Filk: "Joxer's Lament"

Filk: Joxer's Lament
(To the tune of "I Will Survive")
Music and original lyrics © 1979 by Gloria Gaynor.

At first I was alone
I was Joxer the Mighty
I wore a daft helmet and armour so loud and unsightly
Xena and Gabrielle
Didn't treat me very well
I tripped over every rock
My swordmanship everyone did mock
Until the ring of that bell
From Aphrodite's spell
When I was transformed from a geek
Into a hero very sleek
Then Bliss' arrows struck the Bard
She fell in love with me quite hard
But as soon as the spell was on the wane
She treated me with disdane

Oh Gabrielle
I'm in Tartarus
Everytime you talk of how you miss your Perdicas
Though you treat me like chaff
And clobber me with your staff
I'll still follow you behind
Still you treat me so unkind
I'm still here
I'll not shed a tear
For the love for you that I feel
I shall never reveal
The only time there's no friction
Is on the Webpages of FanFiction
I'll stumble on
I'll carry on

All my emotions I learnt to quell
Especially after seeing those visions of Gabrielle
But then you jumped into the pit with Hope
Without you I couldn't cope
I was glum
And so was my Warrior Princess chum
But now you're back
To give me strife
Even though for you I'd surrender my very life
But perhaps I was wrong
As we march together singing my song
Maybe it's not the end
You'll be more than just a friend