Author's Note: This is a follow up to a previous story that I only posted on Tedtales called "Second Chances At Being a Hero." If you don't want to read it I'll give you a brief summary. Tim O'Neill and Joxer switched bodies. Tim saved Gabby's life, and Tim and Xena fell in love, and Joxer had a great time in the 21st century, but remained true to his one true love. Then they had to go back to their own bodies. This story tells of what happens to Joxer after he returns.

My name is Joxer the Mighty, and I am going to tell you the story of how I finally got what I wanted most in my life, Gabrielle. I am a warrior, a son, a brother, and at long last a husband and father. Gabrielle told me I needed to write these things down to pass on to our children and grandchildren as a legacy; a story of how, even after a long life of wanting and needing, if you want long enough, and fight hard enough, no matter what the odds or personal limitations, you will finally get what you want. I wanted Gabrielle.

I don't want to bore you with the long, sad tale of my life. And anyway, Gabby has already written of it in her scrolls which are kept proudly beside the ones that she wrote about Xena. All you need to understand is that for most of my life I wanted what I could not have: respect as a warrior, the fear of men, and the love of someone special.

I am the son of a great warlord, but I could not be what he wanted me to be. I was ostracized from my family, was laughed at and picked on no matter how hard I tried to be like my father, and like Jett, my brother. I left home filled with false bravado, wanting to prove to them that yes, I too could be a great warrior. But as much as I wanted it, my body and coordination were lacking.

I met the love of my life as I was wandering from town to town, looking for work, looking for someone who needed my sword in their service. I didn't want Gabby at first. I wanted Xena. I was supposed to kill Gabrielle, but I couldn't. As I look back now, maybe my heart, but not my head, knew of my future with her. That was when my heart's fate was decided, even though it was a long road between then and now.

I thought Gabrielle wanted me too, for a little while, when Bliss struck her with that arrow. But she didn't, and even laughed at the idea of us together. She didn't understand. But Xena did. Xena was the one who laid a hand on my shoulder and let a little part of her strength come into me, reassuring me that all would be well. She did that a lot. It was a road fraught with danger and despair, and sometimes a little bit of joy.

I continued to travel with Gabrielle and Xena from time to time, trying to help them as they helped others. I know that a lot of the time I just got in the way and caused them great frustration, but every now and then, I did my part. I came through when others could not. I'm glad to say now that I wouldn't change one thing that happened along my journey to happiness.

But I am babbling again, as I am wont to do when I think of our early days together. Gabrielle wanted me to write not of the sadness, but of the happiness that finally brought us together. So my story starts from there.

I must write a little bit though, of what brought me to that point. Through the meddling of a certain Goddess of Love, I had been transported to the future to a great ship called the seaQuest to inhabit the body of a man called Tim. He had been transported into my body in order to do what I could not, save the life of my beloved. I regretted at the time not taking the choice that was give to me by Ares, to go back and save her life myself, but instead I let the other man do it. But I guess things have a way of working themselves out. Aphrodite came to me after I had been there for a week to let me know that it was time to go home, that all was well and that Gabby was alive.

My journey back was an excruciating one even though it only lasted a minute. The first thing that I felt when the pain stopped was another pain in my back, it was a dull, aching pain that was not there when I left it. The second thing I felt was a hand grasping tightly to mine. Throwing open my eyes I saw a pair of clear blue ones looking at me with concern and even a bit of love. It was Xena. I was back home. My heart leapt at that thought, and at the thought that I would see Gabrielle again. I had missed her while I was gone but at that time I was even a little hesitant about seeing her. I was afraid that she would look at me the way that she had in the past. The looks of annoyance, and frustration, but I lived for the rare times that she smiled at something that I did, or a joke that I would tell.

"Xena!" I said gladly, wincing in pain as I tried to sit up too fast.

"Joxer, is that you?" Xena asked as she let go of my hand to place it on my shoulder, trying to push me back to a prone position on the bed. A look of sadness replaced the earlier looks on her face quickly turning it to one of stone.

"Yeah Xena, it's me. What happened to my back?" I asked her as I watched her almost run for the door and fling it wide.

"Gabrielle, he's back." Xena said flatly into the hall and I looked at her in confusion as she left the room, not even turning back to look at me.

I laid there with my eyes closed, full of dread and excitement at the same time. In my heart I still felt like I was a coward. It was the other man, and not me that saved Gabrielle's life. She was the only thing in my life that brought me happiness and I decided the little bit of happiness that she gave me was more than worth the heartbreak that the rest of my life had caused me.

I heard her booted feet on the wooden floor coming my way. I opened my eyes in just enough time to see her round the corner of my room and give me a smile that lit up my heart and dispelled any notion that I had at that time of her being displeased with me.

"Hi Joxer," Gabrielle said to me as she walked into the room, "How are you feeling?"

"Um, I... Gabby," was all that I could say as I tried desperately to keep my face from turning any redder than it had already started getting. "Actually, my back hurts and Xena didn't tell my why before she left."

"Well, Tim got hurt saving my life." She walked towards me, her hair swinging gently behind her. When she sat gingerly on the bed next to me I could tell she did not want to move me any more than necessary, and I loved her even more for it. "He, or actually you, got stabbed in the back pushing me out of the way of getting stabbed myself. Xena sewed you up and she thinks you will be back to top form in a few months."

"What happened while I was gone?" I asked her hesitantly, my eyes downcast, the doubt and unease about myself creeping slowly back into my heart and into my voice.

Gabrielle told me what had happened with the war. She chose to leave out certain parts, not thinking it was the right time or her place to share it all. She wanted to save me from some of the shock, and any misunderstanding that would come when the full tale was told. And I, in my own way described to her what the future was like, at least the future that I had seen. She listened patiently as I stumbled over words and phrases, trying to describe things that frankly I still did not understand. We also speculated about what events might have changed and what the future might be like now.

I sat on the bed the whole time that we talked, never once looking towards her. I looked out the window, I looked at my fingers fiddling and picking at the woolen blanket that covered me, I looked everywhere but at her. I couldn't.

Gabrielle told me later that she was aware of my unease but could not figure out why so she decided to leave it for later as she saw me yawn loudly and wince in pain as my chest filled with air.

"Joxer, are you in pain?" she asked sweetly.

I could smell her perfume as she rose. I finally had the courage to look up at her as she walked to the little table that was sitting in the corner of the room. I watched her beautiful hands pick up pots and jars from the table and bring them to her face to see what was inside. My back did hurt. The pain had quickly developed from a dull roar to little sharp shooting pains. It had been going on for a while, but I had not wanted to alarm her, I didn't want her to leave my side. I found comfort with her there.

I watched her turn towards me with something in her hand and only then could I gain the courage to look her in the eyes.

"Here Joxer, let me help you roll over so I can put this on your back. Xena said it would help kill the pain."

I shivered involuntarily as her cool hands touched my skin, one hand sliding beneath me to help support my back and the other one grabbing my arm, her long fingers curling around it. It took a minute to roll me over. I was embarrassed by the yelp of pain that I let out midway through the turn. By the time I was on my stomach, I had to clench my teeth tightly together to keep from crying out in pain and was grateful when I was able to press my sweat soaked brow into the soft cool pillow underneath me.

I could feel her carefully removing the bandages covering my wound, and I could hear the hiss as air passed swiftly through her teeth as she looked at my back.

"How bad does it look?" I asked her, afraid of the answer. I turned my head to the side to look at her and I noted the look of sadness that was swiftly replaced by a reassuring smile.

"Well, Joxer, it's going to leave a scar any warrior would be proud of."

I closed my eyes swiftly at her words, fighting the tears that wanted to start flowing. Yes, it was my body that was going to carry the scar, but I was not the warrior that deserved to have it. The self doubt was tearing into my head and my heart.

I could feel her applying the salve and I could feel instantly the pain start to subside. Then I felt her apply another bandage to my wound, and I heard her cross the room again to put the salve back on the table.

"Are you hungry Joxer?" I heard her ask in a concerned voice. "Xena said before she left that you should eat if you are hungry, it will help your recovery."

"No, Gabrielle, I am not hungry," I responded to her without even opening my eyes. I could hear the despondency in my voice but I did not have the strength to fight it. I wanted to have her near, but I also could not stand to have her acting so nice, so caring. I felt like I did not deserve it. "I think I just want to sleep."

"Okay Joxer, but if you need anything just give a yell. I'm in a room down the hall."

"Don't worry about me Gabrielle, I just want to sleep, I'll be fine." I needed to think about my life and about the choices that I had made.

I could hear her as she quietly left the room and closed the door softly behind her. But she had not totally left, I could still smell her in the room. She had always smelled wonderful. I laid there in that bed, not knowing where I was, staring at the door where she had left. The pain in my back was barely noticeable now, thanks to the salve that she had so gently applied. My mind was a whirl of thought and emotion, both trying to take center stage. My mind was filled with hope and heartache, despondency and need, but the last thing that I thought before I drifted into a brain numbing sleep was that I could still smell her perfume in the room.

It would be hard for me to tell this story totally without relating what happened outside of my part in it, so Gabrielle said she would only help in these parts.

"It's your story Joxer," she said to me as we lay in bed one night. "But I understand your need to tell it this way."

So anything you read from here on that was not said in my presence was related to me patiently by both my beloved and Xena.

When Gabrielle left me lying on my stomach in my room, she went in search of Xena, wanting to talk to her. She found her in her room quickly stuffing her belongings into Argo's saddlebags.

"What are you doing Xena?" Gabrielle asked, but already knowing the answer in her heart.

"Hercules just got word of a village being ransacked by pirates a few days east of here and I thought I would go along and help him and Iolaus out."

"What about Joxer? He is still in considerable pain."

"Joxer will be fine Gabrielle. You can stay here and help him heal. I will be back as soon as I can," Xena said as she pushed the rest of her belongings into the bag.

"Xena, you need to talk to Joxer, you need to explain to him what happened. He needs to know. I didn't think it was my place to talk to him about it."

"Gabrielle, I can't right now, the pain is too fresh, I will talk to him when I get back, I promise."

Gabrielle went to Xena and wrapped her arms around her, trying to comfort her but knowing that she couldn't. She could only let her friend go away and regain the peace she needed.

"Tell Joxer I said good-bye," was the last thing that Xena said to Gabrielle as she walked out the door.

Gabrielle could hear the sound of her making her way down the stairs and out the door, and could not help but shed a tear at her friend's unhappiness.

I woke up later that day to the pain slowly returning to my back, and the pain only a full bladder can make as it pushes against your insides. I had slept for a while, I could tell by the shadow that stretched across the room. I lay there for a moment dreading getting up to relieve myself but I could put it off no longer. I pressed the palms of my hands to the mattress below me and pushed up, trying not to bend my back any more than necessary. I had managed to get my knees under me as well without causing any unbearable pain when Gabrielle chose that moment to walk in the room. Embarrassment at being caught in that position, wearing nothing more than my undergarments overruled any thought of the pain in my back and my full bladder as I threw myself back prone on the bed and reached unsuccessfully for the blankets, groaning at the pain that had spread not only to my back, but to every part of my body.

"JOXER!" I heard her say but could not hear the rest as my groans were louder then her voice.

I felt her hands on my face and on my back, gently touching me.

"What were you trying to do?" She asked, a tint of anger coloring her voice.

When the pain was bearable enough I answered her, telling her that I had needed to get up, but I was too embarrassed to tell her why. I guess that she knew instinctively as she took my shoulders in her hands and helped me sit on the edge of the bed.

"You should have called for me Joxer," she said as I finally sat up and put two feet on the floor. My back hurt less by then but the need to relieve myself became almost unbearable.

"Let me help you up Joxer."

She sat down beside me on the bed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, careful not to touch the wound that I could feel bleeding again and helped me rise to my feet. My knees were shaky and my breath was labored. I was hunched over like an old man, but I was standing on my own, and I was able with her help to wrap a blanket around my waist to preserve some sense of modesty on my part.

I could not think of telling the woman that I loved that I needed help in that way. I was not a child but I knew that if I did not let her help me there would be hell to pay.

Gabrielle was there beside me the whole time as I slowly walked to the room. I blushed heavily as she offered to come in with me, lest I need her shoulder for balance. I was hurt but I had more pride than that. She left me inside with a word that I should call her if I needed her. I finished what I needed to and turned around, leaning my upper body on the door to rest before the long walk down the hall back to my room. I was embarrassed to be so dependent on her. I hated that she saw any weakness in me. But what could I do?

When we returned to the room, I saw that she had ordered me a bath. There was a large tub sitting in the middle of the room with steaming hot buckets sitting around, just waiting for me to pour them in and sink into it.

She led me to the bed and I rested wearily on it as I watched her pour the water into the tub. I noticed the steam swirling around her and I thought she looked like some goddess, just risen from the earth. But I had no more time to reflect on this as she turned and helped me to the tub.

I looked at the tub and I looked at her and for the life of me I could not figure out how I was going to get in there without any help.

"Joxer, don't be a baby," she said to me as she grabbed at the blanket tied around my waist. I had not been bathed by anyone since my mother and I would be damned if I would let her, so I grabbed the knot in the blanket and would not let go. We continued to struggle with this for a minute until finally Gabby gave up and told me that she would get the innkeeper to help me into the tub.

I rested my hands at the edge of the tub and listened as she went into the hall and called for the innkeeper. Life is strange you know, here I was, the woman of my dreams willing to help me bathe and I would not let her. The innkeeper finally made it up to my room and Gabrielle stayed out in the hall until I was immersed in the steaming water, but unfortunately she had other plans about my bathing. I heard the door open again after the man had left and I quickly grabbed one of the towels they had provided and placed it on my lap. I turned my head in her direction and told her to leave. But Gabby, being Gabby, had other ideas.

"I need to take the bandage off so your wound will get bathed too," she said as she walked towards me. "Sit up."

I sat up slightly giving her only enough room to undo the bandages that were covering it.

"It's bleeding again Joxer, sometimes I just don't understand you. Let me see if you tore any of the stitches."

I could feel her warm breath against my back and I could feel her nimble fingers gently probing the wound too see what damage I had done. It felt so good to be touched with care and compassion from her.

"It doesn't look like you tore any stitches, Joxer, but you need to be more careful."

I could only grunt to this because the effects of both the water and her fingers had lulled me into a dream like state. I could imagine in my dreams that she was doing this not out of concern, but out of love. I could dream of other places that her fingers would touch and probe and caress. I could dream that we had a life together, and that we had children and a house and were happy. Maybe in another lifetime, maybe if I were another man, I sadly thought to myself.

I was soon brought out of my dreams as I felt her pick up a wash cloth and dunk it in the water between my back and the tub. She washed my wound carefully and applied some more salve and another bandage. I knew that I had to get her out of there then as she was apt to see just what state I was starting to get in. She, much to my relief, did just that, telling me to call her when I needed to get out.

After she left I laid there in the water with my eyes closed, letting the steam wrap around me in a protective cocoon. When the water started to get cold only then did I call for her to get the innkeeper to help me out. I wanted to talk to her still and I was getting hungry. I wanted to know where Xena was and why she left so abruptly when I woke up.

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