Copyright 1999
Xena:
Everybody ought to have a bard
Joxer:
Everybody ought to have a bard
Xena:
Everbody ought to have a writing girl
Everybody ought to have a fighting girl
To walk along beside!
Everybody ought to have a bard
Joxer:
Everybody ought to have a bard
Xena:
Everybody ought to have a confidante
Who's down to earth, no debutante
Who never asks to ride!
Oh, oh,
Wouldn't she be a jewel
Never cold and cruel
Sharp as a pin?
Oh, oh,
Wouldn't she be a treasure
Helping out, sleeping in?
Everybody ought to have a bard!
Joxer:
Everybody ought to have a bard
Xena:
Someone you can talk to when you're in a rut
Who gives advice and stories but
She never gets rude or snide!
Chattering in a tavern
Battering all the bad guys
Pattering down the agora
Mattering in the battles
Flattering by your side!
Everybody ought to have a bard
Joxer:
Everybody ought to have a bard
Xena:
Someone who when fetching you your frying pan
Will always send it flying and
A chakram on the side!
Thwacking with her fighting staff
Cracking all the good jokes
Snacking on the nutbread
Packing up the saddlebags
Both:
Tracking by your side!
Everybody ought to have a bard
Everybody ought to have a girl like her
With many skills, and as it were
To travel far and wide!
Joxer:
Oh, oh,
Think of her in the morning
Especially when she's snoring, isn't she sweet?
Oh, oh,
Isn't she a goddess
Xena:
Nice soft hair
Joxer:
And cute feet!
Both:
Everybody ought to have a bard
Always picking up another scroll and quill
And when she writes her stories will
Never want to hide!
Swinging in the forest
Singing in the shower
Flinging all the fishes
Clinging in her little top
Bringing all the scrolls
With pride!