"Joxer the Mighty! Roams through the countryside! With little Gabby by his side!" Then sighing mutters "I wish! Geez, if only I could tell her how much I love her! I'll tell her next time I see her! I'll walk right up to her and say 'Gabrielle, I love you.' Yep! That's what I'll do! Just as soon as - OOOOF!" Getting back to his feet, the tall, young man looks around for what he ran into and looks up into the smirking face of his brother, Jett.

Reaching down to help Joxer up, Jett sings "Joxer the Clumsy. Trips over his feet! Plus he's a stupid geek! Ha Ha! So! How's my baby brother doing? Fought any warlords? Rescued anybody yet? Hey! Who's that wench you had a thing for? Did you get her yet?"

Refusing his brother's outstretched hand, Joxer gets to his feet. "Don't talk about Gabrielle like that! She's not like one of your bar-maids! She's beautiful and intelligent and -"

"So, she still ignores you, doesn't she?" Jett interupts, "I am embarrased to call you my brother! You don't even have the guts to tell her what you feel! By the gods! Oh well! Since you are my little brother, I'm going to help you with your little 'girl problem' and help you put that little wench in her place! Consider it my 'gift' to you. She is going to learn how to treat the son of a great warlord!" Shaking his head, Jett sighs, "How our father ever allowed you to live past a suckling, I'll never know!"

"You leave Gabrielle alone or else!! If you even go near her, I'll kill you!" Joxer growls.

"You kill me??" Jett laughs. "Tell me, has your sword ever tasted blood? Do you even know how to kill? If it wasn't for Xena and your little wench you'd have been dead long ago! But I won't hurt your little Gabby friend! You have my word on that! But I will promise you this -- by the time I finish with her, she will run into your arms!" Turning to leave, he said, "Good-bye 'Joxer the Mighty!'" he laughs and runs off before Joxer could say another word!

Joxer ran after his fast departing brother. "Jett! Jett!! Stop! Come back! JETT!! If you hurt her!! I'll kill you!!" Joxer realizing he would never catch up to his brother in his heavy armor, slows down to a walk and, seeing a village close by, heads towards it.

"How am I going to get to Gabrielle? I can't possibly get to her before Jett does! Perhaps I can borrow a horse from someone." After asking several villagers and getting the same response from each, he continued to walk down the main road.

Meanwhile, not far away...

"Gabrielle, I'll only be gone a day, two at the most. There's a village nearby. I'll meet you there. Shouldn't take too long to convince that warlord to stop his little war." Xena grins and finishes loading Argo. "Besides you said you wanted to get some fresh bread and vegetables. Here," she tosses a leather pouch to her companion, "get something for yourself as well. I'll see you soon! Good-bye!" With that she urges Argo into a canter and heads to the southeast.

"Good-bye Xena!" Gabrielle yells and waves to her friend.

As she starts to gather her supplies, she drops everything, grabs her staff and whirls on the figure emerging from the bushes behind her. "Oh hi Joxer. What are you doing here? I thought you were still in the south?" She relaxes and starts to gather her stuff once more.

"Oh, um, well, I thought maybe you might need some protection, seeing as how you're travelling without Xena. I mean you are going north to Surrus, aren't you? It's the next village up the road." He bent and tried to help her pick up everthing, but only succeeded in dropping it and breaking a mirror.

"Joxer! Just leave it! I'll get it. Oh! Do you know how hard it is to get one of these? I can't get another one until winter! That's the only time we'll be..." she stops and looks at the man standing before her. "Joxer are you okay? You look...different. Where's your helmet?"

"Oh, um, well, I kind of lost it. Yeah, that's it! I was in a big fight with, uh, three, no, maybe four or five, yeah, five big guys! They were good, but no match for a seasoned warrior like me! You know how it is, right?" Joxer grinned, a silly, sloppy Joxer-type grin. "Besides, I'm kind of tired. Let's just go. We should try to reach the village before dark. Never know what's going to sneak up on you in the dark. I'm really sorry about the mirror. Forgive me?" He smiles another goofy grin.

"Yeah! Yeah! I forgive you." Gathering up the last of her stuff she says "All done. Ready to go?"

"I was born ready!" He replies and, grabbing some of the supplies, walks quickly towards the nearby village.

"Hey! Joxer, slow down! We're not in a race!" Gabrielle jogged to catch up to him. "Joxer wait up! What's with you? Are those guys still after you? You know, I can help you beat them!"

"Nothing's wrong. I just thought you might want to get to town and maybe we could eat or something. That okay?"

"Yeah. That's okay. You sure are acting weird. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Gabrielle asked with concern.

"I told you, I'm fine! Hey! What's that over there? Looks like an abandoned hut or something. Let's check it out!" Joxer headed towards the abandoned hut.

Gabrielle followed him cautiously. "I thought you wanted to go to the town and get something to eat?" She paused, "Joxer, this doesn't feel right! Joxer stop!"

She ran and grabbed him by his arm. "Didn't you hear me? It doesn't feel right. Let's just go. We'll get something to eat." Without warning the man turned and grabbed her so suddenly that she didn't have time to react. "Shut-up! For once in your life just shut-up! You should have listened to your feelings. They were right, I'm not Joxer! I'm Jett!"

Gabrielle gasped, "Oh, no!"

Finding a temple for Aphrodite, Joxer went to pray to the goddess of love. "Aphrodite, I know this is a big thing to ask, but I know you've helped me in the past and I really need some help right now. Actually it's Gabrielle that needs help not me."

Suddenly, with a flash of sparkling light, Aphrodite walked towards Joxer. "Alright, enough already! Did you bring me an offering?"

Joxer looked down and mumbled, "No, um, I didn't, uh, get the chance to buy anything for you. I was kind of in a hurry. I'm sorry!"

Looking upset, Aphrodite pouted a little and said, "Well, you did bring those wonderful truffles last week. So I guess I can help ya out. But don't let this get around! If anyone finds out about this, I'll have all of Greece asking me to help them out and I'll never get an offering again! Okay, so what's the deal? Is Gabby ragging on you again? I can make her fall right into your arms, just say the word lover-boy and she'll be all over you like bees on honey!"

"No! Nothing like that. My brother's gone to do something -"

"Your brother? Is he the one that, like, destroyed that great set-up I did in Athens? The one with between that prince and the servant girl?" she interrupts.

Joxer nodded, "Yeah. That was him. Anyway, he said he was going to teach Gabrielle a lesson about being a proper woman and how to properly respect a man and stuff like that. I'm really worried about her. Can you help her?"

Aphrodite approached Joxer smiling, "I would love to help you. What do you want? Super strength? Grace? Do you want to be the best warrior ever?"

"Thanks, but no. I only want to know where they are. Oh yeah! A horse would be nice so I can get there fast!"

Kissing his cheek, the goddess of love replied, "Joxer, you have got to be the most considerate man I've ever met! You can find them in a small hut, and it's right outside the village so you don't need a horse. Okay? Anything else?"

Joxer ran out of the hut yelling "Thanks!"

Aphrodite smiled and said to herself, "Joxer you are either the most loyal man I've ever met or you're incredibly stupid! Well, you asked for help and I think I know the perfect person to help you!" With that she disappeared in another sparkling flash of light.

"What do you want with me?" Gabrielle asked.

Jett smiled, "Sorry, you're not my type. Too cold! But you are unfortunately my brother's type. In fact, he will not so much as even look at another woman and did you know that he visits Aphrodite's temples every chance he gets? The boy's spent more on truffles for that blonde bimbo then on food for himself!" Jett grabbed her staff and threw it out of her reach. He walked towards her menacingly, "But there's one little problem. Do you happen to know what that may be?"

Gabrielle tried to back away from him but not before he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulders. "You can't do this! Xena will be back soon and when she finds out what you have done, you'll be as good as dead! Look, put me down now and forget this ever happened! Okay?" She squirmed in his grip and tried to kick him. Realizing that wasn't doing any good she pulled his hair and bit his ear.

"OW! You little-! Oh, I'm going to enjoy this! You know I wasn't going to do anything to you but give you a little scare, but you blew it! I'm going to teach you how to respect the son of a great warlord!"

Carrying her to the hut, he threw her to the ground and tied her hands and feet to four stakes in the ground so that she was lying spread eagle on the dirt floor of the hut. Looking around she saw that it was sturdier than it appeared outside but the ceiling was full of holes and she saw that it was late afternoon.

"You realize that Xena will kill you if you do anything to me! I'll never give in to you! You'll have to kill me first!"

"Oh come now, I'm not gonna kill you. I've got other plans for you!" Taking her top and skirt off, he looked at her body with obvious pleasure. "Well, at least he has good taste. Well, let's start your lessons." Grabbing the back of her head, he forced her head towards his. "How about a little kiss to start with?"

As he bent toward her, Gabrielle spat in his face. He slapped her hard and left a huge red welt on her pale cheek. "Don't do that again! Conscious or not, you will learn how to respect a man!"

"I will never respect you! When I get out of this, I will kill you!"

Reaching towards her, he said, "We'll see."

Reaching the hut, Joxer saw Gabrielle's staff and other stuff strewn about the area. Grabbing her staff and walking toward the hut, he called out, "Gabrielle! Are you in there? Jett! If you touch her I'll kill you!" Gathering up his courage and holding Gabrielle's staff, he walked into the hut.

"Welcome dear brother! I've get your wench in here ready for her first lesson in obedience."

He barely finished when Joxer slammed into him. "Get off her!" He growled, his eyes flashing at the sight of his beloved tied and naked. "Get out of here, now!"

"Oh sure! As soon as she learns her place as a woman, she's all yours. Unless you'd like to go first?" Jett grinned.

With a roar like a mighty lion, Joxer leaped at his brother. Using Gabrielle's staff, he swung at his brother. Jett easily evaded the poorly aimed blow and twisted the staff out of Joxer's hands. Jett laughed and pushed his brother to the ground. Joxer twisted and tried to stab Jett with his sword. But Jett laughed and knocked the sword out of his hands.

"Come now, little brother! You know you can't beat me. Just sit there and be good and maybe I'll let you have her when I'm finished."

Grabbing the dropped sword Jett pointed it at Gabrielle, "We have unfinished business, you and I. And you," Jett pointed the sword at Joxer, "don't get in my way! Just stay there and be good!"

Throwing himself on Gabrielle's nude body, Joxer said, "I won't let you do this! You'll have to kill me before I will let you do this!"

Looking into Gabrielle's eyes and trying not to think of her body beneath his, he whispered, "I'm sorry! I wish I could have saved you from this!"

"You want to die for this wench? Too bad. We could have some fun! Oh well! You always were a party pooper. Don't worry. I'll make it quick, after all, you are family!" Raising the sword, he started to bring it down when he realized that he no longer had control of his arms. Looking around he saw a woman with raven black hair, wearing leather armor and a vicious look on her face.

"All right! What's going on here?"

"Oh, nothing! Just a little training session, that's all! You want to join in? You might learn something!" Jett replied with an evil smirk.

Drawing her sword, Xena approached Jett and shoved the point of her blade into his throat.

"Get out! If I ever see you around my friends again, you will not live to see the next day! You're lucky, I feel good today! Normally I would gut you alive for doing what you did. But someone else has better plans for you! In fact, she's waiting outside."

Smacking his bum with the flat of the blade, she shoved him to the door. Outside the trio heard the unmistakable voice of the goddess of love. "Come, love-bunny, you got some things to learn about how to treat a woman!" Then with a flash of light they disappeared.

Joxer quickly untied Gabrielle and walking out of the hut said, "I'll just, um, wait out here until you're dressed." When Gabrielle was dressed, her and Xena went outside and thanked Joxer.

Turning to Xena, Gabrielle asked, "How did you manage to get here so quickly? I thought you were going to deal with a warlord?"

"Aphrodite appeared and said something about Joxer's brother teaching Gabrielle a lesson and that I should, like, hurry!" Xena grinned.

Running to Joxer and hugging him tight, Gabrielle whispered, "Thank-you! If you hadn't come when you did I don't want to think about what might have happened! Thank-you so much!"

"Oh, well, um, you know, it was just the right thing to do. And I couldn't just let him do that to you. Well, I guess I'll be going now and let you two get set-up for the night and, uh, bye." Joxer blushed and mumbled.

Turning, he started to leave but Gabrielle grabbed him, swung him around and kissed him full on the lips. In the entire history of kisses, there has not been one kiss that surpasses that one in passion and longing and true love. When at last they both needed a breath, they parted.

"Oh gosh!" Joxer exclaimed and fainted.

Giggling, Xena and Gabrielle started to set-up the evening camp.

The End

Please take the time to write to Anne at JoxerBuddy@hotmail.com and let her know how you liked the story!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Aphrodite, and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of StudiosUSA and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights or trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is copyright © 1999 by Anne Beaudry and is her sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.