I Ran
By A Flock of Seagulls

I walked along the avenue
I never thought I'd meet a girl like you
meet a girl like you.
With auburn hair and tawny eyes
The kind of eyes that hypnotise me through
hypnotise me through.

And I ran - I ran so far away
I just ran
I ran all night and day - I couldn't get away.

A cloud appears above your head
A beam of light comes shining down on you
shining down on you.
The cloud is moving nearer still
Aurora-borealis comes in view
aurora comes in view.

And I ran - I ran so far away
I just ran
I ran all night and day - I couldn't get away.

Reached out a hand to touch your face
You're slowly disappearing from my view
'appearing from my view.
Reaches out a hand to try again

I'm floating in a beam of light with you
beam of light with you.
And I ran
I ran so far away
I just ran
I ran all night and day

And I ran
I ran so far away
I just ran
I couldn't get away.

"Joxer – No!"

Being a hero's not all it's cracked up to be. Certainly a sword in my guts wasn't what I intended to happen when I ran at Livia, though I was a loss at how Xena was going to let her chakram fly loose with a sword at Gabby's throat.

Livia and her cohorts had obviously fled because the next thing I saw was Gabby, Xena and Virgil close by. I was filled with relief at Gabby safe, then a biting pain ripped through my stomach. My body shook and I glanced down at the gaping wound, grimacing as I did so.

Xena looked down at me, her eyes and hands working their magic. The pain ceased and I looked up at Xena gratefully, only to see an indiscernible shake of her head.

"It's not good, is it?"

She took a long intake of breath, then at Virgil and Gabby. "It's beyond my healing powers," she sighed.

"Does it hurt Father?" Virgil asked anxiously.

"Only when I laugh," I joked, giving him a reassuring glance. I coughed lustfully, then revealed my hand to show no blood. "Takes more than a mere sword to kill off Joxer the Mighty!"

Gabby and Xena managed to raise a half-smile at this, but I knew that in reality I didn't have long left. How long? I didn't know. I was just grateful the pain wasn't there anymore.

"Son," I said in a low voice, "Could you get me some water? I'm feeling a little thirsty."

"It's ok Virgil, I'll watch over him," Xena answered his questioning look. "Argo has one in her saddlebag."

My boy ran off to Argo. Gods, I was proud of him! I licked my lips uncertainly, my eyes stretching to see my closest friends. So much we've been through and now...

"Gabby... I..." I felt her hand close around mine. I reached out a hand to touch your face, stroking your cheek. "I want to explain Gabby, I feel I've let you down."

"Shhh, Joxer, you haven't let anyone down, least of all me," Gabby said, her face as beautiful as ever.

"I never thought I'd meet a girl like you - you gave me something to believe in, something to hold onto. I thought I'd lost you when you died on the cross, wondered what I was going to do. And then you came back."

My breathing became shallower and it became harder to find the words; not only from lack of breath but for fear that Virgil would come back before I finished what I had to say. He just wouldn't understand, not with his mother and Gabby. It was complicated...

I sighed, my eyes watching for my son's return. Gabby and Xena encouraged me to continue and I tried again. "I've been carrying a torch for you so long Gabby, so long. And I finally told you, afraid I would lose you before you knew. No strings, I said. I was happy with that."

Another racking cough interrupted, the wind making me shiver. "But then you told me you only loved me as a friend. I didn't take it well. I admit it. We saw each other less and less, and became more distant. I ran, Gabby. I ran so far away."

My face dropped down, ashamed. If it wasn't for the fact I was dying, I don't think I could have felt any lower or worse. A tear dropped from an eye, but the finger wiped it away that wasn't mine…

"Xena, what's going on?" Virgil asked in a quiet aside, out of sight from his father.

"They're saying goodbye, Virgil," she said softly. "There's a lot of history between them and if he hadn't met your mother, well-"

"They were that close?" Virgil said, startled.

"Yes and no," Xena continued. "Your father certainly, but Gabrielle? After her first husband died to Callisto, I don't think she felt she could ever commit to anyone again."

Xena laughed hollowly. "But I know her better than she does herself. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt you know. Come on back. And don't say anything to him, it'd upset him terribly."

She clapped him on the shoulder and strode back to the waiting pair. Virgil looked on thoughtfully, then followed her.

"Here's your water Father," Virgil breathed, gently lowering the canteen to his father's lips.

"Thanks Son, I needed that," I said gratefully. "You know, we've come full circle, me, Xena and Gabrielle; One of the first times we met, someone had a sword to Gabby's throat and Xena had to save us both."

"But that time," Gabby interjected with a chuckle, "the one with the sword at my throat, was you."

"There was that," I conceded. "But we haven't done too badly as a partnership, have we?"

"I would say not - Hero," Xena replied calmly.

I was confused and fell silent for a moment, biting my lip. Hero? Me? She can't be thinking straight, she must be saying that because I'm dying. I've never done anything heroic. I've tried lots of times, but never succeeded. "Xena-"

"Joxer, when someone rescues a friend, regardless of the consequences, even if they don't succeed, that's heroism last time I checked," the Warrior Princess answered firmly. "Especially if they sacrifice themselves..." she trailed off.

"A hero? That means a lot coming from you Xena," I said warmly, my eyes taking in my son, my heroine and my love in a circlular movement, before laying my head down on the ground. I was getting dizzy and it was getting more difficult to breathe. The cold wind didn't help either. But at least, I hadn't wasted my life - I'd done something with it, I'd travelled, made friends, saved people.

I lifted my head slightly and stopped shivering. Hey! The wind must have stopped. "Xena, I don't feel cold anymore..."

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COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Virgil, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "I Ran" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2005 by Jerry Hendy and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.