by Dharma Bum
Copyright 2000
DOGS IN CLOVER
"Don't Quit Your Day Job"
Show #5
TEASER
ANGLE ON KITCHEN AREA
where XENA is cooing over EVE, who is sitting in a highchair.
JOXER, who has apparently been talked out of wearing his
armor but unfortunately not into changing into a decent shirt,
is mixing something in a small bowl, which he hands to Xena.
Xena stirs it a couple of times with a SPOON and then offers
the spoon to Eve.
XENA
Look, Evie. Strained beets.
Eve frowns and bats the spoon away.
XENA (CONT'D)
Mmm, nummy. Look, I'm going to have
some.
She mimes taking a small taste, then offers the spoon back
to Eve. THUNDER rumbles outside, although the lattice-work
porch door is open and we can see it is a bright, sunny day.
XENA (CONT'D)
Eat your beets, sweetie.
Eve scowls ferociously. There is a THUNDERCLAP and a bright
flash from outside.
XENA (CONT'D)
(without looking up)
Thunderbolt?
Joxer peers out the porch door.
JOXER
Cyane's hut, looks like.
XENA
Is it on fire again?
JOXER
Nah. I think it's still too wet from
when they put the last one out.
XENA
Good. Here, Evie, nummy nummy
beetsies.
Eve waves her hand impatiently, and the bowl of beets flies
across the room and into the kitchen fire.
JOXER
You know, Xena, I don't think she
likes beets.
Xena puts the spoon down and lifts Eve out of the highchair,
clucking.
XENA
She'll learn. I didn't like beets
when I was her age either, and look
how I turned out.
There is no answer to this for a moment.
JOXER
I'm not saying anything.
XENA
Good boy.
(to Eve)
Ooh, you're so cranky lately. You're
getting almost as bad as Auntie
Gabrielle.
JOXER
(loyally)
Gabrielle's not cranky. She's just
under a lot of pressure, is all.
XENA
Oh. Is that what they call it
nowadays?
JOXER
She has a very high-powered job. You
have to make allowances. She's just
a little tense.
ANGLE ON OUTSIDE DOOR
It slams open, and GABRIELLE stomps into the room.
GABRIELLE
I hate everybody.
She stomps over to the couch and flings herself down on it.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
I hope the entire Council gets fleas
in their beds. Joxer! Bring me some
wine. There had better NOT be any
beets with dinner tonight, or I'm
gonna impale somebody.
XENA
(to Joxer)
You think?
FADE OUT:
ACT ONE
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- AFTERNOON
It is the next day. The Queen's Hut looks much the same as
it has up until now, except that there are several DOILIES
visible in the room -- on the back of the couch, on the backs
of the chairs, on the living-room table underneath the Chronos
Stone. Xena is sitting on the couch holding Eve, who is
reaching with great interest for the Stone, but Xena keeps
pulling her back before she can touch it. Joxer enters through
the porch door, carrying a large BASKET of laundry.
JOXER
There we go. Nice clean blankets for
Evie. I got all the beet stains out.
It took like hours.
Xena is uninterested.
JOXER (CONT'D)
I found out that if you scrub them
with the rushes first and pound them
on the rocks after, it works better
than pounding them on the rocks first
and scrubbing them with the rushes
after.
He walks into the nursery with the basket, still talking.
JOXER (CONT'D)
And then you should sort out the
whites from the colors before the
second rinse, not the first, after
the scrubbing but before the
pounding...
His voice fades as the heavy curtain across the nursery door
falls shut behind him. A few moments pass before he comes
out.
JOXER (CONT'D)
(continuous)
...and then you don't have to do
either the scrubbing or the pounding
before the wringing and the folding.
Xena looks at him.
XENA
Joxer.
JOXER
Hmn?
XENA
Say something.
JOXER
If you put salt into the dirty cooking-
pots before adding the water they
clean up much easier.
XENA
You need to get out more.
Joxer carries the laundry basket over into the kitchen area
and sets it down.
XENA (CONT'D)
Check to make sure there's something
in the wine-cupboard for Gabrielle
to drink when she gets home. It keeps
her quiet.
JOXER
(opening cupboard)
All set. Did you see I mended the
rug there by the entryway? Do you
think she'll like it?
XENA
Frankly, I don't think she'll notice.
Joxer puts his hands on his hips and gazes around the room.
JOXER
It could use a coat of paint in here.
What do you think? Sky blue or taupe?
ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR
It opens, as loudly as it did yesterday, and Gabrielle stands
in the entranceway. She glowers.
GABRIELLE
So this FAT WOMAN comes waddling up
to me in Council today.
She walks into the room, heading for the couch. Xena picks
up Eve and moves well over to the far end.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
And she starts carrying on about how
they're not getting enough help with
the Agricultural Cooperative, and
how they have three fields lying
fallow. So I say, "Why are you telling
me about it? Why don't you just go
back down there and let them hook
you to the plow and..."
She throws herself down on the couch and puts her feet on
the table. There is a pause.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Where's my wine?
Xena waves at Joxer to get the wine out of the wine-cupboard
in a fashion that would be called "frantic" if it wasn't
Xena doing it.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
I expect to have my wine waiting for
me when I get home.
Joxer goes fumbling through the cupboard and comes up with a
filled skin. He trots quickly over to the couch and hands it
to Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
So then she has the nerve to get
upset. Actually, I don't even know
if she works for the Agricultural
Cooperative, or if she's just one of
the dairy herd...
She uncorks the skin and takes a drink without looking at
it.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
(without any faces,
double-takes, or
turning around)
What is this?
JOXER
It's nonalcoholic sangria.
Xena makes a threatening gesture at him, miming disgust.
Gabrielle doesn't look around.
GABRIELLE
I want my wine.
JOXER
It's very healthy. It only takes
three hours to make if you don't
count the part about climbing the
orange trees.
GABRIELLE
I work my butt off fending off the
demands of these rabid hippopotami
so that you two can lie around the
house all day, and all I ask for it
is that I can come home, and sit on
my couch, and drink my wine.
Xena stands up, putting Eve on the couch.
XENA
I'll get it.
She walks into the kitchen, pauses to smack Joxer upside the
head, opens the wine cupboard and starts to rummage around
in it. Eve reaches out, trying to crawl onto the table and
get the Chronos Stone.
GABRIELLE
And then tomorrow I've got to go to
some damn moonrise ritual and I'll
be there for hours. So I'm going to
try to take a nap in the afternoon
and I don't want anybody making any
racket like last time, JOXER.
Xena gives him a look.
JOXER
I was building a gazebo.
XENA
There won't be any noise. I'll see
to it.
JOXER
It gives the garden continuity.
Xena brings an amphora and a wine-cup to Gabrielle, who takes
only the amphora. She takes a swig from it, and turns her
attention to Eve. Eve can't quite reach the Stone, but it is
glowing brightly.
GABRIELLE
Leave that alone, pumpkin, you don't
know where it's been.
She puts the amphora on the table and picks Eve up.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
At least there's one person around
here who isn't trying to drive me
absolutely nuts.
XENA
(under breath)
Look who's talking.
GABRIELLE
What did you say?
XENA
I said...
(thinks better of it)
I said she may not be driving you
nuts, but she's driving me nuts. She
won't eat her strained beets.
GABRIELLE
That's because she's a smart little
girl.
Eve yawns.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Aww! Poor little baby's sleepy. Did
bad Mommy keep you from taking your
nap again?
She stands up.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Auntie Gabby knows how that is, people
keeping you from taking your nap.
Here, Auntie Gabby will put you to
bed 'cause she's not mean like bad
Mommy.
(gratuitous)
Or stupid like bad Uncle.
She takes Eve into the nursery and the curtain closes behind
her. Xena stares after her, aghast.
XENA
"Bad Mommy"? "Bad Mommy"?! "Auntie
Gabby's" not the one who takes care
of her all day. "Auntie Gabby's" not
the one who gets up at night to feed
her. "Auntie Gabby" hasn't touched a
diaper in two months.
JOXER
Would you like some sangria?
XENA
And "Auntie Gabby" gets to go to
work all day at least and gets to
see some adult human beings. Well,
Amazons. And "Auntie Gabby's" got
more to do with her life than spend
it trying to get a baby to eat
strained beets...failing to get a
baby to eat strained beets...
She looks around the room for something to hit. There is
only one thing available at the moment.
XENA (CONT'D)
Joxer, go...go do something. Something
quiet, please.
JOXER
Do you want dinner? I have dinner
ready.
XENA
No!
JOXER
What should I do with it then?
XENA
Oh, I don't know. Put salt in the
pots or something.
She stomps across the room and leaves through the much-abused
front door, slamming it behind her. Joxer SIGHS.
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- NIGHT
The next night.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
Joxer is in the kitchen, stirring a pot over the fire. There
is now a doily on practically every surface in the hut that
can hold one, and there is a granny-square AFGHAN over the
back of the couch. Gabrielle comes down the stairs carrying
a ritual headdress. Her steps slow as she reaches the bottom,
and she stops and stares around the room.
GABRIELLE
What the hell are all these round
things?
JOXER
Doilies.
GABRIELLE
Where did they come from?
JOXER
I made them.
GABRIELLE
Why?
Xena enters from the nursery, carrying Eve.
XENA
So, you're off to your ritual then?
GABRIELLE
Don't rub it in.
She walks across the room to the door.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
I expect all these, these things to
be out of here by the time I come
back.
She puts the headdress on, shoving the feathers away from
her face, and leaves.
XENA
(coldly)
Good night to you, too.
She looks around the room.
XENA (CONT'D)
Joxer, what are all these round
things?
JOXER
Doilies.
XENA
Where did they come from?
JOXER
I made them.
XENA
Why?
JOXER
Well, I think they give the place a
rather homey touch.
Xena looks at the closest set of doilies and visibly shudders.
She puts Eve down on the couch.
XENA
Joxer, I've got an idea. I think it
would do us both a world of good if
we could get out of the house tonight.
JOXER
Oh...I can't. I'm busy.
XENA
Doing what?
JOXER
Well, I'm knitting these booties for
Eve, and then I've got preserves to
make, and then I thought I'd build
an add-on to the stable, and then...
XENA
Joxer, just listen to yourself for a
minute.
JOXER
What?
XENA
Listen to the way you're thinking.
There is a long empty pause.
XENA (CONT'D)
Okay, okay, that won't work.
She puts an arm around his shoulder, which visibly alarms
him, and guides him into the center of the room.
JOXER
But, Xena, Gabrielle said...
XENA
(mimicking)
"Gabrielle said". Listen to yourself.
You're whipped.
JOXER
I am not.
XENA
You are so. Taking orders from a
woman, letting her push you around,
waiting on her hand and foot...who
taught you that?
JOXER
(confused)
You did.
XENA
Listen. There's a village not two
leagues from here. We can ride down
there, have a decent night out in
the tavern, and still be back in
plenty of time before that ritual is
over.
JOXER
But...
XENA
No buts. Amarice can watch Eve. Come
on, it'll be fun. We'll just take a
little break and then tomorrow
everything will be back to normal.
Joxer considers this for a moment.
JOXER
Can I bring my knitting?
Xena puts a hand on his back and shoves him towards the door.
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- NIGHT
Several hours later.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
ANGLE ON DOOR
Gabrielle enters. She looks exhausted. Even her feathers are
drooping. She steps into the room, then stops.
ANGLE ON ROOM
AMARICE is on the couch, talking into the Chronos Stone,
which is glowing.
AMARICE
So she's like, we're gonna go to the
temple. And I'm like, no way. And
she's like, way. And then she's like,
well, if we sneak around back...
(catches sight of
Gabrielle)
Oh! Hi, Gabrielle!
(to the Stone)
Hey, I gotta go. Boss is back. Talk
to you later.
The Chronos Stone goes dark. Amarice twists around on the
couch to face Gab.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
How was the ritual?
GABRIELLE
Fine. Fine...Amarice, what are you
doing here? Where's Xena?
AMARICE
Oh, she went out. I'm watching Eve.
I fed her and I put her to bed. She
wasn't any trouble at all.
Gabrielle proceeds into the center of the room, looking
around. She stops and puts her hands on her hips.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
Except for the part with the strained
beets, but I got most of it off the
ceiling, I think.
ANGLE ON DOOR
It opens to reveal Xena. She looks somewhat disheveled, and
she is carrying a BOOT under one arm. She starts to creep
into the hut with exaggerated caution, then catches sight of
Gab and freezes in the doorway.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
Oh, here's Xena now. Hi, Xena.
Xena and Gabrielle stare at each other. Xena looks somewhat
like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
(apparently oblivious)
I'm gonna go then. It's late and
I've got spear practice tomorrow.
Xena, Eve's asleep, she's all set.
XENA
(not moving, not taking
her eyes off Gab)
That's good.
AMARICE
See you later, guys. Night.
XENA
(without looking at
her)
Night.
GABRIELLE
(ditto)
Night.
Amarice leaves through the porch door, so perhaps she is not
oblivious after all. Gabrielle and Xena continue to stare.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Where have you been?
XENA
Uh...out.
GABRIELLE
Out where?
XENA
So. How was the ritual?
GABRIELLE
Don't try to change the subject.
Where have you been?
(realizes it for the
first time)
And where's Joxer?
Xena looks very guilty at this.
XENA
Uh, he's...around.
She steps into the room, and we realize it is Joxer's boot
she is carrying. We realize this because we can now see that
the rest of Joxer is attached to it. Xena drags him into the
room behind her. He is passed out, SNORING, and looks quite
happy. Gabrielle stares, aghast.
GABRIELLE
What did you do to him?
XENA
Nothing! He's just asleep.
Gabrielle takes a step closer, gets a whiff, and steps back
again.
GABRIELLE
You're drunk.
XENA
We just had a couple little drinkies.
GABRIELLE
Where did you get a "couple little
drinkies"?
XENA
In that village that's a couple of
leagues or so
(points vaguely with
her free hand)
thataway.
GABRIELLE
You went to the village? You were
riding drunk?
XENA
(insulted)
Only on the way back.
GABRIELLE
You left Eve here alone, you're out
drinking and carrying on, you come
home here at some godsawful hour
drunk...
XENA
(deep breath)
I can explain.
GABRIELLE
(very upset)
I don't want to hear it, okay? I
don't want to talk about it. I'm
going upstairs and we will talk about
it in the morning when you've come
to your damn senses.
She starts for the stairs, stops, and looks back over her
shoulder.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
And get him off the floor, would
you?
She flounces upstairs. Xena SIGHS, turns around to look at
Joxer, who remains inert but smiling broadly, and SIGHS again.
FADE OUT:
ACT TWO
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- MORNING
The next morning.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
Joxer is lying curled up on the couch, wrapped in the afghan,
looking absolutely miserable. Gabrielle comes downstairs and
walks into the kitchen area, seating herself at the table.
Joxer wriggles out of the afghan, gets up, and staggers into
the kitchen. He puts a pot over the fire. Xena comes out of
the nursery with Eve. She and Gabrielle look at each other,
then Xena sits at the opposite side of the table and turns
away.
GABRIELLE
Good morning, Evie.
XENA
Yes, Evie, it is a nice morning,
isn't it? Rather quiet though.
GABRIELLE
I hope you slept all right, Eve,
considering all the racket some people
were making last night.
XENA
Eve's such a happy little girl in
the morning, isn't she? Not a grouch
like some people.
GABRIELLE
Eve's such a good little girl and
behaves herself, doesn't she? Not
like some people.
XENA
Eve's such a good little happy girl,
and she's not going to grow up to be
a bitch on wheels like SOME people.
GABRIELLE
Eve's very lucky that she has ONE
role model around who can show her
how to grow up and be a good happy
hardworking girl who appreciates
what everyone does for her, not like
SOME people.
JOXER
Does anyone want any porridge?
BOTH
NO!
Xena and Gab glare at each other.
XENA
Let me tell you, if you had face
every night with the prospect of
getting up and having to look at
yourself sulking across the kitchen
table the next morning, you'd drink
too.
GABRIELLE
Well, nobody says you have to look
at the person who happens to be the
only one putting food on that exact
same table.
XENA
That's right. Nobody does.
She stands up with Eve in her arms.
XENA (CONT'D)
Come on, Evie. Let's go outside and
find some place nicer than this to
spend the day.
She starts across the room.
XENA (CONT'D)
For starters, I hear there's a dungeon
in the next valley over.
She leaves. Gabrielle remains at the table, outraged and
furious. In the background, Joxer pours some of the heated
water into a scrub-bucket; then he reaches out and grabs two
or three of the nearest doilies in lieu of a sponge, falls
unsteadily to his hands and knees, and starts scrubbing the
floor. Gabrielle turns around and notices him doing this.
GABRIELLE
Joxer, what are you doing?
JOXER
I'm cleaning the strained beets off
the floor.
She watches him scrub at the stain for a minute or two.
GABRIELLE
You don't need to do that.
JOXER
The floor is all dirty.
GABRIELLE
It's a dirt floor.
He keeps scrubbing. She watches this for as long as she can
stand, which isn't very, until she explodes.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Joxer. Joxer, stop that.
She gets up and walks over to him. He throws the doilies
back into the scrub-bucket and sits back on his heels, looking
down at his hands.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
What is wrong with you? What?
JOXER
(doggedly)
I'm trying to clean the fl --
GABRIELLE
It's not bad enough I have her
throwing temper tantrums like a five-
year old, I have to put up with you
and your...
(waves around the
room, trying to take
it all in)
...your doilies, and your sangria,
and your inexplicable construction
projects...
He slumps miserably.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
I swear, I liked you better before,
you know that? When you were always
bragging and showing off and out of
my hair, instead of being under my
feet every time I turn around...
She turns and starts to walk away.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
...and always trying to buy me off
with bribes and favors...
He turns very suddenly and shouts after her.
JOXER
I'm NOT!
Gabrielle stops and turns around. Joxer seems startled at
what he just said, or the way he said it, but he looks
straight at her--subdued again, hangdog, but not turning
away.
JOXER (CONT'D)
I'm not. Not this time.
(MORE)
JOXER (CONT'D)
I'm just trying... You look so
miserable all the time, when you
come home from work and everything,
and I'm just trying to make you happy.
She takes a step or two towards him. He does look away now,
back at his hands.
JOXER (CONT'D)
I thought, y'know, if I made it all
pretty here when you come home it
would cheer you up. If everything
was all clean, and nice, and the
cooking was all done and everything...
GABRIELLE
Joxer...
JOXER
...and the beds were made, and the
laundry was folded...
GABRIELLE
Joxer.
JOXER
...and the roof was re-thatched, and
the horses were curried. I braided
Argo's tail, and I tried to put
flowers in Amber's mane, but he didn't
really like it and he tried to bite
me. You know, that horse does not
have a good temper. I...
GABRIELLE
Joxer!
When she's sure he's going to be quiet, she continues.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Come over here.
(gestures when he
looks reluctant)
Come on.
They walk to the couch and sit down, a little apart from
each other but not markedly so. Gabrielle picks up the
discarded afghan and smooths it in her lap.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
This is a nice afghan.
JOXER
Thanks.
Gabrielle SIGHS.
GABRIELLE
It seems like I spend all day
shouting. Every single thing the
Council does they have to argue and
they have to fight and they have to
throw things at each other. Literally.
It's like Amazons, they're not happy
unless they've got someone to pick
on.
JOXER
(without thinking)
Well, you must be a good Amazon then.
(catches himself)
I mean...
GABRIELLE
No. No, you're right. I guess I really
am not too happy by the time I come
home.
JOXER
But you should be happy here. This
isn't the Council.
GABRIELLE
I know.
JOXER
And I just want you to be happy.
GABRIELLE
(sincere)
I know.
JOXER
And then if you're happy Xena will
be happy, and then we all can be
happy. Happy as...as dogs in clover.
There is a beat.
GABRIELLE
As what?
JOXER
As dogs in clover. It's an expression.
GABRIELLE
I never heard it.
JOXER
Everybody's heard it.
GABRIELLE
It doesn't make any sense.
JOXER
Sure it does. Dogs...clover...happy.
GABRIELLE
Clover doesn't make dogs happy. That's
cows.
JOXER
Dogs make cows happy?
GABRIELLE
No, clover.
JOXER
That's what I said. Dogs in clover.
He makes an isn't-it-obvious? gesture and looks at Gab for
agreement. She stares back at him for a long minute.
GABRIELLE
I really worry about you sometimes.
She stares some more.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Anyway
(getting up)
I have to go to work. Whether I want
to or not. And believe me, a lot of
the time... I don't want to.
She puts the afghan carefully back on the couch.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
You know, as annoying as this whole
"spell" thing is...compared to dealing
with the Council, being married's
starting to look pretty good.
Joxer perks up at this.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
(calmly)
Joxer, don't even think about it.
He deflates.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
See you tonight, pal.
She pats him affectionately on the shoulder, and leaves. She
is smiling as she does so.
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- NIGHT
It is that evening.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR
Xena enters, carrying Eve in one arm. She shuts the door
quietly behind her and turns around.
ANGLE ON ROOM
Gabrielle is sitting on the couch. Xena looks trapped.
GABRIELLE
Hello.
XENA
(cool)
Hello.
She walks into the room and sits in one of the chairs.
GABRIELLE
I got home from work early. I've
been waiting for you.
XENA
Really.
GABRIELLE
Yeah. To tell you I'm sorry I've
been such a...what was the phrase?
XENA
"Bitch on wheels".
GABRIELLE
Yeah. Well, whatever it was...you
were right, I've been one.
Xena, who was obviously prepared for a fight, just as
obviously has no idea how to react now that there isn't one.
XENA
Uh... yeah. I...whatever.
She takes a sudden interest in adjusting Eve's clothing.
XENA (CONT'D)
So, uh. Anything new in Council today?
GABRIELLE
Yes, as a matter of fact. Cyane's
giving a ceremonial banquet tonight.
Roast venison, the works.
XENA
Oh? She's rebuilt her hut enough to
do that?
GABRIELLE
No, she's holding it in the Council
hall. It's an official function.
XENA
Oh.
She fusses some more.
XENA (CONT'D)
So you have to go then.
GABRIELLE
No. I sent Joxer to go in my place.
Xena looks up, surprised.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
He deserves a break from having to
cook for a day...and the Council
deserves a little reminder of just
exactly who's in charge here. When
it gets to the point where they start
throwing things, he's going to grab
a few chops for us and come back
home.
XENA
Takeout.
(muses)
Nice change.
GABRIELLE
Yeah.
She SIGHS and looks at her hands.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Amazons and politics. You never heard
so much pointless bickering in your
life. I guess I just don't know how
to handle it.
XENA
Do what I do.
GABRIELLE
Beat them up?
XENA
Don't knock it. It works.
GABRIELLE
Yes, but you know me...I'm not much
of one for tradition.
XENA
That's true.
There is a pause.
GABRIELLE
(sighs)
Xena, I'm sorry. I've been letting
this whole Queen thing get between
me and what's important. My family
means more to me than my job, and I
guess I've just been forgetting that.
Xena fusses with Eve, not looking at Gab.
XENA
Well... I really don't take your job
seriously enough, I suppose. I know
that it's temporary and keep thinking
of it like...like a hobby.
GABRIELLE
It's not.
XENA
I know. I know that, but sometimes I
just get...bored, and I feel like
you're spending all your time off
doing silly things with the Council
and not fun things with me.
(very very much does
not look at Gab)
I've been...wrong.
(pause; a rather low
voice)
I apologize.
GABRIELLE
Excuse me?
XENA
I said I apologize.
GABRIELLE
I didn't quite hear you. Could you
say that aga--
XENA
(looks at Gab; normal
voice)
Don't push it.
GABRIELLE
Okay.
She smiles.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Well, I guess...everyone's apologized,
and we're all even now.
XENA
Yeah.
She eyes Gab suspiciously.
XENA (CONT'D)
(unenthusiastic)
We don't have to hug, do we?
GABRIELLE
No.
XENA
Good.
She jiggles Eve, so that Eve LAUGHS happily.
XENA (CONT'D)
Amazons are always hugging.
GABRIELLE
Well, if you want I could make you
an
(holds one end of it
up)
afghan instead?...
XENA
Don't start.
FADE OUT: