Filk: "Joxer the Wannabe Warrior"

Filksong: Joxer the Wannabe Warrior
(To the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

You know Gabby and Xena and even Achilles;
Hercules, Ephiny, Draco, Ulysses;
But do you recall
The most infamous warrior of all?

Joxer the wannabe warrior, (Warrior)
Had a very shiny hat; (Like a colander!)
And if you ever saw it, (Saw it)
You would want to smash it flat; (Like a pancake!)
All of the other warriors, (Warriors)
Used to laugh and call him names, (Like Pipsqueak!)
They never let poor Joxer, (Joxer)
Join in any warrior games! (Like Candyland!)

Then one soggy Solstice Eve,
Xena came to say; (Ayiyiyiyi!!!)
"Joxer with your hat so bright,
Won't you guard my horse tonight?"

Then how the warriors loved him, (Sort of)
As they shouted out with glee, (AAYYEEEEEEEE!!!!)
"Joxer the wannabe warrior, (Warrior)
You'll go down in history!"

YOU'LL GO DOWN IN
HIIIISSSS-
TOOOOOORRRRR-
EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

(Like John Wilkes Booth!)