It seemed distastefully ironic to be at their own funeral pyres, but the crowd of mourners never noticed the ghost-like figures attending with the rest of them, save one who started when he saw them, but said nothing to his fellow mourners. Casting their sight over the assorted throng, it was like everyone they'd ever known had descended upon this lonely, forgotten place in the mountains. Even the Roman Garrison who'd crucified the luckless pair had deserted the mountain, though that was probably more to do with the death of Caesar than anything else.

Ameriece sang the funeral lament, her voice racking with emotion as she sang.

"I didn't know she could sing like that, " Gabrielle commented.

"Must have been something she did in her Amazon tribe," Xena said dryly.

There were representatives from Gabrielle's tribe, much depleted since Pompey raided the village; Hercules, Iolaus. Autolycus, Diana, Meg and Leah -

"How come you had so many lookalikes and I never had one?" Gabrielle said testily.

"Maybe they were out when we were visiting their villages?" Xena suggested.

Gabrielle glared at her and cast her eyes back at the crowd gathered around the pyres - so many lives they'd touched, made a difference to, helped in some way or another; She dabbed at her eyes, but found there were no tears to wipe away.

"Yeah, difficult to cry when you're dead, isn't it?" Xena said harshly.

"Oh!" Gabrielle said in realisation.

She'd forgotten her present circumstance, having got caught up in the occasion. She could still feel emotions, as Xena could, but she couldn't react to them; there was no pain, no tears, no laughter, nothing.

They held each other close as the flames rose higher, engulfing their lifeless figures, smoke belching forth and the sparks flying from the bonfire into the eyes of the bowed heads of the mourners. A thunderbolt struck the pyre, striking the cradles holding the bodies and the fire collapsed inwardly with a crash. The mourners scattered as the thunderbolt impacted and ran for the nearest cover, the rain coming down with a clatter.

"Well, that's that, then - time to go back to wherever we are now," Gabrielle said sadly, but Xena put her hand on her shoulder, halting her mid-turn, indicating a solitary figure still standing close by the smouldering ashes of the funeral pyre under the inadequate shelter of a young tree.

"But he can't touch or hear us!" Gabrielle said.

"Maybe not, but he saw us, and your presence near him could be the one thing that could give him peace - he took our deaths very hard you know, especially yours," Xena replied.

"Mm, I'll go over and talk to him," Gabrielle said thoughtfully. "There are a few things I want to talk to him about too - maybe both our minds can be put at rest." She went over to the lone figure, making him jump as she came upon him, deep in grief.

"Gabrielle!" he called out to her, happy at seeing her again. "But I thought you were dead?" he said in confusion.

She pointed to the rain, then to her totally dry hair and white cape. "Oh," he said miserably and he visibly deflated. "So are you ghosts then?" he said cautiously.

Gabrielle gave an emphatic shake of the head and wondered how best to describe what she and Xena were now, then decided against it. Trying to describe their current existence would be difficult enough with words, never mind solely with gestures. She pondered for a moment, then brightened as she got an idea. She reached inside her cape and pulled out a scroll, scribbling something down with a quill. She turned the scroll round for him to read and he read aloud.

"Soul spirits?" he said, clearly baffled. "Why didn't you go to the Elysian Fields?"

She tried again, writing something else on the scroll, attempting to clarify so he could understand better. It's a different type of Elysian fields, for really good people she wrote.

He didn't fully understand what Gabby and Xena were, or why they hadn't gone to the Elysian fields, but they seemed happy and that was the important thing. He wondered if wherever they were now, the dead could hear the thoughts of the living, like the Elysian Fields.

"So is this your last visit to the living?" he asked, hoping for the answer no.

She looked uncertain and shrugged. Probably she wrote.

"Then this will be the last time I see you both," he said, his voice laced with sadness. "So what's it like where you are?" he asked after a pause.

Gabrielle reflected for a moment on the higher plane where she and Xena now co-existed with all the other Soul spirits. It's very serene and happy, there's no time up there, you can sing songs, write poetry or stories, talk to each other, sleep or just sit by yourself

"It sounds like your kind of place," Joxer agreed.

Gabrielle hadn't missed the emphasis on the word "your" and she knew what he was driving at. I'm sure Xena will love it as much as I will Gabrielle had written, her face firmly set, dismissing any ideas of her best friend not being at home in peace, tranquility and serenity.

Xena watched Gabrielle and Joxer talking together - one of them talking anyway - and wondered to herself what it would mean, not being alive anymore. The kind of things Gabrielle had always been pressing her to notice, like learning to smell the flowers: the power of the Sea, the wind brushing through the trees - her thoughts ceased mid-stream, as she sensed an old adversary behind her.

"Yada-yada-yada; Like you missed any of those things before?" The God of War laughed, appearing by her left shoulder. "What you'll miss is the rush of blood through your veins, the clash of swords, bashing heads and generally kicking butt!"

"Hello Ares," she said tonelessly. "So what was with the thunderbolt?"

"Well, I thought it was a nice touch," he chuckled. "Your final send-off going off with a bang!"

"Very amusing Ares, but in case you hadn't noticed, that's the last opportunity you'll get to harass us," said Xena defiantly.

"You should know me by now Xena, I never give up, no matter how long it takes," said Ares smugly.

"Well, you've left it a bit late to claim me back, haven't you? Unless you can get to the Afterlife where we are now?" she taunted him.

"Hmm, I might just do that," Ares grinned and vanished.

Gabrielle was thinking about her time alive too; naturally, she'd miss her family and friends, but at least her life had been with purpose, she could look back on her life and think, "I achieved something". She realised her companion had said something and she gestured at him that she hadn't heard him.

"I was just wondering if everything was the same where you are now, like in the Elysian Fields," Joxer repeated.

Now she came to think of it, there really wasn't much difference between the Elysian Fields and where they were now, except that the current location where she and Xena were, wasn't very populated. In fact, what she'd seen of the place, there didn't seem very many at all.

Very similar she wrote.

"Like, um, you can hear the living's thoughts?" he said hesitantly, not sure in his own mind whether he wanted the answer or not, whichever way she answered was bound to bring him heartache.

Yes She looked at his troubled expression and hugged him tightly. He knew she was touching him, even though he couldn't feel her holding him.

What did this mean, he wondered. Was she hugging him out of pity or love? He tried to hold her too, clasping his hands around where her back would be, if he could feel her. He looked down at her face, then she looked up at him and the exchanged glances told the other what they needed to know.

For a brief moment, she was flesh and bone in his arms again, and he held her for what might be the last time ever for all he knew, his arms holding her close to him and his hands stroking her hair. He kissed her once gently on her cheek, then she became as she was before, a spirit with no body to hold.

"Goodbye my love," he whispered and he turned away, trying in vain to hold back the tears he felt at losing her. As he turned, he felt the steady presence of Xena beside him and she held her arms out to him.

"Good to see you both again one last time. Have a good afterlife," he said, grasping the arms with his hands, sensing where her arms were. He indicated to Gabrielle with a subtle switch of the head and an anxious look and Xena nodded in reply. He looked relieved, then spoke to them both again

"I'll be alright in time, I guess. I'll get through this somehow, maybe the Amazons can help me," he said bravely. Gabrielle nodded in agreement, indicating the group of Amazons from her adopted tribe emerging from the shelter, now that the rain had stopped.

"Farewell Xena, Goodbye Gabby," and he went up the hill to talk to the Amazons.

"So how long has he loved me Xena?" Gabrielle asked her best friend.

"For longer than I can remember," Xena replied. She looked at the bard with faint amusement. "Honestly Gabrielle, I think you were the only one who never noticed how he felt about you. To everyone else, it was obvious, but to you..." and she threw her arms up in mock despair.

"So when did you first notice these feelings he had for me?" Gabrielle said at last, after a pause.

Xena reflected for a minute, looking back on the adventures the three of them had shared. "The first time I suspected was when Callisto escaped from Maramis and captured you. He told me then he'd do anything for you, including laying his life down for you, and I don't think that's ever changed for him."

They held each other closely as they watched their friend talk to the Amazons, the rest of the throng oblivious to their presence.

"It seems funny saying it now, but I'm going to miss him a lot," Gabrielle said sadly. "He could be really annoying at times, but he always did things with the best of intentions. Of course he had many faults, but his good qualities far outweighed his bad ones."

"So what is it you're going to miss about him Gabrielle?" Xena asked her curiously.

The bard thought carefully for a minute, concentrating on the good things about Joxer's character that she liked most. "He was generous with whatever he had to share; even though he knew he wasn't a great fighter, he'd still try to fight bandits, robbers and warlords, no matter the odds; his heart was true; he was caring and gentle and he'd always help out a friend or anyone in distress."

"What's Joxer going to do now?" Gabrielle wondered out loud.

"That depends on him," Xena said evenly. "If he stays with the Amazons, they may teach him some fighting skills. He could become a lutist, a farmer - all he needs is someone to believe in him and he could do it."

"Ameriece?" Gabrielle suggested, having mentally ticked off everyone else the three of them had known.

Xena shrugged. "Maybe. If they could stand each other's company for long enough, they could be good for each other - He could smooth off some of her rough edges and she could be his ambition and driving force."

They heard the sound of squawking above their heads and they both looked up, the flocks of birds high in the sky, flying south.

"Gabrielle, what's the matter? You look distracted," said Xena, seeing the distant look in her friend's eyes.

Gabrielle sighed deeply and looked into the Warrior's eyes. "I watch the birds fly south across the autumn sky and one by one they disappear. Why did I only love him when it was too late, Xena? Why did I push him away when he was always there for me?"

"Gabrielle, I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that he loved you totally, and to know you loved him back was the one thing that could have made him happy," Xena said comfortingly, and she pointed to her heart. "You'll always be together here."

Gabrielle nodded in agreement and looked wistfully at his departing form over the hill. "I just wish I could have told him how I felt about him."

Xena held her friend close to her as they returned to their secluded existence with the rest of the Soul Spirits. "There was no need to tell him Gabrielle - he already knew."

Joxer took one last look at where Xena and Gabrielle had been, but there was no sign of them. "Like the sun through the trees you came to love me, like a leaf on a tree you blew away; my life will be forever autumn, 'cos you're not here," he murmured to himself. "But we won't be apart, we'll just not be together."

Note:
This story was inspired by the Justin Hayward song, "Forever Autumn".

Please take the time to write to Jerry at studmuffin_jer@yahoo.com, and let him know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "Forever Autumn" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999 by Jerry Hendy and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.