"Wrong Place, Wrong Time" pt 1

The deck beneath his feet was bucking and rolling worse than an untamed horse. Joxer felt the contents of his stomach start to work its way back where it came from and lost his struggle to keep it down. Leaning over the railing, his stomach heaving, he threw up the ship rations that he had last evening.

"Ho there! Look alive men! We've been through worse then this! Barnes, Pete -- tighten that mainsail! Scott, Willie -- batten those hatches! You there! Jogger, Josser...", the captain of the vessel snapped his fingers, trying in vain to remember the name of the young man who came aboard during their stay at Greece. Giving up in frustration he bellowed over the howl of the wind, "Get your arse below decks if you're unable to help!"

Listening to the captain yell further orders to his crew, Joxer stumbled down the stairs and tried to lay down on his bunk. The ship pitched high and threw him to the floor. Groaning he got to his knees and struggled back onto his bunk. Closing his eyes, Joxer thought about the day he boarded and wished he was anywhere else.

It was a beautiful fall day, and Joxer was eating breakfast with his friends, Xena and Gabrielle. He was wearing a loose top and simple leggings. His armor was in the supply pack that was between his feet.

"So, how long do you think you'll be gone?" asked Gabrielle, between mouthfuls of food.

Joxer looked up from the fruit plate he ordered and answered, "Oh, probably about 4 months or so. That's what the captain told me anyway. I was really lucky to get on, you know. Not everyone has the opportunity to sail on the maiden voyage of the Titanicus."

"What will you be doing?" asked Xena, using a cloth to polish her chakram.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Washing the decks, polishing the rails, helping prepare the food..." he replied, averting his eyes.

"So you'll be peeling potatoes, huh? Sounds like fun." snickered Gabrielle. "Well, at least they're paying you. Do you know how much you'll be getting for this?" she asked.

"Well, we didn't exactly get to that yet. But I'm sure they'll pay well. After all they're selling the tickets for a couple hundred dinars! You'd have to be pretty rich to get on this ship. I hear the Queen of Egypt will be on board! You remember her? Cleopatra? And there will be others as well! Wow! This is going to be a great trip!" Joxer rambled on about some of the other well-known passengers until it was finally time for him to board the great ship.

"Wow! Look at the time. I'll have to hurry if I want to make it on board in time! Catch ya later guys!"

Gabrielle and Xena both wished him well and they the three friends parted.

"Joxer the sailor! Master of the seven seas! Never feeling sick at sea! And I don't have knobby knees! Hee hee! I'm Joxer! I'm Joxer the Mighty!" Walking toward the huge ship, he continued to hum his tune until the captain yelled at him.

"You there! If you want to be part of this crew, you'll have to hurry! We're leaving port as of now!"

Joxer stopped humming and started to run towards the gangplank as fast as he could. Reaching it and running up it to the ship, he realized that he left his supply pack at the table with Gabrielle and Xena. Turning around he saw Xena holding his sack.

"Xena! Up here! Throw it to me!" Joxer yelled and ducked as the pack went sailing over his head to land on the ship's deck.

"Good luck Joxer!" Xena grinned and waved. Gabrielle smiled and waved at him as well and then the ship was under way and Joxer lost them in the crowd that had gathered.

"Good-bye! I'll see you soon!" he yelled and waved his arms to his friends.

Turning and grabbing his pack, he ran into the rather large belly of the first mate. "Where do you think you're going? You've got work to do in the kitchen. Stow your gear in your chest and go see the cook." Grinning he added, "He needs your help with dinner. Ha Ha Ha!"

Joxer did as he was told and was soon in the galley peeling potatoes with a very dull knife. After a couple of hours of peeling he got up to stretch.

"Have you finished that all ready?" Grinning, the cook reached for Joxer's arm and said, "Good! The floor in the dining area needs to be mopped and waxed before dinner. Hop to it boy! The mop and bucket is in there." Laughing he shoved Joxer to another room and walked towards a large wooden table with a meat cleaver and what looked like a half of a cow on it.

Joxer looked around and grabbed the mop and bucket and, muttering under his breath, headed towards the dining room. "Sure! Sail the seven seas! See exotic lands! Be on the biggest ship in the world! What a pile of donkey dung! Slave on the biggest ship and if you're lucky enough to work on the upper decks, you might get to see the sea! And the only way you'll actually see any exotic lands is if you abandon ship! This is only my first day and I've got four more months of this! If it wasn't for the fact that I needed the money, I wouldn't be here right now!"

Getting to work, he started humming his little tune and thinking of Gabrielle and soon found himself in better spirits. When he finished mopping and waxing the floor, he returned the mop and bucket to their place and found the kitchen empty. Finding some water and bread, he sat down and was not eating too long before an unpleasant smell entered the room followed by its owner -- the cook.

"Here now! What do you think you're doing? Nobody gave you permission to eat yet. Give that back and get to work! You don't get no breaks until you're finished your work. Now go see the first mate, he's got some chores for you. When you're finished with those, you can do the dishes."

"I'm sorry. I'm going. By the way, what do I get paid for this?" Joxer asked.

"PAID?? HA HA HA!! Who told you, you were going to get paid? You should be priviliged just to be on this ship! It's the Titanicus! There's no other ship like her, anywhere!" The cook laughed and pushed Joxer out of the galley.

With the cook's cruel laughter in his ears and his face burning with embarrassment, Joxer made his way to the bridge to look for the first mate and his next chore. When the evening came and nobody could think of any more chores for him to do, Joxer collapsed on his bunk and slept soundly until the next morning when someone dragged him out of his bed (and a sound sleep) and he landed on the floor amidst snickers, giggles, and more cruel laughter.

The following several weeks went much the same as the first day with the exception of a couple of small storms and more than a few vicious pranks aimed at Joxer. Then, in the late afternoon of a sunny calm day, the big storm hit. Nobody was prepared, least of all Joxer. Seasoned seamen and guests alike were both taken by surprise. The guests were sent to their cabins and every crew member was sent above decks to assist in the rigging and other duties. Joxer rushed above to assist when a large wave crashed over the deck and he got a mouthful of salt water. Gagging and staggering to the rail, he leaned over and threw his dinner over the side of the ship.

Opening his eyes, Joxer tried to get to his feet and, after several tries, finally succeeded. I will go up there and help. They may have been mean to me, but they still need the help. He thought to himself. With his stomach feeling much the same as the storm outside, Joxer summoned his courage and strength and went up the stairs to help his crewmates. Looking around he saw fear and desperation in the faces of men who had lived on the sea for most of their lives. The first mate was near the stern desperately yelling orders to the men who could hear him. Seeing Joxer, he waved at him to join him.

"I need you to relay orders to the men in the rigging. Think you can do that, lad?"

The concern in the man's voice caught Joxer off guard. "Yeah! I mean sure I could. You bet! So what do you want me to tell them?"

"Good lad! This is probably the most important job you've had on board this ship, so listen carefully! Tell them to cut the mainsail! They've got to cut it! Now go to it boy!"

"Gotcha! Cut the sail!"

"Not the sail! Cut the Mainsail! If they don't we'll be goners! Remember the Mainsail! Hurry!"

"The mainsail. Got it!" Turning towards the bow. Joxer stumbled under the heavy winds and pounding rains. Getting up, he grabbed on to the railing and pulled himself along until he got to the rigging. His hair was whipping his face as he strained his eyes looking for the sailors among the ropes. His wet clothes hung heavy on his lean frame as he grabbed the rigging and hauled himself up. Above him the men were trying in vain to take the whipping mainsail down. Climbing as fast as he could with the heavy wind that tried to carry him out to sea with every gust. Looking up again, trying to shield his eyes from the stinging rain, he saw the nearest man only a few feet away.

"Hey!" Joxer yelled loudly. "Cut the mainsail! Cut the mainsail!" Joxer realized the man couldn't hear him over the wind and climbed so that he was within reach of his boot. Reaching out to grab the boot, a strong gust of wind blew Joxer off the rigging and he fell, screaming, to the deck below. Thinking quickly, he tried to grab something to stop his fall, but nothing was within reach and he landed on the deck hard. As the storm continued unabated, Joxer lay unmoving on the ship's deck, perilously close to the starboard edge.

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