CHARACTERS:
Joxer, The Mighty
Gabrielle, bard of Potedeia*
Xena, Warrior Princess*
* memories only

Rating: PG
Genre: Xena: Warrior Princess
Violence: None
Subtext: none
Sex: some mention of it
Spoilers: Everything before Ides of March

Have you ever
by Brandy

*Chorus*
Have you ever loved somebody
so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
you can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
but they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love, been in love so bad,
you'd do anything to make them understand.
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away;
you'd give anything to make them feel the same.
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
but you don't know what to say, and you don't know where to start.

*Chorus*

Have you ever found the one you dreamed of all your life;
Do just about anything to look into their eyes
have you finally found the one you've given you heart to,
only to find that one won't give their heart to you.
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
and all you can do is wait for the day when they will care.

*Chorus*

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart,
to make you understand how I need you next to me.
Gotta get you in my world cause baby I can't sleep.

Repeat *Chorus* 2x

Have you ever?

The sun descended behind the pinnacle of Mt. Olympus. In its shadow, a lanky young man, his armor clanking, set up his camp. He knelt before a pile of kindling, and began striking his flint. For some reason or another, not a single spark emerged, frustrating the wannabe immensely. He angrily tossed the flint away, with a grunt.

"Great. Just great. First I ruin two of Gabby's scrolls, then I almost stab Xena, I break a vase in one of Ares' temples, now I've got to eat cold leftover rabbit. Can this day get any worse?" At that moment, the universe, having an incredibly nasty sense of humor, decided to cause a deluge. Joxer merely looked to the sky and whispered, "Me and my big mouth."

By the time Joxer had relocated his campsite into some nearby caves, he was shivering from the cold. He reached for his skins, hoping to use them to warm up, but they were as soaked as he was. He grimaced as he peeled the dripping "tunic" and his breeches off of his skin. Reaching into his pack, he found a set of clothes he hadn't worn since the bell incident.

"Thank the Gods these aren't wet. I don't know what I'd do if they were." He slipped into the clean, dry clothes, and reached into his pack for his extra set of flints. Good thing I carry these around. He soon had a fire going, easing a little of the tension of the day. As he ate the reheated rabbit, he remembered the angry words that had caused him to leave.

"Gods, Joxer, can you be any clumsier?!? I can't understand how you have managed to survive so long with all your...your...your ineptitude! Why do you always have to fool around like that?"

"But...but Gabby.."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!! Just...just go away, and leave me alone! Please!"

Joxer put the last of the scraps of rabbit away, and sat by the fire, strumming at his lute. His eyes began to fill with tears, and began to sing:

Why do I live with the pain of your smile?
Why do I care if you start to cry?
Why do I have to keep it inside?
Because I love you, that's why.

"Oh, please, stop with the waterworks. I do not like getting moistened with tears."

Joxer dropped his lute, and spun around. Reclining on an outcropping, the Goddess of Love smiled and waved at the warrior-wannabe.

"Good to see ya again studmuffin. Ni-i-ce threads. Who's your tailor? Oh wait, I'm the tailor right? Those are from when I... Ooo, sorry."

"Hello, Aphrodite. What are you doing here?"

'Dite stood and walked over to him. She gracefully dropped to her knees, and put her hand on Joxer's shoulder.

"Oh, I was just down here...spending some 'quality time' with my hubby Hephy, when we heard you walking around up here. And let me tell you, Hades himself can hear you when you walk in that armor."

"Riiiight. Wait a second, this is the cave of Hephaestus?"

"That's right studly. I know, it's not what you'd think, but it suits Hephy fine. Besides, it's kinda nice for when he, well, I'm not gonna go there."

Joxer smiled tightly then turned his attention back to the fire. Aphrodite sighed, then slid her hand under his chin and turned his head till he was looking at her.

"Sweetie, you got to stop these depressive vibes, they are seriously ruining my mood."

"I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about how mad Gabby was when I left. I mean, I really messed things up for her. I'm not good at anything, except messing up. They don't need me around."

Aphrodite brushed a stray hair from Joxer's forehead before replying. "You're wrong you know. You do more for them than they let you know. I mean, who's the one that makes them feel better when they have a fight? Who stood by Blondie when she had her memory removed? And who stood up to Xena to keep her from killing Gabrielle? You did, not Xena, not anyone else. Let me tell you, their world would be a lot darker, if it weren't for you."

"Maybe, but, I just can't help feeling this way. I try to tell her how I feel, but the words come out completely wrong. Have you ever loved someone so badly that you can't sleep because you're...never mind. Look who I'm talking to. The Goddess of Love. You don't have these problems."

"Yeah, I do. Don't forget, I'm in love too. And being away from Hephy is kind of a bummer."

"But how do you deal with it?"

"Easy. I just remember that he'll always be there for me, and that no matter what happens, what we have is special and won't just die." Joxer's had drooped as tears filled his eyes. "Oops, sorry. I'm not doing too well on the cheering up thing, am I."

"That's all right. It's just that I know that we aren't meant to be together, and that nothing I do or say will change how she feels toward me. I just keep hoping that one day I'll have the courage to tell her. And that maybe she'll have those feelings for me."

"Wait a sec, Joxer. Who said that you and Gabrielle weren't meant to be together? Not that I'm saying anything, but nothing is fully written. You just have to tell her, and hope for the best. Besides, Xena and your little honey muffin are there for you too, aren't they?"

Joxer smiled as he realized what he had been forgetting, "Yeah, your right. I don't know what I would have done when I killed Kryton if it hadn't been for them."

Aphrodite smiled as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Precisely Joxer. You've been there for them, and they've been there for you. Besides, Hephy and I have fights. We make up afterwards, which is always So-o-o much fun. But anyway, as I was saying, after you mess up, you always end up in their good graces again in the end. Just give yourself a chance. The worst that can happen is that she says 'no'."

Joxer stood and moved to the mouth of the cave, staring at the rain. He turned his head to face Aphrodite, revealing his tears as he whispered, "That's what I'm afraid of."

She began fanning her face as she whimpered, "No tears, no tears. Please, I do not want to end up a blubbering beauty." Joxer quickly swallowed the lump in his throat and dashed the tears from his eyes. The rain had slackened off, and suddenly, Aphrodite had an inspiration. She quickly walked outside, and then beckoned, "Joxer, come here."

Joxer moved from the darkness into the light. Aphrodite was pointing to something on the horizon, and when he looked, he saw, not one, but two rainbows. His jaw hit the ground, then he turned to look at Aphrodite. She smiled at him, then returned her attention to the rainbow.

"Yes Joxer, that's a double rainbow. You know how a rainbow symbolizes hope? Well, a double rainbow is like that only more so. It's like a promise, that things can always get better. That no matter how bad things get, you just have to keep believing and going, and everything will turn out ok." She looked at Joxer again. "Just like you need to. Life, and we gods, are going to throw you a lot of grapes in your life. It's up to you to decide whether you'll get stained, or make seriously kickin' wine."

The lanky man sighed, then walked back into the cave. But before he disappeared into the darkness within, he looked at 'Dite and whispered, "Thanks."

A smile tugged at the goddess' lips, and she thought, This is what makes this immortal rap worth it. With a wave and a giggle, she returned to Hephaestus' forge, deep beneath the cave Joxer rested in. Hephaestus looked up from his work as she walked in. A smile spread across his face as he limped to meet her. Aphrodite slid her arms around his waist, and they stood holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Heph pulled back to look in her eyes as he whispered, "So, how is he?"

Aphrodite smiled up at him as she whispered back, "I think he's ok now." She reached up and kissed his cheek. Hephaestus looked surprised, then kissed her forehead.

"What was that for," he inquired.

"Have you ever loved someone so much it keeps you awake at night?"

"Yes I have. But now I can sleep, because you are with me, here in my world."

"Do you think he'll ever tell her?"

"Yes, I do."

"Love ya Heph."

Hephaestus lifted her chin till she stared into his face. His eyes were suspiciously moist as he leaned down to kiss her.

"And I you, my beautiful rose," he breathed, before enveloping her mouth with his.

Author's Note:
This was written after I saw Chakrum (bless me!). I have wanted to write a Lyricfic but never had the time, but I think it turned out ok. Anyway, by now all of Xenadom is in breathless anticipation for what will happen next. Some waiting in hope, others in fear. Now I have nothing against subtext, but I think X&G are more like soul sisters in this life. So TPTB, Let there be Joxer. But for now I must work on Part 1 of "Joxer: Mycenaen Ranger." So until Next Time...

BLOOD, VALOR, AND VICTORY!!!

Please take the time to write to Excalibos at excalibos@hotmail.com and let him know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Aphrodite, and all other characters who have appeared in either series, together with the names, titles and backstories are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "Have You Ever" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999 by Christian Dart and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.