Rating: G, probably, but call it PG in case I slipped and put in a wordy dird or two.
Violence: Naw - just angst.
Sex: Nope, not today, thanks.
Spoilers: Pretty much everything before Lyre, I think, is fair game.

Author's notes: This story is as close to being co-authored by Chris Shultz as anything I've ever written. He suggested this story a long time ago. Chris likes to pick out characters I haven't written and challenge me to do something with them, and this time he pushed me to use Lila, and to explore Gabrielle's current relationship with her family. He suggested a few possible scenes. And of course, he edited the finished product, which he likes a lot (I wonder why? *g*). So as always, Chris - no even more than always, my thanks to you. This wouldn't even exist without you.

And thanks Rebecca, too, for the encouragement on this one. I love people who say nice things about my stories.

Oh, and I know the title is about as unoriginal as they come. Sorry.

"So I promised my mother I would find Toris, and get him home, and then the three of us would spend a little family time together." Xena rubbed her growing belly and smiled at Lila. "I think my pregnancy has stirred her mothering instincts or something. So Gabrielle decided to come home for a while, too, and Joxer." Xena turned to the lanky man, standing quietly beside her, "Joxer, what are you going to do? I could be gone for a month or more."

He shrugged, his usual unflagging good humor strangely absent. "Go home, too, I guess," he answered, diffidently.

"Nonsense," Hecuba announced, coming out from the house, wiping her hands on her apron as she strode to stand between her two daughters. "Joxer will stay right here with us." She had spent enough time with the pleasant young man to know that the look in his eyes when his home was the topic of conversation was not longing, but instead misery. She wouldn't force a dog to go where he felt that unwelcome, let alone this likable, albeit awkward warrior. Besides, to her motherly eyes, he needed a little care and feeding. Perhaps her daughter and the Warrior Princess were made of tougher stuff, and managed better, but this boy was due a little TLC.

His eyes lit up at the suggestion, but one look at Gabrielle's face quenched the fire before it even took. Hecuba noticed the silent conversation, and gave her oldest a sharp gaze. Lila, however, was ecstatic at the suggestion. "Oh, yes, Joxer. Please stay with us - Daddy could use an extra pair of hands around the farm, and it would do you good to get a little rest from the trials and strains of the warrior business." The bard snorted, the sound becoming strangled when Xena's foot landed hard on hers, turning it into a choking cough.

From the looks on both her mother's and Xena's faces, Gabrielle knew she was a beaten woman. The only way she would ever get rid of Joxer would be to send him away herself, and both her stay at home and a long period afterwards would be pure Tartarus if she chose to do that. She sighed ungraciously, and managed to spit out, "Yeah, Joxer, why don't you stay here a little while?" She hoped he heard the accent on the word "little", but he didn't seem well versed in subtleties, so she doubted it.

Joxer looked around at the women's expectant faces. The only one he cared about, however, still wore a grim look. Even so, he needed to remember that other people besides Gabrielle had feelings, too, and they mattered as well. Her mother and sister seemed to truly want him to stay, and Xena also appeared to support the idea. The thought of returning home was about as welcome as the stomach flu, and made him nearly as ill. It took days, sometimes weeks, for him to recover his equilibrium after a stay with his family, even when no one was at the house but his mother. The memories there stung him deeply, and left him feeling like an empty shell of a man, good for as little as his father and brother Jett always told him he was. He could always simply wander for the time Xena was away, or go see Meg, but both those options were purposeless, and wouldn't really help anyone. He had let Meg know long ago that they had no future together, but he still saw her eyes light up whenever he came near, so he had finally stopped visiting her entirely. Joxer had stopped sleeping with her long before that, something she never really did understand, and he had given up trying to explain to her. That was a jar of worms he didn't need to reopen.

His choices seemed limited, and for once he was going to do what he wanted, rather than what he knew Gabrielle wanted him to. "Thank you," he said, shyly. "I'd be pleased to stay. I'll work as much as you need me to, and I'll try to stay out of the way." Even the bard's eyes widened at the soft humility in his voice. She got the impression of a man who had been rescued from a fate worse than death. "I'll be glad to stay in the barn."

"Nonsense," Hecuba fussed at him, taking his arm and dragging him into the house. "We have a small room behind the kitchen. It's plain, but it's clean and warm, and most of all, drier than that nasty barn. Come, I'll show you." Her voice faded as she went through the door. Lila smiled widely at the other two women, and followed her mother and Joxer inside.

Before Gabrielle could open her mouth, Xena took her arm roughly. "You listen to me," she hissed at her friend. "Just because you can't deal with his feelings for you doesn't mean you have to be nasty to him. Just one time, think about how your life would be if you were abused and mistreated by your own family, and most of the other people you ever met. You don't have to fall all over him, but you could try being a little nice for once." She glared at the bard, then her face softened, and she pulled her smaller friend into a hug. "I'll miss you, but I'll miss him too. You're both special to me - try to get along." She ruffled the short blonde hair, then turned and swung up into the saddle. "I'll be back as soon as my mother decides she's had enough family bonding time, but remember, I've got to track my brother down first. I could be gone a while." With that, Argo cantered off, Gabrielle still a bit speechless.

"So, Joxer," Herodotus queried at the dinner table, "Have you ever milked a cow before?"

Swallowing his mouthful swiftly, the young man wiped his face on the back of his hand. "No sir, but I'm willing to learn." The older man laughed and slapped the uneasy recruit on the back, almost causing him to choke on the food he had just downed. Joxer didn't miss the sight of Gabrielle rolling her eyes in disgust, however. He withdrew a bit more. I promise, Gabby, you won't even need to know I'm here. I'll be sure to stay out of your way.

Lila couldn't help but notice the exchange between the two, although no words were spoken. She sighed sadly. For the remainder of the meal, Joxer nodded and spoke only when spoken to, picking at his food and excusing himself as soon as he could do so politely. When he disappeared into the darkness of the yard, Lila followed with her eyes, vowing to find him again when the dishes were done.

When the dishes were nearly finished, Lila asked permission to leave, receiving it quickly from her mother. After the younger girl left, Hecuba turned to her oldest daughter, fire in her eyes. "I never raised a child to be rude to company, Gabrielle. What is wrong with you?"

"Company? Oh, you mean Joxer. He's not company."

"Well, what is he then? You've never acted like that to a member of your family, and I would hope that's not how you treat your friends." Gabrielle stared dumbly at her mother. Joxer was, well, she wasn't sure what to call him, but he damn sure wasn't company. Savagely she wiped the last plate and shoved it at her mother, then turned on her heel and left the kitchen without a word.

Hecuba sighed. Life with Xena had changed her daughter almost beyond recognition. Not all of it was for the worse, but when had she become so hard and cold? The older woman put the last of the dishes away, and went looking for her husband. She needed his comforting stability right now.

"Joxer?" Lila called softly, "Are you out here?" She finally spotted him beside the well. He had abandoned his armor soon after Xena's departure, seeming to Lila as if he were hiding out from himself, and maybe her sister, by trying to be less conspicuous. She liked the armor - it was cute on him. She dropped down beside him on the bench. "Hi."

He looked up, his eyes unreadable in the dark. "Hi." At least he didn't sound unhappy to see her. "Sorry I wasn't much company at dinner tonight. I guess I'm just tired from traveling." She reached over and patted his hand, resting there for a moment. The air was cool and she shivered, pulling her shawl closer around her.

The silence was awkward for a moment. "Look," she finally offered, "I know you don't feel about me the way I do about you. That's okay. But if you need to talk, I'd like it if you'd consider talking to me." He smiled, visible even in the dim light, and then stood, holding out his arm. She took it, and they waked inside together.

Gabrielle was staring out her window when the couple walked close by. She hadn't been trying to see what was going on in the yard, so it only made it more uncomfortable when they passed, Lila clinging to Joxer's arm and talking while he smiled sadly, their faces lit by the lamp in the bedroom window. The anger she was still nursing from her mother's comments curdled within her, turning to a little rock that settled uneasily in the pit of her stomach.

Joxer had always been an early riser, but even he was surprised when Herodotus banged on the door to his room while darkness still shrouded the farm. "Joxer," the older man called, "It's time you learned to milk a cow, boy."

The young man pulled on his trousers and vest, his body shivering in the cold morning air. Stripping the vest back off, he pulled his long-sleeved shirt out of his bag, pulling it over his head and topping it with the vest. When he stepped out of the room, Gabrielle's father handed him a mug of steaming liquid. "Tea," the older man offered, "It'll warm you inside, anyway." Joxer felt the heat travel to his stomach, and was grateful for the small gift. He received another when the farmer draped a warm suede jacket over his shoulders. "The weather hasn't warmed enough to go out like that," Herodotus mumbled gruffly. The wannabe warrior smiled and nodded in thanks.

They had been working for what felt like hours, and might well have been, by the time Lila came to the barn to summon the two for breakfast. As a warlord's son, Joxer had no idea how much work was involved in the simple care and feeding of farm animals. The sun had risen without him so much as noticing as he had milked the cow, gathered eggs, mucked out stalls (so far, his least favorite of the jobs) and spread hay. He was feeling muscles he never knew existed, and it was still early. After breakfast he knew there were pigs and sheep to tend to, as well as a need for firewood and some field preparation Herodotus had mentioned.

At the table, he bowed as a simple thanks to Demeter was offered for the food, and then dug in as if he hadn't eaten in days. Between mouthfuls, Joxer pestered the farmer with questions about the fields and the animals, determined to learn as much as he could in order to prove himself truly useful in return for their generous hospitality. He barely seemed to notice the sleepy bard, sitting across the table with eyes half closed, shoveling food in her mouth mechanically. Lila joined in the conversation with the occasional comment, and Gabrielle's slowly wakening brain registered the sense of togetherness being shared by her family and her friend. He seems far more comfortable here than I am, she realized. It disturbed her in a vague way.

After the meal, Joxer and Herodotus went outside to tackle the remaining chores, while Gabrielle helped her mother clear the table. Lila was preparing the eggs and milk to take them to the market, as she did on a daily basis, chattering cheerfully as she went about the task. "Isn't it wonderful having Joxer here, Mother? Usually the eggs aren't even gathered until after breakfast, and I'm one of the last to arrive for market. With his help, I'll be early today, and we'll have much better luck making good trades. Maybe I can barter for a nice piece of lamb or a few good cheeses, and we can have a special meal to celebrate his being here. Oh," the young woman added as an afterthought, "and Gabrielle, too." The bard frowned, noticed by her mother but not her sister, who was heading out the door. "I see Daddy has the wagon all set - with any luck, I'll be back to help with the noon meal. Bye!"

Hecuba walked over to her visiting daughter's side. "She didn't mean to ignore you, dear, but she is so very fond of that young man. We all like him, you know."

"I know, mother," Gabrielle sighed. "He really is a nice guy, I guess. He seems to fit in here pretty well."

"What is it you seem to have against him, dear?" her mother asked, reopening last night's discussion in a much gentler way. "He seems quite fond of you."

Gabrielle sighed, "I know, that's the problem." She realized that she didn't want to tell her mother about Joxer's confession of love for at least two reasons. First, she hadn't shared the story of Rome, and both her and Xena's deaths with her family, and she wasn't sure she ever would. It had been hard enough to explain Hope and the Destroyer. Secondly, the bard was afraid her mother would ask how she felt about it, and Gabrielle still honestly didn't know. She brushed her way past the topic. "He just follows me and Xena around like a lost dog, getting in the way."

Even as she said that, she knew it was a poor lie. He wasn't always in the way - lately, he'd been a great deal of help on a regular basis. He never told them it was he who had taken them down from the crosses, but Amarice had. He was the one who figured out the recipe for the black powder - even if he had gotten them both arrested first. And Xena had explained to her best friend how she had found Joxer bravely standing in the middle of the minefield, smart enough to protect the villagers he was leading until help arrived. Xena seemed to appreciate him more each day. But it was easy for her - he didn't love her. Well, not that way. Gabrielle might have spent some of her time here at home working that out, but now that her mother had invited him to stay with the family, it was harder to look at objectively. Especially since her family was so crazy about him. Her whole family was just plain crazy - that was it.

Her mother seemed to recognize the lie as well. She eyed her daughter critically, and then backed away from the subject. Whatever was causing the tension between Gabrielle and Joxer, only the two of them could work it out.

Joxer was surprised at how much he was enjoying the hard work and long hours that keeping a farm running involved. They'd been at Gabrielle's for over a week, and he was beginning to feel as though he just about had this farming thing down pat. For one thing, all that was required was to learn a fairly simple routine, and then do it over, and over, and over, and over again. Thinking was optional, skill almost unnecessary. He had a strong back, which was all that was really needed. He dug the last of the liniment from the jar Hecuba had given him, rubbing it on one area in his back that he had stretched in a new way today. He barely needed the stuff anymore; his muscles had grown used to the activity, now. The first couple of days though, he could've bathed in the stuff, and it wouldn't have eased all the pains.

The new farmhand had managed, for the most part, to stay out of Gabrielle's way. He couldn't avoid her at meals, but as soon as he finished breakfast or lunch, he would hurry right back out to his work. After dinner, he would usually take a walk by the river. Sometimes Lila would join him. He knew that she was almost as cautious around him as he was around Gabrielle, yet at least he and Lila could talk to each other. He probably hadn't said six words, outside of "Pass the bread, please" to Gabby since they got here. He knew it had been unfair to impose himself on her time with her family, but he really had done his best to make it seem as if he weren't here.

Joxer had settled down in his room with plans to retire for the night, but his mind was troubled, and he decided fresh air would do him some good. He pulled on the suede jacket, and slipped through the kitchen to the outside.

Gabrielle sat on the porch, appreciating again the warm leather coat she had bought before the trip to Spamona. She snickered quietly - her new outfit was great for fighting, but it did lack a bit in the coverage department. As she relaxed though, she found her thoughts wandering again to Joxer. He had been quieter in the last week or so than he had ever been in all the years she had known him. The bard was actually getting used to having him around, and found she was not nearly as bothered by his presence as she'd originally expected to be. Sometimes, when she was outside during the day, she would hear him conversing with her father, the two men often laughing together, sometimes even engaging in friendly arguments. Her mother seemed to have dedicated herself to fattening him up, pushing second and even third helpings at the lanky warrior. Gabrielle was aware, although she would never share the information with her mother, that the man was not skinny, but covered with lean muscles. She wasn't about to explain how she had come to see Joxer naked to gather this knowledge. She smiled when she considered how much of her life she was willing to write into scrolls that all the world might see, but was unwilling to simply tell her parents.

Suddenly, the object of her contemplation passed by the corner of the house, heading down towards the river. He moved differently without the armor - not exactly silently, but less like a herd of baby oxen, certainly. She needed to talk to him - perhaps now would be a good time? Gabrielle stood to follow, not seeing her sister peering from the window behind her.

Joxer located his favorite big rock on the river's edge, and sat. This was his newfound contemplation site. He picked up a handful of pebbles and began skipping them towards the other shore. Hearing movement behind him, he subconsciously expected the scent of lilac to accompany it, signaling Lila was there. The low "Hi," in Gabrielle's voice startled him. She smiled. "Can I sit down?"

The tall man shrugged and scooted over, giving her lots of room to sit. It was her choice to follow him, he figured, and she was welcome to talk or not, as she wished. Joxer skipped another pebble. He had been out of sorts when he left the house, and his mood was quickly turning blacker. For days now, she'd ignored him, after making clear from the first that she didn't want him here. If she had something to say, let her say it.

"I guess I owe you an apology," she began, nervously. "I wasn't very nice when my mother invited you to stay with us."

"Un-huh," he grunted, tossing yet another pebble. *Skip.skip.skip*.

"Anyway, I just thought I would have a little time to spend with my family, and to think about what you had said to me." There - he hadn't made it easy, but she'd said it anyway.

"I said 'no strings' and I meant it! You don't have to think about it - you don't have to think about me, even. I've done my best to stay out of sight and not bother you. That's what you wanted, isn't it?" The last time he remembered being this mad at anyone, he had told Xena off about sticking her nose in his business after he had killed Kryton. This time, he was mad at himself. He should have never told her - it hadn't made things any better. He should have gone home and suffered through it. He should, he should. oh hell, he should have never been born. His chest felt tight, and he lashed out at the only available target, the one sitting right beside him. "I'd leave tomorrow, if you wanted me to, but your mother and father haven't had any time away from this place in years, so I told them I'd take care of things while they went off for a couple of days! Once they're back, maybe I'll go. What do you care, anyway?" He got up awkwardly, throwing the rest of the handful of pebbles violently into the river, and storming off.

Gabrielle really wanted to be angry back. She even tried. It had been so hard to work up the nerve to apologize to him, and tell him she really was considering what he had said. But she supposed it was too little, too late. The really sad thing was, her reluctance to deal with him said far more about her then it did him, but he probably felt that it was just another slap in his face. She reached up, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. Why did he love her? He really did deserve better.

Lila sat in the empty front room in a spot where the light from the fire didn't reach her face. She had heard Joxer stomp angrily back to the house a little while ago, half expecting him to slam his door when he went in his room. But the sound never came, and she smiled a bit. Even when angry, he was considerate. Her parents had gone to bed early, excited about the little "vacation" and planning an early start tomorrow. He was probably worried he might wake them. She saw her sister approaching, moving slowly and uncertainly, her coat wrapped tight against the cold, but Lila couldn't tell if it was the cold inside or outside Gabrielle that she was fighting. She entered through the front door, oblivious to Lila's watching eyes, and went straight to their room. The younger woman sighed - the next few days could end up being pretty uncomfortable.

Conclusion >>>