Rated: PG
Subtext: Um, nope. Joxer and Gabrielle are already a couple.
Continuity: Figure a couple years after the end of the show...which of course was Kindred Spirits. The Twilight has already happened. No real spoilers- slight mentions of KOA and Quill.
Teaser: Joxer returns home for a funeral, and has a conversation with his father.
Thanks to Melanie, for these wonderful lyrics!

It was, Joxer thought, nice enough - as funerals went.

The final words were spoken; some vague prayer to Hades that held no meaning to the young man. Then he watched as his father's lieutenant walked over with the torch, and set the twin pyres aflame. And after a few moments, it was over.

A late-afternoon breeze brought a chill to Joxer, which Gabrielle noticed, and she let her thumb graze soothingly across their enclosed hands. It wasn't enough, she knew, but she didn't feel comfortable with any other overt form of consolation for her grieving lover. Looking around, she just didn't feel it would be...'right'...in this place.

She sighed, taking the scene in again, trying to digest the perverse majesty of the place her Joxer had grown up. The massive stone structure was part home, part castle, part fortress. A low wall ran around the courtyards surrounding the main one story structure- and Gabrielle could tell the purpose of the beautiful stretches of lawn had more to do with the desire to efficiently kill human beings attacking from outside than anything else. With the sunset now past, the giant pyres cast foreboding shadows on the dank gray stone of the main building, giving the whole scene an air of ghostliness. No, Gabrielle knew instantly she hated this place, and these people. She had no idea how the lanky, caring person she clung to in so many times of need could even come from a place like this.

Joxer wiped away a tear before it could betray him - his father would never approve of it, he knew. He turned his head, watching as the line now formed in front of the impressive looking man. Athens' elite, in business and politics, in their finest robes and jewelry, come to give their proper condolences to the man that they owed their positions and wealth to. The same people he had bought to get himself and Jett out of prison. This is the way things like this were done, after all. Joxer had seen it most of his life.

Then, as these things were done, some of them, mostly old acquaintances who had known Joxer since he was a little boy, would take a few steps off to the side, to pay respect to the Son. And they would look with respectful faces and say the usual things people said in times like this: "I'm so sorry"; "It's a shame when these things happen"; "She was a good wife, and he a good son"; "People didn't have the proper respect anymore." The kinds of things these kinds of people said when one's Mother and Brother were killed by a rival warlord during the simple act of shopping in town. And he would nod, and Gabrielle would nod, and they would get in their coaches and ride off, and the next would step up, and start the same farcical profundity all over again.

Joxer never really heard them. He simply watched as his Mother and Jett's ashes rose into the air. And finally, the lines grew smaller; until all that was left was his fathers aides - who gave their own consolation on behalf of their crews, as these things were usually done. And when the last was finished, Joxer watched his father turn dramatically, the jewels in his cape flashing brighter than stars in the glare of the pyres, and walk inside the great wood doors of the main entrance, the men following. Only his chief lieutenant, Tiris, had not joined them, and was now walking up to Joxer and Gabrielle.

"Joxer, your Father told me to take you to him."

Joxer nodded, mumbled "Okay," even though he had no real idea what on earth his father would want, and grabbing Gabrielle's hand a little firmer for support, followed the tall man into the house.

"He's in his study." Tiris said without looking back, leading Joxer deeper into the darkness. Joxer was barely able to see, the exquisite lamps and candleholders his mother usually had lit not in use. So dark that Joxer barely ducked one lower buttress, before he rammed into another.

Gabrielle winced as she heard the dull 'thud', but was surprised when there was no Joxer-esque "Ow!" She wouldn't have understood - he couldn't do that here.

Although she herself almost felt muted by the huge house - castle - whatever. Gabrielle was - awed wasn't the right word, but it was the closest - at the darkness and gloom of the place as they were led deeper into its bowels. The shadows and tight hallways seemed to engulf them, and she had to hold on to Joxer since she couldn't even see their escort anymore. Finally they came to a wooden door, visible by the two torches hanging on either side of it, with two large men standing outside, keeping watch.

Joxer stopped and turned toward Gabrielle, the shadows of the torches making his face appear contorted. He looked down at his Gabrielle, and said in a hushed voice infused with concern, "You better wait here."

Gabrielle shook her head in a exaggerated fashion, to be sure her awkward warrior would see it. "No, " she affirmed. "I want to be in there with you."

Joxer's voice rose as it did when he got frustrated. "No, Gab - you don't get it - he won't like it, like I'm disrespecting him or something." He put his hands on her shoulders to show how serious he was. "It's the way these things are done."

Gabrielle saw the sincerity in the intense deep brown eyes and finally, shrugged her acquiescence. Not knowing what else to say, she brought his hand to her mouth, and kissed it softly, just before he pulled away and went into the room. She tried to look as best she could through the open door, but the shadows hid too much to make out anything. Finally, she sighed and took a place against the sidewall, her arms crossed in front of her, the only company the two giant (and she imagined, equally as dense) goons who never even acknowledged her existence.

Joxer fiddled nervously with his helmet as he entered the familiar room- his father's study. It was more like a museum, Joxer thought, as he spied the trophies his father had acquired on various campaigns. Joxer could remember some of them, long trips Father had taken, Jett in tow, as he went out to conquer lands to the North; and of course the 'gifts' offered as tribute for his generous 'protection' of various villages outside the protective confines of Athens.

Joxer noticed he wasn't alone in the room; his father was at his desk in the center of the far end of the room, and there were five men gathered around him, all trying to work in the torchlight. He couldn't see exactly what they were doing, but he didn't have to- he saw enough. The other men were all fondling bags in their hands, as his father pointed out something or other from a scroll. A map, Joxer guessed. These were the assassins. The payback.

"Alright? That's all I have. Now get to it." Joxer recognized that tone. The meeting was over.

The men filed out, but Joxer still stayed motionless in the center, not knowing what he should do next. His father filed away some scrolls in the desk, and finally sat a moment, and what for any other man would have sounded like a sigh escaped him, but he wasn't any other man, and therefore Joxer figured it was a grunt. His father liked to grunt.

Finally, he stood up, and took notice of his near-trembling son. "Hello, Son." He gestured with his hand, "Come over here."

Joxer gulped without thinking and after a moment's hesitation, moved closer. He never considered that the intimidating man in front of him was really no taller than himself, maybe even slightly shorter, and not even much heavier. He still seemed the giant he was when Joxer was a boy; the awe-inspiring vision of raw power and control. Someone Joxer wished a thousand times a day since he could remember wanting to be more like.

His father looked over Joxer as he came into the view of the torchlight, and seemed to regard him for a second, as Joxer continued to fiddle with his helmet. After a non-committal grunt, he turned away from his son and said, "It was a decent funeral."

"Uh, I suppose so."

His father gazed out the small window. "Everyone was here."

'Everyone' meant 'Everyone not Jace', and Joxer knew better than to approach the subject. All he wanted was to get out of that room as soon as possible. "It was nice that Uncle Toronus was here...uh, can I go now?", he added quickly.

"I haven't seen you in a while." Either his father didn't hear him, or was deliberately ignoring him - something that Joxer had over the years a increasing difficultly in determining. Either way, Joxer realized he wasn't going to be leaving for a while, which made him all the more nervous. His father turned toward him, and said, "It would be nice to see you more often."

Now Joxer's brain spun in several circles trying to remember the last time... or any time those words had been spoken by his father to him. "It...would?" It was so strange a thing to hear, Joxer didn't even try to hide the amazement in his voice. Something else his father ignored.

"Yes, I mean- of course." The imposing man cleared his voice after thequick save. He needed to stay in control, a skill that had made him the powerful man he was. And something else Joxer was well-acquainted with- being under the control of the intense, imposing dark eyes. "With your Mother and Brother gone, I would like you to be closer to the house more often, so we can see each other. I've heard how much you've grown as a warrior."

Now Joxer's brain was quickly becoming overloaded. Him, closer to...his Father? He couldn't decide whether to be thrilled at the idea of his father warming up to him after all these years, or concerned because it had never happened before. He didn't have time to try to disguise the giddy feeling that accompanied the thought of it all. "I ...er, would like that, Father."

His father quickly covered up the smile at Joxer's eagerness. It was going better than he could have imagined, and like a good warrior, he pressed his advantage. "In fact, I was thinking that you could live..."

"Here?" Joxer's amazement continued. Everything he had ever dreamed of, coming so soon after getting over the initial grief for his mother and brother, and it was almost overwhelming the sensitive man.

"I was thinking more like- your own house, on the other side of Athens." His father continued quickly, lest he burst the bubble a little too much. "I have come into some land, and have decided to build a house for your own."

"My own house?" Joxer started breathing heavily.

"Yes, a house for you...and Gabrielle." The emphasis placed at the end of the sentence was not a afterthought.

"Wow. And for Xena?"

His father quickly swallowed the scowl that flashed on the long, weathered face. "Of course, and Xena."

Joxer's eyes doubled in size as he tried to consider all the consequences of what his father was offering. A house, for himself and Gabrielle. And Xena- and even though the whole twilight mess had taken care of the threat against Eve, it was still obvious how worried Xena was. She had so many enemies, how could Eve ever be truly safe without- some kind of permanent place, a real home? Many different - yet all wonderful - visions flashed before him, but one kept coming back to him, blotting them out. He shook his head, and said, "It's a very nice offer Father, but really, I don't think Xena or Gabrielle are ready to..."

"Settle down?" The coy man finished the sentence before Joxer could, and dismissively shook his head. "I completely understand- that's why you could just use it to visit," and in a dramatic pause, the older man captured his son's dark eyes with his own in a appeal to sincerity, "so we can see each other more often. Just think of it as...your future home, after you are ready to settle permanently."

Joxer felt his own knees go weak. It was almost perfect. Almost. There was still one big problem- it was his father's money. Would Xena and Gabrielle ever accept something built with a warlord's money? But then again, he thought, maybe his father had changed- this was certainly unlike him. Sure, it could just be because of the grief, but what if it wasn't? They would understand that, wouldn't they? Gabrielle, of all people - she would understand. If they were closer, he could get to really know this new, improved version of Father; try to help him change into to a more loving man. Joxer's face contorted into his 'deep thinking' position, as he tried to follow all the angles- and although everything seemed perfect, there was just...something niggling him. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

His father didn't intend to let Joxer think about it too much. "I think we've - I've - wasted enough time, Joxer. All that time in prison, and then when your Brother was sent those years ago... I just realized how much I have missed. And, I want to know you better, Son." After letting that sink in, he continued. "And I can't think of a better way to start." A uncharacteristic smile flashed on the older man's face as he finished with what for him was unbridled enthusiasm. "And then, in the near future, I want to give you and Gabrielle a wedding appropriate for two warriors."

Joxer looked up suddenly at that. "Father- Gabrielle and I aren't getting..."

"Yes, I know," the nod that followed was almost sage-like, "but I'm sure you will in time. I see the way you two look at each other. I hear you two have been through many tough scrapes together, and two warriors will attract each other. A Father knows these things."

Joxer, without really knowing why, started blushing fiercely.

Ah! His Father's warrior instincts kicked in, seeing the young man's reaction. It was time to go for the kill. "And I can't think of anything better for two noted warriors than a full public wedding. We can get one of the local priests of Aphrodite...you know they could use the work. And of course, we'll invite the Senate, and the business leaders, and I know some very high-up Hoplite commanders...." He didn't mention how those acquaintances had cost him a pretty dinar every other moon, but that was how those things were done.

"Pu...public?" Joxer's mind suddenly found what it had been missing, and his heart fell at the discovery.

"Well of course!" His father's eyes flashed in the torchlight. "A wedding fit for my Son, a true warrior- needs a ceremony worthy of public spectacle! Next year, during the summer...oh, I know, I know, but again- I know these things. Everyone will be there to see it..." suddenly he stopped as he caught full sight of his son's demeanor, something he was definitely not expecting, and was caught off-guard. "What's wrong?"

Joxer stood statue-still, head down and eyes closed. His mind was having a fight against itself- but the side he was rooting for lost every way he tried to figure it. And there it was, the real truth. "You want a public wedding, with me and Gabrielle?"

Now his Father, confused by the sudden change, was a little hesitant in his performance. "Well, of course. If Athens is going to learn who my Son is, what better way? And with the Great Warrior-Bard Gabrielle as your wife, I can't think of a better way for the people to meet my family."

"You mean your new family?"

"What on earth are you jabbering about, boy?" And in the snarl was the tone Joxer knew- his real father.

Joxer's shoulders felt heavy as he finally tried to regain his posture. "You want everyone to see us, with you." He tried to look directly at the older man's eyes, but his confidence fell short. "You got Mom and Jett killed- and now you're trying to do the same to Gabrielle." The truth in his spoken words drove the point home to the awkward man, and all the hopes and dreams of a much different future - that he had nurtured since he saw a different man than he had known - crashed before him.

"NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE!" The older man, not used to being seen through, bellowed with great force, so loud and intense that it snapped the guards standing outside the room out of their half-conscious bored state, and Gabrielle jumped at the harsh boom that followed the voice. She grew worried, and edged closer to the door, trying not to raise the attention of the guards. At least she was in a position to hear now, and if things got out of hand, she could get in the room before the guards could. And as loud as Joxer's father was shouting, it wasn't exactly hard to make out what was being said.

"Just who do you think you are, talking to me like that!" The experienced old warrior continued, but it wasn't having the normal affect it had all those years. Joxer just stood there, suddenly too weary, too deflated to be scared of the intense, furious man in front of him. "Joxer, I bring you here, and offer this to you, and you dare speak to me like that?!" He pulled out all the stops- barring his teeth, scowling, staring down the younger man.

But it didn't work- it was all over. Joxer didn't care anymore, and he wasn't at all scared by the normally frightening tirade. And it positively threw the older, carefully calculating man for a loop. Suddenly, it wasn't working like it did all those years when Joxer was a boy, and it caused the older man's voice to loose some of it's steam. "Son, what's wrong? I don't understand- this is what you want, right?"

Joxer cringed slightly at the honesty of the statement. "I...did, but not now. I don't want to be a warlord's son. Or, if it should happen, have Gabrielle become a warlord's son's wife, or something."

Losing control of the situation was not something the old warrior was used to, and it showed in the slightly Joxer-like pitch as frustration crept into his voice. "But...it would be perfect, Joxer. Don't you see? Things are different now. I don't have to bow down before Ares or Hades or any other god- we're the ones left to rule! Ah- but the people still need order Joxer, someone to give their lives structure, but without the constant hassling and worshipping those immortal idiots used to demand. Don't you see Joxer, the world is left to us now!"

Joxer's face slid to the floor. He finished the statement his father started...it was left to anyone who kept everyone else from taking it. That was what this was all about - his father needed some way to keep the family name strong in the minds of the public. Now Jett, the heir apparent was gone, and Mom was too- so there would be no more sons - and Jace was...Jace. Joxer was all that was left to help keep his Father's power intact. He shook his head sadly. "I'd rather leave the world to people like Xena and Gabrielle."

"Oh don't give me that," the man scoffed distastefully, "like they could give the people what they need? I'm telling you Joxer- the people need people like me, I make their lives easier."

"For a price." Joxer closed his eyes, the entirety of it all making him very tired. And now he wanted to go, and turned toward the door.

Now that really made Joxer's father furious. "JOXER!" But again, the yelling had no affect, other than to make Joxer feel even wearier. "What are you doing? You're leaving? ME?!" The warrior's sarcasm-tinged words were aimed directly for where they would do the most damage - the young man's heart. "What, do you think I don't hear about these ridiculous adventures you have? Where your own woman has to save you most of the time? Do you really think you'll gain your own self-respect following your whore around like some lost dog?" The final words were dripped with sincere frustration and irritation as he finished, almost out of breath. "Have I not taught you anything about being a man?"

This finally hit home, and Joxer turned. "DON'T YOU DARE CALL...." But then, suddenly, Joxer turned away, lost in thought for a moment, and the fury left his body completely. Instead, he looked up at the Great Warrior and said, with an almost incredulous tone, "That's it?"

"That's what?"

Joxer was thinking now, trying to piece it together. And then his hands started flying, still holding the strange helmet, in that frustrated way they did when he was trying to think through something. "I mean...I've waited all this time, all these years. And I watched Jett idolize you, so I figured I was missing something. So I figured, it was just- I wasn't good enough. That if I could fight better, or was stronger, or could handle a sword, or something, that I could get some of it...but now I get it...."

Now the older man was so confused the fury was gone from his tone, replaced with total confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean- this is it. I've waited all my life for you to accept me as your Son, so you could give me that - Father thing, I guess - but now I see- this is it." Joxer shook his head in wonderment. "I can't believe I spent all these years trying to prove to you...for this. For some advice for being a better warlord and some lame talk about self-respect." Joxer shook his head at his discovery. "I'm going now."

"Joxer, wait!" He didn't know what it was about the tone that made him stop- the almost pleading he could hear in the voice. He turned, and his father looked at him with a pained expression- or rather, what he thought was a pained expression. He had never seen his father show pain- even when he came home with Jett with grotesque looking wounds. "Joxer, I...I loved them. I loved her, so much. Please- don't leave me. You're all I have left now. What about your family?" This seemed to take the strength from the man, and he went suddenly, uncharacteristically quiet after the desperate outburst.

Joxer never felt this way around his father before. Here was the man whom he had aspired to be like, wanted what he had, and now- he just didn't care. And now when Joxer saw the pain on his face, he could tell- it wasn't faked. If it was one thing Joxer knew, it was pain. This was real. And he just didn't care anymore. The feeling left was cold and unpleasant as he regarded the battered older man before him, no longer the great warrior from his childhood. This, he decided right then and there, was someone to be held in disdain, or better yet - disinterest. And he didn't even care if the man before him understood that or not. It was a past life now, something to be learned from, and forgotten.

All that was left was to end it completely. He didn't even recognize the hard, emotionless voice that held the few words he was willing to expend on the man before him, and shook his head in a dismissive way. "I don't have time to justify to you. Cause...you're all dead to me now." And without any further explanation, Joxer walked to the desk, removed his sword from it's scabbard - the one thing his father had ever given him, the one Gabrielle had forced the merchant to give back - and placed the once-prized possession on the desk. He knew he had no need for it anymore. And he walked from the room, not even bothering to look at the stunned older warrior.

Gabrielle was still holding her breath after hearing the exchange as Joxer came out, and walked over to her, holding out his hand. She nodded in the dim light, took it in her own, and let him begin to lead her out of this place.

After a few missed turns they finally found the giant door, and Joxer and Gabrielle stepped out into the vast courtyard as the funeral pyres were still burning. Joxer thought about leaving, but then lead himself and Gabrielle over to them, and stood there, silently, listening to the pop and crack of the wood as the flame consumed it. He felt the fire's heat against his face, and disconnected thoughts, images, flashed through his head- memories; some pleasant, most not.

"I'll miss them."

The blonde warrior's face showed the pain she felt for her friend and lover. "I know. I'm sorry Joxer." She wrapped her arms around him and leaned against him, offering all the support she could give at that moment. She knew it wasn't enough.

After a while, Joxer broke the silence. "Um, we should go."

Gabrielle released her hold on her awkward Joxer, and stretched. "I agree with that. It's been a long day."

"Yeah."

They started to walk toward the main gate, hand in hand, when Gabrielle looked at Joxer, concern on her face. "I heard what happened in there. It sorta...scared me. I've never seen you like that- cold. It was like it wasn't even you." She stopped, forcing Joxer to do the same.

He looked into the deep emerald eyes. "Me neither." The sincerity shown through his down dark brown. "I mean- I never felt that way before. It was pretty weird."

Gabrielle nodded her understanding- she knew he needed that right now. But there was still more than a bit of real concern in her voice when she added, "If you ever do that in front of me or Xena- I'll have to kick your ass."

"I'm counting on it." Then there was a Joxer-smile, and Gabrielle felt a little more at ease. And just then, a big CLANK rang through the air as Joxer's sword fell from his belt to the ground, making her jump in fright.

Joxer stooped down to pick it up, and tried to find a way to secure it- without real success. Grunting in frustration, he looked to the warrior-bard. "Uh, Gab - can we get me a new scabbard?"

Gabrielle smiled back. "Of course we can." They walked a little easier toward the gate, the blonde's eyes narrowed in thought. "You know," she added, "if you wanted to really change symbolically, you might consider getting new armor..."

"Nice try." Joxer replied with a smirk. Finally, they reached the gate in the giant wall, and Joxer turned back to look once more.

Gabrielle spied a well near the wall. "Oh, I need a drink...just a minute, Joxer."

But Joxer's grip held firm as he shook his head. "There's blood in the water. Let's go into town."

And Gabrielle nodded in understanding, as he turned and walked away.

Please take the time to write to Findle at findle@neo.rr.com, and let him know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Joxer, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "Don't Drink the Water" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2002 by Findle and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.