by Kawcrow

Copyright 2000

Fifteen men tried Xena to best
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
Sword and the woodstaff had done for the rest
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
The warlord strung like a fresh-caught pike
His sidekick brained with an iron spike
And sergeant's throat was marked belike
Blood flow twisted by fingers two
And there he lay, his face turned blue
Her rage was wild but her aim was true
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!

Fifteen men and a mighty fuss
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
Dead and be damned into Tartarus!
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
They all lay gasping among the gore
Where the warrior's round killy thing had shore
And the warlord he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the Argo mare
Ate hay 'mongst their lifeless stares
And nibbled grain without a care
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!

Fifteen men came at her in dark
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
Five of them down in an instant's spark!
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
'Twas a good fierce kick or an length of steel
Or a round of punches to make 'em reel
And her warrior's shriek to their cowards' squeal
And there they lay with surprised eyes
Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrawise
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!

Fifteen men thought her easy prey
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
Fifteen men that won't be walking today
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
They went for the bard with hair of gold
Gabrielle grabbed them in a strangle-hold
And then with her staff, Gabby knocked 'em cold
And they lay there that took the plum
These girls, like sharks, turned them to chum
These men, you can see, were mighty dumb
Don't fight these femmes is the rule of thumb
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!

Xena, Gab, and Joxer between
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
And a cooler three there had never been
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
With a flimsy sword one dark brigand fought
He yelled that he'd leave Joxer there to rot!
And Gabrielle smiled and said, "Maybe not"
And never once did all their courage fade
As the brigand saw his fate made
Waved sad good-bye as he met Xena's blade
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!

Fifteen men tried Xena to best
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
Sword and the woodstaff had done for the rest
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!
They wrapped survivors in ropes tight
And gave high-fives for the Cause Of Right
And went to make their camp for the night,
With an Ay-Yi-Yi! and a fare-you-well
Went far off, before things began to smell
The dead bad dudes started off for Hell
Ay yi yi and a bloody chakram!