CAST:

Joxer - wannabe hero
Autolycus - King of Thieves
Ares - God of War
Various Roman soldiers and guards
Xena (dead)- Warrior Princess
Gabrielle (dead) - Bard of Potedia, Xena's sidekick
Argo - The Wonder Horse

Rating: Squeaky clean... a little sad maybe... but nothing that hasn't been shown on the show.
Note: This story takes place after Ides of March and before Fallen Angel.

The dark-haired man lifted his head to see with his own eyes, once again, the bodies of his friends hanging lifeless on the crosses of death. He quickly closed his eyes once again to shut out the morbid scene before him.

He could still hear the soldiers laughing and gambling among themselves. He looked down at Roman soldiers crouched under Xena's body and throwing something on the ground, and the shouts of triumph from one soldier as he grabbed one piece of Xena's armor and walked off triumphantly with it, showing it off like a trophy. Joxer wiped a tear from his cheek as he watched his friends' bodies being mocked and ridiculed by the cruel men under them. He saw a soldier lift his sword and stab it deep into Xena's side. Then the man walked over to Gabrielle and did the same thing. Joxer watched in sorrow as blood flowed from the wounds.

He looked at the sky and tried to determine how long until night. He wanted desperately to save his friends' from their tormentors, but to do anything now, while it was still light out, would mean certain death for him. He had no idea how he would manage this alone, but he was determined to try.

He got up and turned around to return to his small cave that was hidden a short distance away. As he reached the entrance, he saw a flash of light and Ares appeared before him. Joxer glared at the God of War and walked into the cave, ignoring him.

"I'm sorry about what happened. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this." Ares said, appearing before him again.

"Go away, Ares!" Joxer snapped.

"Hey, relax! I'm here to help. Of course if you don't want a safe passage out of Greece, then..." The God turned as though to leave.

Joxer turned away, trying to ignore him. If Ares was offering to help, there was a catch and Joxer didn't want to know what it was.

"Listen to me, you pathetic excuse for a man! You won't get anywhere without my help! There are soldiers and guards all over the place! I'm offering to help, no strings attached. Just say the word, I'll get you and them away from here and back to Greece." Ares offered.

Joxer looked at Ares and thought the god's offer over carefully. He knew the god was right, he would have trouble just getting the bodies down, not to mention getting them back to Greece. But he knew from Xena that Ares was not to be trusted.

"I think I can manage on my own." Joxer said and turned away, hoping that he made the right choice.

The handsome god stared at the scrawny man before him in disbelief. He smiled at Joxer and nodded. "Fine. But I'll be watching. If you need help, just give me a call." Ares turned and paused, "I'm sorry, Joxer."

Joxer nodded and sighed as he watched the god disappear. He looked outside again, but it was still light, so he sat down and waited for the night. A few minutes later he heard someone outside the cave and quietly drew his sword, waiting to see who it was.

A tall dark figure appeared in the mouth of the cave and came in slowly. Joxer leapt out of the shadows and held his sword at the person's throat.

"Who are you?" Joxer asked in a low voice.

"Joxer? It's me, Autolycus. I heard about Xena and Gabrielle. I had to see for myself."

Joxer lowered his sword and backed away. "It's true. I could use your help, I'm going to bring their bodies back to Greece. They would have wanted that." Joxer replied.

Autolycus looked at Joxer, the face that once looked carefree and happy now looked almost 10 years older. He nodded and Joxer breathed a sigh of relief.

"She's dead?" Autolycus asked quietly.

Joxer nodded.

"I never thought she would go like this, not Xena. How did it happen?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I heard rumors that she was captured by the Romans and came to see if I could help." Joxer replied.

Autolycus simply nodded. This was no time to start an argument. Any other time, he would have scoffed and teased the man about his lack of coordination, but he was wise enough to know when to stop.

Joxer looked outside and saw that the sky was beginning to darken somewhat. He made his way past the king of thieves and looked down at the soldiers that were guarding his friends' bodies. There were fewer than before and it looked as though the gambling had ended. He felt Autolycus' hand on his shoulder and looked up into the tear-stained face of the thief.

"I never believed it. It just didn't seem real until I saw her... there."

"I can still see her.... She's like a ghost in my dreams." Joxer said quietly. Joxer turned back to check on the soldiers, there were not as many as there were before and he felt better knowing that Autolycus was willing to help. He didn't get along with the king of thieves the best of times, but this was different. He knew Autolycus would help him unconditionally. "Neither did I." Joxer replied.

It was almost completely dark now and Joxer motioned for Autolycus to follow. He moved closer to the crosses and hid behind a tree that was at the edge of the clearing where the crosses were erected. Autolycus was right behind him and leaned closer, whispering in his ear.

"What now? These are Roman soldiers we're talking about! We don't have anybody to help us, it's just US!" Autolycus said.

"I'm going to get them down, with or without your help." Joxer said grimly and deliberately started to walk towards the crosses, slowly.

Autolycus saw the determined look on Joxer's face and pulled him back. "Wait! I'll help, but we can't just walk out there without some kind of plan." Autolycus said.

Joxer allowed himself to be pulled back and waited for the thief to continue. Autolycus looked at the guards and his eyes glinted with mischief.

Joxer walked into the clearing and tried to attract one of the guards' attention. One approached and Joxer raised his hands before him, backing away as the guard drew closer.

"What do you want?" the man demanded and continued to approach. Looking at Joxer closer, he continued, "I know yo...ungh!"

The guard collapsed as Autolycus stood over him and grinned, tossing aside the large rock he used to club the large man. "One down, one to go!" he grinned, then sobered as he noticed Joxer's face.

The pale man was paler then usual and his face had lost its normal comical look and it was replaced with a cold look that chilled the King of Thieves to the bones. At this moment, the warrior wanna-be had the same look as Jett the King of Assassins, his brother.

"Right, I'll get back and we'll do it again." Autolycus said as he bent down to pick up the rock again.

"I don't think so!" a voice said behind him. Autolycus started to get up and felt something sharp dig into his back. "Stay right there!"

Autolycus glanced towards Joxer, expecting to see him cowering, but was surprised to see him with his sword out and aimed at the guard, a steel look in his eyes.

"You are going to help us get our friends down." He said.

The guard looked at the sword and then at the look on the tall, lanky man's face. He slowly lowered his blade and glared at Joxer.

"You won't get far! There are Roman soldiers all along these roads, they'll stop you before you travel more than a league!" The soldier threatened.

Joxer's face was like cold stone, as he answered, "That is not your concern. Either you help us get our friends down or you will die here, where you stand."

Autolycus stared at Joxer's face. He had never seen him so intense before, it chilled him to the bones. The Roman glared at Joxer and realized that he had seconds left to live if he refused. He slowly nodded and dropped his sword to the ground.

"You have a short time before the next shift shows up. You'll need the hammer to pry the nails out of their hands and feet, it's behind Xena's cross. I won't help you get your friends down but I won't stop you either." The man said.

Joxer nodded and replaced his sword. Without a word, he turned towards the trees of death and walked purposely towards them. The guard made no move to stop him and Autolycus got to his feet quickly and ran to catch up with Joxer.

"Well, you sure showed him. I guess he'll think twice about bothering us anymore." Autolycus said.

Joxer said nothing and kept walking towards the snow-dusted bodies of his friends. Autolycus silently followed, stopping behind Joxer as the lanky man paused before the now broken body of the warrior princess before continuing on to the still beautiful bard. Joxer scuffled his feet around in the snow and came upon something hard. He bent down and pulled up a ladder. He leaned it against Gabrielle's cross and looked around again, this time for a hammer so he could remove the nails from her hands and feet. He glanced at Autolycus and saw that he was holding out a hammer and grinning. Joxer took the hammer and met the thief's gaze briefly. He nodded his thanks and climbed the ladder.

Using the hammer to pull out the nails, he caught her before she could fall and Autolycus gently held her as Joxer pulled the last nail holding her feet. He threw down the hammer and ran around to help Autolycus carry her gently away and lay her carefully on the ground. Tears streamed down his face as he gently stroked her face and brushed the hair from her eyes.

"Oh Gabby!" he sobbed and looked at Autolycus, "We love and never tell. I wanted to tell her so many times, but I was so afraid she'd hate me. Gods, Gabrielle, I love you!"

Autolycus put a comforting hand on Joxer's shoulder. "We don't have much time left before the next watch comes. We need to get Xena down too. We'll have time for mourning later." He said softly. Joxer nodded and wiped his face as he got up and retrieved the hammer.

Autolycus waited halfway up the ladder and reached for the hammer. As the thief removed the nails from the warrior woman's hands, Joxer caught her and held her close. Her body was cold and although he knew she wouldn't benefit from his body heat, he tried to warm her anyway. Autolycus removed the last nail and came around to help carry her. The men laid her by the bard and Joxer left and quickly returned leading Argo and a cart.

Autolycus laid Xena gently in the cart and gazed lovingly at her face before he kissed her lips softly. Joxer placed Gabrielle beside her friend and stroked her face softly before he covered their bodies with a tarp and led Argo quickly away.

"Where to now?" Autolycus asked looking around nervously at the many Roman soldiers that were on the roads.

"Greece." Joxer replied quietly, adjusting his fake beard.

Autolycus had worked hard to disguise them both as old farmers and he had even managed to disguise Argo to look like an old nag. The horse for her part certainly acted like an old nag, stumbling and tripping over small stones on the road.

Joxer had discarded his armor and was hunched over and walking slowly down the road to Greece. Only part of this was an act. After taking their friends bodies down last night, they had walked all night only stopping at dawn to disguise themselves and then moving on again. Both men and horse were near exhaustion and in desperate need of rest. Joxer stumbled into a soldier and mumbled an apology.

"Watch where you're going, old man!" the soldier growled and shoved the exhausted man away from him.

Joxer fell back into Autolycus and apologized again. The soldier looked at him again and grabbed his shoulder. Joxer looked up into the face of the soldier and slowly realized that his fake mustache was hanging off his face. He tried to cover it up unsuccessfully and realized that the soldier wasn't fooled.

"Who are you?" the soldier demanded. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just a farmer." Joxer said nervously glancing at Autolycus for help.

Another soldier went to the back of the cart and lifted the tarp covering the bodies.

"It's them!" he yelled.

"Just a farmer, eh? Let's see how well you can fight, farmer." The soldier growled.

Joxer and Autolycus drew their swords and prepared to fight. The soldiers laughed as they saw the utter exhaustion written on the men's faces. A flash of light behind the men caused the soldiers to stop their snickering and back away.

"Need any help Joxer?" Ares asked as he glared at the soldiers threatening Joxer and Autolycus.

"Ares? What's he doing here?" Autolycus asked.

"He left just before you showed up and offered to help me, I refused." Joxer replied.

"Well, we need the help now!" Autolycus said.

Ares grinned and drew his arm back like a pitcher, a large ball of energy in his hand. "Play ball!" he said and threw the energy ball at the soldiers causing them to fly back.

Joxer and Autolycus took advantage of the diversion and jumped into the cart. Argo reared up and leaped into a fast canter, quickly leaving the battle behind them. She ran for several miles before her strength ran out and she slowed to a walk. Joxer pulled back on the reins and they stopped. He glanced around and saw no one around. He jumped out of the cart and Autolycus followed.

"We're not going to make it to Greece. We'll build a pyre here and give them a proper funeral." Joxer said.

The men spread out and began to collect wood to build two pyres. A short time later, they were finished and went back to the cart to unload the bodies. Joxer pulled the tarp off and felt a tear run down his cheek as he gazed at his friends for the last time.

"They look as though they are just sleeping. Like they might wake up anytime." Joxer said softly.

"Yeah." Autolycus agreed then glanced at Joxer's tear-streaked face, "What will you do now?"

"I'm not sure. Now that she's gone, I feel lost. Maybe I'll go live with my uncle, he has a farm and could always use the help." He replied, then, looking lovingly at his beloved, whispered, "I'd give anything just to have one more night with her."

Joxer stroked her face gently one last time and then softly kissed her lips before wrapping her and carrying her to the pyre.

Autolycus looked at Xena and tried to stem the flood of tears. He looked up to make sure Joxer wasn't near him and spoke softly. "If there was anything I could do to bring you back... anything I could steal... know that I would do anything for you. I love you Xena, I wish you luck... wherever you are." He bent over and gently kissed the back of her hand and then kissed her lips before carrying her to the pyre.

The men lit the pyres and then stood back as the flames licked the wood and reached high into the sky. The silence was pierced by a scream and both men turned to see Argo rearing high and screaming her sadness to the world. A flash of light announced Ares' arrival.

"Thank-you for your help back there. I think Xena would have appreciated it." Joxer said.

"I'm impressed. You didn't do too bad. You should have stuck around to see those Romans running like the cowards they were! Hehehe! I'll bet they won't be able to sit down for a week!" Ares grinned and then turned to the pyres.

"Good-bye Xena! Take it easy on Hades!"

Joxer and Autolycus watched as the god disappeared and then turned to return to Greece. Joxer felt a gentle nudge at his shoulder and turned to see Argo at his side. He smiled sadly and patted her neck. The two men and the mare returned home feeling the deepest void of their entire lives.

Disclaimer:
Argo did not hurt herself by tripping over any rocks and Joxer and Autolycus made it back to Greece. And as you all know by now, Xena and Gabrielle are now alive and well again after Fallen Angel so Joxer and Autolycus aren't sad anymore! *bg* And, yes, those bad Roman soldiers really couldn't sit down for a week after Ares got through with them!! LOL!!

Please take the time to write to Anne at JoxerBuddy@hotmail.com, and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Autolycus, Ares, Argo, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. The lyrics to "Victims" are owned by the appropriate copyright holders. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999 by Anne Beaudry and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.