"You're an odd one," Philippis told Joxer. She had removed her mask, revealing a sunny face and brown eyes. Her long hair was also dark brown. "Ctessa was right. You should be staring at me. You're not one of those misogynists, are you?"

"A missing gymnast?"

"No, I mean a man who hates women."

Joxer's mouth opened in surprise. "No! I never...I mean, I never did it with...I've only been with women...uh, what am I saying?"

"That you aren't a misogynist, or homosexual, for that matter," Philippis replied with a smile.

"Oh," Joxer said softly. "No, you're all pretty, and shapely, too, but that's not important. Gabrielle is."

The light dawned on the Amazon warrior. "You made me take you prisoner because you thought I would take you to the queen," she said.

"That's right," Joxer agreed. "It's not working. Who is this Ephiny?"

"She is our regent. Ephiny rules in Gabrielle's absence, which seems to be most of the time," Philippis sighed.

"Oh, yeah, I remember now. I read in Gabby's scrolls how Ephiny trained her, and about that Velasca and all. I can trust Ephiny."

"You read it? How well do you know our queen?"

"Not well enough. She and Xena let me travel with them sometimes. We beat the Bacchae, helped Ares get his godhead back, saved Cleopatra's life, mighty deeds like that."

Somehow, I think it was mostly Xena and Gabrielle who did those things. Philippis searched the clumsy warrior's eyes. He was there, though. I know enough of the stories Queen Gabrielle wrote. Perhaps he helped a little - say, he must be the silly oaf Gabrielle mentioned.

"You are telling the truth," the Amazon concluded. "No one else could admit to being you." The jibe sailed over Joxer's head. "I'm Philippis," she continued, and offered her hand to clasp, which Joxer did with a warrior's greeting.

"Thanks for the help," he said. "I must have taken a wrong turn on that road."

"It's not clearly marked," she replied, "but it is the official safe route that the villagers on this side of our lands use. You're lucky we decided years ago that not every intruder is a threat. Some tribes would have killed you outright, lost or not."

"I figured I was safe enough. Gabby wouldn't be your queen if you were a bunch of savages."

"I wouldn't put it that way if I were you," Philippis warned. "I admit we Amazons are different, but we're just as civilized as anyone else. We don't have the refinements of Athens or Corinth, but then again it can be tough out here."

"No offense intended. You guys remind me of my mom. She's strong and independent, too. Gabby really fits in with you."

"Then no offense is taken. Few men choose to understand us. Perhaps they fear that strong women will take away their cherished privileges."

"Maybe they should," Joxer mused, half to himself. One of those cherished privileges was picking on people they thought weak or different. Joxer was usually oblivious to such treatment, but he had been hurt enough times to resent it. If the Amazon was surprised that the warrior treated her with respect, he was equally surprised that the reverse was also true, and he responded warmly. He had almost forgotten his main concern, but now it pushed itself to the fore.

"Do you know what happened to Gabrielle?" he asked.

"Some of our neighbors, villagers and centaurs, had negotiated a peace treaty. Callisto turned up and killed several people to draw Xena and Gabrielle out. They defeated her, but a boy died. It was said that the boy was Xena's son, and that Callisto didn't kill him, but a young girl did. The girl was Queen Gabrielle's daughter."

"Wait a second. Gabby wasn't gone that long."

"It is a mystery. Whatever happened, Xena blamed the queen for the boy's death, and left her. The girl is also dead. So much Ephiny told us. I saw the sorrow and pain in my queen's eyes. Perhaps the reason she chose purification is that she blames herself, too."

For this, Joxer had no answer, and the two continued along the trail in silence for some time.

Solari's team had spent a miserable night after the light had failed and they could no longer track Xena, huddling together for warmth near the small fire they had lit and chewing on dried meat for a modest meal. They resumed the search before dawn as the sky began to grow lighter.

Sure of the trail, Hyale suddenly stopped and raised a hand, halting the others.

"What is it?" Solari asked. There was nothing in plain sight, only rocks, sky and occasional patches of snow, with brown grass all around and a few small trees here and there.

"More tracks up ahead," the scout reported. "I need to look at them."

Solari joined Hyale, and the War Leader soon saw the faint marks that Hyale had spotted first with her keen sight.

"Xena," the tracker declared. "She came down from the mountain top. She may be circling back...there!"

The mark was almost invisible, for the ground was not soft, but easily read once seen. It was the print of a horseshoe; Xena had remounted Argo.

"Circling back our way?" Solari suggested, meaning Amazon territory, not the patrol.

"It seems likely," Hyale agreed. "We could try to head her off. I can't tell how much of a lead she has on us."

The War Leader shrugged. "It's worth a try."

"Do you think Xena may have finally decided to forgive Gabrielle?"

"Anything is possible. We'll find out when we see her again."

Gathering up the rest of the women, they turned back to the village.

Except perhaps for the lack of men and the curious garb of the women, the Amazon village seemed much like any other: wooden and thatch buildings, pots drying on racks before they were to be fired in the kiln, Amazons bustling about on their business. The decorations were also different, consisting mainly of skins, feathers and carved horns or bones, but otherwise it was almost homey.

Curious stares greeted Philippis and her prisoner when they arrived. Joxer was all eyes and looked about, but the warrior led him straight to Ephiny, who was standing beside a water barrel. The regent was grim. With Gabrielle still torturing herself, this was no time to have to deal with a minor trespasser.

"My regent," Philippis said, "this man was found straying from the trail. He says that he is a friend of the queen. He is worried about her."

"So you're Ephiny? I'm Joxer," that worthy introduced himself, managing to sound both eager and concerned at the same time. "Can I see Gabrielle?"

"Peace," Ephiny ordered. "Philippis, was he able to prove what he said?"

"He mentioned certain events that are in the queen's stories. It would appear that he has been a traveling companion to her and Xena from time to time." She leaned close and whispered so Joxer would not be offended, "The silly one."

"I see. Well done, Philippis. You should get back to your patrol. I'll handle this."

"Yes, my regent." Philippis saluted, gave Joxer a friendly wave, and left.

Ephiny turned to the would-be warrior. "Welcome, Joxer. I appreciate your concern for Queen Gabrielle. You may guest with us."

"Thanks, but where's Gabby, I mean Queen Gabrielle?"

The regent indicated the purification hut. "In there. No, you can't go in," she said, stopping Joxer in his tracks. "It is our law."

He stared at the building. "I don't get it. Why can't she let her friends help her? Gabby always does when I'm down."

"This is much more serious than being 'down,' Joxer. If Philippis told you anything about the ceremony, you know it is so Gabrielle can purge her soul of the evil that has touched it and of the guilt she feels. Purging her body is a symbol of that."

"I want to help." Joxer began to pace nervously between Ephiny and the hut. "I have to do something, anything, for her." He took his helmet off, made as if to slam it to the ground in frustration, then changed his mind and set it down. He resumed his pacing.

"I can't think of anything right now," the regent told him. "This is the quiet time, when the woman purifying herself is left alone to think things out. Soon new attendants will come in for the next part of the ritual. Then I will tell the queen that you are here."

"Okay. How long has this been going on?"

Ephiny dipped some water from the barrel and drank, wiping her mouth with her hand. "Three days now. She's been undergoing the purification ritual for three days." Ephiny's own frustration had welled up within her again, and her brown eyes were hard.

Joxer stopped pacing and confronted the regent. "That's crazy. Look, we have to get her out." His voice dropped. "She could be dying in there." He pointed at the hut and made as if to go in, law or no law.

Grabbing his arm, Ephiny turned him to face her again. "She was dying out here," she replied. "You didn't see her after the death of her child, the pain she was in, the despair. When she and Xena parted, she came to us."

"If we leave her in there, she's gone." Tight-lipped and tight-faced, he tried again to go to the hut, but Ephiny did not release him. Her own eyes had softened slightly.

"She's already gone," the regent asserted. "Her only chance is to work through the pain."

Though Ephiny could tell that Joxer did not believe that, he did not make for the hut, but slowly walked away in the direction of a guest hut Philippis had pointed out earlier. Ephiny's eyes were slightly softer now. He cares. Damn it, Gabrielle, you're hurting all of us. Find an answer in there, will you?

Inside the purification hut, Gabrielle lay semi-conscious on her bed of fronds. Attendants had dressed her in a loose white chiton before leaving her. The purging had done some good for her body; her skin practically glowed. Still, the ritual was not for her physical health. Gabrielle's mind remained as tortured as her soul, and the effort to change that was draining her energy. ThereÍs no way out. I killed Meridian, and that opened the door for Dahak to rape me. Because of Dahak, I had Hope, and I let Hope kill. Solan is dead, and I canÍt bring him back. I betrayed Xena and nearly had her killed too. Now IÍve lost her love forever. The Amazons donÍt need a murderer, a liar and a betrayer for a queen. I should die now, but I owe it to Ephiny to keep trying...why? ThereÍs no way out.

She decided to rest in anticipation of the next stage. Staring with blank, glassy, half-lidded eyes at the ceiling, she did not even focus her gaze when a gentle hand began to caress her face. One of my Amazons? It seemed out of place, but she went with the touch and closed her eyes, accepting the comfort. Suddenly, a ringing slap made her open her eyes again from the pain. Gabrielle did not feel strong enough to rise.

What she now saw was the face of Callisto, who Gabrielle knew had been safely buried in a cave by Xena. She concluded that she was delirious.

"You're not real," Gabrielle said in a weak voice. "You're in my mind." She looked away from the phantom.

"What difference does it make?" Callisto replied, her appearance uncharacteristically kind. "You came here for the truth, and the truth is that Xena made us both." This caused Gabrielle to look at her again. "She shaped our lives, changed our fates...killed our families."

Gabrielle shook her head and sat up with an effort, the sadness pervading her once more. "No. I killed hers," she told the Warrior Queen. "Solan died because of my daughter."

"Because of Xena you had a daughter. Her hatred for Caesar took you to Britannia." Callisto leaned in close and began to circle Gabrielle.

"Yes," the bard breathed.

"Straight to Dahak, where she deserted you. Isn't that right?"

Gabrielle shook her head again.

"Isn't that right?" Callisto repeated, baring her teeth.

At first numb, Gabrielle felt the pain grow inside. She choked back tears. "Yes," she conceded.

Callisto touched her fingers to Gabrielle's chin, all solicitous, and the bard began to weep. "And you hate her for it, don't you? For betraying you, for failing you - you hate her for it, don't you?" Now she was snarling. "Don't you? Don't you?" she insisted.

"YES!" Gabrielle screamed, then an inarticulate cry of anguish tore itself from her throat.

The apparition of Callisto vanished, to be replaced by the worried visage of... Joxer? No, he can't be here, either. Utterly spent, Gabrielle fell back unconscious.

The entire Amazon village was riveted by that cry, and Ephiny saw Joxer throw all caution away and enter the purification hut. There was no time to stop him. Another shout, that of a woman spurring a horse, caught the regent's attention. Then she heard an all too familiar war cry: "AI-LI-LI-LI-LI-LI-LI-LI!"

Facing the sound, Ephiny could see the murderous expression on the approaching woman's face.

"Xena." Several Amazons moved to protect the regent and the purification hut. "Stop her," Ephiny ordered.

Five Amazons took their spears and set them, forming a line before the regent, prepared to accept Xena's charge. The Warrior Princess kept on coming. Rather than allow Argo to impale herself on the spears, Xena pulled up on the reins and used the momentum of the sudden stop to somersault over the line of spearwomen and confront Ephiny face-to-face. A circle of Amazons, weapons ready, formed around them.

"Xena..." Ephiny warned. She reached out with her left hand to take Xena's chakram. Xena, however, seized Ephiny's arm and with a quick downward motion broke it. The regent involuntarily cried out in pain and bent over, but the remaining Amazons moved warily forward, still reluctant to attack Xena. It was hard to believe that the Warrior Princess had turned on them.

"Where's Gabrielle?" Xena demanded.

At that moment, Joxer emerged from the hut, carrying Gabrielle in his arms. Her head lolled against his shoulder, blonde hair and white chiton streaming in the light breeze.

"Help! Somebody help her!" he cried, his fear for the queen's life apparent to all.

Xena reached for her chakram, presented it, then aimed directly at Gabrielle. Ephiny, rising, deflected Xena's arm. The chakram missed Gabrielle and struck the door to the hut instead.

Knowing now that if Xena was not stopped, Gabrielle was a dead woman, the regent called out, "JOXER, RUN!" Whereupon Xena smashed the defenseless Ephiny, who was holding her injured arm, in the face, knocking her down again.

Joxer hesitated for only a second before breaking out in a lumbering run even as the chakram returned to Xena's hand.

"AMAZONS, ATTACK!" Ephiny now ordered. Phye, who was closest, immediately thrust the point of her spear at Xena's belly, but the Warrior Princess took the spear away from her, drove the butt end into Phye's own gut, then used the spear two-handed to knock her away with a blow to the head. Two more warriors charged and were felled by the swinging spear. When more women converged on her with drawn swords, Xena set the point in the ground and pole-vaulted over them, landing on her feet in front of Joxer, who had almost reached Argo at the village's exit.

Gabrielle had regained consciousness and watched in shock as Xena smiled in satisfaction and removed her whip from Argo's saddle.

"Xena..." she said uncertainly.

Joxer set her on her feet. "Go on, Gabrielle. Run!"

"Joxer..." The bard was naturally confused by the sudden sequence of events, and stayed at his side.

Xena was grinning broadly, but there was no smile in her eyes. It was the grin of a predator, of hatred and vengeance about to be fulfilled. Now Gabrielle understood. Frightened, she turned and ran, but it was too late. With another wordless cry, Xena cracked her whip, catching Gabrielle around the ankles, and pulled. The bard queen fell to the ground.

"Xena, what are you doing?" Joxer demanded, and ran at the Warrior Princess, roaring. He fared no better than the Amazons did. Xena punched him so hard that he, too, went down. Even as she struggled to free herself from the thongs encircling her ankles, Gabrielle saw Joxer strike the ground, hitting the back of his head. He did not rise.

With no opponents for the moment, Xena secured the whip to the saddle of the first horse at hand, which was not Argo but a dark brown gelding. She spared herself a glance at Gabrielle and gave out a maniacal chuckle. Mounting before the Amazons could regroup, she galloped the horse through the village, dragging Gabrielle behind. Xena made subtle shifts in direction so the inertia of Gabrielle's body would smash the bard into racks of pots, through a cooking fire, over rocks and the like on the way to the opposite end of the village. Gabrielle felt it all; terror kept her from the release of unconsciousness.

Lysis and another young Amazon, posted at this exit, saw the Warrior Princess coming at them. They held spears in their hands, but could not bring themselves to face the insane menace, not even when they saw the battered, lacerated, bleeding form of their queen. They stepped aside, and Xena went past.

Within moments, other Amazons ran by them in pursuit. A few cast dark glances at the two young women, but most ignored them.

"Coronis, why didn't you do something?" Lysis asked.

Coronis looked down at her spear, still uselessly held at the ready. "Why didn't you?" she replied. Then she realized that recriminations were useless, that the queen might be dead even now. "Come on, Lysis, we have to go after them." The two turned and ran behind the other Amazons, and considered themselves lucky that the horsewomen who passed them on the trail chose not to trample them.

Ephiny was angry at being out of the action, but she knew that she had to get her broken arm splinted before she could do anything about Xena. While an apprentice healer performed the task, Joxer was brought in and laid on a bed beside her.

"Foolish man," Phye remarked. She wore a bandage on her head.

"Did you do any better?" Ephiny replied coldly. "Yes, he was foolish to try to take on Xena with his bare hands, but he did not want to hurt her, only to buy time for the queen."

"He violated the purification ritual!" the Amazon warrior protested.

"That violation saved the queen's life. Do not be so judgmental. The queen is still in danger. We may all have failed her."

Phye reddened and stormed off, her pride injured more than her body had been. The apprentice followed her.

Joxer stirred and tried to get up. He was obviously dizzy and weak, and it took Ephiny little effort to ease him down with her good hand.

"Gabrielle! Where is she?" he asked.

"I don't know," the regent told him. "Xena dragged her behind a horse. Amazons are in pursuit."

"Which way?"

"You're not going anywhere. You have a concussion. Xena almost killed you."

"But she'll kill Gabrielle!" he cried.

"If she does, Xena dies," Ephiny said without emotion. "May Artemis keep it from coming to that."

The would-be warrior's face was grim. "If it has to happen, then I have to fight beside you," he replied.

"This is a matter of Amazon honor, Joxer, and you aren't very skilled. You would die without striking a blow."

"Well, yes. But I told Xena a long time ago that I would do anything to avenge Gabrielle, even sacrifice my own life. I love her, Ephiny, even if she doesn't love me. If Xena takes away my hope of ever winning Gabrielle's heart, I'm a dead man anyway."

"Then you and your sword are welcome in the service of our queen." Ephiny's tone became formal. "Let it be known that the Amazons regard Joxer the Mighty as their friend." Her voice softened again. "You rest now. And so will I. When we have news, I'll see that you're told immediately."

This appeared to satisfy Joxer, who in any event fell asleep again. The regent got up to tell Therene that Gabrielle's friend had awakened briefly.

Gabrielle and Xena lay in the surf on a beach somewhat removed from the cliff they had fallen from - was it minutes ago, or hours, or days? The sun continued to shine brightly over them. They were laughing in sheer delight to be alive and with each other, to have reconciled their friendship, and especially to have begun facing the problems they should have felt free to discuss before this.

"We have to go back now," Gabrielle said finally, rising to a sitting position. By some quirk of their experience in Illusia, all their wounds had been healed, and Gabrielle was dressed in her usual clothing instead of the white chiton of the purification ritual.

"The Amazons aren't going to be too thrilled to see me again," Xena pointed out.

"I've forgiven you. That should take care of everything."

"Will it? Gabrielle, they have to put me on trial. Are you sure you want that?"

"No, but you have to face them sometime, and Joxer, too. Maybe I can stop the trial. After all, I'm still their queen."

Xena pushed her lower lip against the upper. "You can't. Amazon law is even more important than the word of the queen. But you're right. It's their decision to forgive or to punish - or both - and we can't take that away from them." She stood and helped Gabrielle up. Slowly they walked back toward the village.

They climbed green bluffs as gulls circled overhead. When the women reached the top, they saw riders approaching. Gabrielle and Xena stopped and waited for the searching Amazons to come to them. The leader, Ctessa, dismounted and saluted.

"I am pleased to see that you are not hurt, my queen," Ctessa said. She gave Xena a sidelong glance. Ctessa then indicated a riderless animal. "We found the horse she took abandoned by a cliff and I feared the worst." Her voice grew bitter. "Why are you still with her after what she did?"

"Her name is Xena, Ctessa. Use it."

"Yes, my queen."

"We learned that what happened was not only Xena's fault, but mine, too," Gabrielle said. "We forgave each other."

"If you have forgiven, then we will abide by that. However, Ephiny has issued orders for Xena's arrest. We were to kill Xena if you had been killed."

"I won't resist, Ctessa," Xena replied, removing her swordbelt and chakram. "Take these, Gabrielle."

"No, Xena. This is ridiculous," the bard protested. "I can overrule Ephiny."

"It's all right. I tried to kill you; now I have to accept the consequences of my actions." She offered the weapons to Gabrielle again. "Please...hold them for me."

This time, Gabrielle reluctantly accepted. Xena held out her hands to be bound, but Ctessa shook her head.

"It will not be necessary. Your madness is gone. The queen vouches for you," the captain said through half-clenched teeth.

They mounted, Gabrielle riding behind Xena on the extra horse, and returned to the village.

Their eyes are so hard, Gabrielle noticed. Only three Amazons weren't looking on Xena with naked anger. Two were younger women, who for some reason appeared chastened, with heads hanging down in their shame. Let me see...Lysis and, um, Coronis, I think... The third was the Caduceophora. Therene certainly did not approve of Xena's actions, either, but she looked the Warrior Princess over with the same clinical detachment that she gave Gabrielle.

"I'll want to examine you both more closely," Therene said.

"How are Ephiny and the others?" Gabrielle asked.

"Xena broke a bone in Ephiny's arm," was the reply. "A clean fracture; the bone did not penetrate the skin. It will heal without complications. Joxer has a concussion. He was hit very hard, and he struck the ground headfirst."

"That's our Joxer," Gabrielle said sadly. I'm surprised that he hasn't been hurt worse before this, the way Xena and I manhandle him sometimes. What a time for him not to be wearing his silly helmet! "Will he be all right?"

"Yes," Therene told her. "He needs to stay off his feet for a few days. The others have a nasty assortment of cuts and bruises, but that's not unusual after a fight. It could have been worse. Apparently, Xena had enough self-control to keep from doing serious harm to anyone besides you."

Xena nodded, a downcast expression on her face. It was not her place to speak.

"May I visit them?" Gabrielle asked.

"Of course," the Caduceophora agreed. "Bring Xena along. She needs to see what she did."

Ephiny greeted them in the doorway of the little infirmary attached to the healer's hut. She did the best she could to hug Gabrielle with one arm, and her relief was as open as her distrust of Xena. Ctessa and one of her riders had continued to stay with the Warrior Princess, watching for any false moves.

"You saved my life," Gabrielle said, tears in her eyes.

"Could I do anything less for my sister, let alone my queen?" Ephiny replied. "How did you manage to avoid getting hurt when Xena dragged you behind that horse?" she asked in open disbelief, then decided that it didn't matter. "Never mind. Come, show everyone that you are all right."

Two of the Amazons whom Xena had injured were still nursing their bruises. With a shout, they welcomed Gabrielle as she entered with the group, but gave Xena sullen looks. Joxer, however, was all smiles. He tried to sit up, but one of Therene's assistants held him back, adjusting the compress that had slipped from his forehead.

"I apologize to you all," Xena told the group. "There was no excuse for my actions."

The Amazons responded with a stony silence.

"Ephiny...I should never have hurt you. Gabrielle is right. You saved her life. Thank you."

The regent nodded, accepting the apology, but she continued to glare at the Warrior Princess and pulled her arm away when Xena tried to look at it. Saddened even more than before, Xena turned to Joxer. She leaned over to meet his gaze.

"Joxer, you were right to protect Gabrielle. I'm sorry."

His expression did not change, but now it seemed forced. Behind the smile, the would-be warrior's eyes had a slight hardness behind them also, which disturbed Gabrielle. He allowed Xena to examine his head and accepted some pain-relieving herbs that she offered him.

He's lost some of his innocence, Gabrielle knew. He may act like a jerk, but he does care. The bard bit her lower lip, unable to tell Joxer how she felt.

"Joxer, I..." Xena began again.

"You don't have to say it. Gabby's okay, and you're not acting crazy any more."

"I could have killed you."

"You didn't. But gods, you pack a hard punch!" He tried to chuckle, to make light of it, but none of the Amazons responded. Gabrielle's eyes began to fill with tears. "What did I say?" he asked.

"The right thing," Therene assured him, "but perhaps at the wrong time. You have done well for the queen, but she is also saddened that you and so many others were hurt. Rest now. The faster you heal, the faster you will see a smile on the queen's face."

Gabrielle nodded, still unable to speak. I'm so proud of him. Seeing a sleeping draught for Joxer in the Caduceophora's hand, the bard silently took it and made him drink it. She gently caressed his forehead for a few seconds, then kissed it by way of thanks. He drifted off to sleep.

"Almost...forgot," he mumbled. "Carrots for Argo..."

Gabrielle could not hold her tears back any longer.

...More coming soon!

Please take the time to write to Phil at BroadwayPhil@yahoo.com and let him know how you like the story so far!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
"Xena: Warrior Princess," Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. Dialogue and scenes from The Bitter Suite are © 1998 by StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. Dialogue and scenes from "Owner of a Lonely Heart" are © 1998 by Philip D. Hernández. No infringement of copyrights and trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is © 2001 by Philip D. Hernández and is his sole property along with the story idea. The characters of Lysis, Coronis, Philippis, Phye, Therene, Roswitha, Irana, Amathyia, Hyale and Ctessa are his own creations. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.