CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Xena,Warrior Princess
Gabrielle,Warrior Bard
Joxer,Warrior wanna-be
Xena and Gabrielle's families.

Rating: G
Spoilers: Fifth season episodes

Xena's child had finally arrived and her family and Gabrielle's were celebrating in Amphpolis. By chance, Gabrielle's parents and sister had been traveling in the area and Gabrielle had convinced them to stay for a while. It hadn't taken much coaxing to get Lila and Hecuba to agree; Herodotus was a little more difficult, but he agreed in the end. They all arrived at Cyrene's Inn in the morning, Joxer later that afternoon. Mother and child were doing well, and that was reason enough to celebrate, even for Herodotus, who had never been overly fond of Xena.

"A toast!" Herodotus stood. Cyrene filled his cup with her best wine. "To my daughters, Lila and Gabrielle. My beautiful girls. This occasion, this birth, reminds me of the joy and pride I felt at each of your arrivals, and still feel whenever I look at my little girls!" Gabrielle's father was a little tipsy; everyone was,except Xena. She wasn't drinking, and Joxer didn't seem to be either. Her friend had been hanging back from joining the festivities for some reason.

"Oh, Dad, that's so sweet." Lila gushed.

Gabrielle rose and kissed her father on the cheek. "Thank you Dad." Hecuba stood with her cup,then cleared her throat for attention.

"These are momentous days." Hecuba smiled and reached for Lila's hand. "We have an announcement to make. Just before we came here,we were arranging a match. Our Lila is getting married!"

"Married? Lila!" Gabrielle hugged her little sister. "Congratulations! Who is he?"

"He's a very nice boy I met last winter." Lila started shyly, "and fell madly in love with! We're to marry at summer solstice in Potidaea. I can't wait!"

"I'm so happy for you!" Gabrielle gave Lila a kiss and a hug. The sisters withdrew a little way from the tables, holding hands, as Lila told Gabrielle all about her fiancee, occasionally giggling or lowering their voices to conspiratorial whispers.

Cyrene, who had since given up on finding the baby a father, had radiated love and pride since they had arrived with Eve. Now, she and Hecuba were exchanging anecdotes about their daughters' births, childhoods, often looking over at Xena, Gabrielle, and Lila with contented smiles.

Even though this kind of mushy stuff usually annoyed Xena a bit, she was happy too. Eve slept peacefully in her arms, oblivious to the celebration in her honour. For now, at least, she could put all the troubles and uncertainties that were sure to lie ahead aside, and just enjoy the moment. She looked around at the two families, and Joxer. She couldn't forget Joxer. His gift to Eve had been the soft green cashmere blanket she was wrapped in now. His was the most modest of the gifts she and the baby had received, but it had meant a lot. Joxer had very little, and the fine cloth probably cost him weeks of going without.

The warrior wanna-be was at the back of the tavern, away from the light, and the other people. He didn't seem to notice Xena watching him; he was watching Lila, Gabrielle and all three parents, eyes full of longing. Without a word, he rose and slipped out of the inn. Xena would have gone after him then and there, but Eve was so soundly asleep, she didn't dare disturb her.

After about an hour of more toasting, more gifts, everyone started to drift away to their rooms. Lila and Gabrielle were still gossiping about about her new fiancee, and goings-on back in Potidaea as they went upstairs. That wouldn't have upset Joxer would it? Lila did once have a bit of a crush on him. No,that wasn't right. Gabrielle was the only one for Joxer. This was something deeper.

"Are you coming to bed, love?" Cyrene appeared at her elbow, reaching over to push aside the blanket for a better look at her grand-daughter. "Where did this come from?" She fingered the soft wool.

"This was Joxer's gift, remember?"

"Ah, yes. Where's he gone off to? He didn't give a toast or a speech; in fact I don't remember him being here at all after giving you his present."

"He was here. I feel like stretching my legs before bed. We're going for a little walk."

"I'll take the baby, then."

"No, she's coming with me."

"Xena..." Cyrene started, mouth set in a disapproving line.

"She'll be fine, Mom." Xena went out despite her mother's protest, into the peaceful stillness of a late spring night. The moon was a crescent,the stars, brilliant. Crickets sang, cicadas chirred and the air smelled of growth. New life, new beginnings, like the little life she cradled to her chest.

She found Joxer on her circuit of the inn, sitting under a gnarled old cypress that squatted in front of Mother's grove of olive trees like an ugly sentry. Mom had never like the old tree and had been threatening to have it chopped down for firewood for as long as Xena could remember. When she was little it had been a favorite place for daydreaming, and whenever Mom talked about cutting it Xena would put up an enormous fuss. Her brothers teased her about this but the tree had stayed. Joxer was leaning up against the trunk, helmet hung on a low branch, looking at the stars. Moving quietly, she joined him.

"I'll go if you want.."

"Sit." Xena said, then gave him a smile. "You haven't held her yet, have you?"

"Hold...Me? You'd let me hold her?" He whispered seemingly overcome with emotion.

"Of course...if you take your armour off first." She didn't want Eve cutting herself on any of the metal bits he called his armour.

"My...Right!" He rushed to undo the straps and buckles that held it all together and set it aside, quietly as he could manage.

"Now hold your arms like this..." She arranged his arms and laid Eve into them. He took a deep shuddering breath and cradled her closely, reverently. There were tears shining in his eyes. Xena had an idea what was bothering him now. Eve yawned and flailed her tiny arms finding his finger she held on tight, opening her big blue eyes to look at him.

"She's so beautiful." He whispered. "Hello Eve. Welcome to the world."

"You left before giving your toast."

"I was just going to say that she's really lucky to have such a brilliant Mom, and I know she'll always be loved and protected. That's the most important thing in the world."

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" Xena said, leaning back and putting her arm around his shoulders.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her.

"I'm fine. Tired and sore, but I'm okay." She sighed. "I can't imagine what your mother went through; three of you in one day."

"We were very small." Joxer said, "For the first week or so they thought we might not make it..." He stroked Eve's cheek with one finger. "She's a big girl though. Look at those rosy cheeks, and that grip! Like her Mom's."

"Why did you leave when you did?"

"I..um..well.. It was a family thing. I didn't belong there."

"Didn't belong? Joxer, that's not true." He wouldn't look at her. "What's wrong? Tell me."

"I had to leave...because I was jealous. The baby's party was no place for jealousy. It didn't feel right."

"Jealous? Of what?"

"Jealous of you and your Mom, and Gabby and her family. Cyrene was so happy for you. Herodotus and Hecuba were so proud of Gabby and Lila. They're all so close..."

"...and you never had that with your parents or your brothers." Xena suspected this was the root of the problem.

"Yeah." He said, quietly keeping his eyes on Eve. Xena had often tried to get Joxer to tell them about his family. His response was usually to change the subject quick. They hadn't even known he was a triplet until a few weeks ago,when they met his brother Jace. The little bits she did know and his reluctance to say anything more led her to believe he hadn't had an easy time of it, as a child. She'd always meant to find out more about him, but something always seemed to come up, and that fell by the wayside. She felt guilty about that because she loved Joxer as if he were her own flesh and blood. He was as much a part of her as Gabrielle was, and he really needed more than she was giving him.

"Joxer." He looked up from the baby girl's face. "you're like a brother to me and I'm proud of you." His eyes went as wide as full moons. "You've come a long way since we first met you." She'd never gotten around to telling him that either, though she always meant to. "It's not just flesh and blood that makes a family. We've got a bond that survived death. It brought you to Rome to find us."

That was a staggering thought,really. If his dreams hadn't drawn Joxer to them would Eli and Amarice have taken their bodies from the crosses, away from the Romans? What would have happened if he hadn't come and spurred them on?

"You'll always be family to me. Remember that." She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Come on 'Uncle Joxer', let's get her to bed. I'm beat." She rose retrieving his helmet and armour.

"Xena?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you..and..I love you."

"I know." She said. "I love you too." She glanced back over her shoulder, as he rose cradling Eve to his chest. "I hope you realize, as family, you're expected to babysit." She raised one eyebrow, with a little sideways smile.

Rather than looked trapped,or put upon, Joxer said, "Really? That would be great!"

"Did you have money for a room this time?"

"No,I was going to sleep under that tree."

"I think we can find you somewhere inside." Xena said. Cyrene was waiting for them at the door.

"I was wondering when you two were coming in. The baby should be in bed!" She leaned over to check on the baby, then looked up at Joxer, taking in the shining eyes and cheeks slightly marked by tears. She gave Xena a questioning look.

"We can fit Joxer in somewhere, can't we Mom?"

"Well, all the rooms are full, but he could sleep down here..."

"I was thinking he could have a cot in one of the rooms."

"Well, allright" Cyrene said, looking a little puzzled.

"I don't want to put you to any trouble..." Joxer said.

"Why don't you take her up to my room, Joxer? We'll be up in a minute." Xena said. Joxer went up, making baby talk with Eve.

"What was that all about?" Cyrene asked

"He needed to know he belonged," Xena said, "and that he still has family."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"He hasn't really got anyone except us, Mom."

"But, his family..."

"Has problems. They're not close." Xena said. That was as much as she knew. "Besides...I've come to think of him as...as a little brother."

Cyrene smiled. "I noticed the last time we were all together. You treat him very much like you did Lyceus. So. Where shall we put him? I've got a spare mattress and bedding but no more cots."

"The floor in my room then." Xena said. "I'll help you with the mattress, just-" she stopped as she heard the baby start to cry. "Joxer?" she called.

"It's okay." He answered after a second. "Phew. Time for a new diaper."

"I'm coming."

"I can do it."

"You trust him with the baby?" Cyrene asked.

"Yes. Do you know where the nappies are, Joxer?"

"Yup."

"And the basin and washcloths?"

"Yup."

"Joxer?"

"Uh-huh?"

"You do know how to change a diaper, don't you?"

"Of course I do!"

Xena and Cyrene got out the spare mattress and bedding and headed up to Xena's room. As they got to the door, Xena heard soft singing, and raised her finger to her lips for silence before entering. Joxer was sitting on the bed back to them, rocking gently. Her friend had a talent for music that he felt he had to hide, which really was a shame. You'd never suspect from his little theme song that he could sing quite well. He also played the lute and the lyre, and who knew what else. If he could play more than those, he'd likely never tell them. Eve was being treated to a rare performance.

Where will I wander and wonder
Nobody knows
but wherever I'm going I'll go
in search of a Rose

Whatever the will of the weather
and whether it shines or snows
wherever I'm going I'll go
in search of a Rose

I don't know where it's found
but I don't mind
as long as the world spins around
I'll take my time

I'll savour the softness of summer
I'll wrap up when winter blows
and wherever I'm going I'll go
In search of a Rose

Eve gurgled happily. "You liked that,huh? Maybe you'll be a musician when you grow up, or a bard, like Gabby. Or maybe a great warrior like your Mom. You can be anything you want, Eve, anything. Don't you let anybody tell you what you should be, or do with your life, okay? You be true to your heart, wherever it takes you.

"I tried to be...what my family wanted, but what my Dad wanted, what my Mom wanted, what my brothers expected of me, they were all different things. I tried so hard to live up to their expectations, that I didn't know who I was, or where I belonged. At least, not until I found your Mom and Aunt Gabby. Maybe I'm still not sure who I am, but I know one thing. I'm gonna be a good uncle to you. We're gonna have a lot of fun, you and me." Eve gave a happy coo, and Joxer tickled her belly, putting on a silly voice. "Yes we are, Yes we are.."

Xena cleared her throat,and Joxer whirled, startled, immediately turning several shades of pink.

"Oh..Hi..er..Hi.." He got up and passed Eve to her, "We were just..uh.."

"I know." Xena smiled. He relaxed slightly and helped Cyrene set out his bedding. Cyrene kissed daughter and grand-daughter goodnight and left them. Joxer looked on as Xena put Eve down in her cradle, then they both settled down for the night. Xena could hear Gabrielle and Lila next door, chattering away like two schoolgirls at a slumber party. Softer, soothingly, the crickets and the wind in the olive grove made their own soft lullaby. Xena was at the edge of sleep when Joxer spoke.

"Xena?"

"Yes,Joxer?"

"Way back when, when we first met, why did you let me travel with you and Gabby? What did you see in me?"

"What I see now. A good man who hasn't quite found his Way yet." She said sleepily, then growled, "Now go to sleep! You're buggin' me."

She opened her eyes to find him grinning at her knowingly then he lay down. "'Night Xena."

"Night Joxer."

"Don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Uh-huh.."

"Sweet dreams.."

"Okay,now you're pushing it."

"Right."

Please take the time to write to Kit at ktmac13@softhome.com, and let her know how you liked the story!

Author's Note:
I started this very early on in the season, before meeting Jace, and way before learning about the baby and what she will mean, so continuity just goes right out the window, I guess. The song Joxer sings is called In Search of a Rose, by the Waterboys, I tried to make up my own, but as you can see it didn't work.

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Cyrene, Lila, Herotodus, Hecuba, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "In Search of a Rose" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2000 by Kit MacLeod and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.