Rating: Probably PG-13. There are some adult concepts, more in other stories that this one. I'll just say that to remain consistent.
Violence: No
Sex: Nope.

Notes: This is story number seven in the never-ending series, the first being "The Gift That Keeps On Giving", and the second "Ooops, I Did It Again..." - followed by "Spelling Lessons" and "Every Witch Way" and "School Daze". The most recent previous story to this was "Something Wicked This Way Comes," and you will be totally confused if you try to read this without reading all the others first. Trust me - this is so unbelievably AU, you'll be lost without the background they give.

For those of you who have been waiting patiently for this - thank you. For those who have waited less than patiently, thank you, too. It's nice to have an eager audience. I have long felt that this was the weakest link in this chain of stories, but I hope y'all like it nonetheless.

Thank you, Rebecca Littlehales, for the wonderful beta, and all your general friendship and encouragement. Thanks to the gang (you know who you are) who pre-read this and the others - your comments are invaluable.

Go away.

I can't, or believe me, I would.

Tell me again, is this supposed to be a good thing, us being able to hear each other's thoughts like this?

Whoever said it was, didn't have to do it with you.

"JOXER!" Gabrielle exclaimed aloud.

"Well," the wizard argued, "all you do is complain about my thoughts, either out loud or in your mind. I can think of things I'd rather hear."

"And I can think of more interesting things than your constant internal commentary on everything you see or do. Do you ever shut up, mentally or physically?"

"Whoa," Xena said as she stepped between her two friends, "to your corners, guys." The Warrior Princess blew her breath out loudly. Ever since Joxer and Gabrielle bonded during the fight with the beings known only as Them, they'd been wandering around inside each other's heads, and neither one was close to ready for such a large amount of forced togetherness. Xena was surer than she had ever been before that they cared an awful lot about each other. Any other two people who were as irritated by each other as these two were would have drawn blood by now.

When they had first come to after the battle, they were wrapped in each other's arms and happy just to be alive. The first surprise had come when Gabrielle announced, "I might have been, if you hadn't given me some of your power."

Xena looked at the bard and with eloquence asked, "Huh?"

"I was just responding to Joxer."

"Gabrielle, he didn't say anything."

"Yes, he did," the bard said petulantly. "You just weren't listening. I distinctly heard him say he was glad I hadn't been killed in the battle. You do that all the time, Xena, you -"

"Uh, Gabs," Joxer interrupted, "I really didn't say anything. Not out loud, anyway."

"You did too, I heard you." Her statement dared him to contradict her again.

Mother Wigglewort smiled gently. "You'll both be hearing a lot from each other for a while. The Bond has to be pretty strong before you can control it." She turned to the Warrior Princess and snickered, whispering, "It's one of the reasons I think it only forms after marriage. It can get pretty annoying for people who don't already really like each other."

The tall woman raised an eyebrow. "This should be interesting."

Interesting - what had that Chin curse said? May you live an interesting life? Well, her life had indeed been that since the day Joxer inherited his magical abilities from the departed wizard, Oswald. But now, it was nearly maniacal.

For one thing, it had been a total shock to Gabrielle to find out that Joxer had thought she wanted him to marry Hellena. She had found that thought in his head, along with the fact that he really was head over heels in love with the bard herself, and had been for some time. Joxer was terribly uncomfortable with the idea that the object of his affections now had easy access to his most closely held secrets, including the one about his feelings for her. He tried to see her feelings for him, but came up with a muddy and clouded image every time, which did little to reassure him. And he couldn't find a clear motive for her becoming a witch, either. He was a little irritated to discover that Xena had told the Bard about his deep devotion to her way back when they were on the ship coming to Britannia from Greece, and she had promptly filed the information in a dark and inaccessible corner of her mind, never directly dealing with it again.

Not only that, but for the first few weeks, Mother W had assured them, physical proximity was necessary as well. The first night after they had bonded, both the blonde witch and the tall wizard had refused to sleep in the same room. Joxer had returned to his dorm, and Gabrielle to the quarters at the Boulder's Drop Inn that she and Xena had been sharing for the past several months. Mother W was called to the Academy in the morning to help the staff figure out why the Greek student couldn't be roused from his bed, while the bard was violently ill until he was carried over to her room. Touching each other speeded the recovery, and arrangements were quickly made for Joxer to move into the Inn with his friends. Both were already uneasy enough with this new intimacy, however, and quickly agreed he could stay on a pallet on the floor.

Finally, Gabrielle had come to Xena to ask her if they could leave and go back to Greece. "I miss my family, Xena, and this whole thing with Joxer and I would be easier to handle if we were home. He's getting a degree with honors and the final ceremony is tomorrow, so could we just leave now?"

Xena studied her best friend. She had finally condescended to wear the traditional witches' black, but cut into an outfit just like her former green top and brown skirt. She even wore a black hair band. She had made some peace with her staff as well, although the thing was as dumb as, well, a stick. She managed to convince it to do nothing without her permission, and she pretty much used it now as she had in the past, for walking and defense.

The Warrior Princess had to admit, she too was missing the hills of Greece and the meager comforts of home. Her decision was all but sealed when the bard chimed in, "And Joxer wants to go home, too."

He was back at the Academy when she said this, finishing up testing and cleaning out his room before his graduation. Xena found it somewhat unsettling that there was another set of ears listening anytime she and Gabrielle talked, now. "Can't you two turn that thing off yet?" she grumbled mildly. Her companion merely rolled her eyes. Then her gaze grew distant.

"I know you heard that," she answered the voice in her head testily. "I don't take it back." She listened again, frowning. "Fine. Be that way."

The look of exasperation on the blonde's face faded into regret. "Aw, Xena, I feel so bad. He's in the middle of his tests and all, and yet he can't help hearing everything I think or say. He needs to concentrate, and I'm not helping at all. It's a good thing that stuff comes so easy to him, or he'd be failing everything. I know I would, if someone was always interrupting my thoughts." She smiled distantly, and the warrioress had the feeling the bard was receiving a message of appreciation. Then she looked pleadingly across the table. "Please, can't we go home?"

So here they were, on a boat heading back to Greece. She had arranged them to have two cabins, although she hadn't told either of the pair. The way they both slept, Xena was able to find an excuse to stay up later than they did every night, go to her own room, and convince them she had wakened and left their shared cabin before they had. The Warrior Princess wasn't totally sure what to expect with this bonding business, and felt the slightest bit uncomfortable at possibility of waking up one night and witnessing the next stage of the process, whatever that might be. She suspected Joxer might know about her deception, but then again, if he did, Gabrielle would too, so maybe not.

And now she stood between them, wondering how things had gotten this bad. She had gone into the room one night, realizing that she had left her chakram on "her bed" earlier that day, and seen that the witch and the wizard had, in their sleep, reached out for one another across the space that separated their beds and clasped hands. The peace on their faces had been in stark contrast to the turmoil that now filled their daily lives. It was as if all their barriers needed to be forgotten for them to even get back to the barely comfortable relationship they had shared before they left Greece. They had made giant strides backwards, through an experience that was supposed to bring together two people in love. If things didn't get any better soon, someone was going to get killed. Xena would see to it.

All thoughts and arguments ended with the explosion. Fire erupted from the deck in a huge geyser, enveloping the mainsail in an instant. Later, as they counted survivors and compared notes, it was agreed that the cook must have been careless with the great stove in the mess, and his conspicuous absence was testimony to the price he had paid for his error.

The fire spread rapidly from sail to sail, and the masts crackled and blackened as it went. Gabrielle wondered how a fire could be so hard to put out, even when you're surrounded by water. She and Joxer were organizing a bucket brigade. The ability to talk inside each other's brains made communication much easier over the yells of sailors and the shrieking of falling timbers. More than one sailor lost his life due to a lack of attention as a mast gave way. Another large explosion indicated that the cook's store of oil had met its end, as had the men standing over that storeroom.

Finally, the blaze was subdued. The crew was reduced to less than half its original number, and the group had not been large to begin with. Perhaps ten men had survived the inferno, and they gathered around Xena. In the absence of the captain, she appeared to be their de facto leader. Subconsciously aware of the need to rebuild their own power, a sooty witch and wizard clung together near the edge of the gathered survivors.

Xena raised her voice so she was sure all could hear. "Does any one have any idea of where we might be?"

"Aye," a bedraggled man offered, "We be yust west of Hispania, mi'lady." A few heads nodded in agreement, and the fellow went on. "We'da be turnin' east soon ifin we could turn. We might best be goin' onta try an' drift inta Marrakech, ma'am."

The Warrior Princess thought out loud. "We do still have rudder control, but it's of little good without sails. Joxer," she called, "Can you conjure up sails for this thing?"

The wizard looked doubtful, but pulled Gabrielle closer to soak up the power their bond provided, then concentrated as hard as he could. A bit of white fabric about three feet square materialized. The blonde in his arms snorted. "Well, that'll get us far. If you want to produce a whole sail at that rate, we should just about starve to death before we have enough cloth to get us anywhere."

Joxer released his hold on her as if burned, and Xena saw the wash of regret flow over Gabrielle's face. "Even I have my limits," the young man said, pouting. He brightened slightly. "But we won't starve. Food I can do." The Warrior Princess heard her stomach grumble as the smell of a full, fresh meal wafted over the deck. The impromptu crew meeting dissolved as the men hurried to the spread, fear and adrenaline having slackened slightly into hunger. A few varied statements danced across the faces of the couple, and Xena finally decided they'd made peace again in their silent communications.

Xena ran a tired hand through her hair as she studied again the blackened scrap of navigational chart they had found. Joxer had conjured her an oil lamp, and she sat at the desk in the captain's quarters as her two friends leaned over her shoulder.

"Knowing where we should have been when the explosion happened, and from the position of the stars now, the best I can tell is that we're right about here." She plopped a finger in the middle of what was a vast expanse of water. "Nothing for miles."

Joxer pointed. "What's that?" After a moments silence, he said, "It is not just a burned spot! It looks like the edge of a chain of islands." He glared at the bard, who shrugged.

Xena looked closer. "I think he's right, Gabrielle. I've heard the stories of the Fortunate Islands on the western edge of the world, and that would be about where they are." Joxer looked smug, and the blonde slapped his shoulder. He poked her back. She retaliated. "Would you two please grow up? Anyhow," she continued after they lapsed into shamed stillness, "We appear to be heading directly that way. I've never heard anything about the people who live there or what they might be like, but at least it's land. Maybe we can fix the sails and get back underway from there." She looked at the pair, who appeared dead on their feet. "You two go to bed. I'm going to stay in here tonight so the crew can get to me easily if they need me without disturbing you." At least now she could cease the charade of the three of them sharing their cabin. "Go on." They trudged obediently out of the captain's quarters. "And don't kill each other before morning," Xena called after them.

"Land HO!"

The cry of the lookout roused Xena from a strange dream of puppies and flying fish fighting with the armies of Corinth. She needed to stop eating magic food right before bedtime. Shaking her head to clear it, she stepped up into the sunshine. Sure enough, they were slowly but steadily drifting towards what appeared to be a tree-covered island. Before long, a sleepy-eyed wizard emerged from below decks.

She smiled at him, pointing. "You were right."

Joxer ran his fingers through his mussed hair, calming it only a bit. "I wish Gabby was awake to hear that." He grinned. "I guess she is. Awake enough to make a smart comment about it, anyway." His face grew serious. "I feel funny though, Xena. Weak, somehow. Not physically, exactly, butƒ I can't really explain," he finished helplessly. He shrugged diffidently. "Maybe I should just do breakfast." He concentrated, and soon a very small batch of food appeared.

"You think you overfed us last night, so you're cutting back?" asked a sailor nearby, jokingly.

The wizard looked pained. "No," he mused, "That's all I could do."

Xena frowned in concern. Maybe the bonding and then all the other excitement had taken more out of Joxer than she suspected. "Just eat light," she warned the men. She didn't want to wear him down, since they might need his powers more once they reached the island. Then Gabrielle came up from below, and her thoughts turned to planning for the trip ashore.

Finally, they were close enough to shore to anchor the ship and throw a small boat over the side. It was a good thing, too, because Joxer seemed preoccupied, and Gabrielle had begun to turn an interesting shade of green. The entire group climbed into the skiff, and soon they were on the beach of the beautiful island. They pulled the boat up on the sand, and Xena began to assign the men jobs. Her friends seemed to be carrying on one of their silent exchanges, and she waited until it seemed over to speak to them. "Joxer, you need to go find a source of fresh water for us. Gabrielle, scout for any inhabitants - carefully. You don't need to find out they're unfriendly the hard way. Meet me back here when you're done. I'll be constructing a shelter for us with some of the crew."

They headed off in different directions into the woods, and Xena occupied herself with the construction. A considerable amount of work was completed before the lanky wizard burst from the underbrush with panic on his face. "Xena, Gabby's in trouble and I can't use my powers!"

Conclusion >>>