Xena had gone to the blacksmith first to take care of Argo's needs. The matter was settled quickly, and for only ten dinars at that. Not only would Argo's new shoes be high quality, but Xena had learned a thing or two about bargaining from her best friend.

Joxer walked past, whistling happily and waving at her. Xena waved back.

Whatever Gabrielle told him, he's out of the dumps now, she thought.

Xena proceeded to Salmoneus's stand, where Gabrielle quickly joined her. Salmoneus had some new merchandise up, but without the perfume things were slow. One man was present, bargaining perfunctorily for a few pieces of costume jewelry. Then he saw the newcomers and his sour expression lit up as a new candle brightens a room. Unfortunately he hadn't shaved that morning, and the picture thus presented wasn't exactly handsome.

"What a radiant beauty! Forget these trinkets - you have any good stuff, peddler?"

Gabrielle and Xena exchanged puzzled looks. "He means you," each said simultaneously to the other.

"No, I mean the strawberry blonde vision in the green - well, you're wearing it, so it must be beautiful! I'm Orthus, and I think I love you!"

"Now hold on, Orthus," Salmoneus said. "I saw her first!"

"Yeah, right. She's going to prefer a balding little traveling salesman to a man with land and livestock?"

"You know what they say about farmers' daughters. They've smelled too much livestock to want the likes of you."

"Hey, are you saying I smell like a farm animal?" He shook his fist at Salmoneus.

"Oh, this is absolutely fabulous!" Aphrodite giggled to herself with delight.

Gabrielle raised her hands. "Boys, you just stop that! Nobody's fighting over me. I don't even know you, Orthus. And you do know me, Salmoneus, so you know I'm not seeing anybody right now, and certainly not either of you."

Crestfallen, the men lowered their heads.

"Salmoneus, you wouldn't happen to have a lute for sale?" Xena asked to break the mood.

"You know, Xena, I think I do!" He rummaged in the cart a moment and came up with it. It was almost new, the wood well-joined and the parts sound. With another dreamy look on his face he handed the lute to Gabrielle, who examined it carefully. She plucked the strings, producing a nice tone. Tuning the instrument, she strummed it experimentally.

"Not bad at all," she pronounced. "How much?"

"For you, beautiful one, it's free. Free! What am I saying? But it's for you. Of course it's free."

"Salmoneus, I don't know what happened to you, but I insist on paying for this lute. It's not for me; it's going to be a gift. Now how much?"

Slipping back into a more professional mode, he took it back and looked it over. "Well, let's see... well-crafted, hardly used... professional discount..."

"Salmoneus..."

"For real. Eight dinars."

Gabrielle was surprised. That was what she expected to bargain him down to.

"Done," she said quickly, and gave Salmoneus the money before he could change his mind.

"Do you play?" Orthus asked with a sigh.

"Only the pipes," Gabrielle replied warily.

"Would you play them for me?" he begged.

"You were right, Gabrielle," Xena broke in. "Something is wrong. Let's finish getting our supplies and find out what it is."

Orthus was timidly trying to put his arm around Gabrielle's bare waist. Quickly extracting herself from his reach, she told him, "Go home, Orthus. Take a cold shower."

"Yes, most beautiful lady!" He ran off, presumably to do as she told him.

With some difficulty Salmoneus was persuaded not to pack up his stand and join the companions, and they resumed purchasing their supplies. At each stall and booth it was the same: an offer to give Gabrielle the merchandise for free, accompanied by infatuated looks and expressions of romance. One man even attempted to whisper sweet nothings in the bard's ear, but Xena interposed herself, and even his suddenly expressed love for Gabrielle had to face reality before the stern look of the tall ex-warlord. At scandalously low prices the women picked up everything they needed, plus a small group of men following Gabrielle everywhere she went, keeping a discreet distance.

"I think we'd better hole up at Minya's until we figure out what's going on," Gabrielle suggested. "Ever since I put on that perfume men have been looking at me the way Joxer does. No, wait a sec - Joxer's better behaved than they are. He tries to respect me, at least."

"That he does," Xena agreed. "I wouldn't mind another session in Minya's hot tub, either. While we're at it, I can scrub that perfume off you."

Aphrodite, clapping her hands like a small child, chose this moment to depart.

Joxer approached the hive cautiously, but the bees were having none of it and flew at him again. He ran, and after a few moments the bees turned back. Returning, the bees chased him off a second time, then a third. This was not working.

All right, I can't get close enough to build a fire by the bees, so maybe I should bring the fire to them.

Improvising a torch and sticking several leaves in it so they would smoke, he lit the result and drew near the tree for the fourth time. The bees buzzed angrily around the coughing Joxer but avoided the smoke that surrounded him.

Now he was faced with the problem of building a fire one-handed. Slowly he gathered twigs, small sticks and leaves, piling them at the base of the tree. Then he looked up - wrong tree. He laboriously shifted the pile to the correct spot.

Just as he was about to light the wood with his torch, a rough hand took him by the shoulder and spun him around. A dagger was pressed against his throat. A dark face regarded him with amusement.

"Joxer."

"H- hello, Draco."

"Wherever you are, Gabrielle is usually nearby. Isn't that so?"

"Y- yes, Draco."

"I could kill you now and no one would be the wiser. Then the field will be clear for me."

Joxer gulped.

"But," Draco sighed, "I suppose Gabrielle wouldn't like it. I love her too much to have a little thing like your death get between us." He lowered his dagger.

The clumsy warrior took a deep breath of relief and immediately fell into spasms of coughing from the smoke that still surrounded him. Draco passed up the cheap laugh, choosing instead to stare down any and all bees that dared to approach him.

"Honey, eh?" the warlord noted. He thrust his hand into the beehive and scooped a huge amount into the pot Joxer had brought for the purpose. Then Draco turned and walked off, licking the raw honey from his hand. "Stay far away from Gabrielle," he warned. "I intend to marry her."

Joxer's heart broke. "You can't!" he cried. "You don't love her! It was just one of Cupid's arrows!"

Draco ignored him.

Predictably, Minya and Hower were necking when Xena and Gabrielle returned. They came up for air, only slightly embarrassed.

"Hey, Gabrielle, this stuff really works!" Minya declared. "Hower just loves it."

Hower said nothing. He only had eyes for Gabrielle.

"Don't you, Hower? Hower?" His fianc*e nudged him.

"Oh, yeah. Beautiful," he sighed.

Xena raised an eyebrow. Just what has Salmoneus cooked up? Gabrielle couldn't be the perfect match for that perfume. Hmmm...

"Minya," she asked, "do you think you could fire up that bath of yours?"

"Sure," she replied. "Come on, Hower, let's get the water heated up. Hower!"

Reluctantly, he tore his gaze from the bard. Minya took his hand and yanked him out of the room.

"This is beginning to scare me," Gabrielle told Xena. "Are you sure it's the perfume?"

"It's the best lead we've got," her friend answered. "Maybe the only one."

Minya returned. "Something's weird. He was all over me, then you come in and suddenly it's like when the giant was coming. I like you guys, but I don't want to lose Hower."

"He loves you, Minya," Gabrielle assured her. "That's going to come through no matter what happens."

"Yeah," Xena agreed. "We fixed the problem together before, and we'll do it again. Could you do us another favor, though? I'd like to hide this lute in your bedroom. It's a surprise for Joxer."

Minya took the instrument and examined it. "Nice surprise," she said. "Sure. Come on, I'll stow it away while you get undressed. I don't know how you put up with wearing that armor all the time, Xena. You need to relax."

The Warrior Princess gave her a sunny smile. "I'd like that, Minya. This is one of the few places I can do that."

In a matter of minutes Xena was down to her undertunic, while Gabrielle had borrowed a light robe. While they waited patiently for the bath to be filled, they listened to anguished male squawks from outside as Minya chased off the knot of men loitering near the house. A few needed more than words as persuasion, and Minya's whip cracked several times to disperse them.

"It's like when you were obsessed with yourself," Xena noticed. You thought no man could resist you. Those men sure couldn't."

"Jealous, Xena?"

"Get real, Gabrielle. If I wanted a man I'd probably have him. Besides, you're right about me liking the 'bad' boys. Borias, Draco, Marcus..."

"Caesar?"

Xena winced. "Yeah, even Caesar. Rafe was cute, but... just a bit of a fling. Now Autolycus..."

"When he isn't so full of himself he's kinda hot, you know?"

"Now who's jealous? He kissed me, not you."

"Yeah, but that was before Gabrielle No. 5."

"So you want to give all this up and be a spokesmodel for Salmoneus?" Xena gave her most beloved friend a look of mock disapproval. Gabrielle dissolved into uncontrollable giggling.

Minya came in. "Gee, what's gotten into all the guys? They're hanging around like a bunch of shiftless louts. Anyway, bath's ready. I made Hower go out the back door. No telling what he'd do if he saw you two in there."

Still giggling, Gabrielle proceeded directly to the hot tub, followed by Xena. The moment the bard removed her robe, Xena shoved her in. Gabrielle screamed with surprise just before hitting the water with a huge splash that drenched Xena. Removing her soggy undertunic, the Warrior Princess joined her friend. Gabrielle tried to duck Xena under but failed miserably, and had to settle for playfully splashing more water on her. Now giggling herself, Xena seized the soap and Gabrielle, and began to attack the perfume.

"How come you're always washing behind my ears?" Gabrielle laughed.

"Because you never do it right yourself," Xena teased. That earned her another splash in her direction.

"Business before pleasure, huh?"

"I guess so. Hey, you, stop squirming!"

Gabrielle slipped free and submerged herself. Xena bent down to pull her back up, which was a mistake, as Gabrielle's arm came up and dragged Xena the rest of the way under the water. They both came up spluttering and laughing. After attending to the more serious business of washing up, not to mention scrubbing every last vestige of Gabrielle No. 5 off its namesake, they relaxed, soaking in the tub.

"Now this is the life, don't you think, Xena?"

"Just a day in it," she replied.

"You should pamper yourself a little more often. Dress up a little. Enjoy some nice things."

"And lose my edge. It's all right, Gabrielle. I do enjoy some nice things. Relaxing by the campfire with you. A good meal every once in a while. This bath. Fishing. Your stories, especially the ones that aren't about me. Joxer's lute playing."

"Joxer's lute playing?"

"Sure. You remember that song he wrote about us."

"Yeah, that was sweet."

"I don't know why, but for all the trouble he gets into, I like having him around."

"You could always get a dog. They're just as loyal, and maybe smarter," Gabrielle suggested.

"Oh, come on now, admit it. You like him, too."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do. You can't sandbag me, Gabrielle."

"I guess not. Yes, I do like him. He's a ready audience, he cares about us both a lot and..." She hesitated.

"Go ahead, Gabrielle."

"I don't want to hurt you, Xena."

"Too late, if that's going to happen. Let it out."

"He accepts me without question. Who I am, what I am."

Xena smiled. "You're right. I'm a challenger, Gabrielle. I can be tough on you, like I am on myself. We've got our differences, too, and they clash. We've hurt each other and grown together. I question you, sometimes, and you question me. We both need that, you know. I've been so used to being obeyed without question that I forget that you've got your own point of view. One that's right when I'm wrong."

"You're not wrong often."

"But when I am, I don't admit it easily. That makes it hard on you. I'm sorry, Gabrielle, for hurting you like that."

The bard gave Xena a slippery hug. "That's all right. If I couldn't cut you a lot of slack I'd be a lousy friend. But I'll keep telling you when I think you're wrong."

"You'd better," Xena mock-warned.

They were surprised by another pail of hot water. Turning around, they discovered Hower trying to cover his eyes and stare at Gabrielle at the same time.

"Hower, get out of here!" Xena yelled. Gabrielle ducked under the water again.

Fearful of "the look," Hower fled, but a split second later there was a resounding crash, and a pot of honey flew into the room. Xena caught it.

"So that's where you sent Joxer," she said.

"Xena! Gabrielle!" Joxer called from outside the room. "Draco's coming!"

Xena climbed out of the tub and began to dry herself. "Did you see how many men he had with him?"

"No, I was lucky he decided not to kill me. But he said he wanted to marry you, Gabrielle."

"Well, that's a relief," Xena replied. "At least he's not here to pillage."

\"You think that's a relief?" Gabrielle complained, emerging from the water to grab some towels herself. "I've already got half the village mooning over me and now Draco wants to get into the act? You should have had Cupid take the spell off him, too."

"Then we'd have a bigger problem. He's tractable, now. With that perfume off you, Draco should be the only man you have to worry about." Xena called to Joxer outside the room: "Go back and check his army out. I don't think he'll bother you."

"I hope not," Joxer replied. The sounds of his clanking armor receded.

"Draco's not the only man I have to worry about. There's Joxer."

"Joxer's not a problem, for a change."

"He will be if he gets in Draco's way, Xena. Don't you ever get tired of coming to the rescue?"

"It comes with the territory. I rescue you, you rescue me, both of us rescue Joxer and the world keeps turning 'round." Xena smiled. Both women, wrapped in towels and drying their hair, returned to Minya's bedroom to change into their clothes.

The men had not returned by the time Gabrielle cautiously left the house. Xena had decided to do a bit of scouting herself, so the bard returned to the agora, determined not to let Draco's arrival spoil her day. Also back was Aphrodite, who continued to remain unseen.

A small girl tugged on Gabrielle's skirt. "Miss, have you seen my mommy? She's been shopping, and I went to look at some toys, and I don't know where she is."

"Well, little one, she hasn't missed you yet. We could look around for her, but listen sharp! She'll be calling your name any time now." Gabrielle took the girl's hand. "My name's Gabrielle. What's yours?"

"I'm Karan. Oh, look, there's mommy now!"

A rather worried woman was approaching. The girl ran to her and hugged her. "There you are, you little scamp," the woman said, smiling. "Toys again, I'll wager. You know I can't afford many."

"It's all right, mommy. They're pretty, but the ones you give me are the best."

"Thanks for looking out for my little girl. She's precocious," the mother told Gabrielle. "My name is Donna. You've met Karan already."

"What's ''coshus?'" Karan asked.

"It means," Gabrielle said, "you get into a lot of mischief, but you're still a good girl."

"Gee, you're smart, Gabrielle."

"Why, thank you! I guess a bard has to be smart."

"Mommy! She's a bard! Gabrielle, could you please tell me a story? Mommy, could she tell me a story?"

"Now, don't impose on the nice young lady, Karan."

"It's all right. Telling stories is what I do. Here's a log we can sit on." They did so, Gabrielle blissfully unaware that every male eye in the vicinity had been turned to her for the past several minutes. However, she quickly noticed the crowd of men that edged out the small boys, who were in turn blocking the curious girls from approaching.

"Look, you guys, let the children come up close so they can hear. Especially the girls. It isn't nice to leave them out!"

Grudgingly, they gave way, and a circle formed around the bard.

"Now you've all heard about King Midas, right?"

"Yes!" a boy said. "Couldn't he touch things and turn them into gold?"

"And didn't his daughter kiss him and turn into a golden statue?" Karan added.

"Uh-huh," Gabrielle replied, "but Bacchus helped him fix everything. This is another story that came later." She continued:

"One day Apollo and Pan had an argument about who played the best tunes. So they went to Tmolus the mountain god to judge between them. King Midas found out about the contest, and brought many people to hear it. First Pan played his pipes. It was a sweet, simple melody, just like the shepherds play while they watch their flocks. King Midas could feel the breeze in the meadow, and the echo of the sheep's voices in the hills as they went 'baaa...baaa...' Pan tapped his foot to the beat of the dance, and everyone who heard the pipes wanted to dance, too. King Midas felt very happy and peaceful.

"Then it was Apollo's turn. He strummed his lyre, and it was if the sun rose in the sky. Majestic and grand, it crossed the heavens and lit the fields and forests with golden light. Each note seemed like the voice of one of the Muses calling to the heart. Everyone saw the light and glory, and the warmth of the music took away every chill. King Midas was full of joy as he listened to Apollo's melody.

"When the music ended, Pan and Apollo turned to Tmolus to find out who won. 'Surely the prize goes to Apollo, for he has the greater skill, and calls upon the most powerful emotions,' the mountain god told the people.

"King Midas did not agree. 'I do not begrudge the shining one his prize, but Pan's playing was just as good and touched the heart as powerfully,' he said.

"'Fool!' Apollo cried. 'You listen with the ears of a donkey, so I shall give them to you!'

"'Why punish me because I liked you both?' King Midas asked. 'No one can match your music, Apollo, but there are times when people like to hear simple tunes as well. There's nothing wrong to want to hear more than one kind of music, or to like more than one kind of music. I like to hear Pan, and that takes nothing away from you. Give me donkey's ears if you must, but give Pan a prize, too. Better still, why don't you both play together?'

"The two gods tried it, and everyone was surprised at how well the two different instruments sounded. Sometimes Apollo would take the lead, sometimes Pan, but best of all was when both played in harmony. Tmolus started to pound a beat on a hollow log that sounded like thunder on his mountain. Everyone danced to the wonderful music. Nothing like it had ever been heard before.

"When it was over, Apollo was very pleased. 'Come, Pan,' he said, 'let's go to Olympus together and celebrate the new music we created. King Midas, you are responsible for this wonder, and I owe you a debt of gratitude. I will bless your land with sunshine to grow your crops - but not too much! They need rain, too.'

"'I, too, will bless your land,' Pan said. 'Your people will have many sheep, and the sheep will grow fat on the grass that grows under Apollo's sun.'

"So each of us is different, but that doesn't mean one person is always better than another. When we work together, as Pan and Apollo did, everyone is happier.

"And King Midas? His kingdom is richer than ever."

The story earned a round of applause from the crowd, which had grown considerably as she told it. Toward the back she saw a number of soldiers, Draco's men, listening with rapt interest to every word. Getting up, she hugged Karan and her mother, and started to push through the gathering in search of Xena, who couldn't be too far away. As mothers pulled reluctant boys away from her, a man accosted the bard.

"That was a wonderful story! I'm Stavro. Marry me and I'll show you even greater riches than King Midas ever imagined!"

"No!" one of Draco's lieutenants denied, staring down the men around him. "Marry me: Metaxas! My sword will protect you from all this riff-raff!"

"Riff-raff!" several men shouted angrily. Shoving matches began. "Do you insult me before this beautiful maiden?" one cried.

"Forget them," a rangy man advised suavely. "Travel with me. My name is Dion. I'm the type of guy that likes to roam around."

A portion of the circle parted as Xena roughly cleared a path for herself. "Back off!" she demanded. "She's not interested."

"One night with me and she'll have all the interest she needs," Stavro asserted. He was tall and fair, with hazel eyes, and powerfully built. Not powerfully enough. Xena straight-armed him, and he fell into Dion's arms. Dion dropped him.

Aphrodite, standing next to Gabrielle, began to giggle again. "This is getting good!"

"Come, pretty one. You're never in one place as a bard. I'm never in one place, either. I roam from town to town," Dion told Gabrielle.

"I already have a partner," she said. "Xena."

"But can Xena love you the way I do?" Metaxas asked. "I am the greatest lover you could ever have! You may take me now, if it's your desire."

"I'll take a raincheck," Gabrielle replied, regaining the side of the Warrior Princess. "Xena, let's get out of here. It's not the perfume, is it?"

"Sure doesn't look like it," Xena answered.

They broke through the group of men, only to be confronted by Draco, who was holding Joxer high in the air by the back of his neck.

"This is yours, Xena. I don't know how long I can put up with his interference, even as futile as he is."

"Put him down gently. He's my friend, and I don't have to put up with him. I accept him."

"So do I," Gabrielle added. "You wouldn't want me to be upset with you, now would you?"

"No, of course not." Draco lowered Joxer, setting him on his feet without a jolt.

"Thanks, Gabby," Joxer said. "You too, Xena."

"Don't mention it," the bard replied, affably. "Now what is this about you wanting to marry me, Draco?"

"You know that my heart has burned with love for you ever since the temple of Hestia. I've stopped looting and pillaging, and even killing for the most part. My army is now for hire by any good king or city. Pickings can be slim, but it's all for the greater good. And I want to be good to earn your love. Have I earned your love, Gabrielle?"

"I don't know," she temporized, knowing full well she didn't love Draco at all. Even Joxer had a better chance. "I haven't seen you in action."

At this moment several shouts of female outrage interrupted the conversation. "You cheat! I bought this perfume, but my husband won't look at me, only that blonde hussy over there!" one cried.

"Yeah! I want my money back!"

"Me, too!"

"Let's beat it out of him!"

"Help, Gabrielle, help!" Salmoneus yelled.

"I think that's your cue, Draco," Gabrielle directed.

Taking Metaxas by the arm, he had him select five other men, and together they broke through the crowd of women and stood guard over Salmoneus. Xena and Gabrielle followed them and joined the entrepreneur.

All right now, what happened this time?" Xena asked. Predictably, everyone began to talk at once. "One at a time!" she shouted. "You first, Salmoneus."

"Well," he replied, shaking, "these ladies seem to think that Gabrielle No. 5 is causing their men to ignore them and chase after the real Gabrielle. I know I'd like to. So they want their money back."

"Yeah!" several women agreed. "We want it now!" a housewife added. More voices assented to this.

"Wait a minute, I'm not wearing it any more." Gabrielle turned to her new friends. "Here, Donna, see if you can smell any on me." Donna came up with Karan in tow, took a sniff and shook her head. "Just olive oil soap," she pronounced.

"I don't understand," Draco said. "All these men are attracted to my beautiful Gabrielle?"

"What do you mean, 'your' beautiful Gabrielle, Draco?" Metaxas asked. "She's mine!"

"No, she's not, she's mine!" Dion claimed.

"Hardly! One kiss from the lips of Nikias and she'll forget all you losers," said a dark-haired man about Gabrielle's height.

"Forget it, Nikias! I saw her at the booth before you did," Stavro said, and she's going to play her pipes for only me!"

"Tartarus, I am!" Gabrielle asserted.

The women grumbled, deciding Gabrielle was the cause of all their problems.

"Stop it, all of you!" Xena declared. "Something strange is happening, and I intend to find out what it is before someone gets hurt."

"Yes," Gabrielle agreed. Why is it that the two men I know are in love with me are behaving themselves, and all you total strangers think I'm the greatest thing since Hermes invented the lyre?"

Joxer's heart leaped within him to hear a crumb of approval from the woman he loved. "I don't know," he said, "but I've got an idea. If I can talk to you two privately," he suggested to Gabrielle and Xena.

"Sounds good to me," Xena said. "Draco, why don't you make sure Salmoneus here doesn't get lynched before we come back? And you men, if you follow Gabrielle, you'll have me to deal with. Got it?"

In murmured tones the men demonstrated that they had indeed gotten it.

Xena led Gabrielle and Joxer back to Minya's place.

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