The camp slowly gathered in a large host around the Great Fire, with a discrete space left for the Amazon council to be sat to one side. The sea of bodies briefly parted for the wiry-bodied redhead striding purposefully to the set stools, then closed ranks behind her and the Council.

One of the vacant seats on the Council, as HighQueen-to-be, was Gabrielle. Saha noted the empty stool and sent a runner who eventually broke through the massed ranks of the crowd.

A tragic accident - that would be the conclusion. No-one could have foreseen that upright torch falling onto a cart of scrolls. And as for those jugs of oil being there that turned the fire into a raging inferno - well, that was just pure bad luck. Poor Gabrielle never stood a chance.

At least, that was supposed to happen.......

One minute she was idly flicking through a scroll, the next her tent was engulfed by flames. Startled and confused, it took her a few moments to realise what was happening. Jumping to her feet, Gabrielle pulled her Sais out and cut loose the ties that bound the tent door. As she forced the tentflaps apart, a volley of sling stones to her head and the end of a staff to her stomach struck home, staggering her backwards.

Scrambling groggily to her feet, Gabrielle was greeted by a chorus of *twangs* as all the ropes anchoring the tent to the ground snapped. Thinking on her feet, she quickly sized up the situation and threw herself to the ground to forestall the tent collapsing around her. Rolling on the ground, she succeeded in coating her skin and clothes in loose soil, and covered her head with her arms and hands.

The growing heat of the hide burning merrily around her made her pant heavily as she hugged the floor for air. The main poles propping up the loose hide of the tent weren't going to hold out much longer - nor her makeshift fireshield - as Gabrielle desperately peered along the worms-eye view for a bolthole.

Wriggling along the floor to the side of the tent, the Amazon High Princess made for a chink of light and breathed the night air with a sigh of relief. And saw her demise above her as a staff swung downwards with killing force.

"NOT A CHANCE IN TARTARUS," another voice said grimly, firing a crossbow.

"Who are you?" the assassin enquired angrily.

"GUESS."

The staff clattered to the ground as its owner collapsed likewise and the would-be victim clambered to her feet gratefully, Sais at the ready.

"WATCH YOUR BACK GABBY," a voice murmured from behind her.

She whirled round, but there wasn't anyone other than the body lying by the tent. "Hmm, that's funny," she thought aloud. "No-one calls me that but - Nahh!"

She shook her head in disbelief as Xena dropped to the ground deftly in the same instant, her eyes watching the surrounding area like a hawk. "What happened Gabrielle?"

"I'm not sure," Gabrielle said bemusedly. She felt on her dirt-caked skin and hair, but there wasn't a sign of scorching or burning anywhere on her. "I thought I was going to die - but the murderer seems to have been murdered."

Xena looked over at the fallen assassin, turning the body over and examining her. Now it was her turn to look confused. "There's not a mark on her. Either you've got friends in high places or there's something going on we don't know."

Both tensed, weapons at the ready as the sound of hasty footsteps neared. A young Amazon scampered up and curtsied. Her eyes widened as she caught sight of the fire and departed as rapidly as she arrived. The call went up, and suddenly the area was swamped with amazons in the form of a bucket brigade stretching from the nearby river.

"Well, if High Princess Gabrielle cannot come to the fire, then the fire must come to her," Saha remarked, joining the throng gathered around the charred remains of the tent.

She glanced at an empty space by the tent, then blinked suddenly as if it hadn't happened at all. Some of the Amazons started baying to Artemis and dancing, then stopped without knowing the reason why. Xena too, looked distracted, a faraway look in her eyes before jumping back to the present after Gabrielle tapped her on the shoulder.

It was as though everyone thought they saw something, then put it out of their minds as reality kicked in. Either the Gods were playing silly buggers again, or - well, Gabrielle preferred the first option. And then there was the case of her would-be assassins. Who could she trust amongst the Amazons other than Xena? And how did the assailant die without a bruise or wound on her? She didn't like this at all.

Maybe another's perspective would help? Or at least, someone who was genuinely neutral within the Amazon Camp. Gabrielle snapped her fingers - When is an Amazon not an Amazon?

"Xena, we need to talk to someone," she urged her friend, and walked off unnoticed in the chaos of the tent inferno and the assassination attempt.

"Well, that wasn't too bad, was it Boy?" Cyril offered, as the cage shut with a finality.

"IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE," Joxer agreed, deliberately crouched over the cage to cover the names of the candles as they vanished.

He mulled briefly over the events of his first time on the "job", the consequences of not taking Gabby foremost in his mind. He dismissed them quickly and picked up the cage. "COME ON CYRIL - GOTTA CHAT WITH A SHAMAN."

The centaur shrugged and followed on after - this night at least, he was the Master.

Having been this way before by accident, the Shaman's dwelling was visible from the river if you knew where to look. The door blew open on cue as Joxer stepped in, interrupting Dan in his studies.

"Hail, to you who would halt the work of the Lesser Oracle, Holder of the petrified weasel and Diviner of the unseen arts," Dan called out, without looking up from his papers.

"HAIL SHAMAN," Death's apprentice replied. "ANY LUCK OF THE RESEARCH?"

Dan did look up this time, taking in the familiar figure dressed in a white suit. "Nice outfit. I'll do it when I'm free."

"RIGHT," Joxer said determinedly, the dismissive attitude of the Shaman seriously pissing him off. He whipped out his crossbow and loaded it with a bolt, firing it at the desk. The projectile flew through the desk and hitting a rat by Dan's left foot. The rat squeaked briefly, then keeled over.

"Hey! That was my lucky rat," Dan protested, picking up the rodent and putting it on his desk.

"NOT THAT LUCKY, APPARENTLY," Joxer said, nonchalantly reloading his weapon.

Dan's face paled as he realised what the crossbow bolt had done - travelling through a solid desk and killed the rat without leaving a mark. He tapped the desk cautiously, which responded by giving a decidedly wooden sound.

"HOW ABOUT YOU? DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?"

Dan gulped and watched the crossbow warily as it rested casually on the desk. Even Joxer's smile had a chilling quality.

"I've done some research," he said hurriedly, producing a sheaf of papers as if by magic.

"GOOD - AND THAT WOULD BE?"

"One moment," Dan said. Opening a drawer of the desk, he pulled out a necklace of skulls and a floppy hat and placed both on his person. "That's better," he announced, grasping his staff.

"PART OF THE UNIFORM, IS IT?" Joxer queried.

"For a shaman, yes - else you feel naked."

"THE RESEARCH," Joxer prompted.

"You've been chosen by a God as an apprentice, yes?"

"YES."

"Been given immortal powers, and weapons worthy of the Gods?"

"YES."

"So why you don't have the powers now?" Dan said rhetorically. "I've checked various scrolls of Gods' dealings with mortals and there's nothing that said they lost their powers until the Gods decreed it." Joxer waited patiently - though not without a little menace - for Dan to finish his strokey-beard thinking time.

"It might be a confidence thing - have you been successful in your life?"

"FROM TIME TO TIME," the Warrior/Godling hedged.

"And was this immortality out of the blue?"

"SORT OF, YES."

"I think we have an answer then," Dan declared. "You've been less of a hit than you'd like and you want to succeed - trouble is, you have a mindset that says you can't. Break the mindset and you'll have the powers again."

Joxer reflected on this, absorbing the information and remembering something that happened with Sister Sousta and Gabby. Could this 'mindset' be overcome by an emotion? And specifically, what emotions?

"THIS MINDSET - COULD GETTING MAD BREAK IT?"

The Shaman nodded. "Don't see why not - an emotion will be more focused than a mindset would. But only as long as it lasts."

"COOL," the apprentice commented and chucked a small bag of coins onto the desk. "AS PROMISED - LATER!"

The Shaman fell on the bag of coins gleefully, emptying it into his piggybank. He paused mid-pour; "I wonder if...."

A twitch of the cobweb-styled curtains revealed a centaur and its rider riding upwards into the sky before vanishing in a flash of light. He looked at the rat again and shuddered, then resumed counting the windfall again.

"Xena, what did you see back there?" Gabrielle asked. "You looked - well, distant."

"Gabrielle, I'm not sure what I saw," her friend said slowly. "We were talking, Saha arrived and I saw -"

Her face strained as she tried to bring forth the image in her mind's-eye, then shook her head in exasperation. "I saw something but...."

"So who are we going to see?" she continued.

"The Lord of the Files."

The Lord of the Files was, as the title suggested, an archiver of scrolls and of the male gender. He was a 'she' until an unfortunate accident involving opening Alti's sealed chest and the scrolls therein.

This was a tricky one for the Amazon Council to mull over, as even Saha didn't know the scrolls as well as he did. He was still technically an Amazon, even if he wasn't a 'she'. A more salient point was perhaps that she/he was the only one who knew where every single scroll was and what each contained. Including small print and scandal that might prove embarrassing to senior officials, should they be broadcast to a wider audience.

It was hastily agreed that though he was a man, he was still an Amazon and so couldn't be ejected from his/her tribe or the Amazon Council. So there was an agreement drawn up - He could attend any Council Meetings, but all such meetings were optional and there'd be no pressure on him to attend. Which meant everyone knew where they stood.

Another consequence of opening Alti's chest was that the Tent of scrolls now sizzled with magic. Dark Magic, admittedly, but magic nonetheless. All of Alti's scrolls had to be treated with the same degree of caution - though it was said this was shutting the stabledoor after the horse had bolted - but in different ways. For instance, the Scrolls of ImpracticalJokes with the warning of "Laugh this one off" on the covering scroll was kept in a sealed leather bound case. The warning was taken as written after an Amazon knocked over a scroll and a giant boxing glove appeared from nowhere to punch her halfway across the camp.

There were rumours about Alti's chest too - that it had a personality of its own and legs that popped out from nowhere but even the Shaman council gave it a wide berth. Knowledge was a double-edged sword - it was good as long as you weren't facing the business end.

"So, you're telling me, that there's a man standing on the Grand Amazon Council and he's also an amazon?" Xena said incredulously.

"Yep - they tried to change him - her back, but he - er, she prefers the extra muscles and option of farting and belching in public," Gabrielle said uncertainly.

"Does he?"

"Awakened her masculine side, so they say."

"Well," Xena said non-committally.

A big tent loomed up, a darkness inside brightened only by candlelight within. Even the other tents didn't like it and kept a discreet distance from the dark opening. There was a white line marked outside the tent, with a pole and a bell on a rope. The two friends stepped up to the white line and stood by a sign marked 'Please wait' and pulled the bell.

There was a pause.

Then a doorway swished open and a man appeared, beckoning Xena and Gabrielle in. Xena shrugged and walked in, Gabrielle after her and the doorway became part of the canvas again. They blinked as they entered the tent, expecting it to be pitch black, but the light was far from dim.

Instead, the walls - for so they were - existed of shelves. And shelves. And more shelves. Shelves of scrolls, to be exact. The scrolls seemed to be illuminated somehow, giving the corridors a bright glow. There was a rustling amongst the shelves as the trio tread onwards towards a vanishing point of an open doorway.

"He doesn't say much, does he?" Gabrielle whispered.

"Not a lot," Xena agreed in a low voice. "Why are we whispering?"

"Um, don't know," the blonde said quietly.

Eventually, the corridor of shelves ran out, ending at the doorway. The man bowed to them at the door, and gestured inwards.

"This is where we go in, then," the High Princess postulated.

"You do," said another voice.

Xena peered through the open doorway to see a large sitting room - a roaring fire, a trolley of tea and a sofa opposite a comfy armchair. The top of a head could be seen from behind the chair, which swivelled round at her approach - as did the chair. She eyed the sitter carefully, watching him like a hawk for any sudden or rash movements. As he proceeded to do neither of these things, she nodded Gabrielle in.

Wearing a brown leather jerkin and pair of trousers with a frilly white shirt, he was unremarkable to look at - though the weathered skin and quiet calm evoked an undefinable aura. He had his hands clasped together as he waited for them to enter, then indicated they should sit down on the sofa. "Thankyou Jeeves," the man said to the other, who left as silently as he'd arrived.

"So you're now a man who was a woman with anti-men feelings," Gabrielle summed up bluntly.

"Yes. Ironic, isn't it?" Gently rising to his feet, he wheeled the trolley over. "Tea?"

They exchanged glances and nodded their acquiescence.

He saw the looks as he poured and smiled. "You were expecting a barbarian perhaps? In a dingy candle-lit tent?"

"It seems to be common knowledge," Xena said drily, accepting her mug and sipping it carefully.

"Can't think how that spread about," he said innocently, passing the other mug to the Bard. "So, Amazon High Princess, Warrior Princess - what service can I do for you?"

"There's a power struggle between the Grand Vizier and myself over who rules the Amazons," Gabrielle began.

"Not quite," Xena broke in. "She's perfectly happy for you to rule, as long as you do as she 'advises'."

Gabrielle mulled this contribution over and deliberated as to whether it was helpful or not. She decided it was and continued. "As an Amazon independent from all the in-fighting and politicking, who do you think the tribes will support?"

"Hmm, you're a Bard, aren't you?" Soris mused aloud.

"I am - What of it?"

Soris sat in his chair and leant back, keeping his eyes on the two women facing him as he considered the matter carefully. "Once upon a time, there was a land ruled by a Queen. Now this Queen was a bit out of her depth and her Council decreed that her Steward would 'steer' her towards practical policies that served the Kingdom best. The steward's rule - though not popular - was very effective and the Kingdom ran smoothly. Now this arrangement went very well until the Kingdom needed to expand - the Queen was happy with the current borders but her Steward saw that their neighbours' lands would have to be 'borrowed' for the Kingdom to survive. So all the ladies and Counts and Dukes and Barons of the Kingdom were called in from all over the known world to help decide this matter;

"The steward, annoyed that the Queen might make an unwise decision from uninformed minds arranged for the Queen to have an 'accident' and made plans to rule by Council. However, there was a young Princess from the far outlying regions of the Kingdom with a barbarian bodyguard, who had a claim to the throne.

"So the Steward and Council sought to instruct the Princess as they had her predecessor but found her headstrong and wishing to rule by herself. The Steward, being impatient and knowing the Princess was the last of the Royal line within her family, sought to eliminate her and rule openly. An unforeseen intervention by one of the Gods stopped another accident occurring and all the Lords and ladies gathered for the debate of the Kingdom worried about whom to support - the brash but pretty Princess, or the hard but effective Steward. Each of the aristocrats quickly came to the conclusion that to openly support one might very well be fatal if the other gained victory - not only politically but personally. Likewise, a Civil War would serve them no better. So, support for both candidates would be hinted at, whilst ensuring very vocal and personal support for whoever won."

"Who won in this - 'story'?" Gabrielle wanted to know.

"It became a matter of wills - whoever's was the stronger would succeed. Brute force and veiled threats," Soris said, gazing at Xena meaningfully, "failed. Only whoever proved themselves as the greater Leader."

The two women waited expectantly for more details. And waited.

"What did the brash princess decide to do?" Xena said finally.

"She went to see a Shaman."

"Well, that's lucky," Gabrielle smiled, casting a sideways glance at Xena.

That might prove a little difficult, Soris thought to himself. "Heel," he said aloud and a chest that had previously been behaving itself in a dormant fashion, shuffled over to Soris via a multitude of tiny legs that suddenly appeared from underneath.

Both women jumped and reacted instinctively, Sais and broadsword being deployed in record time. "What is that?" Gabrielle asked warily, pointing at it with a Sai.

"That?" Soris said airily. "Oh, that's Alti's chest - kind of why I'm here you might say. I'm the owner of it for now."

"Open." The wooden chest opened obligingly, revealing a set of fittings and hinges along its rim and edges in a sort of smile - the same sort of smile pirhanas have, in fact. The two women watched it warily as their host reached in and drew out an object amongst a loose heap of bric-a-brac piled within, before the lid shut firmly.

"My scrolls!" the Bard gasped thankfully, as Soris passed the bag to her. She leafed through them hastily and sighed with relief. "How in Tartarus did they get here?"

"All scrolls end up here," the man answered smoothly. "Though they do get changed slightly, due to the high magic field enclosed here."

Gabrielle looked thoughtful and pulled out a scroll at random, which flashed as the light passed over it. The Quill is Mightier read the title of the scroll. "Oh dear," the man said.

"Oh dear?" the scroll owner pressed.

He coughed and smiled thinly. "It might be wise if you dictated your scrolls for a while - at least until the magic wears off."

"You mean like an enchanted scroll?" Gabrielle quizzed him, pulling out a new scroll and a quill.

"Umm, not quite - just be wary of anything that might be associated with one of your scrolls," he warned.

She wrote a sentence experimentally and nodded with satisfaction. "Nothing wrong with that - Oh!"

The quill expelled a small amount of ink outwards.

"I think that's one in the eye for you Gabrielle," Xena observed with a ghost of a smile.

The blonde glared at her as she wiped the stain free. "Perhaps I should pull out the Warrior-Princess-Tramp scroll out and see what happens," she threatened.

"Don't panda to your instincts Gabrielle," Xena smirked.

"Ha.Ha.Ha. At least I'm not the barbarian bodyguard!"

"No, you're the brash princess!"

Soris sensed the consultation was at an end. Or at least, their minds were on other matters. Well, he'd dropped enough hints and clues - up to them what they made of it. Jeeves appeared on cue and bowed before the women. "Jeeves will show you out," Soris said and stood up patiently.

Xena grabbed his arm firmly for a quiet word. "One thing I'd like to know," she murmured. "You've been a woman and a man."

"And?"

"What do men really think about?"

"Hmm," Soris muttered, stroking his upper lip. "You know how they say men use sex to get what they want?"

"Yes?"

He cleared his throat and shook his head. "That's wrong. Sex is what I Ð er, they want!"

"Hah! I knew it!" Xena called out, spinning round and joining her friend and Jeeves.

Soris watched Jeeves escort the two friends up the corridor of scrolls, the scrolls twitching as they walked on. Knowledge was power and power existed here in its rawest form. Unfortunately, being only an Amazon and not a Shaman meant he had no actual control over the dark magic wandering loose - though his own transformation seems to have been the only effect on him personally.

Certainly it was the last time his curiosity had got the better of him; One moment she'd been watching over a sealed chest and a collection of scrolls, the next she was a he and taking a walk on the wild side; It was one thing for a building to appear from nowhere and be the main feature of the Camp, quite another going from being a youthful Amazon to a middle-aged man with all the physical problems that that entailed. The Shaman Council had been quick on their feet, containing the new building in a magical straitjacket while they debated what to do with what was inside - which included the hapless Soris.

Left to her/his own devices whilst the Council deliberated and cogitated over the phenomenon, Soris found that her physical appearance wasn't the only thing that had changed. The small collection of scrolls she'd been looking after, had been taken over by the ones in the chest and multiplied at will; The chest she'd unsealed turned out to be alive; And the building she was in was suddenly a lot bigger with lots of shelves and a living room sizzling with magical energy.

The chest had attached itself as a sort of companion, which had come in handy when representatives of the Shaman and Amazon Councils demanded she hand herself and everything else over for a detailed examination. The chest had trotted over and opened its top to leave a yawning gap before slamming it down again. The members of the Council decided they didn't need an examination of anything after all and hurried away, keeping a watchful eye on the menacing chest.

Having established herself as a 'he' and a position slightly better than the previous post of "Scroll Muggins"(i.e. a job that no-one else would touch with a bargepole), he'd found the perks of being a male Amazon, temporary owner of a loony chest and sole controller of the scrolls very appealing. The cons of working with all that dark magic loomed large every day and there remained the remote possibility that Alti might come back and reclaim her scrolls and chest, but that was highly unlikely...

...More coming soon!

Please take a moment to write to Jerry at studmuffin_jer@yahoo.com and let him know how you like this story so far!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Alti, Celesta, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. Terry Pratchett's "Discworld" series as well as concepts from that series are owned and copyrighted by him and his publishers. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2001-02 by Jerry Hendy and is his sole property along with the story idea. The characters of Miranda, Cyril, Saha, Soris, and other amazons are the creations of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.