Rating: Uhh.. Gabby gets drunk, through no fault of her own... so give it a PG-13??
Subtext: You just don't know. :-)
Sex: NONE
Spoilers: Third Season, I think.
Teaser: A night of gentle care taking cause Gabrielle to reveal some long hidden truths to Joxer, and he discovers that even he has a niche in Gabrielle's world.

He stumbled as he bore the body of the drunken bard up the stairs of the old inn. Stubbing his toe, he squealed, but didn't dare lose his hold on the blonde young woman who tried unsuccessfully to help herself up the stairs.

"Joxer," she slurred, looking up at him through those big green eyes of hers. "I kin take care of myself." And with that she gave him a cheeky grin.

Joxer rolled his eyes and for the fifth time cursed the fact that Xena wouldn't arrive until tomorrow. Thank the Goddess Aphrodite that he had shown up when he did. When he arrived at the inn earlier that night, the last thing he expected was to see a trounced Gabrielle standing on the table, doing goodness knew what. It was by pure luck that he ran into Gabrielle; he didn't know that Xena and her were traveling through these parts at all. After he had last seen them, he had been of the opinion that he stay away from the close Warrior Princess and her sidekick-bard. It wasn't that they didn't tolerate him, they did, but lately, he had begun feeling left out. Xena and Gabrielle had issues they needed to work out that most certainly didn't concern him. Nevertheless, no matter how he tried to stay away, he always found himself missing them. He never really felt like he belonged anywhere. But with Gabrielle and Xena, he felt like he did. Traveling, right wrongs, stopping warlords, just being with them-

He sighed. He knew Xena, he admired Xena and trusted her, and he loved Gabrielle. He loved her so much it hurt, deep down inside of him. His chest would clench and his head would swim and he wouldn't even be able to regain control of his senses unless she would move away. He felt like he knew her inside and out, and he adored every part of her.

And he knew she would never feel the same way. She was Gabrielle and he... well... he was Joxer.

He wasn't sure how she even got this drunk. He suspected that it had something to do with the three burly men that had surrounded her as he had walked in. He had heard rumors of men buying herbs to slip into women's drinks, to make them drunk, so that they couldn't think. He just didn't know how any man with any sort of honor could do such a thing. He certainly wouldn't. But then again, not all men could be as strong as Joxer the Mighty. He sighed. Especially when being Joxer the Mighty involved loving a woman who barely tolerated him.

"Joxer." The object of his affection gazed up at him. "I'm so glad you're here."

Joxer shook his head as he felt himself blush. He had never really seen Gabrielle drunk before, though he had wondered once in a while how she would act if he ever found her in such a state. Now he was finding out. Gabrielle was affectionate. Extremely affectionate. And that made his job of being the honorable savior a whole lot harder.

"Joxer!! Talk to me!" she clucked, clutching at his shirt when her foot suddenly went limp. Joxer grunted, and then finally stopped, sighing in frustration, before leaning down and scooping up Gabrielle properly, so she was cradled against his chest securely. "Joxer, you saved me!" she said happily, punching at his chest. "You're always trying to save me, but this time you actually did it!"

"Yeah, I did, Gabby," he said huskily, still shaking with rage at the thought of the men in the tavern who were responsible for her condition. He still didn't know how he got her away from them, but he remembered feeling such anger that his whole body had gone still with rage. At that point, Gabrielle had seen him, and happily exclaimed, "Joxer!", pointing to him gleefully. He had stalked to her, and pulled her to him. He didn't have to say a word, the men just stepped away, suddenly cautious. Good thing for them. He would have killed them. Well, he conceded, shifting Gabrielle's weight, maybe not. Maybe he would have gotten himself and Gabby killed in the process. But he woulda certainly tried.

"You did! Yay for Joxer!" She swung her legs happily. Joxer scanned the rooms for her number, and then kicked it open. Pausing at the threshold, he sighed sadly. He had often dreamed of being able to carry a happy Gabrielle to a room, of carrying over the threshold with her snug in his arms. Of course he had never thought it would actually happen. At least not like this. Not like anyway, anyhow.

"Joxer the Mighty, he's very tidy," Gabrielle sang, and then giggled as Joxer took a breath and carried her quickly into her room, shutting the door with his foot. "Tidy? Joxer are you tidy?"

"Yes, Gabby. I'm tidy," he answered softly, lowering her gently on the bed.

"Joxer the tidy," Gabrielle sang, pulling him closer to her. "I like that. It suits you. Tidy." She giggled again.

Joxer groaned when he felt her hands unconsciously begin to stroke up his chest. "Ahh, Gabby," he slid off the bed. "I think it's time for you to go to bed."

"But Joxer, Tidy!" She giggled. "I'm not sleepy."

"You're gonna have a hangover tomorrow, Gabby," he said firmly. She shook her head at the thought and laughed.

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah you are."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes you -OW!" Joxer suddenly yelped when Gabrielle's fingers connected with his nose. "Ow, OOOWWWW."

"I'm not sleepy, Joxer," she said simply, half smiling, still holding his nose with a death grip.

"Okay, okay! Oww, Gabby, let go!" She did, and giggled when Joxer fell back on the floor, raising a hand to his tender nose. "Tha's what I get for takin' care of you?" he grumbled, rubbing at it.

She saw him nurse his nose, and suddenly her smile slid off her face. "Joxer, did I hurt you?" she asked, suddenly horrified. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! You saved me! I'm a horrible person! You're always so nice to me and I always hurt you!" she cried, as if her very earth was ending, and suddenly burst into tears. Joxer saw her tear-streaked face, and scrambled up, sitting on the bed and grabbing her hands.

"No, Gabby, it doesn't hurt, really," he insisted, forcing himself to forget about his throbbing nose. She opened one eye, and seeing him stare at her in concern, sniffed.

"Really?" she gulped.

Joxer did his best to smile sincerely. "Really, Gabby. You're very nice to me."

She looked at him strangely for a minute, and then suddenly grinned. "Kay," she said, happy again. She leaned back on the bed, and then squinted at her feet for a full minute. Jerking her head up, she looked with a serious glare. "Joxer, I can't take off my boots." She lifted one shapely leg and rested it on his lap. Joxer felt the contact and stiffened. How much more was a guy supposed to take? For Zeus' sake!!! "Joxer. Must I tell you twice?" She lifted an eyebrow, her expression serious. "I can't take off my boots," she said again, pointing to her leg.

Joxer gulped, and nodded. With trembling hands, he slowly began to unlace her boots, forcing himself not to stare at her legs. Gods, she was beautiful. "You know," Gabrielle began, watching him as he labored at his task. "You're the only one that calls me Gabby. Did you know that?"

Joxer nodded shortly, silently pulling off one boot. Mechanically Gabrielle moved the other leg onto his lap as well. Joxer swallowed again, and closing his eyes, began to work on the other boot.

"I like it when you call me Gabby, Joxer," she said, nodding her head firmly. "Can I call you Tidy?"

"Gabby, as long as I don't have to unlace anything else you can call me anything you want," he mumbled irately. She giggled, stretching her toes and wiggling them.

"Much better," she sighed. Joxer moved to get up, but she held her feet firm. "Nope, you're staying right there, Joxer."

Joxer's eyes widened when he realize Gabrielle was serious. No, no, no, no. He couldn't play nurse with her practically sitting in his lap. No, sir. No way in Tartarus. "How about I pull up a chair?" he asked thickly. Gabrielle seemed to consider the compromise, and finally nodded.

"Kay." She yawned and giggled. "You're so nice. I'm so mean, but you're so nice to me." She trailed off at the thought, and then looked up. "Joxer?" she asked, suddenly pensive.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you hang out with us?" She turned to look at him as he dragged up a chair.

"Huh?"

"Why do you take all our crap? I mean, you're always trying so hard and sometimes me and Xena are so mean to you. Why do you take it?" Her eyes were frank and open, and Joxer felt his throat go dry.

"You guys don't want me around?" he asked unsteadily, fearing Gabrielle's answer.

She thought about it, and then grinned. "Nope. It's not that. We like having you around. You make us laugh. We've missed you. Where've you been?"

He stared at her hands, which had suddenly reached for his. "If you guys like me then... then, why are you so -"

"Mean?" Gabrielle searched for an answer, and then shrugged. "Cause you make it easy. You mess up. A lot," she slurred pointedly. Seeing his face fall, she suddenly leaned forward. "But you know what?" Joxer shook his head mutely. "I used to mess up too." She whispered conspiratively. "A lot."

Joxer eyes widened. "Huh?"

"Yup. When I first started traveling with Xena, it seemed like all I did was mess up. But I learned." She patted his hand.

"You will too."

Joxer smiled at the open expression, feeling his heart flutter. Never had he seen Gabrielle so open, so frank with him.

"You think?" he asked.

"Yeah, Joxer," she returned, all her hyperness gone in her effort to be sincere. "You just try too hard."

"Yeah." he said softly.

"Hey. Tidy." Joxer looked up see Gabrielle yawning again. "I like you. Don't say it very often, but I do. I like you just the way you are." She pointed at his chest for emphasis, a wide smile on her face. "You like me, huh?" Joxer nodded happily, words not coming to his throat.

"Yeah, I know. Well, I like ya too Joxer the Tidy," She trailed off, suddenly yawning. "Joxer?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sleepy," she said pointedly. He smiled softly.

"So go to sleep."

"Okay." Joxer gently pulled back the covers from under her, and then covered her with them. As he leaned over her, Gabrielle's eyes fluttered open.

"Joxer," she whispered, smiling. He smiled back. She leaned up slowly, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Seeing the stunned expression on his face, she grinned. "You"re cute, you annoying tidy." Joxer felt the burning kiss on his cheeks, and gulped, sitting on the chair, watching in silence as Gabrielle's eyes closed. After a minute, her breathing became rhythmic and regular.

Joxer watched the woman he loved in rapturous silence. He never grew tired of watching her sleep. In her sleep, her face became peaceful, and in her dreams, emotions would pass over her face like that of a blank scroll, each coming distinctly different and beautiful. Gods, how he loved her.

Overcome by his emotions, Joxer leaned forward.

"Gabby?" he whispered softly.

"Hmm," she mumbled.

He couldn't hold back his words any longer. "Gabby, I love you." His words came as a caress, and she smiled in her sleep. "I love you more than life itself." Her eyes fluttered open, and seeing his eyes full of feeling, she smiled softly, and reached a hand up to tenderly stroke his face.

"Oh, Joxer," she whispered, and suddenly her hand descended, and her eyes closed, and she was asleep again. Joxer smiled sadly, and placed a tender kiss on her warm forehead, before leaning back into his seat, and resumed his original task of keeping watch over the blonde haired bard.

The sunlight floated across her eyelids, and Gabrielle suddenly awoke.

Her eyes flew open, and the bard suddenly groaned when she felt a piercing ache invade her skull. Holding a hand to her head, she closed her eyes, resting for a full minute before daring to open them back up again. She squinted, and was amazed to discover that she didn't feel any better. What in Tartarus happened to her last night? She searched her mind for an answer, but found she couldn't provide one. The night was a complete blank. The only thing that seemed to come to her was a gentle caretaker. Who could that have been? Shifting her head slowly, wincing as her headache grew larger with every movement, she began to search the room. Finally her eyes settled on the chair by her bed, and was stunned when she discovered Joxer curled up in a ball, his head hanging back as he snored softly.

"Joxer," she whispered, grimacing. "Joxer. JOXER!" she yelled, and groaned as the volume caused her headache to explode. Joxer's head shot up and in his surprise, he caused the chair to tilt over. Gabrielle watched in annoyed silence as Joxer landed in a tangled heap on the floor.

"Gabby? Gabby, you're awake!" He scrambled up. "Are you okay?"

"Joxer!" She closed her eyes, and raised her hand, motioning him to lower his booming. "What happened? And what are you doing here?"

He was unusually silent. "You mean you don't remember?"

"Not a thing," she said, shaking her head. "Why?" she suddenly asked, suspicious. "What happened?"

Joxer was quiet, and for a moment, Gabrielle thought she saw a sadness flicker across his face. But it was gone immediately, replaced by a goofy smile.

"You got drunk," he said simply.

"That's impossible. I don't get drunk."

"Well you did last night."

"Oh no," she groaned, feeling suddenly nauseous. "That explains this headache." she grunted, wincing as she began pulling the covers back. "I didn't say anything I'm gonna regret, did I?"

Again, Joxer was silent for a moment before he responded, a tad less enthusiastic.

"I hope not."

Gabrielle sighed, reaching for her boots, a disgusted expression on her face.

"Here. Help me with these. We gotta go downstairs and find Xena. And where've you been lately?" Joxer looked at her for a moment, shrugged, and said nothing as he leaned forward to grab her other boot.

It had been a tiring day for the Warrior Princess. She had spent most of the last two days tracking down the bandits that had stolen the precious crown of Princess Diana, and they were as easy to find as ferretts. The hard ride back to the tavern wasn't helping her relax any... What she needed was a day of lone traveling with Gabrielle, playing guessing games, arguing about trivial things like frying pans to get her back into the spirit of things.

She swung the door to the tavern open, finding it crowded with villagers. She searched the room for her blonde haired bard companion, and immediately located her in the corner. She raised an eyebrow. Gabrielle certainly didn't look well. She was still, her arms crossed on the table and her head on top of them. Concern for her friend flooded her.

"Gabrielle?" Xena called out softly.

Gabrielle's head shot up and her eyes filled with relief as she saw the Warrior Princess coming toward her.

"Oh, Xena! Thank the gods!"

"What happened? Are you all right?" Xena asked quickly, her hand unconsciously reaching for her sword.

"No, I'm not! I'm sick!" Gabrielle burst out, looking near tears. "I feel terrible! My head hurts, and I want to throw up and -"

"Gabrielle!" Xena had an amused, condescending expression on her face as she relaxed, realizing Gabrielle was in no grave danger. "You didn't get drunk last night, did you? That's not like you."

Gabrielle opened one eyes and squinted at Xena. "You'd think so, wouldn't you?" she sighed. "I don't know what happened, one minute I was fine, telling stories in the tavern and then next, I'm waking up in bed with Joxer- Oh, no." Gabrielle shook her head furiously when Xena's eyes suddenly widened. "He was sitting next to the bed. Curled up on a chair. Apparently he played protector."

"Yikes. A difficult task in it's own right." Xena chuckled. "Ya gotta admire that man's will power."

"Ha. Ha," Gabrielle said dryly, not quite in the mood for Xena's dry humor.

"Where is he, anyway? I didn't know he was in these parts."

The bard shrugged. "Getting, something, I suppose. And you can ask him how he got here himself. He said he'll be right back." She grimaced as she felt her head. "How long does a hangover last?"

Xena grinned wickedly. "Usually most of the day."

"Great." Gabrielle winced, and Xena smiled.

"Well, that'll teach you to chug down eight glasses of - what was that?"

"Don't ask. I don't even know," Gabrielle groaned, leaning on her staff for support. "Can we get out of here? Don't we have somebody in trouble or something? The smell in here is making me sick."

Xena cocked an eyebrow. "What smell?" she asked, sniffing in the air.

"The food." Gabrielle's face looked slightly nauseous. "Xena, let's go."

"We will, let's just see if we can find King Klutz." Xena assured her, patting her softly on her shoulder.

Gabrielle plopped her head on her arms, breathing in deeply. "Augh. Never thought I'd say this, and if you ever tell him, you're dead, but thank Zeus he was here."

Xena hid a smirk. "Kept ya from doing a few things you might, regret, did he?"

The strawberry blonde head nodded. "I think. I actually don't really remember much of last night."

"Well, what did he say?"

"Says he put me to sleep and I fainted dead away."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Huh?"

Xena grinned. "A drunk you is a happy you. A happy you is a not sleepy you. And a not sleepy you is a ..."

"Yeah, frisky. Don't remind me." Gabrielle winced. "Joxer better get his big butt over here."

Xena raised an eyebrow. "You've been checking out his butt?"

"What?! No!"

"Well, how do you know it's big?" Xena continued casually. "I always thought it was rather scrawny myself."

Gabrielle's head shot up. "Do you look at Joxer's butt?"

Xena chuckled. "Only when I have to."

Gabrielle laughed, and then groaned, clutching at her head.

"Xena, you're medicine lady. Find me some herbs or something. Or get me out of here. The smell in here is going to-"

"Hey, Gabby! Hi Xena!" Gabrielle groaned, and Xena smiled as Joxer wove his way through the tavern to them. "I brought us breakfast!" With a huge grin, he put down a huge platter of steaming food, freshly made.

Gabrielle took one look at the food, gave him a horrified look, and stumbling up, headed for the doorway as fast as she could. Xena watched her go, and shook her head, grinning as she got up.

"Well, Joxer, once again you managed to make her furious at you," she said, clamping a hand on his shoulder in sympathy. "I'd hate to be in your shoes today. Ooh, is that pork?" Xena reached over and began to dig in. "Hi, by the way."

Joxer gave her a confused look, and then looked down at the food, that was now being ravished on by the apparently famished Warrior Princess. "Hi Xena," he sighed. "You want to tell me what I did now?"

"What didn't you do?" Xena grinned between mouthfuls. "This is great food, Joxer. Must have cost you some dinars."

"Yeah, well, at least you're enjoying it," he mumbled. Pulling off his hat, he sighed. "I can't seem to do anything right for her, can I?"

Xena paused in mid-mouthful, and finished her bite slowly, before leaning forward. "Joxer, she appreciates you. Really she does."

Joxer grimaced, remembering Gabby's tender words to him from the night before. He had believed her then, but now, the way the way she acted, the way she looked at him, he found he couldn't.

"Joxer, she does. She just doesn't want to admit it. What would she have done last night if you weren't here?"

"Probably had a party to celebrate my extended absence," he said grimly.

"You know what your problem is?" Xena said suddenly, smiling fondly at the young man. "You are either extremely insecure, or you get a huge head. You have to find a middle ground. Gabrielle likes you Joxer. You know that. You just have to stop trying so hard. We like you cause you're Joxer. That's all you have to be." Joxer looked up at her, and after a minute, he smiled.

"Hey guys?" Gabrielle's weak voice called to them from the doorway. "Can we please go now?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Xena got up, and grinned at Joxer. "You coming?" He shrugged.

"It's not like you need my help," he mumbled.

Xena frowned, and was about to respond when Gabrielle was heard again outside.

"Joxer! Grab some of that food, put it in a bag, but don't let me smell it until later! And don't screw it up, Tidy." Joxer froze, and Xena looked amused.

"Tidy?" She pulled on her sword. "Where did that come from?"

Joxer shrugged, bewildered. Didn't Gabrielle say she didn't remember anything?! Oh, please don't let her remember anything. He didn't think he could take it if she knew all he had said to her that night.

Gingerly, he gathered the food, and followed Xena outside. Gabrielle was leaning on Argo, patting her mane absently as Xena loaded her up. "What's wrong now?" Xena asked her best friend wryly.

Gabrielle looked confused as she looked up. "What? Nothing." Her eyes were hooded for a moment, her lips pursed. "Tidy?" she repeated, a frustrated expression on her face. "Where the hell had that come from? Did you call him that?"

Xena gave her a dry stare. "Yes, Gabrielle. You know I'm always prone to coming up with cute nicknames for my friends."

Xena was rewarded for her sarcastic reply with a glare. "A simple 'no' would have been fine."

Joxer stumbled outside, somehow managing to keep from bumping into doorway, but still managing to get the bag of food smashed against the wooden frame. Xena just shrugged, and Gabrielle groaned.

"Nice. I can tell what this trip is going to be like." Seeing Joxer's face fall, Gabrielle winced. "Joxer, come here."

Joxer looked at her trepidly, and obeyed silently.

"Look, I'm only gonna say this once... so listen," she began, and shifted uncomfortably as she fought to keep her pounding headache under control.

Joxer swallowed, not wanting to hear another one of Gabrielle's lectures. He made a point to stay a good four feet away. Her reflexes might not have been that great at this moment, but he remembered her nose pinches, and he wasn't taking any chances.

"Uh... Thanks. You took care of me last night, and even though I don't remember what happened, I know I can be a handful. So... thanks. You're a great friend." He looked up at her wonder and shock. Gabrielle bit her lip when she saw his expression. He was surprised? That she had said thank you? A speck of truth settled for a moment in Gabrielle's heart and she realized she had not always made a point to let her young friend know he was appreciated. She had to try harder, she knew that.

Joxer listened to her words of gratitude, and felt a big, goofy smile float on his face. He puffed up with pride, and was about to comment when he saw Xena smiling at him. Don't try so hard. That was what they both had said. And so he didn't. He forced back the lame remark about Joxer the Mighty always being there, and instead just allowed himself to smile.

"You're welcome, Gabby," he told her simply. And with that, he grinned again, pulled on his hat, and walked to Xena, who gave them both an amused smirk.

Gabrielle was surprised, to say the least. And pleased. Maybe Joxer was finally growing up. But she didn't say a word. Shaking her head at her friends strange behavior, she sighed, following the Warrior Wannabe and the Warrior Princess to the road that would lead them out of town and on to their next adventure.

Joxer was completely unpredictable, she knew that. And she loved the galoot, clumsy as he was. But why in the world did she call him Tidy?

Joxer looked back to see Gabrielle's bewildered face, and for a minute, pictured her face the night before, her smile, her affectionate words. He had seen a softer side of her. A side she struggled to hide from him. Why?

"You two might want to hurry it up," Xena called out dryly, her back straight and her stride unwavering as she led Argo. "It's not like we have all day."

"Joxer move it, will ya?" Gabrielle mumbled, punching at him softly with her stick while she hurried to join Xena. And then she did the oddest thing. She looked back, and she smiled. Joxer felt his heart freeze, as he stumbled to catch up to his friends. He gave them both a goofy grin slinging his arms around both their shoulders.

"I knew you two missed me. How about a song for the road? OHHHHH, Joxer the Mighty-"

And he continued to sing, even as Gabrielle rolled her eyes in resigned annoyance and Xena pretended to ignore him, despite the smirk that seemed to emerge against her will on her face. But Joxer didn't mind. They accepted him. Gabrielle accepted him, for who he was. Like he was. She even liked him for it.

His heart was soaring, as Joxer the Mighty realized a long hidden truth. For the first time in a long time, Joxer finally felt like he belonged.

Please take the time to write to Melissa at mistiec_flores@yahoo.com and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999-2000 by Melissa Flores and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.