value on that. Xena was unreadable. Gabrielle smiled at them both, understanding. Her most beloved friend was right. In some ways, she hadn't left Poteidaia; she had two friends who occupied that place in her heart. Not that Joxer could ever replace Perdicas... she remembered that he didn't want to do that. Anyway, Joxer deserved his own place.

Gabrielle got up and stirred the soup again. She tasted it, then checked the rabbits. Everything was just right. "Soup's on," she announced, and began to serve it up as Joxer took the rabbits off the spit.

They ate quietly for a little while. "You know why I don't go into Athens very often?" Xena offered.

"I always wondered," Gabrielle replied. "I know you don't care much for cities."

"That isn't the only reason," the Warrior Princess acknowledged. "Have you ever noticed how hard it is to get a hot meal there? Some Sophist has 'em all convinced that hot food is bad for you."

Gabrielle laughed. "I never thought you would take as much interest in food as..." Her voice trailed off and she blushed.

"...as you do," Joxer finished for her. "Hey, watch it!" Gabrielle grabbed his nose with a greasy hand and lightly tweaked it. "At least wipe your hands first."

The bard complied, wiping her hands on a cloth, then tweaked his nose again.

"Ask and you shall receive," Xena said. She allowed Joxer to touch his fist to her shoulder lightly. Then she yawned. "I don't know about you, but after we clean this up, I need to get some sleep. How come training Joxer is harder work than fighting a warlord, Gabrielle?"

"Because warlords are predictable, and Joxer isn't?" Gabrielle suggested. She tousled the clumsy warrior's dark hair. "Seriously, each of us choose certain people whose examples we follow, and others that we don't want to be like. For instance, Xena, you try to follow Lao Ma and avoid Alti. I follow your good side, and people like Ephiny, but avoid Callisto and Najara."

"What about me?" Joxer asked, curious.

Gabrielle studied him seriously. He accepted the scrutiny, happy that he wasn't being blown off. This time, of course, he was the topic of conversation.

"You follow Xena and me," she concluded. "That's the easy part, and I don't mean on the road. No, the hard part is this: who are the people you avoid? I think it's your father and Jett, and it's hard for you because you have to learn some of their skills."

Joxer hung his head sorrowfully, but not in shame.

Xena nodded. "It makes sense. They pushed you to be like them, Joxer, but you didn't want that. Then, when you were punished and taunted for failing, you pretended you were all the things that you were not. Overcoming that has been the hardest struggle of all."

The bard gently placed her hand under Joxer's chin and lifted his head up so his brown eyes were looking directly into her green ones. "I haven't always recognized what you've done over the years, but I am proud to have you as a friend, Joxer the Mighty."

He was puzzled. Gabrielle almost never addressed him that way; it was his imaginary persona. "How come you're..."

"Because for one group of people, 'Joxer the Mighty' isn't a phony character. I happen to be their queen." She hugged him then, and held him for a long time. He felt Xena's supportive hand on his back as well.

"You two are worn out," Gabrielle observed after the hug. "I'll take the first watch."

Once they had cleared away the remnants of dinner, cleaned pots and dishes and made sure the fire was properly built for the night, Xena practically threw herself onto her bedroll. Though he was fading fast, Joxer gave Gabrielle a shoulder rub, a favor that she returned. Already nodding off under the touch of her sweet hands, he was led to his blanket, where he sank into slumber.

"'He doesn't need a place to hide,'" she softly sang to herself.

The last rays of sunset disappeared.

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