Wouldn't It Be Good
By Nik Kershaw

I got it bad
You don't know how bad I got it
You got it easy
You don't know when you got it good
It's getting harder
Just keeping life and soul together
I'm sick of fighting
Even though I know I should
The cold is biting
Through each and every nerve and fibre
My broken spirit is frozen to the core
Don't wanna be here no more

Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes
Even if it was for just one day
And wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away
Wouldn't it be good to be on your side
The grass is always greener over there
Wouldn't it be good if we cold live without a care

You must be joking
You don't know a thing about it
You've got no problem
I'd stay right there if it were you
I got it harder
You couldn't dream how hard it got it
Stay out of my shoes
If you know what's good for you
The heat is stifling
Burning me up from the inside
The sweat is coming through each and every pore
Don't wanna be here no more

Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes
Even if it was just for one day
And wouldn't it be good if we could wish ourselves away
Wouldn't it be good to be on your side
The grass is always greener over there
And wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care

It was a cosy camp scene; A roaring fire lit the trees in the woodland up nicely in the early dusk, and though not especially cold, the fire was still welcome. Sat in a close-knit circle around the flames, a quintet sat there calmed by the easy silence.

Joxer sat on his bedroll, looking at his friends around him. Xena, Gabrielle, Ephiny and Autolycus. He was glad to have friends such as these, who looked out for him as much as he tried to look out for them. Trusted them implicitly, but still - look at what who they are and what they've done...

Gabby, for instance. A girl like no other, beautiful, a talented bard - Zeus, she'd got accepted at the Athens Academy of Performing Bards! Lesser women and men would give their left hand for such a gift! And moreover, she could fight too. So handy with that Amazon staff, rumour had it that bandits steered clear of her and sought easier targets. And an honourary Amazon Princess, by virtue of a heroic act. Close friends and allies with the Amazons. Wouldn't it be good to be more like Gabby, Joxer mused to himself, his left hand cupping his chin thoughtfully. It must be easy to live a life like that.

Gabrielle felt Joxer's eyes upon her and cast her head around to him. To her surprise, his eyes had a thoughtful look, though his face was impassive. She wondered what was on his mind. She was having trouble with her scrolls again, just couldn't get past a scene she was writing. 'Bardic block' it was called. She'd had to discard several scrolls already and now she just wasn't in the mood at all to write anything.

She felt for her staff, laying it across her lap and scratching the tip absent-mindedly with her thumb. Being an Amazon wasn't as easy as she thought, particularly as most of the year she wasn't even in amazon territory. The trouble with being an amazon was that it tended to put people off. Men tended to steer clear of her and women gave her funny looks, but didn't say why. She'd become quite good with the staff though, and able to look after herself without having to call on Xena for aid in a skirmish. Not bad for a young girl from a farming village!

But someone like Ephiny - now there was an Amazon to admire. As deadly with the staff as Xena was with the sword, had united the Amazon tribes from the warring factions they were previously, formed a working alliance with the Centaurs, had married a centaur and had children, was Queen of an amazon tribe. Such achievements and character in a woman. If she, Gabrielle, could achieve half or a quarter as much, she could say her life had meant something. Wouldn't it be good to be more like Ephiny, the Potidaean reflected.

Ephiny sighed inwardly as the latest problems of her tribe milled around in her mind. Despite rumours to the contrary, it wasn't good to be Queen. Apart from the usual issues about food, water and weaponry, there was the factions arguing about the pecking order and the need to keep them happy about who had which positions. And then there was the question of space and whether the tribe had enough land to farm and hunt - though some were of a mind to hunt prey other than deer and boar. And she was expected to solve all the problems laid before her instantly.

Frankly, she'd had it up to here and if pushed much further might be inclined to rule with the iron fist approach. Which would have the benefit of shutting up the tribe for a while. And if that wasn't enough, she had family difficulties too. Her tribe being nomadic, made it difficult to spend time with Phantes. And her children were always asking why they could never spend time with their father or play with the centaurs. And even if she could, Amazon politics found a way of preventing it. It was a wonder she had any hair left at all.

Ephiny rubbed her blonde curls ruefully as she cast a glance at Autolycus. It must be good to live a life of ease and leisure and to not have a problem in the world. Wouldn't it be good to be the King of Thieves?

Auto, being Auto, caught her eye and flashed the Amazon Queen a winning smile, which won him a quizzical raise of an eyebrow but little else. It was hard being the best there was, but hey - somebody had to do it! And few could say they'd had Xena inside their body either, with the bonus that he'd had a few curious Amazons from that tribe have a chat with him and well... the old Autolycus charm never failed!

Of course, there was the eternal problem of any and every time he hit a new city, the guards watched him like a hawk. It was all very well having a reputation but it tended to go before him and then there was Hercules and Shorty. He liked the big guy but he tended to have a coloured point of view.

He sighed inwardly, then brightened. Now Xena owed him a 'favour' perhaps she could let him do the same for as he had for - Naah! It was a cert that Xena wouldn't see things his way, and however he put it he had the feeling that rejection and a right hook would go hand-in-hand. She had the annoying habit of asking favours that no-one could refuse, but when it came to returning favours, her memory was sadly lacking.

And then there was the issue of who his father was. He'd kept that under wraps from any and everyone, but it'd slip out sooner or later. And given Xena's views on the Gods, chances were it wouldn't look good for him.

Perhaps there were some advantages to being the best warrior in the known World. Wouldn't it be good if I was more like Xena, the King of Thieves wondered.

Xena's instinct flared up and turned to cast a stony glance at Auto, but instead of the cocksure look of confidence he always had mixed with a suggestive glance that he always seemed to save for her, there was only uncertainty there.

That struck her as odd, since the only thoughts he gave towards her generally were the lustful kind and he wasn't too shy either. She looked across at him again; He caught her staring at him, and answered with a nonchalant salute with a flick of a finger, which had moments before been stroking his moustache absent-mindedly. There was no twinkle in his eyes though, which made her curious.

It was good having a rest from fighting for a day or two, if only to let her bruises and wounds heal. Trouble with resting though, was that her mind got twitchy and got to thinking of what lay ahead, and of things past. Like how hard it was forever keeping Ares out of the loop, he just wouldn't take no for an answer. Her natural reaction was to keep fighting until he realised all his schemes would come to nothing and she'd never come back to him. No point in wishing for a quiet life though, she'd been there and her warrior spirit had come out despite herself. It was part of her, no denying it. The only trouble with having been blessed by Ares, was that every other man or woman who thought they could handle a sword or a spear, also thought her time was up and it was up to them to wrest the title off her.

Didn't bother her much, a fight was a fight and she lived for it, but her friends were likely to get hurt eventually. And that did bother her. Alliances weren't worth thinking about, as the Gods were fickle about such things and friends could be threatened, bribed or killed.

So as ever, it came down to being at the top of her game, razor-sharp instinct and tip-top condition. Which was fine now, but what happened when she got older and her body was unable to react like it could now? She didn't like to think about it. Hopefully by then, her friends would be settled down and far away. One of the advantages of having close but few friends.

But still, there were times when she cursed the fighting spirit within her, wished she'd never known the sharp end of a weapon and could live one day to another without worrying about potential ambushes, or seeing one of the Gods and groaning mentally as to what lay in store next.

A ordinary woman, to be not top of every warlord's list for killing or torture or kidnapping. Wouldn't it be good just for one day? Her mind flashed with possibilities, then smiled as she looked across the fire at her friend.

Wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care? Wishes might be all they were, but for all that, they were worth holding onto. And so were friends.

She stole away from the fire and waited in ambush. Sure enough, a figure came through the woods to the stream close by for a drink, whistling affably. She sidled out of the shadows, her blue eyes flashing in the gloom and leaning an arm upon a tree. "Hello Joxer, mind if we chat a while?"

Joxer, surprised firstly by Xena ambushing him and secondly by her wanting to talk to him, answered in the affirmative by nodding warily. Beckoned to sit down upon a handy flat rock close by, he did so and wondered what his impressive friend had on her mind she wanted to share. She was in a fair mood by the look of her smile, so that was a good sign.

Keen to put him at his ease, she sat down on the edge of the same rock and let her feet dangle in the water with the sound of a ripple disturbing the air. "Did you ever wish for yourself to be better than you were, or wanted to be someone else Joxer?"

There was a friendly tone to her voice that relaxed him and made him feel like talking freely. "Of course, Xena. All the time."

He spoke earnestly, taking his helmet from his head and placing it beside him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to fight well, or to say the right thing, or to love even..."

Xena smiled wryly at the last, but now was not the time. Now was the chance to tell him something about himself. "Don't you think I wish sometimes for a quiet life, for a rest from the fighting now and again? And yes, to talk too."

He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Yeah, I know," she chuckled. "Who's going to argue with Xena? She loves fighting, born for it...

"But you know," she continued, "every one likes a rest now and again. And even I dream of being someone else, now and again. And do you know who I dream of being?"

He shook his head. She inclined her head towards him and he instinctively looked behind him to see who she was pointing at. She smiled again, and took his hand, gently turning it inwards until his middle finger pressed into his stomach.

"Me?!" he yelped in shock.

"Yes, you Joxer," she said gently. "You're kind, generous, relaxed and without a care in the world. You only have one enemy, which is more than most people can say."

Joxer racked his brains, trying to think of who she meant. His brother Jett wasn't really his enemy, and no-one else sprang to mind. Oh wait, what about Draco?

"In here," she interrupted, tapped his head softly. "You're fighting against yourself. You are everything you could be, but you want to be more. Someone your family and friends can be proud of, yes? Someone to look up to?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted. "I want to be able to walk tall, to have my family recognise me for someone and my friends to believe in me."

"But," she pressed. "Your brother does look out for you. In his own way. And Gabrielle and I. We think of you all the time and you mean a lot to us. Isn't that worth something?"

He bit his lip, as he thought this over. Perhaps there was something more to life than being respected. To know that family and friends cared, maybe that was enough. It was said that the grass is always greener over there. Wouldn't it be good to be.......

Wouldn't it be good to be Joxer.

Please take the time to write to Jerry at studmuffin_jer@yahoo.com and let him know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Autolycus, Ephiny, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "Wouldn't It Be Good" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2006 by Jerry Hendy and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.