Author's Note:
Small flurry of activity on Xebbie's LJ, come have fun:

http://zebeckras.livejournal.com/377094.html
http://zebeckras.livejournal.com/377385.html

The game is a drabble/ficlet challenge, the prompt is "cooking"

"So we wrap the fish in greens, see?" Joxer mimed the action, carefully tucking invisible leaves around the still-twitching, fresh-caught fish.

"Really," said Xena.

"We put some wild garlic in there, okay, and some parsley--"

"And we eat the fish."

"And we steam the fish. Gently. We put some aromatics in the broth and--"

"Joxer, you want to know how to cook fish? I'll tell you." Xena grabbed the fish away from him. "We catch the fish. We throw the fish in the fire. We eat the fish."

Joxer put his hands on his hips. "That's barbaric," he said.

"Gabrielle, tell him!"

Gabrielle glanced up from where she was playing with Eve. "Oh no," she said. "I'm not getting in the middle of this."

"I'm telling you, Xena," Joxer said, "a little attention to the finer points of preparation here, a little presentation, and--"

Xena's eyes narrowed, and she pulled out the big catapult. "A real warrior just eats his fish, Joxer."

"Now wait--" Joxer said.

"A real warrior doesn't put aromatics in the whatsit. A real warrior doesn't even know what aromatics are. I don't know what aromatics are, Joxer."

"They're flavorings that infuse the liquid with--"

"That's exactly the kind of thing a real warrior doesn't know. You want to be a real warrior, right, Joxer?" Xena poked him in the chest, a gesture somewhat weakened by the fact she used the fish to do it.

"I hear real warriors eat the leather from their own sandals," Gabrielle said.

"You're not helping, Gabrielle."

"You wanted me to help." Gabrielle sighed. "Look, Xena, it's such a nice evening, we have no one after us, we're not in a hurry, what would it hurt for Joxer to take a little time and cook us a fancier dinner than usual? With automatics and all."

"Aromatics," said Joxer.

"Shut up, Joxer. Anyway, you used to tell me a real warrior took her pleasures where she could get them."

"I--" Xena started to wave the fish, looked at it, and stopped. "Oh, all right. Joxer, you can aromafy the fish. Just this once." She pushed it at him. "And don't mess it up."

Joxer took the fish. "A real warrior," he said, "never messes up his aromatics."

Please take the time to write to Dharma at dharmasbox@lono.com, and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 2006 by Dharma Bum and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.