by Dharma Bum
Copyright 2000
DOGS IN CLOVER
"Moving In"
Show #4
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. TRAIL -- DAY
Thick underbrush lines both sides of this wooded path. XENA
is riding in front on ARGO, carrying EVE in a papoose bundle
on her back. GABRIELLE follows on AMBER, and JOXER is walking
alongside them. Argo is placid as always, but Amber is
skittish - his ears prick up and he swivels his head suddenly
towards something in the bushes, causing Joxer to jump back
in alarm. Gabrielle pulls Amber's head around straight again.
GABRIELLE
Are we there yet?
XENA
Very funny.
GABRIELLE
I hope this works.
XENA
It's our best shot.
GABRIELLE
We won't have to drink blood or
anything, will we?
JOXER
Sacrifice goats?
GABRIELLE
Go on vision quests?
JOXER
Kill things with our bare hands?
GABRIELLE
Dance around naked in mud?
JOXER
Well...
GABRIELLE
(without looking around)
Joxer, don't even think about it.
XENA
No, Rhysis' methods are pretty much
unique. They don't require any of
the traditional shamanic ritual.
There's something just a
little...weird about them.
(considers)
So I figured you two would fit right
in.
BOTH
Hey.
XENA
Oh, lighten up. If anybody can lift
this spell Rhysis can.
GABRIELLE
Well...it'll be nice to be back among
Amazons again.
XENA
(not terribly agreeable)
...Yeah.
GABRIELLE
I bet there's something they can do.
Even if Rhysis can't help.
XENA
Whatever.
GABRIELLE
I hope they don't want me to be Queen.
Not that I would mind, of course.
XENA
Uh-huh.
GABRIELLE
Because I'm more well-traveled than
a lot of Amazons, and I think I could
do a lot of good with a tribe. Bring
them forward out of the Bronze Age
and into the modern world.
XENA
I know the Cyane in this village.
She's not going to be exactly falling
at your feet for you to take over.
There is a rustling in the bushes and Amber shies, half-
rearing and almost unseating Gab as a rabbit jumps out of
the bushes and runs under his hooves across the path. Joxer
tries to catch Gab and Amber comes down hard on his foot.
Joxer YELPS, Amber WHINNIES, Gab YELLS, and an Amazon comes
creeping with exaggerated caution out of the same bushes the
rabbit came from. It is AMARICE. The noise startles her and
she stumbles to her hands and knees. Annoyed, she turns to
Gab and makes a shushing gesture.
AMARICE
Shhh. I'm hunting rabbits.
She starts to pick herself up and then realizes.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
Gabrielle? Is that you?
GABRIELLE
Amarice?
Xena reins Argo around to face them. Amarice scrambles to
her feet.
AMARICE
Xena! Oh, hi! Oh, is that the baby?
Oh, lemme see, lemme see.
XENA
Hello, Amarice.
She takes Eve into her arms so that Amarice can get a good
look.
XENA (CONT'D)
This is Eve.
AMARICE
(peering into papoose
bundle)
Awwwwwww! Awwwwww! Lookit the
cuuuuuutie!
GABRIELLE
Amarice, what are you doing here?
AMARICE
Hunting rabbits.
GABRIELLE
No, with this tribe. I thought you
were up with the Northerners.
AMARICE
(cooing over Eve)
Oh, yeah. I was, but then I died,
and when I came back I came down
here. It's such a cool story. Y'wanna
hear it? It was like first of all...
JOXER
(to Gab)
She gets to be dead too? What is
this?
XENA
We're here looking for Rhysis' tribe.
Is that where you're staying?
AMARICE
Yeah! That's my new tribe. Oh, Eve
is so cute.
JOXER
Everybody gets to be dead except me.
GABRIELLE
Joxer, don't hand me any straight
lines like that.
XENA
We came to see Rhysis, actually. But
it's nice to see you again.
AMARICE
Rhysis isn't in the village right
now. She went to some shaman gathering
thing. A conference, I think she
called it.
Gabrielle and Xena exchange glances.
XENA
Do you think the tribe will let us
stay here until she gets back? We
have a problem we need her help with.
AMARICE
Oh, really? What?
Xena nods at Joxer.
XENA
That.
Amarice notices Joxer for the first time.
AMARICE
(dubious)
Rhysis is good...but I don't think
she can cure that.
FADE OUT:
ACT ONE
EXT. AMAZON VILLAGE -- DAY
A well-populated Amazon village, with a sizeable number of
large, fairly permanent-looking mud-and-wattle huts. The
group is making their way through the village. They are
drawing a crowd. Xena leads the way, and Amarice is walking
with Joxer alongside Amber.
AMARICE
So, married, huh? That is so great.
And by Aphrodite and everything,
that is like so romant--
She sees the look Gab is giving her.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
Or, uh, not. So, are you going to
be Queen now?
XENA
No, we already had this discussion.
Gabrielle shoots her a look.
GABRIELLE
I don't want to cause any trouble.
AMARICE
But all we have is a Cyane. A Queen
outranks a Cyane, just like a
Hippolyta outranks a Queen. And when
a Queen visits a village that doesn't
have one, she can take over for the
duration. It's tradition.
GABRIELLE
(obviously pleased)
You and your traditions.
AMARICE
Hey, don't knock it. I got to be the
Cyane's assistant because I know so
much about traditions. I've been in
three tribes, don't forget. I know
tons of them by now.
XENA
We're here on business, not pleasure.
GABRIELLE
Well, I rather think the question of
rule is business...
AMARICE
We can always ask Cyane and see what
she says. Look, there she is now.
The group reins in to a halt among a crowd of curious Amazons.
The village's CYANE, a middle-aged, stern-looking woman,
stands in front of them. She is flanked by another one of
her assistants, TONYA, a teenager about Amarice's age. Tonya
and Amarice go off to the side, where they start talking in
excited undertones and occasionally pointing at Gab or Joxer,
and giggling.
XENA
Cyane.
CYANE
Xena.
(looks at Amarice)
I see you've met my easily distracted
assistant already.
(looks past Xena)
And this is?...
XENA
This is my friend Gabrielle, who you
may have heard of...
CYANE
(odd tone)
OH, yes.
XENA
(straight-faced)
...and this is her husband.
The Amazons murmur.
TONYA
This? This is your husband?
GABRIELLE
(grudgingly)
Yes.
Tonya circles Joxer, studying him dubiously.
TONYA
Missing a couple of legs here.
AMARICE
He's not a centaur.
TONYA
(thrilled)
Ooh. That's sick.
AMARICE
Cyane, Gabrielle's a Queen.
CYANE
Really.
AMARICE
Yeah, I've told you about her. She
was the Queen of my first tribe.
CYANE
The one that got slaughtered.
AMARICE
Uh...yeah. That one.
TONYA
A married Queen? Can you have that?
I mean, married to a guy.
AMARICE
Well, she wasn't married then.
(dubious)
Maybe it might have helped. Anyway,
she said she'll be Queen while she's
here.
XENA
(rather tightly)
No, she didn't.
GABRIELLE
(likewise)
Yes, she did.
XENA
All we want is to consult with Rhysis
and see if she can lift Aphrodite's
marriage spell.
CYANE
(looks Joxer up and
down)
I can see why. Is that all you want?
To undo the marriage?
GABRIELLE
Yes.
CYANE
I'd be glad to help. No need to wait
for Rhysis.
GABRIELLE
(relieved)
See, Xena?
It wasn't any trouble after all. I
knew the Amazons would think of someth--
Cyane draws her sword. Gabrielle flings herself off of Amber
and in front of Joxer.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Not like that!!
CYANE
It's more efficient than any of
Rhysis' hocus-pocus.
She puts the sword away.
CYANE (CONT'D)
And more traditional, too. I will
not allow a man to stay in the
village.
The party glances uneasily at each other.
AMARICE
(shrugs)
The Cyane's word is law.
(to Gab)
But a Queen can overrule a Cyane...
GABRIELLE
(looking at Xena)
Yes, Xena. A Queen outranks a Cyane...
Xena, looking absolutely disgusted, throws up her hands and
looks away.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
So it looks like we have no choice,
then. If we want to stay in the
village until Rhysis gets back, I'll
just have to assume the Queenship
for now, and I'll try to work out
some sort of compromise which is
acceptable to everyone.
(to Cyane, who looks
almost as disgusted
as Xena)
Taking all the traditions fully into
account, of course.
Cyane glares at Gabrielle for a few seconds, then bows her
head in a ritual gesture of submission which in this context
seems very close to sarcasm. She turns and walks away, and
quite a few of the Amazons go with her.
JOXER
Can I say something here?
EVERYONE ELSE
No.
JOXER
Oh.
He folds his arms and leans back against Amber, looking at
the sky.
JOXER (CONT'D)
I suppose only dead people are allowed
to talk.
GABRIELLE
Joxer, cut it out. You wouldn't be
any good at dying. You'd probably
screw it up and stay dead or
something.
AMARICE
(slightly worried)
Yeah, well, if we make Cyane mad, we
might have a chance to find out.
Xena leans on the saddlehorn and gazes down at Gabrielle.
XENA
So, Your Highness. What's your first
move going to be?
Gabrielle is at a loss for a minute.
GABRIELLE
I think we should unpack.
CUT TO:
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- DAY
The Queen's Hut stands in the middle of the village, on a
larger plot of land than the surrounding huts. It is a fairly
large building, with an attached two-horse stable. There is
grass growing for a good distance around the hut, instead of
the trampled dirt common elsewhere in the village, and hedges
divide the area from the huts on either side.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
The inside of the hut is basically one long room, partially
broken up into separate spaces. There is an outside door at
one end, and a curtained doorway leading to an inner room at
the other, which is used as a nursery. There is a cooking
and food-storage area with a table, a hearth, and a wine-
cupboard, set slightly off from a communal living area in
which there is a COUCH and a couple of chairs. An open
staircase leads to an upper story sleeping-loft.
A large sliding lattice-work door opens at the back of the
room onto a paved courtyard. A long, low table in front of
the couch has an object on it that might be a CHRONOS STONE,
although it looks quite a bit like a deck prism. Gabrielle
enters from the outside, followed by Amarice, who is carrying
some BEDROLLS, and by Joxer. Gabrielle goes up the staircase
into the sleeping-loft, and Amarice and Joxer follow. All
three disappear from view. There is a moment's silence.
JOXER (O.S.)
Ow!
He reappears into view, backing hurriedly down the staircase.
A pillow shoots down after him with the force of a hurled
spear.
JOXER (CONT'D)
Hey! Okay, okay.
A blanket comes down after the pillow. Joxer tangles in it
and more or less tumbles the rest of the way down the stairs.
JOXER (CONT'D)
Ow! All right already!
He picks himself and the bedding up off the floor, and dumps
the blanket and pillow on the couch. Xena enters from the
nursery, carrying Eve.
XENA
Where's Her Highness?
JOXER
Upstairs.
Xena glances up at the ceiling.
XENA
I don't know about this. Staying
with the tribe.
JOXER
Dunno. It might be fun.
XENA
One word, Joxer. Furies.
JOXER
Two words.
(glares upstairs)
Don't care.
XENA
(sighs)
See? It's starting already.
JOXER
What is?
XENA
You've never seen Gabrielle with an
Amazon tribe before, Joxer. I have.
She gets a little carried away.
JOXER
How so?
XENA
She gets too into it. Amazon dress,
Amazon law, Amazon tradition... it
all goes to her head.
Gabrielle comes down the staircase, followed by Amarice.
Gabrielle has changed into a small brown skirt and a smaller
brown leather bra, as well as an array of jewelry that
includes several feathers larger than either. Joxer and
Xena stare.
JOXER
(to Xena)
I thought you said it was her head
it went to?
GABRIELLE
Well, if I'm going to be an Amazon
I'd better dress the part. How do I
look?
XENA
(dryly)
Amazony.
GABRIELLE
You know, Xena, you really should
change while we're here as well. We
want to uphold the traditions. You
should get an Amazon outfit.
XENA
I don't look good in feathers.
Gabrielle looks at Joxer.
GABRIELLE
And as for you, we'll start with
"human being" clothes and work our
way up from there.
JOXER
Hey.
XENA
Gabrielle, I don't think...
Cyane enters through the front door.
CYANE
Gabrielle, I've gathered the Council.
They're very interested in meeting
you, and hearing what you intend to
do about your
(glances at Joxer)
problem.
GABRIELLE
That's great, I'm looking forward to
meeting them. Xena, you should really
be more cooperative. Under Amazon
tradition...
XENA
Joxer. Why don't you go find some
mushrooms for dinner?
JOXER
Why me? Why not Miss Queen-for-a-
Day? It's her turn to forage.
XENA
Do you remember what happened the
last time we let Gabrielle get the
mushrooms?
JOXER
(pause)
I'll go.
XENA
Good boy.
Joxer leaves. He and Cyane exchange glances as he does.
CYANE
The very first order of business is
going to have to be to do something
about that.
GABRIELLE
Oh, he won't be any trouble. I'll
see to it. Besides, we always have
that Furies thing as a backup.
CYANE
We can't have a man staying in the
village, married to the Queen or
not.
AMARICE
We could make him an honorary Amazon.
There's traditions for that.
GABRIELLE
Oh? We can do that?
CYANE
Yes. It's a simple operation.
GABRIELLE
Well... fine. Go ahead, then.
Cyane nods and leaves.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
There. See? That was easy. This
is going to work out really well, I
think.
XENA
I don't know.
GABRIELLE
What? You think I can't hold down a
job for a few weeks?
XENA
I didn't say that. It's just that...
GABRIELLE
If you have something to say, just
come right out and say it.
XENA
You're a
(fishes for words)
big picture person. You're not really
at your best with...day-to-day
operations.
GABRIELLE
You mean I'm not a good Queen.
XENA
Gabrielle, you don't pay attention.
Remember the last time you gathered
the mushrooms?
GABRIELLE
One little detail. Just because I
got the ones with the red caps instead
of the white...
AMARICE
Um, I think Xena has a point.
If you remember what happened back
with my first tribe...you're not
really a detail person.
GABRIELLE
I am so. I'm very careful with
details. I can't believe you would
say something like that.
She glares at them for a long minute.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
"Operation"?
She heads for the door, shouting after Cyane.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Hey! Wait just a MINUTE!
She leaves. Xena and Amarice look at each other. Eve makes
a displeased noise.
EXT. AMAZON VILLAGE -- LATER
A displeased Cyane is striding along through the village,
Gab trotting at her side.
CYANE
You really have no respect for
tradition, do you?
GABRIELLE
I do so. I fully respect the
traditions. It's just that...Well,
some of them are a little outdated.
Cyane stops and glares at her.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
(fast)
But not most of them. I mean, as
Queen I try to take everything into
account, but certainly tradition is
very, very high up there on the
list...
CYANE
In this village we place a very high
priority on traditions. Failing to
follow traditions can only lead to
disaster.
GABRIELLE
"Disaster" is a pretty strong word,
don't you think?
CYANE
And what would you call what happened
to Amarice's first tribe under your
leadership? A "minor setback"?
Gabrielle looks stricken at this. Cyane turns around and
keeps walking, and it's a moment before Gabrielle can follow.
GABRIELLE
Cyane. No. Wait. I can do this.
I know the traditions very well, and
I have Amarice to help.
CYANE
(dismissive)
If you say so.
GABRIELLE
I took an oath.
CYANE
We'll see. They're preparing for
the traditional coronation ceremony
tonight. You might want to come
down and supervise. Unless it's too
..."outdated" for you.
They come to the path leading up to the Queen's Hut.
Gabrielle stops and looks despairingly at Cyane's retreating
back as the older woman continues on.
GABRIELLE
I'll be there. Don't worry, Cyane.
I know the coronation traditions.
(a little desperate)
I'll be there.
Biting her lip, she watches Cyane go for another moment,
then turns and walks up the path to the hut.
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
Xena is sitting on a bench out front, watching Eve play in
the grass. Argo is grazing on the lawn nearby. Gabrielle
sees Argo and stops.
GABRIELLE
Xena! You're letting that horse eat
the grass?
XENA
That's what horses do.
GABRIELLE
What are people going to think when
they walk by the Queen's Hut and see
there's a horse grazing on the front
lawn?
XENA
That the horse is hungry?
GABRIELLE
Xena, I have an image to maintain.
How can I command the respect and
authority of the tribe with, with
horses and everything...
(makes shooing motions
at Argo)
Shoo. Shoo. Go eat somewhere else,
Argo.
Argo continues grazing. Gabrielle goes up to her and tries
to push her off the lawn. Argo stays put.
XENA
"Command respect and authority"?
You haven't even been here a day
yet.
GABRIELLE
All the more reason--oof!--not to
have horses and Joxer and things
around. Oh, come on, Argo, move
your butt.
XENA
I thought you were going to tell the
Council that Joxer was staying.
GABRIELLE
It's complicated, Xena. There are
laws. There are traditions. There
are compromises that have...
(pushing on Argo)
to... be... met...
XENA
Gabrielle, the whole reason you agreed
to become Queen was so that Joxer
could stay, remember?
GABRIELLE
(giving up on Argo)
No, Xena. The reason I became Queen
was so that I could get the spell
broken and that he could go away,
remember?
XENA
But not until then. Gabrielle, you're
starting this whole thing again...
GABRIELLE
What whole thing?
XENA
This whole Queen thing. This whole
more-Amazon-than-thou nonsense.
GABRIELLE
Nonsense? You think it's silly of
me to want to be a good Queen?
XENA
I think it's silly of you to want to
be a Queen at all.
There is a rather deadly silence.
GABRIELLE
Silly. You think my being a Queen
is silly.
XENA
Gabrielle, I didn't mean it like
that, and you know--
Gabrielle points at Argo.
GABRIELLE
(quietly)
Xena. Get that horse off the lawn.
I have a ceremony to prepare for. I
have traditions to maintain, and
laws to uphold, and I do not have
time for this... "silliness".
She turns and walks back down the path, away from the house.
Xena, her expression tense, gathers up Eve into her arms and
SIGHS.
FADE OUT:
ACT TWO
EXT. AMAZON VILLAGE -- AFTERNOON
It is late afternoon. A group of Amazons are preparing a
ceremonial circle in the center of the village. Gabrielle
and Cyane walk around the site, checking their progress,
while Amarice and Tonya trail close behind.
CYANE
It looks fine. All that's really
left to do is to start bringing the
water in.
GABRIELLE
Mud?
CYANE
It's traditional.
GABRIELLE
(starts to say
something, changes
mind)
Yes...I suppose it is.
CYANE
(sounding a little
surprised)
I'm pleased you agree.
GABRIELLE
Well...traditions must be maintained.
She looks around.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Oh...those torches.
(points)
Shouldn't they be at least a foot
taller?
Cyane gives her a look.
CYANE
Yes. Yes, you're right. I didn't
notice. You have a good eye for
detail.
GABRIELLE
(very pleased)
Thank you.
Cyane looks at her, then nods.
CYANE
I fear I may have been too hasty in
my judgement.
GABRIELLE
Oh...it doesn't matter.
CYANE
No, no, I should apologize. I
shouldn't have listened to rumors
and stories. What we heard from
Amarice...
Gabrielle glances back at Amarice, who ducks her head aside
guiltily.
CYANE (CONT'D)
...and others. After what you did
to her tribe, I suppose I was
expecting...something of a disaster,
really.
Gabrielle seems to take a deep breath before she speaks.
GABRIELLE
Nothing like that will ever happen
again.
CYANE
Not if we hold fast to tradition,
no.
GABRIELLE
Absolutely. The traditions must be
maintained.
CYANE
The tradition will take care of
everything. The coronation ceremony,
the temporary change in leadership,
even your, ah ... problem.
GABRIELLE
I told you, I can handle Joxer. You
don't need to worry about him.
CYANE
No...I suppose not. And neither do
you, really.
GABRIELLE
Not at all.
CYANE
He'll be fine. The bears really
aren't all that fierce this time of
year.
GABRIELLE
Bears?
CYANE
Although the wolves have been known
to go rabid.
GABRIELLE
We have bears and wolves in the
village?
CYANE
No, outside of the village.
GABRIELLE
Excuse me. Why would Joxer be outside
of the village?
CYANE
Well, because he can't stay in the
village. Because of the tradition.
GABRIELLE
Oh. Yeah. You know, I was really
hoping we could come to some sort of
compromise on that...
TONYA
Aw, Cyane, couldn't we keep him around
for a little while? Amarice says he
does tricks. I didn't know you could
train them.
CYANE
There are traditions.
AMARICE
But Gabrielle's the Queen and she
has the final say on things. She
doesn't want him banished.
(looks at Gab, who
isn't saying anything)
You don't, right?
CYANE
Amarice, you know Amazon tradition
as well as anyone. Surely you see...
AMARICE
Yeah, I know "a man" can't stay in
the village, but Joxer's not like a
real man or anything. He belongs to
them.
She sees she is getting nowhere with Cyane and turns to
Gabrielle, who refuses to look at her and is instead fussing
with the RING on her finger.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
You can't get rid of Joxer, that
would be like getting rid of...Argo,
or something.
Gabrielle still doesn't say anything.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
(a little outraged)
Gabrielle...
CYANE
She's getting rid of him anyway.
Rhysis is going to break the spell,
remember?
TONYA
Maybe we could compromise. She could
keep him in her backyard or something.
AMARICE
That'd be mean.
TONYA
Not if you put him on a long enough
leash so he could get some exercise.
AMARICE
He should stay with Gabrielle and
Xena in the house.
CYANE
You can't let a man in the house.
He gets on the furniture, and if
you're not careful he'll try to sleep
in your bed.
Gabrielle stops and turns around.
GABRIELLE
Enough! I'm the Queen and I'll make
the decision on this, okay?
CYANE
Of course you will. I just want you
to be sure you're taking Amazon
tradition into account so that you
make the right one.
GABRIELLE
Look, I'm perfectly capable of making
such a simple ruling. If I can't do
something like this on my own I
shouldn't be a Queen at all. I'll
make the decision and I'll--
She looks at Amarice, and her voice falters for a minute.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
--I'll stand by the consequences.
Whatever those may be.
She falls silent, then turns away from the Amazons.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
I'll be here in time for the ceremony
tonight. Tell them--tell them to
carry on.
She walks away from the group.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- LATER
It is growing dark outside. Xena and Eve enter through the
outer door. The room appears to be empty. Xena looks
questioningly at Eve, who COOS and waves at the couch. Xena
walks over and leans down to speak to it.
XENA
You can come out now.
JOXER
(from under couch)
No.
XENA
The Amazons are going to have a
coronation ceremony tonight. We're
all invited.
(leans closer,
conspiratorial whisper)
I understand there's going to be mud
involved.
JOXER
I don't think so. Mean women and
things with sharp edges...I think
I'll just stay here until Rhysis
gets back.
XENA
That could be weeks.
JOXER
I brought a scroll.
XENA
Well... that was probably a wise
move.
She walks around and sits on the couch.
JOXER
(sighs)
Okay. What did I do this time?
XENA
Not you. Me.
There is a rustling noise, and after a second Joxer peeks up
from behind the couch.
JOXER
You? Gabrielle never gets mad at
you. What did you do?
Xena SIGHS. Joxer comes around to sit cautiously next to
her on the couch.
XENA
It's just this whole ridiculous Queen
thing. I tried to tell her not to
go ahead with it, but she got all
insulted and...
JOXER
Well...I think it's really important
to her.
XENA
It's too important. She blows it
all out of proportion. She completely
forgets what really matters.
JOXER
She wants to do a good job.
XENA
She's so intense about it, though.
JOXER
She's just afraid she'll screw it
up.
XENA
(frowns)
Gabrielle? Nonsense.
JOXER
Like she thinks she did with Ephiny's
tribe.
Xena looks at him.
JOXER (CONT'D)
How they all got killed and
everything. I don't think it was
her fault, but she's always going on
about how it was and how she should
have done things different.
XENA
She never talks about that.
JOXER
She talks about it all the time.
They look at each other.
JOXER (CONT'D)
She doesn't like not to look perfect
in front of you, y'know.
XENA
Yeah. I know.
Eve makes a querulous noise, and Xena turns her attention to
the baby. Joxer shifts uncomfortably.
JOXER
Anyway. I oughta really go somewhere
away from Cyane until she gets over
that thing with the swords.
XENA
You're the one who wanted to be dead.
JOXER
Yeah, but when I came back I wanted
to have all my pieces waiting for
me, if you catch my drift.
He stands up.
XENA
Good luck.
JOXER
Yeah. I think I'm gonna need it.
He backs away awkwardly, then leaves quietly through the
sliding door at the back. Xena remains on the couch, her
expression thoughtful.
EXT. AMAZON VILLAGE -- NIGHT
A circle of torches lights the ceremonial area. The Amazons
are dressed in their best feathers and beads and facepaint.
There is drumming and chanting and a constant murmur of
talking. Some of the younger Amazons are already dancing.
Gabrielle is standing at the edge of the circle with Cyane.
Gabrielle is holding, but not wearing, a ceremonial headdress
with a whole eagle's worth of feathers on it, and she keeps
standing on tiptoes and looking anxiously over the crowd, as
if looking for someone. Her expression relaxes suddenly,
and then just as instantly tenses--whoever she's looking
for, she just spotted.
ANGLE ON
Xena, who is barely visible as she makes her way through the
crowd with Eve. She is wearing one of the elaborate feathered
Amazon headdresses, and as she finally steps up in front of
Gabrielle we see that she is also wearing--her usual outfit.
Gabrielle sees this too.
XENA
I tried. Really.
There is a beat, and Gabrielle smiles.
XENA (CONT'D)
I'm just not a feather person, I
guess.
GABRIELLE
It's good enough.
Eve LAUGHS, and grabs at the feathers on the headdress Gab
is holding.
XENA
So. This is a traditional coronation
ritual, huh?
GABRIELLE
In this tribe, yeah. I had Amarice
describe some others for the council.
She's been in three different tribes,
and they all had different rituals.
XENA
Mnh-hmn.
GABRIELLE
Amazon tradition's not quite as set
in stone as some Amazons believe.
XENA
"Some" Amazons.
GABRIELLE
Mnh-hmn.
(a beat)
So, is Joxer around?
Xena gives her a look.
XENA
I thought you were going with
tradition on that one?
GABRIELLE
Another funny thing...according to
Amarice, she never heard any
traditions or laws about the Queen
being married to a non-centaur,
because apparently the subject never
came up before.
XENA
Ah.
GABRIELLE
So, I guess I get to set my own
precedent.
XENA
I can't think of a better Queen for
the job.
Gabrielle's attempt to play it cool cracks a little.
GABRIELLE
(anxiously)
Really?
XENA
Really. I think you're going to be
a fine temporary Queen.
GABRIELLE
Well.
(rather pleased with
herself)
Well.
She starts to pull on the headdress, then openly LAUGHS and
takes it off again.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
I guess I'd better send out a search
party after Joxer before the bears
find him.
XENA
Nonsense. Amazons, dancing, mud?
He's around here somewhere.
GABRIELLE
Yeah. Gotta be.
They watch the dancing for a few moments.
XENA
So. Has there ever been a Queen
whose coronation was interrupted by
a Fury attack before?
GABRIELLE
I think this may be another first.
They watch the dancers together as the camera pans back and
up, and we
FADE OUT