"The Difficult Kind"

The Difficult Kind

Rating: PG-13
Genres: Drama, romance, GJRFic
Spoilers: A Comedy of Eros, Forget Me Not
Language: No bad words.
Sex: Eeeeewwww! None whatsoever. Sorry to disappoint ya. :)
Violence: Gabrielle says some pretty hurtful things to Joxer.
Subtext: Zip, zilch, Nada Naga. NONE.
Summary: Having hurt him deeply, a guilt-stricken Gabrielle searches for Joxer.

"The Difficult Kind"
By Sheryl Crow

I think I was wrong
I think you were right
All my angry words
Will keep me up at night
Through the old screen door
I still hear you say
Honey won't you stop
Treating me that way

If you could only see
What love has made of me
Then I'd no longer be in your mind
The difficult kind
Cause babe I've changed

Tell it to me slow
Tell me with your eyes
If anyone should know
How to let it slide
I swear I can see you
Coming up the drive
There ain't nothing like regret
To remind you you're alive

If you could only see
What love has made of me
Then I'd no longer be in your mind
The difficult kind
Cause babe I've changed

I crossed the canyon a thousand times
But never noticed what was mine
What you'll remember of me tonight
Well, it almost makes me cry
Yeah, it almost makes me cry

Oh ballbreaking moon and ridiculing stars
The older I get, the closer you are
Don't you have somewhere that you need to be
Instead of hanging here making a fool of me

If you could only see
What love has made of me
Then I'd no longer be in your mind
The difficult kind
But you won't see the change in me
If you could only see
What love has made of me
But I'll forever be in your mind
The difficult kind
But you won't see, no you won't see
The good in me
But babe I've changed
Cause babe I've changed

A petite young woman entered the shop, making a beeline for the counter. She wore a traveling cloak, with the hood pulled tightly about her head, but what showed of her face was haggard and worried.

"May I help you, miss?" the merchant asked in a bored tone.

She nodded. "My name is Gabrielle. I was in here a few weeks ago buying supplies with a friend." She pulled out a rough charcoal sketch of a dark-haired man. "This is what he looks like. Taller than me, dark hair, dark eyes, talks loudly. Probably wearing some sort of funny-looking armor." She looked at him hopefully. "Have you seen him? It's important."

The merchant shook his head. "Can't say that I have. A guy like that around here would be hard to miss, though."

The girl slumped. "That's what every other person in town has told me," she said dully. "Thank you for your time." She turned to leave.

"Now miss, hold on there a moment!" The merchant tugged at his beard, thinking. "I wouldn't know if this is the man you're looking for, but I was talking with my cousin Alyios from Corinth, and he mentioned a fellow who had come in to his shop about a week ago. Cursed about the man horribly, Alyios did! Said he knocked over two full shelves of fine wine in his shop. Thousands of dinars gone." He shuddered in horror at the thought of all the money lost. "Just horrible."

"That's him!" the girl exclaimed. "Thank you very much." She beamed and headed for the door.

"Now wait! It's a very long walk to Corinth." The merchant rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Could I interest you in some nutbread for the road? Rock-bottom prices."

Gabrielle trudged along the dusty road, her mind on Joxer. Why had he taken off like that, so suddenly? Was it something I said? Surely he knows I didn't really mean most of the things I said in that fight.. We fight all the time, and we never really mean it, right? Why should now be any different? Just because he read something he didn't like in my scroll, didn't mean he had to get all upset about it. Right?

But she suddenly felt herself shivering, even in the hot afternoon sun.

A turn in the road led her past a small meadow, sheltered by trees. A statue perched on a rock in the center of the glade; though weather-beaten, the statue's inviting smile and scanty clothing was readily apparent. A shrine to Aphrodite.

Gabrielle stopped to fish in her pack. An offering to the goddess couldn't hurt, and with Corinth and Joxer a week's walk ahead, the blonde bard could use all the divine help she could get. Carefully she poured a generous amount of wine into the statue's stone basin, then added a chunk of nutbread for good measure. "Goddess Aphrodite, accept this offering," she whispered. "My friend Joxer has run away for no reason. Please lend me aid in my search for him."

"What's the matter, sweetcheeks?" the statue said. "Your little feet getting tired from all that walking?"

Gabrielle looked up in a hurry. What had been a stone sculpture moments before was now living, breathing, barely-clad flesh. "Aphrodite! What are you doing here?"

"What? A goddess can't come admire her own bodacious bod set in stone once in awhile?" Aphrodite leered. "Besides, this statue is a notorious lovers' hangout, and you wouldn't believe the gossip that gets around during a makeout session!" She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Did you know that King Minos' wife had an affair with a bull? A bull!! Far out!"

"I'm sorry, Aphrodite, but I don't have time to sit around gossiping today." The bard shouldered her pack and walked back onto the road. "It's a long walk to Corinth. Besides," she called back over her shoulder, "everyone's known about Pasiphae and the bull for years."

"Now hold on, miss thang!" Aphrodite scolded, hands on hips. "Weren't you the one just a second ago moaning and groaning about your boy-toy running off? What happened, did he get wise and dump you for some rich ugly gal?"

Gabrielle shook her head vigorously. "It's not like that! Joxer and I are just friends."

"Uh-huh." The goddess smirked.

Giving her a black look, Gabrielle went on. "Something's upset him, and I have to find out what. It's not safe for him to run off like that, not thinking. Wait, what am I talking about, 'thinking'? It's Joxer. It's not safe for him to run off like that, thinking even less than he normally does."

"So what's he in such a snit about? Did you fight with him? A lovers' quarrel?" Aphrodite rubbed her hands together eagerly. "Lovers' quarrels are a blast!"

"Well... we did sort-of-almost-kind-of fight the night he left. But I never wanted him to leave!" she added defensively.

Aphrodite looked wise. "But I bet you still said some things you didn't mean, right? Angry words can keep you up at night."

Gabrielle looked at her hands. "Joxer and I fight all the time," she said quietly. "But we never really mean it. He knows that I don't really mean everything I say when I'm angry! Doesn't he?"

"Doesn't he?" the goddess echoed softly.

Gabrielle said nothing.

"Fine," Aphrodite sighed, "you've got me interested in all this now. Come sit next to 'Dite and tell me what happened."

Gabrielle took a deep breath.

"It was about three weeks ago. We were camped in the woods after dispersing a group of outlaws..."

"FINE, Gabrielle!!" Xena snapped. "I swear on the bones of all my ancestors that I have not been touched your scrolls again! Are you happy now?!"

"Deliriously happy." Gabrielle scowled. "Well, if you didn't mess with them, who did?"

"Take a wild guess." Xena nodded in the direction of a slumped figure perched on a rock some two hundred yards away. "Try not to chew him up into too little of pieces, Gabrielle. It's been a long day."

Like a raging thunderstorm, Gabrielle descended on the man responsible for her scrolls' disarray. "JOXER! What is the explanation for this?" She held out a crumpled piece of parchment with a trembling fist. "Well?! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Astonishingly, Joxer seemed not to have heard her. He continued what he was doing, reading a scroll written in a suspiciously familiar handwriting.

"I knew it!" Gabrielle shrieked in triumph. She snatched the scroll from his grasp and held it aloft. "How many times have I told you not to touch my scrolls, Joxer? How many times? SIXTY-SEVEN! SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, you have ignored everything I say!"

"Aww, Gabby, I was just reading them because I like them!" Joxer protested. "You're a great writer!"

It had been, as Xena had said, a long day. Gabrielle had been banged, hit, punched, and above all bled on by dozens of bandits. She was hungry, and she needed a bath. Her skirt had a tear in it. She had a bad case of writers' block. Her bedroll was infested with fleas, and she had an uneasy feeling that something living was crawling about in her hair. And now she was going to have to spend the next hour putting her scrolls back in order, in the dark. Gabrielle was mad. She had a right to be mad! And here was the perfect scapegoat, a big, harmless target named Joxer. No way she was letting her chance to vent slip by with just complimenting her writing skills.

"Don't you 'Aww Gabby' me!" she snapped. "You're an idiot if you think I'm going to let you off that easily! What kind of fool do you think I am, you dope? I've told you again and again to never touch my scrolls, and you never listen to a word I say! Why do I even bother?" She gathered herself for her big theatrical finish. "Now," she hissed ominously, "get out of my sight!"

Joxer stared at her, his face frozen. "Stop treating me this way," he whispered. Then suddenly he averted his eyes and stumbled back into the woods.

Suddenly, Gabrielle felt awful. Her eyes began to fill with tears. I can't believe I said that to him!

"Gabrielle, Joxer didn't deserve that, and you know it," Xena said coldly. "You owe him an apology. A big apology."

"I-I know," Gabrielle whispered. She couldn't bring herself to meet Xena's gaze. "I promise I'll apologize as soon as he gets back. I'll make him breakfast all month, I swear."

Xena's tone did not change. "I don't think food will fix this, Gabrielle. What you said will really hurt him."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll say I'm sorry in a little bit. He'll be back soon.," she insisted.

That's what she told herself, over and over, the first night. And the second. And the third. Finally, she admitted it: Joxer wasn't coming back.

"Xena, we've got to find him!" Gabrielle pleaded.

"Wrong." Xena carefully polished her sword's hilt with a bit of leather. "You've got to find him."

Gabrielle blinked. "What? You're not coming with me?"

"You're the one who decided to rip into Joxer like that." Xena's eyes were cold blue steel. "Now you're the one who's going to have to get down on your knees and beg his forgiveness." She shook her head in disbelief. "Gabrielle, you've always been a little of the difficult kind, but I've never seen you so deliberately cruel to someone before. I know you like to pick on Joxer sometimes, but this time you crossed the line. You don't know how much you affect him! You don't know how much he--" With a visible jolt, Xena regained control of herself. "I don't know if he's going to forgive you, and I'm not going to get involved this time. It's between you and Joxer now." In one swift motion, she lowered her sword and grasped Gabrielle's wrist. "But I'm warning you, Gabrielle--if you don't go after him, you'll be making the worst mistake of your life." Xena released her and looked back down at her weapon. "Joxer took the road following the river. He's got several days on you. I'll be waiting here until you both come back. Get moving."

Slowly Gabrielle bent to pick up her pack. She started walking in the direction of the river, looking back several times.

Xena did not look up.

"...and I've been trying to find him ever since," Gabrielle finished. "He was only a few days ahead of me in the beginning, but I've had to stop in towns and ask if he's passed there. And... I've felt like dirt every step of the way. I don't know why what I said upset him so much. But--" She looked up, to see her audience of one, Aphrodite, gently banging her head against the statue's stone base. "Aphrodite, what are you doing?"

"Are you kidding me?" Aphrodite blurted out. "You mean to tell me that you've known the studmuffin this long, and you still don't realize why he hightailed it out of there so fast?" She shook her head in wonderment. "I knew mortals had tiny lifespans. I didn't know they had tiny brains to go with it."

The bard bristled. "Look, 'Dite," she snapped. "I don't see what you're getting at. Joxer is my friend. I know him pretty well."

"Well, obviously not as well as you think you do!" Aphrodite shouted. "NEWS FLASH, sweetcheeks! Boy without a brain loves girl without a clue! And I don't mean he loves you in a 'friendly' way!"

Gabrielle paled. "That's impossible! Joxer couldn't love me. He only loved me once because of that arrow Bliss shot him with."

"Trust me, babe, there was no arrow! I'm the love goddess, I know these things! That love he showed for you was 100-percent Joxer, no artificial preservatives. And if you ask me," Aphrodite added, watching Gabrielle closely, "today you wouldn't even need Bliss' arrow to go all googly-eyed over my boy Joxer."

Gabrielle laughed. "That's ridiculous! Joxer is just my friend."

"But a really good friend, right? Think about it. You've been chasing after him for a month, and for what? Just so you can make yourself miserable again when you find him? Face it, girl. You really care about this guy." Aphrodite sat back, looking smug. "Chew on that for a sec."

Gabrielle sat stunned for several minutes. When she finally spoke, her voice was hoarse with urgency. "Aphrodite, I have to find him. I have to--"

"Wait, wait, wait," Aphrodite interrupted, waving away her protests. "I can get you to Corinth in no time flat.

"I don't know, Aphrodite," Gabrielle said suspiciously. "The last time a god sent me where I wanted to go fast, it brought me nothing but grief."

"Yeah, the whole Chin thing, huh? We had a few laughs at your expense on Olympus... but don't sweat it. What I want from you--is your writing skills! I want you to write my biography. 'Diary of a Love Goddess'... 'All I Need to Know in Life, I Learned From Aphrodite'... 'Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Carnal Pleasures'..." She smiled brightly. "Like the titles?"

Gabrielle sighed. "I know I'm not going to enjoy this, but... you've got a deal. You get me to Corinth, and I'll write your memoirs." Her expression suddenly shifted to alarm. "A biography is all you want, right?"

Aphrodite shrugged, waving as Gabrielle began to fade out in transit. "I don't know... since I'm immortal," she said thoughtfully, "I was thinking you could do a sequel, too..."

When she found him, he was waiting by the docks, about to board a ship to parts unknown. It hurt her how he froze when he saw her beside him. Before he could speak, she reached up to touch his lips.

"Just hear me out, Joxer. I'm so sorry for what I said to you that night. I was wrong. I've been the difficult kind, and I'm sorry for all the awful things I've ever said or done to you. Cause babe, I've changed. I know that I might hurt you again, so I just want you to know..." She took a deep breath. "That no matter what I say, I'll still love you always. I love you, Joxer."

Whatever reply he might have given her was cut off by a passionate kiss.

The End

Please take a moment to write to Kawcrow at kawy@cox.net and let her know how you like this story!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Aphrodite, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "The Difficult Kind" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999 by Kawcrow and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.