Rating: Eh, PG.
Genres: drama, "in-between" vignette
Spoilage: Livia mostly, glancing spoilage for Looking Death in the Eye, Eve, and Motherhood.
Language: Mild.
Violence, Sex, & Subtext: None. (Darn.)
Subtext: None intentionally.
Summary: Some things grow no less with time.
Continuity: Read "When She Talks"? Read "Keep Myself Awake"? Y'all set then. Oh, and I jeer mockingly at the vast bland pudding that is season six in its entirety. Just so's y'know.
Inspiration: In the majority the Dixie Chicks and their sweetly harmonized and haunting songs of pain and quiet desolation, most notably "Cold Day in July", "You Were Mine" (which gave me the title), and "Let Him Fly". Sting's poetic "Ghost Story", which in between bouts of begging for a story of its own saw fit to toss in fits of inspiration for this one. And more country songs (the music of paaaaaaaaaaaaain): "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw and Lonestar's "Lonely Grill". Cheerfulness is a four-letter word in the land of Kawy's Muse.
Disclaimer: Did I mention the mocking jeering is also directed in vast quantities towards MCA/Universal and RenPics, who own Xena the Warrior Princess and all extenuating circumstances therefrom? Well, I'm mentioning it now.

COLD DAY IN JULY
By the Dixie Chicks

The moon is full
And my arms are empty
All night long
I've pleaded and cried
You always said
The day that you would leave me
Would be a cold day in July

Your bags are packed
Not a word is spoken
I guess we said
Everything with goodbye
Time moves so slow
And promises get broken
On this cold day in July

Sun's coming up
Coming up down on Main Street
Children shout
As they're running out to play
Head in my hands
Here I am standing in my bare feet
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away

You said that we
Were gonna last forever
You said our love
Would never die
It looks like spring
And it feels like sunny weather
But it's a cold day in July

Oh, sun's coming up
Coming up down on Main Street
Children shout
As they're running out to play
Oh, head in my hands
Here I am standing in my bare feet
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away

The moon is full
And my arms are empty
All night long
How I've pleaded and cried
You always said
The day that you would leave me
Would be a cold day in July

Here comes that cold day in July

Some things time did not touch; after twenty-five years the curve of his mouth was the same, the slant of his eyes and the way they sparkled when he was excited--they were little Mariel's eyes now, not so little after sixteen years. They were his little girl's eyes for now, and she supposed for forever. But first they had been his.

--She didn't move when she understood at last. Somehow she didn't move. "You're leaving," Meg said. She didn't move.

"They're here, Meg," he said again, "you won't believe it, they're here, after all this time, they've come back, Gabrielle and Xena--"

Joxer was packing as he babbled, cramming his things from the bedroom around them into a battered leather pouch. Back and across his hands fluttered--Virgil's, now, Virgil's hands, she thought with sudden fierceness, but first they had been his, Virgil's hands.

"You want to leave with them," Meg said. "You want to drop everything and go with them?" At the last instant she remembered to turn it into a question.

"It's Gabrielle. And Xena," Joxer said, as if explaining. He spoke to her in the loud, slow, cheerful voice one would use on a small, slow child.

Don't do this, Joxer, she told him in her head. Don't do this. You don't need this. You don't need them. And in her head he nodded and looked thoughtful and began unpacking.

She could slap him, once, hard across the face. She could throw herself onto his feet and refuse to move or let go. She could remind him of his children, the ones this dear old girl had given him and that they had not.

Yes. Dear old girl Meg, who went and got herself a man and turned into a mouse.

She could beg him, couldn't she? Joxer was a good man; he was a good husband. She could beg him not to leave and he would stay, because she was his wife and and he was her husband and a good husband would stay with his wife. Wouldn't he? He would stay because it was right, and if he never again looked as alive as he did right now, she could accept it. Couldn't she? For twenty-five years she'd accepted it, and they'd be dead soon anyway--

Her stomach gave a funny lurch, because he was stroking her hair back from her face, gently. On Virgil's third birthday he had been bitten by a big dog, and Joxer had stroked Virgil's hair like this while he cried. Meg had been so frightened because the dog was so big and the bite was so big and Virgil was crying so hard--but Joxer took her hand and squeezed it in one of his, and he stroked Virgil's head with the other. "I know it hurts, big guy," Joxer had said, and his hand was warm against hers. "But Mama and I are going to be right here until it gets better."

He stroked her hair, this man who had been her husband. Xena and Gabrielle had been gone for twenty-five years, Joxer had been her husband for twenty, they had been back for half an hour, and already she was thinking of him in the past tense. "Dear old girl," he told her, "my favorite Meg." He stood up from the bed and looked down at her, fondly. "Always looking out for old Joxer, aren't you?"

She was an old girl, and he was older than she was; his hair was gray and he had wrinkles and sometimes he limped when he walked. But some things time did not touch, and after twenty-five years she looked at the bag in his hands and knew how much she mattered.

Joxer would never hurt her. He was a good husband, a good man; he did the right thing and he loved their children he loved her and took care of them all. To know that he was hurting her he would have to figure it out after twenty-five years. It was never in his nature to hurt her, so he couldn't see when he did.

"I'll be back in a few days," Joxer told her cheerfully. "Meg? Did you hear me? I said I'll be back in a few days."

"Yeah," she said. "You'll be back in a few days. Kiss the kids before you go. Say hi to Xena and Gabby for me."

Joxer stroked her hair again, kissed her cheek.

Meg stood up and walked him to the door. She gave him a little wave as she shut it behind him.

She had been strong for twenty-five years. She made it almost back to the bed before her sobs crumpled her to the floor.

Please take the time to write to Kawcrow at kawy@cox.net, and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Meg, and all other characters who have appeared in either series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "Cold Day In July" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2001 by Kawcrow and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.